christian cliches

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South Park 30 Day Challenge

Day 03- Favorite Episode

The Poor Kid

Just because an episode makes me cry for days on end, doesn’t mean I can’t love the episode, right? I mainly picked the episode for the McCormick sibling feels, but I’ll get to that in a second. Because I’d also like to bring up Cartman in this episode, because I feel that he is a little under appreciated here (and with good reason, taking into account the perfect story going on with Kenny and Karen). What better way to depict Cartman’s selfishness and complete disregard for others than to have him be jealous of Kenny’s family going to a foster home? He only is though after finding out that in Kenny’s absence, he is the poor kid at school and he thinks Kenny now has it better than him. Cartman did get what was coming to him, though - as he usually does - when he finds that the foster home in Greeley is not all sunshine and daisies. Instead, it’s an agnostic prison. That’s another thing I’d like to bring up hear because dear god (if he exists that is) did I laugh my ass off at the strictly agnostic foster home parodying the cliche christian one. Never again will I be able to drink Dr. Pepper without thinking of this episode. And so that brings us to the McCormick sibling feels where I will attempt not to cry while writing this. I mentioned this a little on Day 01 of the challenge, but I do believe that Karen is the one thing Kenny holds so dear to him that he will stop at nothing to protect her. He is her guardian angel (again, if they exist) and he would be devastated should anything happen to her. That’s highly unlikely though, seeing he’ll always be there for her for protection and comfort and whatever else she may need. The bond between the two of them is unbreakable. Kenny may not be able to die, but once Karen’s time comes, she’ll be able to watch over him as his guardian angel.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why The Poor Kid is hands-down the best episode of South Park ever made.

anonymous asked:

Have you ever had your heart broken by someone who you thought was a "nice Christian gal" and if so how the heck did you deal with it. Just got my heart practically annihilated by a guy who claims to love the Lord and pretty much used me and stabbed me in the back.

Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry this has happened to you. But yes, I have been there. I’ve been crushed by girls several times before, and it’s hard. And dealing with it is probably the hardest. I know there’s probably a million questions going through your mind right now. Like, “Am I not good enough?” “Is this what all guys are like?” “Is this what love is really like?" And I’m so sorry that this guy has done this to you. 
You are good enough, you are valuable, you are worth loving, and love is worth seeking after even though it may hurt right now. I’m not saying you should just go right back into seeking a relationship with someone, but what I am saying is that when the time comes and you know everything has worked out, love is still something that’s worth finding; just don’t rush into it.
The next thing I’m going to say is probably hard to hear and even harder to do. You need to forgive him. I know that sounds dumb right now and also it sounds like the cliche Christian thing to say, but this is what I mean. When I say forgive I mean: You need to not let what he has done to you change who you are. You need to not let what he has done to you take over your life. And you need to not hold a grudge against this guy. Those three things do nothing to him and do everything to you. Forgiveness is so much more about you setting yourself free than letting him off the hook. This is all about getting yourself back on track. Being resentful towards this guy will hurt you a whole lot more than it will hurt him. And this is what I do not mean when I say forgive him: I do not mean that you have to let him back in your life. You do not have to answer his phone calls. You do not have to text him. You can delete him from your life if that makes it easier to deal with. If he hurt you let your friends know so that they can be a barrier between you and him. He has no right to be your friend any more. He’s lost that right. If he ever asks for forgiveness then grant it, but that still doesn’t mean he deserves to get back in your life. You decide to what degree you want him in your life. If you want him totally out then that’s fine. You need to take care of yourself right now.
Now remember, all these things I’ve said are steps to getting over him and this situation. You will more than likely not be able to just get over him in a week, but taking steps towards overcoming this is where your victory is.
Surround yourself with friends, good movies, pizza, coffee, or whatever else makes you happy and take steps towards these things.
It’s hard, but I can guarantee that you will be stronger because of this. And one day you will find an awesome Christian guy who will surpass this loser who has hurt you.
You’re awesome, you’re beautiful, and worthy of loving. Just let me know if you need anything. 
- Christopher.    

Christian Bloggers Trying To Go Viral: Preaching All Day But Ain't Living Your Bible

 

If you’re a Christian, whether you like it or not, you’re preaching with your blog.  This is a big deal.  Of course, we all have an insecurity that we don’t deserve the platforms we have.  Most of us are conveying a hologram of the person we-would-like-to-be.

I think it’s okay to be honest about that – to say, “I’m not there yet."  We’re all still learning here, most especially me.

The harsh truth is, I see too many Christian bloggers who are trying to preach much further than they really are and always talking from a condescending high ground of pseudo-idealism.  Include me in there: I’m always tempted to act tougher than I really am.  We seem to care less about loving actual people and more about tweeting our moral epiphanies.  It’s a lot of full-time blogging from part-time Christians only saying things they’d like to do, like a half-competent coach who pushes his students so he can live vicariously through their success.  If that sounds mean, it’s because it hurts my heart to see so much passion with no momentum.

I wish we were more transparent about how hard it really is: not in a way that enables or pampers, but actually relies on the God we claim to love.  I wish we could stop chest-bumping the hardness of our right theology and stop shaming other Christians with coercive manipulative one-liners.

It’s easy to be a basement blogger and to post photos of the mission trip; it’s harder to roll up our sleeves everyday and get into the grit of real hurting lives.

Blogging naturally necessitates that you put your life on hold to write about your experiences – but if you go immediately from the moment to blogging, you’re not really letting the experience take hold of your heart.  Soon you’re only doing the bare minimum to write for likes and reblogs, which is not transformative but showcasing.  We can all see through it.

If you keep taking shortcuts from living to blogging by skating on the surface of faith, you’ll short-circuit intimacy with the glorious, face-melting, galaxy-sculpting Creator – and He’s the only one who can pierce our hearts deep enough to genuinely sacrifice for each other.

It’s cool if you have the Instagram with the ocean wallpaper and the pick-me-up verses in fancy fonts.  I just think God would rather you be you and not some shrill version of you, to be honest about your unique challenges in this journey with Him.

 

If I Hear "Wrecked” One More Time

I saw a blog post the other day about “The Future of The Church” written by a guy who was about twenty years old, with all kinds of bold declarations about the decline of ministry.  I think it was supposed to “wreck” me.  I like him and he’s a good person, but I sort of cringed at the whole thing.  Not because he was wrong, but because he cared too much about being right.

I kept wondering, “Why should I even listen to what you’re preaching?  What positional authority or experience do you have over church culture? Do you even care about me?”  Zero percent of the post showed that he cared about the church or his fellow Christian or that he even knew what he was talking about.  And he’s never served at church, ever.

I know this sounds awfully judgmental and out-of-character for me, and I suppose I’m defeating my own point. 

But that’s the problem.  Somehow it’s okay to confront others with conviction, but we never turn it on ourselves.  We’re scared of surgical self-examination so we have blogs that throw it at everyone else.  Me too.  We’re tempted to “convict” people with upstanding one-liners that will “wreck” you, and it goes viral because 1) it feeds the default inner-Pharisee and 2) we’re feeding a circle of hyper-spiritual mania.  Listening to Paul Washer sermons is like a badge of salvation.  I guess it’s enough to “feel moved” as if this is movement itself.

We quote verses and other inspirational quotes without living them, because encountering God is too much for our fragile egos.  Everyone’s talking about finding God’s Will and “being led by the Spirit” – but imagine if you actually found it and you were actually led.  It’s safer just to keep it at an abstract doctrinal distance.

It means admitting the problem is not the “future of the church” or luke-warm Christians or whatever else we’re yelling at.  It means the problem is me.

 

Christianese Frankenstein

I suspect that most bloggers are randomly grabbing at quotes from people they’ve never heard of and stitching them together to create some ideal version of themselves, and then projecting that on everyone else. There’s probably a good way to do this, but not when it’s suffocated by passive-aggressive anger. We can tell when it is, and not even you would listen to yourself if you read your own blog.

I don’t need more guilt-trips and Jesus-Juking.  I don’t need a top-down authority, but a side-by-side humility.  It’s being humble that gives you the actual authority to say what you’re saying.

I’m not underestimating the youth.  I’m not saying there can’t be sixteen year old bloggers who bring the truth.  I’m saying that demanding respect simply by saying Christian-type cliches is completely disingenuous to the humility of the Christian faith.   The intensity of my blogging doesn’t make me a better Christian.  If this was the measure, then churches would be ineffectual powerless isolated ivory towers. 

 

Too Many Leaders, Not Enough Living

Why would we even want the responsibility to preach and to lead?  That’s not something to play with.  If you actually want to have a platform to preach Christian-sounding stuff, you might already be doing it wrong.

To claim to be in a teaching position means you get the stricter judgment (James 3).  This means I’m accountable for every word I speak from my platform.  Again, if you have a Christian blog, you’re already teaching.  There are three entire letters from Paul written to leaders about the prerequisites to lead in the church, and 90% of the bloggers I see don’t meet them.  Why so eager to be visible?  The Bible has plenty to say about people who mislead.

The main issue with Christian bloggers is we often ask someone to do something that we’re first not doing ourselves.  It’s fine if we’re growing away from hypocrisy.  Everyone is on a journey of faith and we can’t judge that.  But it’s not okay if we’re calling out others on things we’re still wrestling with, as if this somehow compensates for your double life.

I’m just as capable of being selfish and conceited.  Which is why I’m begging you: Please do not trust me or any other Christian blogger for wisdom.  Bloggers are not your counselors.  Discern, discern, discern. Don’t set me or anyone else on a pedestal.  See the fruit.  See what is of God, and toss out the rest.  Don’t buy into it wholesale. Please think for yourself, because God gave you a mind to do so.

 

Jesus Already Got Us There

If your blog is really tough about church-stuff but you never get into the real-world, you’re raising the wall too high on the God who came into the dirt to be one of us.  Jesus did not preach at but he preached for, and that’s the difference between pointing your finger over a chasm or holding hands through the valley.

People are not just receptacles to push around with tough-sounding theology; they don’t have levers that instantly turn on faith. We do need conviction, but from a heart that sees not who we should be, but could be.

If we absolutely have to speak from a position of authority, at the very least we can stop saying, “You better do this” – and instead say, “It is done.”  We could understand that not everyone is where you are or thinks like you or even believes God is real.  At least we can point to the wonder and amazement of having a book called the Bible and be in awe of the possibility that God has spoken to us tiny little humans.  These things rend me with grief for the person next to me, with the same heart-torn grace and patience that God had for me.

Maybe we can preach some of those quotes to ourselves before we turn them into shackles. And maybe we can have room to talk about our weaknesses, about where we fall short of the very things we demand from others, because none of us are there yet, and honesty motivates me more than bludgeoning me with idealism. I need a hand up. I want to know how to get there with you.

I love you, dear friends, and I hope we can meet confidently in our honesty, to be open about where we fail and simply point to The One who doesn’t.

– J.S.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuK4sZdR36s

Messy Mondays: The Top 15 Christian Clichés

 

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hahaha this is so accurate

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I try not to post the same things on my tumblr and my facebook, but sometimes it’s worth it. 

There are few things that I regret more than the fact that God’s love, the most powerful force in the known and unknown universe has become a common Christian cliche. Is anyone else tired of ‘God loves you’ being the Christian answer to everything? It IS the right answer but its a bit overdone and here is why… SO MANY CHRISTIANS HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT GOD LOVES YOU BECAUSE SO FEW CAN SHOW YOU.

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Cara Reads Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 1 
In the first chapter of Fifty Shades of Grey Anastasia must take her roommate Kate’s place and interview uber successful business man Christian Grey. Cliches happen and Cara does a terrible British accent. 

Tumblr: http://carazelaya.tumblr.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/carazelaya
Youtube: http://youtube.com/carazelaya

okay for like a year there i got really cynical because being cynical is cool and like blogging about jesus is not cool and you might get called some dirty word like “evangelical” and please dear gracious don’t misunderstand me and claim that i said that cynical people or cynical christians aren’t being genuine but i will tell you that after being too cool for christian blogging or talking or thinking or praying for a year, i am not more enlightened, i am not cooler, i am sad. i ran away from god and i am sad about it. and you know what, it’s totally not cool and it’s not trendy, but jesus is better than my cynicism and he’s better than not liking christian music because it’s cliche and poorly written, and he’s better than talking loudly over people who haven’t read as many books as me, and he’s better than being the smartest person in the room or the edgiest person in the room or the coolest person in the room. jesus is good. lord have mercy on me.

@brokenheartsstillsing reblogged your post and added:

Paul and them preached in public because that was normal and culturally acceptable at the time. 

in today’s time, no one will listen to you. The church has such a terrible reputation that once you even hint that you’re a christian, everyone shuts down. People hate when you start blowing cliche christian smoke in their face. Shoving religio down throats is innefective. So yes, you should absolutley talk about Him if you can, but sometimes, you just gotta be you and let the Jesus in you shine through

“Shoving religion down their throats” is not a good idea. But some folks will accuse you of that for doing or saying anything about Jesus. Sometimes just wearing a cross or inviting someone to church ticks people off. 

Regardless of what the cultural norms are, we need to be loud and present in every arena of culture about our faith in Jesus.

There’s an evangelist in Africa that preaches to millions at a time and hundreds of thousands get saved. How many people have I led to the Lord? What difference am I making right now for eternity?

I feel like spending one’s whole life preaching out of love and concern for people’s souls is not the worst thing someone could do. 

This life is a vapor. It’s dangerous for the world to be comfortable in their rebellion against God. We’ve got to wake people up! And if we’re labeled “That crazy person that really believes in God and hell and eternity” then that’s not so bad right?

“If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”


― Charles H. Spurgeon