‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring- except me watching a bootleg as quiet as a mouse.
My stocking was hung by the chimney with care,
in the hope that new playbills soon would be there.
I lay all nestled and snug in my bed, while visions of Heathers danced in my head.
Laura Benanti then tweeted once more,
I laughed and retweeted as I’ve done before.
Then on my Tumblr arose such a clatter.
I left my bootleg to see what was the matter.
I glanced at the clock 9:00pm as I feared,
The RENT fandom awake, after waiting all year.
With all the references, I looked outside,
And pictured Enjolras and I on a lovely sleigh ride.
Then what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a Carole King Musical sleigh and 8 Broadway reindeer.
With a little old driver so lively and quick.
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than Side Show’s closing announcement his courses they came.
He shouted “I love Wicked” and called the reindeer by Elphaba names.
Now Idina! Now Shoshana! Now Eden and Jackie!
On, Christine! On, Kerry! On Donna and Jemma!
Then he exclaimed “I know they don’t rhyme!”
“But dash away! Dash away! Get there on time!
My eyebrows then rose and my eye gave a twitch,
In disbelief Santa was obsessed with a witch!
So up on my house top, the Elphabas flew,
With a sleigh full of playbills, and Holiday Wishes too!
And then in a twinkling, I heard a Fiyero riff,
I looked at my If/Then poster and wondered “What if?”
I ran up the stairs and was turning around,
When St. Nicholas came through the door with a bound.
He was in the Bubble Dress, and I couldn’t help but laugh,
At the sight of Santa wearing the sparkly blue sash!
A bundle of playbills was flung on his back.
A definite Fanzel I could tell for a fact.
We chatted about Wicked, If/Then, Chess, and RENT,
Until he realized the time that we spent.
He sprang to his sleigh and said “well this has been fun!”
And away they all flew like the end of act I.
And I heard Shoshana belt as they drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”