So as one does, I was just thinking about what it would be like for a person to be hit with Santa Claus’s toy sack. So I started looking for statistics.
From what I can tell, there are 1.9 billion children in the world, and assuming that all those children are nice (see Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town  and Klaus ), that means 1.9 billion presents. I’m also working from the assumption that the average present would weigh about 6.17 lbs, because that’s what a PlayStation 4 weighs, and I’m guessing that makes a pretty good “average weight” present. I mean, there’s probably going to be enough bicycles in there to balance out the actual video games, right? Right.
So, barring magical weightlessness, that means that Santa’s toy sack at the start of Christmas Eve weighs about 5.9 million tons. Obviously, that number goes down dramatically for every second that he’s out making his rounds, but assuming you were hit at the start of the night, and assuming that Santa can swing his bag about as fast as a Major League Baseball player swings a bat (which we can assume because, c’mon, it’s Santa, he’s been at this for centuries), it would be the equivalent of being hit with about seven Golden Gate Bridges at once going 70 miles per hour.
I have no further frame of reference for what that would be like, because most meteor strikes seem to be measured by size rather than by weight or mass, but – and here’s the high concept – I think I just figured out what happened in Tunguska.
I would welcome any further information on this topic.