“As your husband-” “ *Groan* Phichit no-” “-I think I deserve to-” “-Phichit stop, we’re not even-” “-know where you’ve been spe-” “-we’re not even really together!” “*Dramatic gasp* How could my own husband say such a thing!?”
Yuuri and Phichit are so close, and so overly affectionate with each other that half the time, their rinkmates forget that they’re not actually in a relationship
Yuuri and Phichit probably fought over whose best man Celestino was going to be, before eventually Yuuri caved and let Phichit have him. Nishigori ended up being Yuuri’s.
They probably take advantage of all those couples’ discounts on Valentines day. Usually just holding hands and being snuggly is enough to convince people, but Phichit has probably kissed Yuuri a few times when the situation called for it. Neither of them really mind it, but it does feel kinda weird, so they don’t do it unless they have to.
They celebrate their anniversary together every year. Celestino gives them the day off practice, and they go out to the movies, or stay at home and have a quiet night in, or go to an amusement park. Even after they’ve divorced and each married their real s/o, they never give up this tradition. They take turns every year on which of them has to fly out to the other’s country for the week. Viktor and Seung Gil aren’t bothered by this at all - they probably find it hilarious.
They still call each others’ parents as mom and dad.
One day, Yuuri and Viktor and Chris and all the other skaters in their circle of friends are having a party and they decide to play “Never Have I Ever”. Chris is trying to get back at Viktor for something he said earlier, so he just smirks and goes “Never have I ever been married to Yuuri Katsuki.” Viktor smirks as he locks eyes with Phichit, and they both down a drink simultaneously. Yuuri groans and hides his flaming face in his hands, while everyone freaks out because WTF!?!?!??!!!?!?
Bear in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that every time you violate or propose to violate the free speech of someone else, in potencia, you’re making a rod for own back. Because the other question raised by Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes is simply this: who’s going to decide?
To whom do you award the right to decide which speech is harmful or who is the harmful speaker? Or determine in advance what are the harmful consequences going to be, that we know enough about in advance to prevent? To whom would you give this job? To whom are you going to award the job of being the censor? Isn’t it a famous old story that the man who has to read all the pornography, in order to decide what’s fit to be passed and what’s fit not to be, is the man most likely to be debauched?
Did you hear any speaker, the opposition to this motion — eloquent as… one of them was — to whom you would delegate the task of deciding for you what you could read? To whom you would give the job of deciding for you, relieve you of the responsibility of hearing what you might have to hear?
Do you know anyone — hands up — do you know anyone to whom you’d give this job? Does anyone have a nominee? You mean there’s no one in Canada good enough to decide what I can read? Or hear? I had no idea. But there’s a law that says there must be such a person. Or there’s a subsection of some piddling law that says it. Well, the hell with that law then. It’s inviting you to be liars and hypocrites and to deny what you evidently know already.
Solitude did increase my perception. But here’s the tricky thing—when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. With no audience, no one to perform for, I was just there. There was no need to define myself; I became irrelevant. The moon was the minute hand, the seasons the hour hand. I didn’t even have a name. I never felt lonely. To put it romantically: I was completely free.
Christopher Thomas Knight, who claims to have lived completely alone for 27 years.
Life is shit. The news is terrible. Go watch a funny movie. Here are some suggestions:
Some Like it Hot – A couple of dudes on the run. Marilyn Monroe trying not to get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. A hilarious Jack Lemmon. Though it dates from a much more hetero-time, it’s funny and not mean-spirited. It’s aged well. Free on Amazon Prime.
Young Frankenstein – Comedy genius. Just watch it. Free on Netflix.
Groundhog Day – Bill Murray at his sardonic best. If you haven’t watched this movie in a while, it’s time for a re-watch. There are jokes in here you don’t know you forgot. Free on Starz.
Trading Places – Watch Dan Akroyd and Eddie Murphy stick it to some old white one-percenters. If that’s not satisfying, I don’t know what is. Free on Netflix.
Best in Show – Dogs. Christopher Guest. Hilarity. Free on Netflix.
What We Do in the Shadows – If you enjoyed the recent Thor, you may enjoy this earlier work from director Taika Waititi and partner Jermaine Clement. Treat yourself. Free on Amazon Prime.