christopher-kent

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THE CROSSOVER NOBODY ASKED FOR: WTNV + OMGCP

It is possible you will see hockey players at the ice rink. Do not approach them. Do not approach the ice rink.

Would you rather have a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home? Or 1000 roaches?

Bitty: Kent Parson. You don’t do anything except bring unacceptably dry scones to NHL meetings and take grammatically disastrous minutes on your shifts as meeting secretary. GET IT TOGETHER, KENT!”

Annie’s Coffee: Devour your own empty heart.

Ransom: “Angels are not real, and we are not allowed to know about their existence or hierarchical structure.”

Bitty, upon meeting Jack: “A new man came into the haus today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful cheekbones? Why his perfect and beautiful ass?” 

“… And now, the weather.” *BEYONCE BLASTING THROUGH THE HAUS SPEAKERS*

(inspired partly by this post by @cardamoms but mostly by the insanity that is hiatus)

but wAIT, THERE’S MORE: [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [extra]

Sexuality headcanons

Because let’s be real, no one in this comic is straight

Gay af: Bitty (Ofc) but also Dex. Like this poor boy growing up with the most severe case of internalized homophobia and then he gets to Samwell and meets Bits and he thinks that his attraction to men is not a bad thing because how could it be when this blonde ray of sunshine is the most genuinely good human being he’s ever met but also the Gayest™

Fly Bi’s: Ransom, Holster, and Lardo. Lardo is my artsy bisexual trope, Holster is my bisexual musician trope. Both of them are super chill about their sexualities like there was no big revelation it has just always been there. But Ransom, Ransom is a constantly doubting yourself bisexual. Like always asking himself if he’s faking it, is he really gay? Or just straight and experimenting? Or what if everyone is right and this really is just for attention. Ransom needs constant validation that his sexuality is real because he’s gone through life constantly being told that it’s not and sometimes he believes it.

The Pansexual™: Derek “Chill” Nurse does not care what’s in your pants, but what’s in your soul. Basically it doesn’t matter what your gender is if you write him poetry he will fall in love immediately.

Queer as folk: Shitty. He is completely in rejection of labels and waxes poetic about how they are a product of gender roles and the binary. He doesn’t want to be put in a box so when people ask about his sexuality he just says Queer because to him it just indicates ‘not straight’ and that’s all he cares about. But, also Kent Parson, who literally could not give a single shit to figure out which identity most accurately represents his preferences and just likes who he likes and shrugs.

Demisexual: Jack Zimmermann, who has never been sucked off by a puck bunny in his life (unless you count that time that he and bitty put that Halloween costume to good use). Jack 'runs across campus in my graduation gown to kiss a boy I just realized I love’ Zimmermann only ever feels sexual attraction once a significant emotional bond had been formed. Jack 'hockey sexual’ Zimmermann who for as long as his friends have known him was not interested in anyone romantically except for a relationship that lasted like a few dates, who is the 'pickiest man alive’ except gender doesn’t matter.

Asexual: Chowder, and also Farmer, who kiss and appreciate physical displays of affection but are both not interested in sex and would much rather spend their time watching nature documentaries about sharks and cuddling.

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The launchpad to a rich alternate universe, Gods and Monsters is a must-see. This movie transports the Trinity to a different corner of the DC universe. Superman is no longer Kal-El; he is Lor-Zod, the biological son of General Zod. Batman is no longer Bruce Wayne; he is Kirk Langstrom, a brilliant scientist whose attempt to cure his cancer transforms him into a vampiric vigilante. Finally, Wonder Woman is no longer Diana Prince; she is Bekka, a member of the New Gods, who is exiled on Earth after a tragic event in her past. Together, the three police the globe, often unleashing ruthless tactics against evildoers. The twist comes when mysterious assassins begin murdering some of the world’s top scientific minds, people connected to the Justice League. With the evidence mounting against them, the trio must uncover the mastermind trying to defame the world’s most powerful guardians. But as their unseen nemesis begins to make more brazen chess moves, they find themselves two steps behind a plot that leads to their eradication. Gods and Monsters is a refreshing experience; the only real downside is that seeing this film is a wake-up call to the void in storytelling that’s left behind when Bruce Timm isn’t pulling strings. It’ll be hard to accept less after this, so New 52 features need to up their game.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters, by Kofi Outlaw.

“But Superman just puts on a pair of glasses as a disguise it’s ridiculous”

Clark Kent wears clothes two sizes to big for him, pitches his voice differently, slouches, alters his speech patterns, changes his mannerisms completely, and deliberately chooses thick, large glasses that distract from the rest of his face. Not to mention that a white guy with dark hair,blue eyes, and no distinguishing features isn’t exactly a rare occurence. Unless someone spent a significant amount of time with both Clark Kent and Superman, which very few people do, it makes perfect sense that they woudn’t piece it together.