christmas praying

top 10 things danes will say that might cause an awkward silence in a multicultural environment

((based on shit I’ve said))

1. I mean, I was like 12, of course I was getting drunk… right?

2. honestly, nothing makes your day like eating rye bread with heated liver paste. 

3. ohmyGAWD it is sO HOT. like, 15 degrees!! where are my shorts? put that fucken jacket away susanne, jesus.

4. y’know when you dance around the tree at christmas and just pray that one of the candles doesn’t fall off the tree and set everything on fire… again?

5. yea, I’ve been sick since september, but like, in two weeks we’ll be in march and the snow might melt so maybe I’ll stop coughing and dripping snot everywhere? 

6. *talks about an absurd thing to do* but really, I’ve done worse, I went to efterskole ((boarding school)).

7. ok so maybe I couldn’t feel my foot or walk, but I mean, it was january and I’d been outside for hours.

8. I’d like some vienna bread. no, a berliner. no, a dane. wait..

9. don’t you know that song “køb bananer”? huh? “buy bananas”? like, it’s a classic!! our cultural treasure!! “buy bananas”!!!!!

10. so we were eating lunch, and I swear to god, everyone was sooo drunk… what?

The Party: part 15/?

K: I mean seriously

K: Why don’t you ever listen to anything I say

K: If I tell you I don’t need help then I don’t need it, It’s like your ears broken 

K:….

K: are you even listening to me!?

L: …

K: *Throws burn cream tube*

L: OW!

L: What was that for!?

K: You weren’t listening to me!

L: Just because I’m not answering doesn’t mean I’m not listening Keith, god

L: You don’t have to be that upset about it

K: That’s NOT what i’m upset about.

L: *Sigh* I know.

K: What.

L: Look, I know you’re angry with me and you obviously have a lot to say so say it

L: I don’t care how bad it is, just tell me

K: ….

K: Okay.

4

cause i’m weak and cause they deserve a break
part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |6 | 7 | 8
yep, you can use them just put credits

Scrooge Howell

Summary: Dan Howell absolutely hates Christmas. Although maybe he should’ve warned his new roommate before Christmas came, as now he was in the metaphorical equivalent to Christmas Bootcamp.

Word Count: 3.3k

Contains: Christmas

My other chirstmas oneshots:

-malevolent mistletoes: enemies to lovers drabble

-mistletoe miracles: christmas smut

-christmas can’t be cancelled: also christmas smut

-snowdin: not really christmas but totally cold be

-fireplace cuddles: same as snowdin

Keep reading

Robin’s Nest: Part 10

Prompt: Where the robin’s were Bruce’s and Batmom’s biological kids

Words: 1329

AN: This was edited by my wonderful team of beta’s who continue to plow through my stories.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9


Christmas is a big deal in the Wayne household. It has been ever since Dick was born. In fact, before the kids you and Bruce were more likely to eat a TV dinner and watch Die Hard than do anything all that Christmassy. However, when Dick was born Bruce had decided that he wanted to go all out for Christmas, just like his parents had for him. It was during that year that your Christmas traditions were born.

Dick had only been around a month old at the time, but the two of you had bundled him up and taken him to get a tree. Then the two of you had decorated it while telling Dick Christmas stories. That first tree had been very elegant, filled with Thomas and Martha Wayne’s ornaments. Over the years, however, a mix of more family like ornaments had made it onto the tree. There were ones with each of the kid’s birthdays, or in Cass’s case one with her “gotcha day”. There were homemade ornaments and class made ornaments, and the wonderfully pretty ornaments that had first decorated the tree now sat carefully out of reach rather high up on the tree. Instead of being in the foyer, the tree had been moved to the family room, where there were couches to lounge and snuggle on.

You decorate the rest of the house as well. The kids hand handmade decorations, help set up the garland, the manger, and the wreaths. It’s an all-day activity that Bruce takes off of work for. By the time you’re done everyone is exhausted.

You spend a lot of the kids’ holiday off of school baking in the kitchen. You bake lots of treats and goodies, and then you and the kids take them to Gotham’s police and fire departments. Very early on you and Bruce decided that you’d never spoil the kids. They couldn’t just have something simply because they wanted it. There were chores that had to be done, and you always made sure to take them to volunteer somewhere at least once a month. During December however, you’d take them somewhere to volunteer at least once a week. A soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, a food drive, and of course you and Bruce take on a whole angel tree, because kids deserve a nice Christmas. You feel like it’s important to show that donating money doesn’t fix everything, helping out and lending an actual hand is just as valuable.

There’s no big Christmas ball. You save that for New Year’s Eve, because Christmas is about happiness, and the people who come to those things always find a way to suck away the joy. You figure it’s better to end the year with that.

You and Bruce also take the kids to look at Christmas lights. Alfred makes hot cocoa and cider, and packs warm cookies, and he takes you through the neighborhood to look at lights. The kids press their faces against the windows ohhing and ahhing. When all is said and done they’re exhausted and ready for bed.  

You and Bruce tackle Christmas shopping together. You go out in these cheesy disguises, like hats and sunglasses, and make a day of it. You even share one of those giant pretzels.

This year however, you’re not able to do as much, and you’re not able to go as long. Because this year, you’re pregnant again, and your due date is Christmas day. You’re praying that the baby comes late, so you don’t have to spend the day away from the kids. As it is, you’ve already had to miss the Christmas lights, the shopping, and the pretzel, because you can’t go long without peeing. Still you make the best of it, as you watch the kids run around and ask you to taste test things.  

The baby doesn’t come on Christmas; he comes on Christmas Eve. It’s early in the morning, and you’ve been banned from the kitchen because the kids are finishing up wrapping their gifts. You do your best to not make a big fuss about it as Bruce drives you to the hospital. You’re extremely lucky, your labor is fast and easy, and you deliver within three hours of arriving at the hospital. The doctor just grins and makes a comment about how having so many kids makes the process easier. You just kind of stare at him, because he obviously wasn’t there for Dick’s labor and delivery.

The baby is happy and healthy, and he looks so much like Bruce that it’s scary. In fact, Damian and Terry look a good deal alike as well. You name him Terry, and he’s adorable. He has a full head of this black hair that’s sticking up in every direction, and as you look at him you realize that you’re done. This is your last baby. And from the way Bruce is wrapping that arm around your shoulder you know he’s thinking the same thing.

The doctors want to keep you overnight, so Bruce goes home to tuck the kids into bed. He reads them the night before Christmas, and tucks them in. Then he takes care of putting all the presents under the tree.

You’re discharged at five am, and you’re exhausted. But you smile as Bruce takes Terry, so you can go change into your soft pajamas. You come back to find Bruce rocking Terry slowly in front of the now lit fire place, and singing Silent Night. You watch for a moment before you join in. When you’re done you take the baby and Bruce goes to change.

The kids come barreling down the stairs at six in the morning, with cries of joy. But they stop dead at the sight of you and Terry. You just smile and say: “Guys, this is you new brother; Terry.”

They surround you, and Dick, Jason, and Tim take turns holding him. Cass is hesitant, so you pull her into your side, and help her. You show her the proper way to hold him, and she lets out this huge smile. Damian and Helena hold him with Bruce’s help, and once everyone’s had a chance, they dive into the presents like the kids they are. You snuggle into Bruce and just watch as the kids exclaim over what Santa brought them.

Those in the League that have nowhere to go are invited to Christmas dinner. J’onn, Diana, Shayera, and John take up the invitation. Everyone but John is a bit mystified by Terry, and you realize that they haven’t had a lot of interaction with kids. John however is a natural, and he just smiles and says “I have a ton of nieces and nephews.” Each leaguer gets a present, and as the kids pull them away to go play, you watch them go with a smile on your face.

Then Bruce is wrapping his arms around you, careful of Terry. He whispers: “Look up.” and you smile at what you see before turning and kissing your husband under the mistletoe.

Mistletoe

Request:🌠 Reader has a crush on Bruce so the batboys (maybe even Alfred) cover the entire house in mistletoe to get them together 🌠

New story omg. I finally wrote something

You were ashamed.

Having barely reached the twenty second year of your life and crushing on a man that was at least 10 years older than you,it was shameful. For you nonetheless.
  Even the fact that you were in his house for Christmas was shameful. You could easily embarrass yourself and he, Dick, the one who settled this whole thing, knew. And you were sure that he’d opt to laugh if you actually made a fool of your very own self.

You knew Dick for many years. Ever since he came to Gotham academy actually.
And still, you could remember yourself being the number one fangirl of Bruce Wayne. You couldn’t believe that Dick was his ward, it was as if heavens had sent a small part of them to you and certainly you didn’t believe it when Dick told you that he’d get you married to Bruce Wayne.

Of course, you recalled each of these moments, especially now, that you were forced into the huge Manor, and into Bruce Wayne’s lifestyle.
  Dick had helped you more than anyone in this planet. He helped you get into university and he was expecting your graduation during the upcoming year. He even helped you get a job as Bruce Wayne’s assistant in the company. And seriously? Whenever you asked why he was so good with you, all he answered was that he wanted his future ‘mother’ to be settled.

_______

“So, (y/n) clear my schedule for tomorrow and transfer everything to Wednesday.”

“This Wednesday?” You asked wide eyed. Was he out of his head? Very few people worked during the second week of Christmas vacation. And you would not be the person to break it for them.

“Yes.” Bruce confirmed in a stiff tone, as jf it wasn’t 'stiff’ enough to bring up a work subject during this time, when you were supposed to have fun.

“But mister Wayne, mister Queen won’t be in Gotham next week, and he made it clear to me. He didn’t want you to postpone that meeting.” You said, hesitantly, knowing full well that the blonde man wouldn’t stop complaining to you about Bruce’s decision.

“Oliver can wait, (y/n). I have things to do. Plus it’s only days away.” He said, with his infamous smirk splattered across his face, his hand resting to the small of your back to lead you to the dining room.

You sighed as your stomach took turns. It was a usual habit of his to put his hand on the small of your back to give you a little push, thought you yet had to get used to it. Bruce didn’t seem like a man of physical touch though. He only patted the shoulders of some of his good employees and shook hands with colleagues or other well known billionaires.
It made you think. Bruce didn’t touch a woman unless he took some interest in her, and yet he was touching you even though you strongly refused to believe that a man like him would fall for someone like you. It was intriguing though too. What if he actually did like you. What if he wanted you in the same way you did?

These and other similar questions run through your mind every single time his enormous palm rested on the small of your back.

Oh how you wanted him to feel that way about you too. You wanted to grab him by his collar and lower him to your level -because who thought Bruce Wayne would be so tall- and crush your lips on his, knowing full well that this could cost your job and knowing full well how much older he was. But did you really care?

This question burnt you to no end. Bruce Wayne was a playboy. He didn’t have any serious relationships. He never even did the relationship thing.aybe it was because he was older. Maybe he had gotten bored of- who were you kidding? As far as you knew, he never had a real relationship and who were you to change that?

Tonight though, it was Christmas and you prayed for a miracle.


As you exited his office, with all these thoughts running through your head, you entered the dining room. What you came across though was beyond any imagination.

Countless of mistletoes were hanging from the ceiling, leaving no spot uncovered, no spot in which you could go. You couldn’t kiss him now. Not like this. You wanted it to mean something

“Come on! Kiss already!”

And that’s when you realised the person behind this. Of course it was Dick, but he had … help?
Even the butler was giving a smirk of approval to both Bruce and you, while two other boys cheered. The one you recognised as Bruce’s blood son had a frown, similar to Jason’s as if disapproving that act. But you couldn’t care for the world anymore.
At the moment, you didnt care for the media, your age, your job, your family, your whole damn life, you wanted to kiss him so bad that you didn’t care if it was in this way.
Your world stopped when you felt his lips on yours, surprising you. Your little speech to yourself about courage wasn’t even finished. Amd God, how much did you enjoyed it that it didn’t. You weren’t able to chicken out anymore, it was happening and your insides were burning and bursting in an endless, repeating circle of the same events for as long as his thin lips moved harmonically with yours.
Your body was limp, you couldn’t move a single muscle expect for the ones on your mouth as you kissed him. The duration of the kiss was uncertain. You had lost count of time and forgotten where your body was, because your soul was in heaven. What if you wouldn’t ever see him without blushing again? He had kissed you, felt your mouth against his, given you the privilege of indulging in your own lust for him.


As you parted a moan escaped your lips signaling the loss of his touch, mourning for the loss of the warmth that had kitten up so many fires in your body. Your tongue couldn’t keep your words behind, as your dizzy head, drunk in the idea of his close to you in such way made you say.

“I love you” If anyone was cheering, you couldn’t hear. After the sudden spill of truth your reality crushed. You didn’t want to believe you had just said those words. The kiss was for fun, but now you’d lose your job and the only way to be close to Bruce.


“I think I love you too”
He said and you jumped back at your imaginary word as he brushed your hair away from your face and lowered himself to place his lips on your again.
Before he even started moving them, signaling the start of the kiss he whispered a quiet “Merry Christmas”.

You weren’t sure but Dick might have screamed at the top of his lungs with joy at the sight.