christmas nuts

The Christmas Song "Trump's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire"
Fiona Apple
The Christmas Song "Trump's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire"

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
you’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives
for he keeps clawing at your clothes
everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white
mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.

They know that truuump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh
and every working man is going to cry
when they learn that Letch don’t care how you live or if you die

Sooo I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92
although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, fuck you

5

10 Christmas and Holiday Themed Movies Directed by Women

Arthur Christmas (Sarah Smith & Barry Cook, 2011)
Santa’s clumsy son Arthur gets put on a mission with St. Nick’s father to give out a present they misplaced to a young girl in less than 2 hours.

Black Nativity (Kasi Lemmons, 2013)
A street-wise teen from Baltimore who has been raised by a single mother travels to New York City to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged relatives, where he embarks on a surprising and inspirational journey.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (Sharon Maguire, 2001)
At the start of the New Year, 32-year-old Bridget (Renée Zellweger) decides it’s time to take control of her life – and start keeping a diary.

The Holiday (Nancy Meyers, 2006)
Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other’s countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love.

Love the Coopers (Jessie Nelson, 2015)
When four generations of the Cooper clan come together for their annual Christmas Eve celebration, a series of unexpected visitors and unlikely events turn the night upside down, leading them all toward a surprising rediscovery of family bonds and the spirit of the holiday.

Mixed Nuts (Nora Ephron, 1994)
Events focused around a crisis hotline business on one crazy night during the Christmas holidays.

Nativity! (Debbie Isitt, 2009)
Primary school teacher Paul Maddens is charged with producing the school’s nativity play. Competing against the posh rival school for the honor of best reviewed show in town, the stakes are raised when Paul idly boasts that his ex-girlfriend Jennifer, a Hollywood Producer, is coming to see his show with a view to turning it into a film. The only trouble is - they haven’t spoken in years.

The Nativity Story (Catherine Hardwicke, 2006)
A drama that focuses on the period in Mary and Joseph’s life where they journeyed to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus.

The Preacher’s Wife (Penny Marshall, 1996)
A cleric begins to doubt himself and is visited by an angel. The heavenly emissary is supposed to help the good reverend over his midlife crisis, but he is distracted by the cleric’s lovely young wife.

Season’s Beatings (Danièle Thompson, 1999)
After her second husband dies, a woman tries to reunite with her three estranged daughters from her first marriage on Christmas.
RWBY Shippy Christmas Headcanons
  • Penny was less than a year old when she first met Ruby, meaning she had yet to experience Christmas, which gave Ruby the opportunity to teach her about traditions and such
  • Velvet loves to curl up by the fire with a hot Coco after coming in from the cold. A warm beverage is also nice (huehuehue)
  • When the nights are cold, Blake likes to cuddle with Yang; her semblance makes her body much warmer than the average person.
  • Pyrrha adores the tradition of mistletoe, and can often be found under it, waiting for Jaune to look her way. Ditto for Nora and Ren
  • Qrow and Winter’s favorite carol: Baby It’s Cold Outside
4

10 Holiday Films Written or Co-Written by Women to Watch This Winter

Arthur Christmas (2011) - Written by Sarah Smith and Peter Baynham

Santa’s clumsy son Arthur gets put on a mission with St. Nick’s father to give out a present they misplaced to a young girl in less than 2 hours.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) - Written by Helen Fielding, Richard Curtis, and Andrew Davies

A British woman is determined to improve herself while she looks for love in a year in which she keeps a personal diary.

Carol (2015) - Written by Phyllis Nagy

An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) - Written by Nora and Delia Ephron

Two business rivals who despise each other in real life unwittingly fall in love over the Internet.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) - Written by Caroline Thompson

Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, but doesn’t quite understand the concept.

The Holiday (2006) - Written by Nancy Meyers

Two women troubled with guy-problems swap homes in each other’s countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love.

Black Nativity (2013) - Written by Kasi Lemmons

A Baltimore teen travels to New York City to spend Christmas with his estranged relatives, where he embarks on an inspirational journey.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) - Written by Frances Goodrich, Frank Capra, and Albert Hackett

An angel helps a compassionate but despairingly frustrated businessman by showing what life would have been like if he never existed.

Mixed Nuts (1994) - Written by Nora and Delia Ephron

The events focus around a crisis hotline business on one crazy night during the Christmas holidays.

A Christmas Story (1983) - Written by Leigh Brown, Jean Shepherd, and Bob Clark

In the 1940s, young Ralphie attempts to convince his parents, his teacher, and Santa that a Red Ryder B.B. gun really is the perfect Christmas gift.