christmas kicks

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

In a universe where Kent apologizes and Jack and Bitty spend some time in Vegas
  • Jack (spread eagle across a couch, miserable): it so fucking hot what hell hole is this why did we think this was a good idea
  • Bitty, shaking his head: you poor northern boy, you
  • Jack: northern boy? Kent's from New York!
  • Kent: and I've lived in Vegas for almost ten years. Last time I went home for Christmas my mom kicked me out and made me get a hotel room because I wouldn't stop turning the thermostat up
  • Bitty: and besides, at least it's a -
  • Jack: no don't say it -
  • Bitty and Kent: dry heat
Sparks Chapter 15

Originally posted by yunotheidiot

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: Tower Christmas Party ft. all the avengers team members. Bucky gets you for Secret Santa and has trouble deciding what to give you.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 50,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

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Keith and Shiro Bro’s AU

here are some sad bro!au things I came up with bc I hate myself

  • Shiro is 19
  • Keith is 14
  • they were going to the movies with their parents when they got hit by a drunk driver running a red while they were trying to turn left on a green arrow
  • Shiro tried to cover Keith, but only succeeded in covering him with his right arm
  • Shiro had been going to Garrison University for over a year and was on winter break
    • a very kind donor paid for their hospital bills and Shiro’s prosthetic
  • Shiro fought tooth and nail with CPS to be able to keep Keith
  • being the University’s golden boy, Shiro was able to work with them and another extremely kind donor to make a deal:
    • his apartment would be paid for
    • they would be given a monthly allotment of money to cover food, bills, etc
    • Keith’s schooling and textbooks would be paid for
    • he could go to school part-time
    • he had to work in the cafeteria as a chef
  • Keith had to transfer to the public school because the University wouldn’t pay for public school
  • Keith is now 15, Shiro is now 20
  • Shiro had to sit down with Keith and tell him that he always had to be on his best behavior because CPS could rip them apart on a dime
  • that meant no fighting, no pissing off teachers, and absolutely no slacking off
  • Keith is constantly bullied at his new school
  • Shiro goes out with friends one night, they introduce him to a beautiful woman named Allura
  • they hit it off immediately
  • they go on their first day only a month after they meet
    • Shiro promises him he’ll be home early enough to make dinner
    • he isn’t
    • Keith is Really Upset
    • he goes to bed without eating
  • Shiro tries to make it up the next morning by making a huge breakfast
    • Keith has to go in early to help a kid with their physics homework
    • He leaves with a small tupperware of eggs and bacon
  • Shiro feels like guilty as fuck
  • when Keith comes home Shiro brings them over to the couch so he can apologize
    • he makes Keith chamomile tea with a tiny amount of honey and what Shiro thinks is way too much lemon, the exact way Keith likes it
    • Keith cries and tells him about all the shit the other kids did to him on an almost daily basis
    • Shiro cries with Keith as the dam finally breaks
    • Shiro feels like Absolute Shit and even more guilty for not knowing
  • months pass and things are slowly getting better
  • Shiro is 21, Keith is 16, Allura is 20
  • Allura and Shiro are the couple everyone despises
  • Keith and Allura are new bffs, even after a long time of Keith unwilling to open up to her
    • the kids at school are all in love with her and frightened to death of her after she scared the ever loving fuck out of a kid who pushed Keith down the stairs after school so they don’t fuck with him anymore
    • She also has anger issues, and works with him to help him work through it
  • Keith becomes really close with Hunk, Pidge, and Lance
    • he crushes hardcore on Lance
    • Lance is Oblivious as FUCK
    • Keith is also very good at hiding it
  • Allura has unofficially officially moved in with them
    • she stays there 3-4 days out of the week, and in her own apartment the rest
  • christmas is coming up
    • Shiro re-arranges their budget so he has enough money to buy Keith presents
    • he essentially gives up all his own wants
  • They have a kick ass christmas together, even though they didn’t get much for each other
  • Keith finds Shiro’s re-arranged budget
    • he sees all of their Needs and Wants written out
    • all of Shiro’s wants are crossed off, but none of Keith’s are
    • he immediately give up all the movies and lunches with Hunk, Pidge, and Lance
  • Shiro totally forgot Keith’s birthday is only 2 weeks after christmas
    • he doesn’t have enough money to buy him anything really
    • he’s so upset that he cries himself to sleep christmas night
  • Shiro scrounges up enough money to buy him a nice set of colored pencils to go with the adult coloring book Allura got him
    • Allura also gets him the lamp that casts stars all around the room when it’s lit up because Keith had been gushing about it for months
  • Shiro, yet again, feels like shit for not getting him worthwhile and cries in his bedroom
    • Keith hears him on his way to the bathroom
    • he just goes into is room and wraps Shiro in a huge hug
    • he tells him that he saw the budget and not to worry about anything and that they are in this together

so yeah, that’s all I’ve got for now. when I have my shit together, I’m probably gonna actually write this. I also took quite a bit out so that I could have some surprises, so if shit doesn’t make sense that’s why

A Night on The Town

My @mlsecretsanta​​ gift for @katswatermelon​! A Happy Holiday to you! Now have some DJWifi fluff!


*wham*

“I just don’t know what to get her, bro.”

“What about an interview with Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

*wham*

“Got her that last year.”

“Has she interviewed them since Ladynoir became canon?”

*wham*

“Seriously, Nino. Stop beating your head against the table.”

“I’ll stop when I figure this out.”

*wham*

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{Imagine} Christmas Morning with Taehyung

Christmas day has finally arrived, the day you had been looking forward to for months. It wasn’t particularly Christmas that you were excited about, it was the fact that you would be spending the whole day with your boyfriend Taehyung that was especially amazing for you to experience. When the morning sun filtered through the part of the windows, you woke up to the soft breathing of Taehyung beside you, you smiled, shuffling in his arms causing him to stir awake. It takes a moment for either of you to speak, but the excitement is definitely lurking in the atmosphere. You look at your boyfriend’s face, fully awake, there isn’t an inch of tiredness in his eyes as he grins, radiating warmth more intense than the heating. He pulls you into his arms, laughing as you squeal in fake protest as he presses his lips softly against your cheeks, forehead and nose in small, pecks of kisses Your first Christmas had kicked off to a beautiful start.

Taehyung: “Good morning Jagi, Merry Christmas”

{y/n}: “Merry Christmas, Tae”