christmas legging

Deadpool (2016) Sentence Starters
  • "Shit... did I leave the stove on?"
  • "You're my hero!"
  • "No, no, no, THAT I ain't."
  • "I had another Liam Neeson nightmare."
  • "You know, they made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent."
  • "What the SHIT?"
  • "I'm gonna wait out here, okay?"
  • "Fake laughter. Hiding real pain."
  • "I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s."
  • "Yeah, technically, this is murder."
  • "Love is blind, ____."
  • "This shit's gonna have nuts in it."
  • "You're a lovely lady/man, but I'm saving myself for ____."
  • "That's why I brought him/her."
  • "Do you like what you see?"
  • "Your face is the stuff of nightmares."
  • "Like a testicle with teeth."
  • "You will die alone."
  • "You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado."
  • "So, am I suppose to just smile and wave you out the door?"
  • "Think of it like spring cleaning."
  • "Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness."
  • "Finish fucking her the fuck up."
  • "Language, please."
  • "Suck a cock!"
  • "I'd go with you, but... I don't want to."
  • "If your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"
  • "Maximum effort."
  • "I'd say that you sound like an infomercial. But not a good one, like Slap Chop, more Shake Weight-y."
  • "Do you want any clothes that are not monochromatic? Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II."
  • "Listen ___, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much."
  • "Wanna get fucked up?"
  • "Have you decided what you're gonna say to her?"
  • "Fuck me!"
  • "I don't have time for your goody two-shoes bullshit right now!"
  • "Why such a douche this morning?"
  • "Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up."
  • "Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo."
  • "Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you."
  • "You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!"
  • "That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long."
  • "You're really gonna fuck this up for me?"
  • "You've got something in your teeth."
  • "Do you have an off switch?"
  • "We have everything we need now."
  • "I swear to God, I will find you in the next life and I'm gonna boom-box Careless Whisper outside your window."
  • "Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?"
  • "That was not mean! I'm proud of you!"
  • "I'm gonna need all the guns."
  • "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  • "Seltzer water and lemon for blood."
  • "It reeks like old lady pants in here."
  • "Your crazy matches my crazy. Big time."
  • "Four or five moments. That's all it takes to become a hero."

♥ DEADPOOL SENTENCE STARTERS
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❛ Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… me! ❜
  • ❛ I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. ❜
  • ❛ You’re probably thinking, “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? ❜
  • ❛ You guys going for a bite? Early bird special? ❜
  • ❛ Fuck, you’re old. ❜
  • ❛ Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls. ❜
  • ❛ What the shit? That’s the coolest name ever! ❜
  • ❛ Now, I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s. ❜
  • ❛ A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break? That’s like, sixteen walls. ❜
  • ❛ My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kabab! ❜
  • ❛ Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. ❜
  • ❛ But some of the best love stories start with a murder. ❜
  • ❛ Looks aren’t everything. ❜
  • ❛ Hashtag drive-by. ❜
  • ❛ Ugh, stupid, stupid. Worth it! ❜
  • ❛ That’s right! You’re about to be killed by a zamboni! ❜
  • ❛ Tell me where your fucking boss is or you’re going to die! In five minutes! ❜
  • ❛ I should’ve come and found you sooner, but the guy under this mask, he ain’t the same one that you remember. ❜
  • ❛ After a brief adjustment period and a bunch of drinks, it’s a face… I’d be happy to sit on. ❜
  • ❛ Time to make the chimi-fuckin’-changas. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex. ❜
  • ❛ Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible… and completely unfuckable. ❜
  • ❛ Star in your own horror films. Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. ❜
  • ❛ Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. ❜
  • ❛ Finish fucking her the fuck up. ❜
  • ❛ Suck a cock. ❜
  • ❛ This guy’s got the right idea. he wore the brown pants. ❜
  • ❛ I’d go with you, but… I don’t want to. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve never said this to anyone before, but don’t swallow! ❜
  • ❛ Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays? ❜
  • ❛ Maximum effort. ❜
  • ❛ I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhhh. I’m touching myself tonight. ❜
  • ❛ Ahhh! Your poor wife! ❜
  • ❛ Wanna get fucked up? ❜
  • ❛ Daddy needs to express some rage. ❜
  • ❛ Shit. Did I leave the stove on? ❜
  • ❛ Well I hate to break it to you, but your forty-eight minutes are up. ❜
  • ❛ Right up Main Street. ❜
  • ❛ Have you decided what you’re gonna say to her? ❜
  • ❛ I bet it’s going to feel really big in that hand later… ❜
  • ❛ This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. ❜
  • ❛ Why such a douche this morning? ❜
  • ❛ Have you seen this man? ❜

RETURN OF THE SHORTS:

my friend had a picture of Patrick and I that I like even more than the one I had. I’m putting this on my Christmas card. I will send one to all my followers. <3
Patrick looks stunning in shorts.

Me: “Hey, Patrick could I get a photo?”

Patrick: “Hey! Sure! But only above the waist, I don’t want anyone to know I wear shorts.”

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** MTT brand Leg Lamp! **

Oh yes! Have the glowing glamor of everyone’s favorite underground TV celebrity in your own home! It’s sure to be the centerpiece of any room! Order yours today, darlings!

(you’ll get a “major award” if you get the reference here)

Drawings (unlit and lit up) from December 2016.

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The last great punk rock song before I unspike my hair and carry on, and I will wail about anarchy, drums will blare in rhythmic harmony - anti establishment just gets me no where fast and it’s the last great time I’ll try.

valentines .

You woke to the sound of the doorbell.

The sound itself just annoyed you - it’s stupid and loud and Shawn chose it solely because you said it bugged you and he’s always finding little ways to get under your skin. You love it, of course, deep down, because he’s your boyfriend and you love him, but every time you hear that incessant ringing, something in you just boils.

“Can you get it?” You whine, scooting closer to him and burying your face further into the soft skin of his neck. When he groans the sound rumbles in his chest.

“I’ve gotten it, like, the past hundred times,” he tells you in his gravely morning voice, “you get it. S’ your turn.”

Your mouth gapes. “Are you kidding? I definitely answered it the last couple times when the girl scouts came over.”

“Yeah, only because you know I can’t say no to their cute little faces.”

“Well that’s not my fault.”

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