Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrom.
You know that feeling when you stand up to quickly and your head just goes, “NOPE!” Headrush, right?
IMAGINE HAVING THAT ONLY WORSE.
Your vision starts to go, you can’t stand up, your heart rate spikes, it’s like everything around you is starting to dissappear, and sometimes you full on pass out. You faint.
I’ve had a very mild case of POTS for a while now. I get up, start walking, and suddenly everything is telling my not to. My vision starts to go black, my legs go weak to the point where I need to sit right on the floor. But it’s never gotten past that.
I got up and started walking. After a few seconds, I start having a dizzy spell. Nothing I’m not used to.
Except this time, my legs don’t just go weak. They don’t work anymore. It’s terrifying to suddenly have your legs refuse to support any of your weight. I could have seriously hurt myself if I hadn’t been trying to sit down in a safe way.
My entire vision goes black except for one tiny dot in the center. My head feels heavy, like my neck can no longer hold it up.
My arms start to loose feeling. It feels like when your foot goes to sleep and you need to wake it up. The pricking feeling you get when it slowly starts to gain that blood flow. Except my arms were losing the blood flow.
It’s so scary. So terrifying. I was so close to losing consciousness. I had lost all control of my own body for what felt like forever, but was more like five or ten seconds.
I think I’m getting worse, and I’m scared. POTS usually goes along with several other disorders, like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrom, and Mast Cell Activation Disorder. I have those too. None of these are curable. It’s not like I can surgically remove anything like you do when your appendix ruptures or you have a hernia. I’m stuck like this for the rest of my life, and there’s nothing I can do about it besides find ways to cope.
I have to learn to live with several chronic illnesses.