These assholes go nuts for Christmas, they love it
Ray likes to pretend that he’s Jewish (he’s not) to irritate the rest of them. He has three Hanukkah sweaters.
One time, in order to deck out the penthouse, Geoff literally bought an entire store to show off to get enough decorations. It looked like the entire North Pole had thrown up in there. They loved it.
If you think that there’s not mistletoe up the asshole in that place, think again. Platonic kisses constantly (and let’s be real all the shippy-mistletoe headcanons you could want but that’s a whole different post)
they get the biggest damn tree that they can find every year. It takes a few hours to decorate completely, with everything from fancy ornaments to bullet casings
Gavin always puts up the custom-made Nice Dynamite ornament Michael got him for Christmas one year
Jack, as mentioned in my other post, gets a new shitty Christmas sweater (she loves them) from Michael every year.
((this year’s may or may not have been the Hotline Bling one))
They’ve got this big golden star-shaped tree-topper, and every year they try to alternate who gets to put it on top of the tree. I say try because every year they have to do whatever they can to stop Gavin from putting the star up first, purely to be a little shit.
They always, of course, get each other gifts, but some years they like to add in Secret Santa, too, a few days before Christmas. This, obviously, results in mayhem, especially when you have Gavin or Michael buying gifts for the other (”sure, I have to be nice at Christmas, but it’s not technically Christmas yet, so”), or whenever Gavin is Geoff’s Secret Santa.
One year, overnight, six knitted stockings appeared over the fireplace. Each Crew member’s names (Geoff, Gavin, Jack, Michael, Ryan, and Ray) was embroidered at the top, and the stockings alternated colors (green for the Gents, red for the Lads). No one knew where they came from for roughly 14 hours, before they all realized that it had to be Ryan
“What, you didn’t think all my hobbies were murder-related, did you?” he says, to a forceful “yes” from literally everyone else in the room
they sing. All. The. Time. Christmas singing begins the second that Thanksgiving ends, and it doesn’t stop until Christmas is over. Some big hits included “All I want for Christmas is (Dicks)”, “O Holy (Dicks)”, and “Silent Night”. They aren’t allowed to sing or play the so-called “Dead Mom and Shoes song”, because it makes Geoff cry.
Ryan and Jack are the only two that aren’t complete shit at wrapping, so most presents small enough to fit into the penthouse are in bags or otherwise creatively disguised.
some more memorable gifts include a tank for Michael (from Geoff), a literal truckload of yarn for Ryan (from a very smug Ray), and a certain type of tea only made where Gavin grew up, that reminds him of home anytime he’s missing it (from Jack)
No heists on Christmas. No robberies, no messing with anyone else on Christmas.
Christmas dinner goes about as big as it can; ham and potatoes and gravy and booze and casseroles and anything and everything you can imagine. It takes all six of them a couple days to gather and make everything. There’s always at least one food fight on Christmas Eve.
at the end of the day, stuffed full, having watched some of their old videos (courtesy of Jack, ((in my other post)), they sit. And they talk, and talk, and laugh, and drink. And Ray gets off his DS, and Gavin calms down, and Michael doesn’t yell, and Ryan goes maskless. And it’s nice.
((literally I have so many headcanons for these assholes if you ever want more hmu))
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