christ these names will kill me

anonymous asked:

In what ways have you experienced antisemitism in England? (Not being passive aggressive, genuinely curious)

This is obviously just a set of my own, personal experiences.

  • When I was 13, an Iraqi Muslim refugee girl came to my school and ended up in my class part-way through the year. She was told to sit beside me, and my table of students was asked (in private, by the teacher) to help her with her English skills. She became a friend very quickly, and weeks passed normally, until I complained (of course) about preparing for Pesach at home. She didn’t know what Pesach was, so I explained as best as I could. She asked if I was a Jew and I told her that I was. She then called me “dirty” and asked to be moved to sit somewhere else. She never spoke to me again.
  • When I was 16 at my first job with a clothing retailer, an Arab woman was angry that I couldn’t give her money back on some clothes (because of some store policy), called me a “thieving Jew” and stormed out.
  • I’ve had friends become ex-friends because they found out that I was Jewish, and they said that I “manipulated” them by not admitting that I was Jewish in the first place.
  • I’ve had ex-friends say that they wouldn’t have been friends with me in the first place because “Jews always want something in return.”
  • When I was 17 and worked at a jewellery chain store, I was serving an Arab man until he noticed the Magen David around my neck. He cursed at me in Arabic and demanded that my manager serve him instead. When she tried to show him the jewellery that I had brought out to show him, he wanted a discount because of “the Jew’s filthy hands.”
  • In the same job, there was a Muslim woman that I worked with that joined me outside for cigarette breaks. She always begged to make sure we were right down an alleyway so the main street wouldn’t see us. I asked her why she was afraid of being seen, and she told me that others from her mosque might see her. I then asked if it was forbidden for her to smoke, and she told me that it was, but it would be worse if her family found out she was talking to a Jew and she didn’t want to risk it. She begged me to deny that we were friends if any Muslim or Arab asked me if I knew her.
  • My boss at the same job made a point to remind me that the safe had security cameras surrounding it, because she said she knew what “you people” were like. When I faced antisemitism from customers, she demanded that I stop wearing my Magen David so I wouldn’t “antagonise” them.
  • When I had to transfer to a different jewellery store due to moving away to university, I had a different Muslim co-worker. For context, if two people worked together to make a sale, they were supposed to “split” the sale on the computer, as each staff member had a daily quota for both item value and insurance that we were supposed to sell. I did most of the sale, and he said he would help put the sale through the machine, as the customer thought she might buy something else, too. After she was gone, I found out that he’d stolen all of the sale from me. I confronted him, and he told me that “Jews have enough money.”
  • When I was 20, I went to court with my family because of (non-related to our Jewishness) harassment against us from our neighbours. Our court-provided lawyer was a friendly Muslim woman. She sat with us and helped us prepare for being in court, as we’d never been before. My mother has a nervous habit of fidgeting with her jewellery, and the lawyer stopped part-way through a sentence when she noticed her Magen David (for clarification - none of us have “obviously Jewish” names), made an excuse that we were prepared, then left us. In court, she hardly asked any questions unlike the defence lawyer, and after the case finished (it was short, thanks to those behind the harassment being repeat offenders) when we wanted to ask her about what happened next, we were all completely ignored and she refused to shake any of our hands, even after we’d seen her shaking with the defence lawyer.
  • I had a Christian roommate at university tell me that she would “forgive me” for “killing Christ” if I accepted Jesus as my saviour, and was angry when I refused.
  • In a taxi with an Arab driver, he was friendly and asked me if I was doing anything for Christmas. I told him that I was Jewish so wasn’t celebrating, but would probably go to a friend’s Christmas party. He then asked me what I thought about what was happening in Palestine, and I said that the situation was a horrible mess, and that all we could do was hope for peace. He then said, “Jews are baby-killers” and accused me of being racist.
  • When I went to pick up some kosher items from the local supermarket, an Arab family spotted me in the aisle (as kosher, halaal, Polish and “speciality” non-refrigerated items were along the same aisle) and followed me around the store as I picked up the rest of my shopping, laughing in Arabic, and then spat on me. When I went to a staff member to tell them about what happened, he accused me of being an Islamophobic racist and told me that if I didn’t leave the store, he would call security.
  • A different Arab taxi driver, on a journey back home, asked me if I was Jewish. When I told him that I was, he asked threatening questions about “how many Jews” lived with me and when we’d all be home together. I was frightened, I admit, and I gave him the wrong address and hurried to the first person that was outside their house, asking them to take me in because I was worried. I called home, obviously, but the driver stayed outside for over half an hour and only left when the stranger I was with went outside to ask what he wanted, where he apparently said that he was “making sure I (as in, me) was home safe.”
  • I went to buy cigarettes from a corner shop using my debit card. The machine declined it for some reason, although I had more than enough money to cover it. I asked the owner to put the card through again, and he shouted that “Your Jew money’s no good here” and demanded that I leave.
  • I’ve been called a “babykiller” and a “Zionist bitch” when a man spotted my Magen David.
  • My synagogue’s windows have been vandalised, smashed and there has been excrement shoved through the letterbox and smeared on windows and we have to organise an extra police presence during festivals. Over recent years, all signs saying that the synagogue is in fact a synagogue have been removed.
  • When preparing for an inter-faith walk of peace, a priest visited our synagogue and called us “obstacles to peace” and “selfish” for saying that we couldn’t walk on a Saturday morning, when we’re supposed to be in the synagogue praying.

I’ve been spat at multiple times, I’ve had antisemitic slurs thrown at me multiple times. I stopped using Facebook a few years ago because of random rape and death threats sent into my inbox and written when I commented or liked anything to do with Israel or Judaism. My mother has had the same. We have to do our best to protect my brother from the same, and have told him never to tell anyone that he’s Jewish, because that would be far too dangerous for him.

Obviously this isn’t even mentioning the abuse that I’ve had on this site, where I’ve been called a Nazi, I’ve been told to kill myself, asks with antisemitic slurs (not dark jokes, but actual abuse), because whilst I do post some, there are quite a few that I’ve just deleted without comment to block whichever anon has been sending them.

So when I talk about antisemitism, I’m not just someone that happens to be Jewish and is against antisemitism because it’s anti-Jewish as some out-there concept that I’m against, it’s because I’ve been there, I’ve done that, been through it, keep going through it.

It’s very real, and it can be incredibly frightening. That’s why I take it so seriously. And that’s also why I criticise Jews for claiming that some things are antisemitic when they’re clearly not, because I want others to see how horrendous antisemitism actually is so that they take it seriously, too.

Old Hunters DLC Lore &  Iconography (with Mom)

Mom: okay so, Laurence’s pose is a reference to Michelangelo’s La Pietà which makes him the Christ figure of the story since his death (his skull) is the foundation of the Church. Then, as you explained to me, Ludwig is a reference to a demon in Buddhist hell and let’s leave it at that. The Orphan of Kos is ‘the son of (a) god’ and can be considered Christ in his own right even if seen from a different angle since the focus seems to be on the Old Hunters’ sin more than himself as a character.

Me: pretty much.

Mom: Which means that the Hunters are… the Jews who killed the son of God. But then, why is Maria named after the mother of Christ if she is one of those committing the sin? Shouldn’t she be Eve or something like that?

Me: I think it’s because she plays a motherly role as the Doll and her hunter-self trapped in the nightmare still protects both the Orphan and Mother Kos but- BUT the Eve allegory is interesting. After all, the original sin was curiosity on Eve’s part represented by the temptation of the tree of knowledge and there’s a lot of emphasis on the word ‘curiosity’ in Maria’s dialogue…

Mom: And it’s not just Eve, also Pandora. It’s an archetype, it’s always the woman’s fault.

Me: Yup, but Bloodborne is 100% gender equal. That’s why some of the things we discussed regarding the setting and its similarity with the victorian era don’t work. Maria and Gehrman are portrayed in similar ways, they both preside a dreaming world, they both step up from a state in which you wouldn’t expect them to fight back to kick your ass (he’s old, she’s dead) and they both protect a Great One out of guilt. The game places the blame on both, and Kos cursed not just the two of them but all hunters just like God punished not just Adam and Eve but mankind as a whole. I always found the wording of the curse itself very fitting because since a child is the most important thing to a Great One, that’s exactly what Kos decided to target with her curse. “Each wretched birth will plunge each child into a lifetime of misery.”, not unlike the Christian God doomed Adam and Eve’s descendants (us) to sufference, illness etc.

Mom:  Sounds legit. The sins of the forefathers… all you need to wrap this up now are the apple and the snake, I guess.

Me: That’s exactly what Simon, one of the characters in the DLC, says. The forefathers part I mean. Not sure about the apple, it could be an allegory for Insight because of the whole ‘apple of knowledge’ thingy but… mmmh. They already used snakes in a similar way in Dark Souls, literally. The two primordial serpents, so I doubt they would repeat the motif.

[a few days later…]

I found this. It’s from one of the exclusive images released by IGN when the game was still in alpha.

Guess what weapon scales the best with Arcane. It’s the Kos parasite. The weapon you get from re-enacting the original sin of the Bloodborne world: killing the sweet child of Kos.

In the name of knowledge. And curiosity.

Thanks, mom.

harry potter books rated by hinny
  • SORCERER'S/PHILOSOPHER'S STONE: ginny became the ultimate harry fangirl in .2 seconds. 8/10.
  • CHAMBER OF SECRETS: harry literally saved her life and also described her face as glowing like the setting sun what kind of poetic shit. 12/10.
  • PRISONER OF AZKABAN: the ridiculous "making eye contact and trying not to laugh when people do weird things" that they do started what kind of soul mate bullshit. ginny made him a goddamn singing get well card when will your otp. 9/10.
  • GOBLET OF FIRE: ginny started relaxing around harry and we all cried. had the opportunity to ditch neville and go with harry instead but like the Perfect Bean she is, kept her promise wtf harry marry her. 9/10.
  • ORDER OF THE PHOENIX: told off harry effin' potter like it was her JOB lbr he was attracted to it. ginny came up with the name dumbledore's army and also was never weird about harry and cho what a respectful. harry was totes in love with her but didn't know it yet. 8/10.
  • HALF BLOOD PRINCE: harry spends most of the book being an idiot and pining and we all cry. SEVERAL SUNLIT DAYS!!!!! WHAT KIND OF!!!!! GINNY JOKING ABOUT HARRY HAVING A TATTOO ON HER CHEST HAS SHE SEEN HIM SHIRTLESS TO CONFIRM?? TATTOO THIS CHAPTER ON MY CHEST!!!! they break up because they're both noble and stupid i'm gonna cry 50/10.
  • DEATHLY HALLOWS: making out in ginny's bedroom aka me sobbing. harry checking the marauder's map to make sure she's okay, hoping she can sense his gaze jesus CHRIST HARRY LITERALLY ALMOST DITCHING HIS ATTEMPTS TO KILL VOLDEMORT BECAUSE BELLATRIX TRIED TO KILL GINNY CHILL PLS!! they get married and ginny loves harry so much she allows him to make questionable name choices we all cry!!!!! 5745938467983476/10.
don’t breathe

Originally posted by yoongichii

in which you seem to always hold your breath around him.

genre: fluff 

― vampire!yoongi x reader

a/n: word vomits with bora at 1am

     FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WISHED YOU WERE ON DRUGS. It would make trying to make sense of what was happening before your eyes way easier. You stood in horror, watching the infamous-for-so-many-wrong-reasons Min Yoongi feed off of a classmate of yours. You couldn’t quite remember her name, something like Sooyeon. What was more revolting was the fact that her face showed pure euphoria, as if he weren’t sucking the life out of her. 

Placing a hand over your mouth, you slowly took one step back from the classroom. The almost inaudible sound of your shoe hitting the tiled floor made Yoongi glance up sharply. You blanched, feeling your stomach lurch. His eyes were glowing a deep scarlet, the blood dripping down his chin was almost the same color. 

Keep reading

so I’ve always sort of liked the idea that within the communion of saints there the Heavy Hitters, the Career Saints who are invoked widely and in situations of grave need—I’m talking your Catherines and Francises and Theresas, the Twelve Disciples and Michael; the Big Time Major League saints who intercede on behalf of so many, and so are always in conversation with the divine, case managers for the sick and dying and hurting and faithful of the world.

but that also means that there’s a bunch of saints hanging around who are just—minor holy women, lesser martyrs, incidental virgins, doctors of the church who never managed to find a publisher. They’re not prayed to very often, and rarely called on to manage the difficult cases; they have a lot of free time.

so what do you do, if you’re a saint with some free time on your hands? You answer all the not-quite-prayers, the “jesus, don’t turn red don’t turn red’ muttered by cab drivers and the “christ, can you just try it to see this from my point of view?” spat out by a furious girlfriend and all the “oh god please let me make this meeting in time” “please don’t let me fail” “I’m so tired I hope I can get home”

or maybe I just like the idea that every time you mutter “god, let me be okay” there’s some girl killed in 9th century for refusing to marry who falls into step beside you—and though no book or chronicle or living person remembers her name, she squints up at you and says with holy authority, “yeah, you’re going to be fine.”

  • Honey, crying: Someone wrote a mean comment about me! What do I do?
  • Haruhi: Report them.
  • Kyoya: You have a lot of options: Hunt them down, frame them for a crime they didn't commit-
  • Nekozawa: -Put a curse on them, write about them on a bathroom wall...
  • Kaoru: Write a novel, name one of the characters after them, then kill them off gruesomely.
  • Hikaru: I'm partial to laxatives in tea.
  • Haruhi: Jesus Christ, you all need to calm down.
#1- Getting Kidnapped

Description: ♤Getting kidnapped by Damon and Dating Marcel♤

Word Counting: 2302

Originally posted by fireburnsinside

Originally posted by fandoms-broke-my-life

Originally posted by damonandelena

“I’m going out!” You shouted at your older siblings. You turned towards the door, going to open it but Klaus already beat you to it.

“And where do you think you’re going dear sister?” Klaus smiled softly. You gave him a small smile back.

“Don’t worry Nik. I’m only going to take a walk. I have a lot in mind. If you want you can come too,” you raised an eyebrow, smirking a him.

“I would like to sister but now that everybody wants to kill me, I’m in danger and you as well,” Klaus said sternly.

“But Nik they don’t even know you have another sister. Remember I’m the only one that has always been hidden from everyone. Nobody knows there’s another Mikaelson,” you rambled.

“I do not want you in danger for God’s sake, y/n!” Klaus shouted.

“I’m gonna be in danger soon. I have always been in danger,” you shouted.

“What is all this ruckus about?” You guys heard Elijah, Kol, and Rebekah’s footsteps coming towards you both.

“She wants to go out alone,” Klaus said, “I don’t want anyone to harm her.”

“You are not going outside, y/n,” Rebekah said, her voice raising up a little.

“You know how everyone out there is trying to kill Niklaus y/n. They will use you as bait,” Kol said, hands on hips.

“Brothers, sister. I know you worry about her but she knows how to take care of herself. Come on. She has lived for centuries. It’s best we let her go out. We have kept her hidden in this house far too long,” Elijah spoke, his hands going behind his back.

A couple of minutes of silence, Klaus finally spoke.

“Fine. But you’re taking one of my hybrids as your bodyguard. He’ll call me if anything is or looks like it’s danger. Okay little sister?” Klaus asked.

“I promise. I’ll even call you myself if anything looks like danger,” you smiled

“Promise?” All four of them chorused together.

“Always and forever,” you said, the promise in between you and your siblings.

“Okay then. I’ll call him,” Klaus glanced at you before whistling to his hybrid. A tall, buffy man came a stern face and arms behind his back. He looked straight at us, before turning to Klaus.

“I want you to take care of her. Don’t let her out of your side. If danger lurks call me fast. If I find a scratch on her body by someone else and you didn’t call me or Elijah or Rebekah. Say goodbye to your life,” Klaus smirked, waving him.

Kol turned to him as well.

“If I find a single scratch on her by even a paper under your watch, you won’t live your years. I will not hesitate to rip you apart. Organ by organ. Slowly and painfully,” Kol whispered dangerously.

“Promise you’ll call if anything baby sister?” Rebekah asked playing with your hair, ignoring your older brothers threats.

“I promise,” you smiled.

“Be careful y/n. Danger lurks every corner. Now go,” Elijah said, smiling his dashing smile, “Have fun.”

You chuckled, waving them goodbye, sighing in relief as you got outside. You knew this was gonna happen. Especially with Klaus for you and him were the closest siblings.

You looked at the hybrid by your side, who was looking everywhere closely.

“What’s your name?” You asked, placing your hands behind your back, walking quite rapidly. The hybrid didn’t answer just looked around cautiously.

“Okay then,” you whispered to yourself.

Silence overtook you guys, the awkwardness making you cringe and roll your eyes.

“Make we go to the Grill?” You asked the hybrid. He looked hesitant for a while before nodding his head.

You smiled. You went towards the Grill where a lot of people were already there.

“Ah. Just a relaxing day,” you said, sitting next to a raven haired man.

The raven haired man looked at you, a smirk on his face. You gave him a small smile.

“Damon Salvatore,” he introduced himself.

A Salvatore, huh. Never expected them to be here you thought.

“Y/n Mikaelson,” you introduced back, but that was a bad mistake to do. His smirk grew more.

You looked at the hybrid, mouthing him: ‘Call Niklaus.’ The hybrid nodded. He took out his phone, calling Klaus. And as soon as Klaus answered, Damon broke the phone away from the hybrids ear, making the phone fall on the ground.

“You’re an original?” Damon asked.

“Yes,” you said, standing straight.

“You’re Klaus’ sister?” He asked again.

“Now what is this? 20 questions?” You asked, smirking while downing your drink.

“Just interested,” Damon smirked as he took out the hybrids heart.

“Why would you do that? Especially in front of all these people,” you shouted at him.

“Don’t worry. I can compel everyone,” Damon said as he compelled everyone at the grill. You sighed. Hopefully Klaus already knew you were in danger.

“Let’s go outside shall we?” He asked.

“No thanks,” you replied, sass on your voice.

Damon only put on his dangerous smirk.

“Wrong answer,” he said, grabbing a stake out of his leather jacket. He got closer to you, chest to chest and plunged it in you. The place where the stake was, burned as you noticed it was laced with vervain.

“Bastard,” you growled out, trying to get the stake out of your abdomen. But only it got plunged back into its place. You grunted in pain.

“You’re gonna be dead,” you spat.

“And how is that?” Damon asked.

“All my family will come kill you. My mother, my father, and my siblings. Everybody.”

“Your mother and father?” Damon asked.

“They love me. Even asleep. Even dead. They care. I was everybody’s light. They are overprotective. So please help me Damon. Let me go. Or you’ll be dead,” you said, veins appearing in your eyes. And what you said was true. Even though you despised your parents, for some unknown reason they always got mad every time someone hurt you.

“I’ll think about,” as he said that darkness consumed you.

Klaus’ phone rang. He saw his hybrids name on his phone and Klaus felt a bad feeling come to his stomach.

“Hello?” Klaus answered. But nobody answered, only a thump of something hit the ground. He heard your grunts of pain on the other line.

“You’re gonna be dead,” he heard you. Klaus sped to the living room where all the siblings were sitting at. The siblings looked at him, Klaus put his index finger by his lips, motioning them to not make a sound. Klaus put the phone on speaker.

“And how is that?” They all heard someone say.

“All my family will come kill you. My mother, my father, and my siblings. Everybody.”

“"Your mother and father?” That voice. It sounded familiar to all your family. But they just couldn’t place the name on it.

“They love me. Even asleep. Even dead. They care. I was everybody’s light. They are overprotective. So please help me Damon. Let me go. Or you’ll be dead,” they heard you say. But the name stood out to them. They all growled in anger as Klaus heard the phone being shattered. None of them knowing where you were of course. And they couldn’t handle knowing you’re hurting.

“Let’s call Marcel. He’ll be the one who will take it the worst out of all of us. He’ll do the pleasure into killing Damon,” Rebekah said. And no, she wasn’t jealous of you and Marcel. After all she was the one who brought you guys together. She was happy for you.

Rebekah called Marcel, knowing he will be fuming in anger.

Rebekah heard Marcel’s voice throughout the other line.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Marcel we need you right now,” Rebekah spoke rapidly

“What happened? Is y/n ok?” He asked worryingly.

“That’s why we need you. Someone kidnapped y/n ,” Rebekah smirked as she heard Marcel growl in anger.

“On my way,” Marcel hung up.

Rebekah looked at her siblings, a devious smirk on her.

“Well?” Kol asked.

“He’s fuming. We’ll get y/n back,” Rebekah said, biting her lip.

“We’ll get her back.”

You grunted in pain as your hands were held by a rope tainted with vervain.

“Aw poor you. I wonder what your siblings are doing right now?” Damon asked.

“Planning your death,” you sassed.

“Oh darling that’s why I have you,” Damon slapped you.

“They’ll kill you. Slowly and painfully. You’ll wish you’ll even met me. Let me go. Right now,” you growled.

“No thanks,” he then sped to you snapping your neck and leaving you unconscious.

“I’m here,” Marcel said, speeding in the living room with all his other vampires, filling half of the living room.

“Ah I see you brought your minions,” Klaus said.

“It’s my girl they took. Do you think I will only let you guys hurt him? Hell no. I’m going with my vampires,” Marcel said.

“I already tracked her,” Kol said.

“Where is she?”

“She’s by a warehouse,” Kol groaned.

“Why is it it’s always a warehouse. Can’t they just do it somewhere else,” Rebekah ranted as she walked out.

Marcel looked at the other siblings and sighed. He walked out as well, his vampires following behind him and the Mikaelson brothers as well.

“They’re gonna kill you,” you said, groaning in pain as a stake was by your heart, another stake was in your arm, another stake was in your leg, another in your back, and another in your abdomen. Your family was gonna be mad.

“I will like to see them try,” Damon smirked.

“They can. We have lived for centuries. We were the first vampires created. After all, I can tell Nik to kill, oh what’s that doppelganger’s name. Ah, Elena. Nik will kill her if you don’t get me out of here,” you smirked.

“He won’t touch her,” Damon growled in anger.

“Ugh you’re overprotective. Let Elena live a little Damon,” you said.

“Yeah like I’m gonna do that. After all your brother tried to kill her multiple times,” Damon said, sitting down.

'Reminds me of Marcel,’ You thought.

“Now do you love anybody?” Damon asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Now that is classified information,” you smirked, winking at him sarcastically.

“Where’s your brother, Damon? His name is Stefan right?” You asked.

“Leave him out of this!” Damon shouted before putting another stake on your arm.

“Jesus Christ how many stakes do you have?” You asked as you groaned.

“I have multiple and I have the white oak stake,” Damon said.

“Of course you would,” you groaned.

“Now maybe is the time that I can kill you with it,” Damon smiled sarcastically as he pulled out the white oak stake and dived it towards you.

It was almost close to your heart when you heard a bang by the door making Damon alert. He grabbed you, him behind and you in front as a shield.

In came your siblings, Marcel, and more vampires.

“Wow. Such a dramatic entrance,” Damon rolled his eyes.

“Leave her alone,” Marcel shouted.

“Oh are you the guy she loves? Huh. I thought originals didn’t love anybody because they were the cruelest and heartless monsters,” Damon retorted.

“Says the guys who didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings and killed their girlfriends brother. And made someone a vampire. And then killed their brothers best friend,” you said.

“Remember I won’t hesitate to kill you,” Damon glared at you.

“Or what?” You rolled your eyes.

“Or-,” Damon was cut off by a his neck snapping. Everybody looked behind him seeing none other than Stefan Salvatore.

“Sorry about him. He turned off his emotions and him doing this wasn’t right,” Stefan apologized, staring at Rebekah.

“He turned the switch off? I didn’t notice,” you said, Marcel and your siblings taking the stakes off of you.

“I’m seriously sorry,” Stefan apologized.

“Its fine. Not your fault,” you said, running to Marcel and hugging him. He kissed your forehead hugging you tightly to his chest.

You saw Rebekah looking at Stefan as he picked up the white oak stake.

“Here,” he said, passing the stake to her.

“Thanks,” Rebekah mumbled as their hands touched.

You looked at Marcel, smiling as you both saw how your sister was looking at Stefan.

You got out of Marcel’s grip, going to hug your older siblings.

“Well you look horrible little sister,” Kol said.

“Oh shut up Kol,” you chuckled.

“I’m glad you’re safe little sister,” Klaus smiled as he hugged you.

“I’m glad you’re not killing people right now Nik,” you joked as you hugged him as tight.

“Three days without you darling. It got very lonely,” Elijah smiled at you.

“Three days has it been?” You asked.

“Yes it has. I’m glad you’re fine,” Elijah said, his pearly whites showing as he grinned at you. You turned to look at all the familiar faces of the other vampires you hugged them all into a group hug.

“Where’s Rebekah?” Kol asked.

“She was here moments ago,” Klaus said.

“Guess she’s out having fun with the Salvatore,” you laughed, standing next to Marcel as he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“We just got you back and she goes out having fun with that boy? How dare she do that?” Kol asked.

“Its fine Kol. After all Becks needs to find love. Right Elijah?” You asked your noble brother.

“Right baby sister. Now Niklaus don’t kill Stefan,” Elijah said, glaring at Klaus.

“I would never brother,” Klaus smirked, shrugging in the process. You all rolled your eyes. Nothing but happy at this moment. Leaving the warehouse as you all walked home. Not before asking Marcel’s minions to chain Damon to a secret cell that was hidden in the warehouse.

Rebekah came next day with a smile on her face, her heels in one hand, and her hair ruffled in all places. You smiled at her and she did to you.

A lot of Christians die before they fulfill the will of God. That isn’t supposed to happen!!

Doesn’t the Bible say “no weapon formed against us shall prosper?” So when us Christians go to pray somewhere for someone and all of sudden someone holds us at gunpoint, we don’t have to die because of what the Bible says…

God told us that we have authority over evil. If someone holds a gun up to my face and tries to shoot me, I’m gonna command them to put the gun down in Jesus name and I know that they have to because there is power in the name Jesus. I feel like Churches don’t teach people about this type of stuff and a lot of Christians are dying because they don’t know about the authority they have in Christ Jesus.

I’m just tired of seeing Christians being killed by the enemy ya know? The enemy isn’t more powerful than God!

808 (Tom Holland)

Info: Reader [Auli’i] and Tom Holland have been dating for about a year and Tom goes to the Hawaiian Island of O’ahu to meet her family and all hell breaks lose. 

Warnings: Language, threats of violence

Notice: Some characters such as the character of Madea and Joe are based off of Tyler Perry’s Madea and Joe because I think they’re funny yet really scary. I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE BY THIS, BUT IF YOU ARE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! 

Auli’i had met Tom Holland when she got the Internship on the set of Civil War as a computer geek and helped out with the special effects for University. She had no clue that she would fall for the guy playing Spider-Man himself, Tom Holland. 

He had asked her out for coffee after a few weeks that she was there. She said yes, thinking it wouldn’t get that far, but she was wrong. That one coffee date turned into movie nights, dinner dates, and binge watching their favourite shows on Netflix. 

For the past three months, Tom had begged her to meet her family and after she was fed-up with his begging, she finally said ‘yes’. What also shocked her was that her niece, Chrissy, had gotten into contact with Tom on twitter through his DM’s telling him that her family wanted to meet the guy who had stolen Auli’i’s ‘stone-cold heart’. 

One thing that Auli’i had trouble telling Tom was that she didn’t have the most conventional childhood. She was left on the doorstep of the people she now calls her Grandfather Keanu and Auntie Madea, who were already raising two baby boys named Kevin and Akea, with only a note pleading with them to take good care of her. Keanu and Madea had to fill out Auli’i’i’s birth certificate and even name her. She was teased about this fact in school. Mother’s day and Father’s day were especially rough. She didn’t even know where to start looking for her parents, for all Auli’i knew, they could be dead, or have a family and want nothing to do with her. 

Now, they were on a plane to Honolulu International Airport, then the two would get a rental car and drive to Nānākuli, Auli’i’s hometown, which wasn’t the safest place in the world to live or grow-up because of all the gang violence and activity that happened. There was also a meth problem. 

After making it through customs and somehow managing to not have Tom get nagged by fangirls, the got their rental car and started their hour long drive. Tom was in awe at the scenery.

“This place is beautiful? Why did you leave again?” Tom asked. 

“University.” Auli’i stated. “And to get away from the Islands. It wasn’t until I actually left for University that I left the state of Hawai’i.” 

“I’m so nervous about meeting your family.” Tom stated. 

“I’m nervous about how they’re gonna react. They can be a bit blunt and well, I’m a bit nervous about Madea.” Auli’i admitted to Tom. 

“Why are you nervous about Madea?” asked Tom. He was genuinely curious. 

“She’s known around the Islands as a pain in the ass. She has anger management issues and even though the court ordered her to go to counseling and she still hasn’t gone to counseling. 

 "Why not?“ Tom asked. 

 "If I knew, I would be rich enough to pay-off my student loans.” Auli'i responded. Tom nodded his head. Soon, the two arrived at Auli’i’s childhood home. It was just as she remembered. Brown, tiny, the windows boarded so nobody would break into the house and steal the little stuff her, Keanu, Madea, and her cousins/practically siblings Akea and Kevin actually owned, which wasn’t much. She grew-up poor and only managed to go to Uni on a full-ride, having graduated the top of her class in one of the most dangerous schools in Hawai’i. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Tom gulped. 

Auli’i took a deep breath and pushed some hair out of her face, she turned to her boyfriend. “Are you ready to go in and meet them?” She asked. 

“As I’ll ever be.” Tom sighed. Auli’i nodded her head and the two got out of the crappy rental car. Auli’i and Tom arrived at the front door, and the door swung open to reveal her 6′8′’ tall, 300lbs muscly, dark-skinned cousins Akea and Kevin. 

“Hey! You’re the dude who’s dating my cousin. Nice to meet you. HEY, AULI’I’S DATING A WHITE GUY!” 

“Oh, my God.” Auli’i muttered. “I’m so sorry, Tom. I-I-I…” 

“SHE’S DATING A WHITE PERSON!” A voice roared. “NO WAY IN HELL!” A bunch of people  


“I wanna meet this white dude.” A voice stated. “See if he’s actually got dat muscle.” 

“Oh, shit.” Auli’i muttered. 

“Come in.” An old man with grey hair that had once been black, dark skin, a Semper-Fi tattoo, glasses, and kind brown eyes. “I’m so sorry about them, they’re just excited that Auli’i was actually dating someone. She was never one to open up to people, ever since she was a girl. I’m Keanu by the way, Auli’i’s grandfather.” 

“Nice to meet you, Keanu.” Tom smiled. The two shook hands and Tom was welcomed into the tiny shack that five people once lived in. 

“To be honest, we all thought she was a-romantic, and we would’ve accepted her because she’s family and that’s what we do.” said a voice, it was her Uncle James. “Want a beer? You’re gonna need it if you’s gonna deal with Madea Aukai-Ka’anā’anā.” 

“Sure.” Tom smiled. He took a can and took a sip. “This isn’t helping and thank you, what’s your name?” 

“James Qin.” He responded. 

“Where’s the Haole?” Madea cried. She was dressed in one of her hideaus floral dresses that Auli’i, Kevin, and Akea always shuttered at. Nobody knew why she wore them, they looked awful on her. Her grey hair hadn’t grown a bit since the last time Auli’i saw her and her pearly white teeth were shining in the dim light of the shack and her bifocals on her face. “Oh, my God, Auli’i really is datin’ a white dude. I never thought I’d see her with a guy. I thought she was lesbian. I still would’ve loved her.” 

“I really didn’t do much dating in high school.” Auli’i stated. “I didn’t really like the whole scene. It was just unneeded stress. I bascially spent my free-time at the library studying or at the beach.” 

“Okay, now you listen here, Haole, you hurt Auli’i, and I casterate you. I ain’t afraid to go back to da slammah. I’ve seen it all.” 

“MADEA, PLEASE!” Auli’i pleaded. 

“I’ve got da po-po runnin’ from me…” 


“SHUT UP, JOE!” Madea hollered. She then saw Auli’i drinking a bottle of beer. “Auli’i, dear, please try not to get waisted. You’s a drivin’ back to da hotel.” 


“I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.” She muttered. 

“Hey, Auli’i, can we have a minute with your boyfriend?” asked Kevin. 

“C’mon, LiLi.” Chrissy smiled. “Let’s go get something to eat and watch the waves and talk about shit going on in the world.” Chrissy steered her Aunt out of the house. 

“This was such a bad idea.” Auli’i stated, her voice filled with terror. 

“It’s all gonna be okay, did his family do this to you when you met them?” asked Chrissy. 

“I haven’t met his family.” Auli’i responded. 

“Okay. Did you see what Donald Trump tweeted this morning…” The younger girl’s voice trailed off. Tom was now alone with a bunch of strangers who swore and were always yelling at each other. 

“So, what’s your name, Kid?” asked Keanu. 

“Tom Holland.” Tom blurted. 

“Haole’s scared.” Kevin laughed. “Good.” 

Then they five of them heard. “Auntie Auli’i, look what Uncle Joe taught me.” 

“DON’T DO THAT!” Auli’i cried. “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!” 

“Jesus Christ, Joe. Imma kill him later.” 

“Good. We’re not helping you bury the body.” Akea responded. 

“What’s your proffession?” asked Madea. 


“Any films we might’ve known.” 

“Um, I play Spider-Man in the MCU.” Tom blurted. 

“I knew you looked familiar.” Kevin chuckled. “I saw you in Civil War. Good job by the way.” He patted him on the back. 

“Thanks.” Tom stated. Maybe this could go somewhere not so scary. 

“What’re your intentions towards LiLi?” Madea asked. “I wanna know, Haole.” 

“She’s the prettiest, smartest, and most respectful girl I could know. She’s way out of my league and I don’t know why she would ever fall for a guy like me. She got into Stanford on a four-year scholarship, she’s graduating at the top of her class just like she did in high school. She’s also the kindest person I know and I can really see myself starting a family with her. I’ve seen the way she is with kids.” 

The four family members exchanged eye contact. “You seem like a nice guy, Holland.” Keanu said. “You hurt her and Madea’s not afraid to go back to jail.” 

“I know, sir. I honestly don’t think I ever could hurt her. I love her too much.” Tom admitted. 

Madea stuck her head out the window, where Auli’i was reading a story to a bunch of little kids. “HEY, THE HAOLE’S A NICE GUY, DON’T SCARE HIM OFF!” 

“SPIDER-MAN!” A voice cried. 

“You wanna go meet, Spider-Man, Akamai? I’ll take you to him.” Auli’i smiled. The boy looked up at Auli’i in awe. Auli’i got up off the log and walked straight towards Tom smiling.Tom chuckled. He certainly could see himself starting a family with her. 

last christmas party

after nearly a year together, you find yourself jealous because harry never informed you of his history with a certain someone.

warning: there’s the tiniest bit of smut at the end.

“Love? You ready to go?” Harry walked into the threshold of our bedroom just as I was finishing applying my lipstick and then I turned to look at him. He whistled and blood rushed to my cheeks, “Look at you.” He said, his voice low as he walked towards me.

I smiled, “Me? Please, look at you.” I teased, pulling him by the lapels as he got closer.

His hands ran up and down my bare arms, “Don’t you have a sweater? S'gonna be cold tonight.”

“Who needs a sweater when I have you?” I teased and bopped his nose with my finger and he scrunched up his face in protest.

“Seriously, love, you’re going to get sick if you don’t put something on.” He said as I walked past him to get my shoes.

“I have a coat.” I saw him notice my bare legs under my dress as I put on my ankle boots. “Harry, I’m fine. Promise. The alcohol will keep me warm when you’re unavailable.” I smiled at him and he smiled back uneasily but stayed quiet, knowing I would kick him out of our flat before letting him tell me how to dress. “Besides, if I get sick that’s just an excuse to have you wait on my every beck and call as I stay in bed.”

That got him really smiling, his dimples showing, “Ah, so the masterplan is revealed.”

Keep reading

Your Savior - 23

Thank you all so much for patiently waiting for this chapter! I’ve been working a lot and am back to school, so finding balance has been hard! Also, a huge shout-out to my new followers, especially the handful that marathon read this fic and then begged me for more! You have no idea how good it feels to see all of the notifications on my phone as you read and like this story. I love you all!

Chapter 23


Negan being Negan, swearing, minor gore, threat of violence

Originally posted by negandarylsatisfaction

You returned to your dorms in a daze, not quite sure how you had gotten there. It was still very early in the day, but you weren’t allowed to go back to training and there wasn’t really anywhere else you wanted to be. At this time of day the dorms were empty, so you made your way to your cot and sat down to enjoy the rare silence.

When everything had first gone to hell you had been alone for almost a year. The short time with your other group had been a blessing before you had been separated and thrown into solitude again. Adjusting to the noise and hustle and bustle at The Sanctuary had been difficult, and today of all days you were thankful for a chance to sit alone.

Keep reading

Just one of those days - Jughead x Reader

Request: An angsty story line where Cheryl bullies Reader and Jughead is there for her

Warnings: Bullying? Maybe some words that are considered swears? Also some hints towards depression

Word count: 1698

A/N: I will be getting to everyones requests so don’t worry if I haven’t done yours yet I will do it as soon as possible :) Also when something is written like in between these things ‘ ‘ and in italics it’s the persons thoughts :)

“What’s the problem today Wednesday Addams?” You heard the voice that had taunted you everyday since you first started at Riverdale High, Cheryl Blossom, you never understood why she hated you, but she would tease you and make you feel utterly shitty about yourself. You decided to ignore her and continue walking, knowing there was nothing you could do to retaliate or stop her from her quest to make your life absolutely miserable. “Don’t listen to her, Y/N” you heard from behind you, you turned to see Jughead, he was your best friend who you live with  in a small apartment, “Never do, Juggie” you looked up at him, you started to form a smile, although fake, it was effective and no one seemed to be able to tell the difference. Jughead Jones was the only person that could actually bring a real smile out of you, although he would never know it.

Keep reading

I Was Happier With You Ch.2 (Trixya)- Doll Parts

A/N: I’m baaack. I would have updated sooner but long story short, someone gave me a stomach bug halfway through my Cinco De Mayo shift at work this past week. As always thanks a bunch to my Beta, Andi<3

If you like the story, go ahead and like or comment cause I need positive affirmation lol

This chapter is all about Katya, look forward to having Trixie back in the next!

Keep reading

     ❝ Yeah, but – alright, that’s still your own fault, though. You still owe me.  A disgruntled expression appears, directed toward the ceiling as a phone is placed upon his ear. If he wasn’t so relaxed – resting upon a taller man’s lap, his head pillowed quite comfortably against his knee as the sounds of a television blared in the background, he might perhaps be even more perturbed. But this sort of thing came with the territory of being an investor. Particularly one who remained steadfastly loyal to the company he’d pledged himself to ( if secretly; it isn’t as though he can allow such things to be taken advantage of. )

       Uh huh. No, I’m not giving you an extension. What do you mean why? Nn – y – what? You’ve had this contract signed for four months. Absolutely not. It’s due by Friday or the deal’s off. Good day.  Slight movement it takes for the line to go dead on his end, while he reaches to pinch the bridge of his nose and focus golden eyes aside, a silent plead for some sort of comfort in the face of his frustration.  Help.  


Overwatch Shipping Appreciation

Roadrat: Gimme dat cute smol and big tol

Mercy76: Gimme granpappy and grandma darlin’ dearest being cute af

Reaper76: Gimme dat delish angst and daddy duo

MercyKill: Gimme dat ultimate level: death blossom from above angst (holy guacamole the angst is too real with this ship)

McHanzo: Gimme dat Mr. Rodeo man who lives off of cheesy puns and memes in love with Mr. Dark, Broody and Serious shit

McGenji: Gimme dat cowboy cyborg ninja love

Genyatta: Gimme dat teacher/student bonding time (and not the friendly type huehuehue)

McReaper: Ditto, but probably with a lot more hate sex involved idk

McMercy: Gimme dat cheerful cowboy brightens doctor’s day (in more ways than one ohohoho)

Widowtracer: Gimme dat epic rivals with unresolved sexual tension

Meihem: Gimme dat freezer with literal combustible oven lovey dovey junk

Junkmetra: Gimme dat opposites attract and balance each other out while both being adorable loveliness

Pharmercy: Gimme dat witty ship name and awesome dynamic, gives me LIFE

ZaryaMei: Gimme dat cute smol and big tol (femslash version)

Gency: Gimme dat “you keep saving my life and I like that shit” (plus your face)

Mercymaker: Gimme dat doctor loves spider who may kill people for actual fun but she’s like idgaf love ya babe

Symmpharah (holy Christ did I even spell that right??? Forgive me!): Gimme dat ORDER SUPREME (with a side of JUSTICE)

Bunnyribbit: Gimme dat hippity hop “Yo, I love your bunny top” (and you, highkey tbh) pureness

Boombox: Gimme dat Say Anything romance (but with much more explosions)

Highboom: Gimme dat “Jfc I’m too fuckin’ slow to get out of the way of your High Noon bullshit and–well, fuck now I’m dead. But I love ya anyway, mate.”

Anahardt: Gimme dat old couple adopts a bunch of misfits and freaks and absolutely LOVES and takes care of them all

All ships not listed above bc I’m just doing stuff off the top of my head: Gimme dat–

In other words, whatever ship you’re sailing, whatever headcannons you have, I support it. You do you, fam. Let’s end these ridiculous shipping wars now, yeah?
Say You'll Want Me Pt. 1

Originally posted by godzillawillsaveus

I was going to wait a little while to post this but it’s happening early. It might take me a little while to post the next part because I’m working on another story right now but I will get back to regular updates soon <3 THANK YOU to @daintymissdevitt you have been such a huge part of this story and I feel like it’s as much yours as it is mine at this point lol <3

***This is a sequel story so if you haven’t read the Say You’ll Haunt Me Series yet, you can find it HERE.

Author’s Note: For anyone interested, two songs really inspired this. Good Charlotte - Ghost of You and Starset - Ricochet.

Tags: @iloveenzoamore @ang-78 @legitlunatic @fan-fiction-galore @imaginingwwesuperstars @silverrawrs @tooweirdforlifex @darwarsnoam @alexispoo @shadow-of-wonder @mindsetcalamity @amaranthine-reign @omgmissmillie @skyrina @lifeoutofcontrol @laigy2213 @bulletbaybay @thedeboniardevistation @grungegirlmo @doitwithcole @helluvawriter @allgirlswrestlingclub @sarahmatthews7 @waynscastle @jazzytoosweet @mermaidfett @laziestgirlintheworld @alexahood21 @thathpchick @valeonmars @xxmaddhatter39xx @mrlooch @laochbaineann @fearlessflawlessdior @jenn0755 @wrasslin-x @megan-monroe @brooklyns-scumbag @phlebotomyprincess1 @rollinstrash @squirrel666 @effy-christine @wweximaginesxd @pjanina13

I tagged everyone from the first story and anyone who asked to be put on the forever tag list. I hope I got everyone! Please let me know if I left you off or if you want to be added <3

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Post the second part of Dinner With Parents please omg

Ask and you shall receive 

Lauren hopped out of the car and started walking to open Camila’s door. The little bullet felt awkward, but she was totally whipped and there really wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for her girlfriend.

She opened the door and Camilla smiled, pressing the lowest setting on the vibrator. Lauren had to grab onto the car, afraid of falling because of the immense pleasure she felt.

“Every time you do something cute or romantic, proving to my parents that you are in fact an amazing girlfriend, I will reward you,” Camila husked into her ear. Lauren nodded, moaning. The vibrations on her clit were driving her insane. It wasn’t quite enough to push her over the edge, and Camila knew that. Oh how she knew that.

Lauren walked to the front door as best as she could with the throbbing between her thighs.  "You’re not allowed to cum,“ Camila whispered, right before her mother opened the door. Lauren groaned in response, quite loud.

“Hija hello! How are you? And Lauren are you alright?” Camila’s mom asked, referring to her groan.

Camila refused to shut the vibrator off, giving Lauren constant pleasure. “I-I’m fine, you just look really beautiful and I see where Camila got her looks from and- I’m rambling, I’m going to stop.”

Sinu laughed, stepping out of the way of the door. “Come in, come in! Dinner is ready!”

“You have a lovely home Mrs. Cabello,” Lauren commented, almost out of breath.

“Why thank you dear, that’s really sweet of you.”

Camila smiled again, before uping the speed of the vibrations. “Oh my god!” Lauren yelled out, causing Sinu to turn around. “Oh, uhm, lady problems. Do you think you could show me to the bathroom, Camz?” Lauren instantly cringed. That was possibly the worst excuse she could have came up with.

“Follow me Lauren, it’s right down this hall,” Sinu said, turning around. Lauren slightly pouted, she had wanted Camila to show her, that way she could possibly get some relief. As she was walking into the bathroom, her phone went off.

C: Don’t you dare take it out.

When she finished reading the message, she looked up to see Camila press the lowest setting on the remote, leaving the vibrations going, but not nearly enough to cum.

C: Don’t think about fucking yourself either. You have two minutes before I come in and get you.

Lauren looked up from her phone again and nodded before walking into the bathroom, thanking Sinu before closing the door.

The black haired girl rested her hand on the sink and held herself there, taking in the vibrations. “Fuck,” she muttered under her breath. It felt good, amazing even. But she was ready to cum. Knowing Camila, that wouldn’t be happening for a long time.

She slipped one hand down her pants and whimpered. The amount of wetness that met her fingers turned her on even more. Lauren bit back a moan as she applied pressure to the little bullet that was resting against her clit.

Before she could slip a finger or two into herself, Camila barged into the bathroom and pulled her hand out of her pants. “I knew you wouldn’t listen to me,” she whispered hotly into Lauren’s ear.

“No, no babe, I was just adjusting it. I promise please don’t punish me,” Lauren gasped, not missing the vibrations pick up speed. Camila shoved her against the door, closing it with a slam. Neither of them really cared that Camila’s parents were in the other room.

“I should put it on the third setting and make you sit through dinner almost cumming in your pants. Or, I could leave it on the first setting and watch as you hump the dining room chair in an attempt to get yourself off. But of course we both know you like to be filled and that won’t be enough. By the time we get home tonight, your pants are going to be soaked through,” Camila nibbled at Lauren’s ear, earning a moan from the older girl.

“Please Camz, just fuck me. I can’t take it anymore,” Lauren pleaded. “I’ll do anything you want, please just fuck me.”

Camila turned the vibrator off before pulling it out and setting it on the sink. Lauren just stood there, her whole body leaning up against the door. Her legs were like jelly and she hadn’t even came yet. “How do you want me to fuck you, Lauren? Camila asked, unbuttoning her jeans while sinking down to her knees.

“I-I-I can’t,” she replied, if you fuck me I’m going to fall.” Lauren quickly removed the bottom half of her clothing (it was’t that quick considering the fact she couldn’t move her legs well) and climbed on top of the counter. “Now you can fuck me.”

“Who are you to tell me when I can and can not fuck you,” Camila darkly murmured into Lauren’s ear.

“No one, I’m sorry. Fuck me when you want to. But please make it soon, Camz.” Lauren cried out, wrapping her arms around Camila’s neck to pull her closer.

Camila licked her lips before raking her nails down Lauren’s pale thighs. She could see her wetness glistening and it turned her on to no extent. “You’re so wet, Laur. Is it all for me?” She asked, running her fingers through her velvety folds. They were instantly coated in Lauren’s juices.

“All for you, Camz,” Lauren moaned, throwing her head back. “Please just fuck me.”

“I don’t know if I should,” Camila smirked, tracing Lauren’s stiff and swollen clit with her fingers. “Teasing you is so much fun.”

“Please Camila! Fuck me with your long slender fingers until I’m screaming your name so fucking loud that your parents think you’re actually killing me.”

Camila moaned, wasting no more time and thrusting two fingers into Lauren’s tight heat. “Fucking christ,” Lauren moaned biting her lip so hard that she was almost positive it was bleeding.

Camila curled her fingers deep inside her girlfriend, making her back arch. She set a smooth rhythm, sliding her fingers out, in, out, in, curling, out, and back in. Lauren’s wetness made it so much easier for her perfectly manicured fingers to make their way in and out of her.

“I’m so close to cumming,” Lauren moaned. “Please don’t stop.” Camila kept thrusting her fingers, slipping in a third as she reached across the counter to grab the mini vibrator and the remote. She hit the highest speed and attached it to Lauren’s clit. The black haired girl cried out in pleasure as she felt the vibrations against her swollen bud.

She could feel Lauren clenching and unclenching around her three fingers. “Fucking hell, you feel so good, Camz, I love when you fuck me like this.” The vibrations to her clit and the pressure of Camila’s fingers gently rubbing her G-spot sent Lauren over the edge quickly. She came with a loud moan of Camila’s name, not really caring how loud she was being.

They both stayed there, breathlessly, until there was a knock at the door. “Camila, Lauren, we need to have a little talk when you get yourselves cleaned up.” It was Sinu. Lauren felt her face get hot and she looked to Camila, who face was just as red.

“I’m sorry I’m so loud,” Lauren apologized, nibbling on her bottom lip. She was the one who had gotten them caught.

“It’s alright babe, I wouldn’t want that any other way,” Camila smiled, before bringing their lips together in a quick passionate kiss. “I love you, even if we did get caught because of you.”

“I love you too.”

"Little Shop of Horrors" sentence starters
  • "Feed me."
  • "What a creepy thing to be happening."
  • "Why this whole thing strikes me as funny, I don't know..."
  • "There must be someone you can 86, real quiet-like."
  • "Here I come for you!"
  • "Don't tell me - you got a little tied up."
  • "I need blood, and s/he's got more than enough."
  • "[Name] is not a healthy girl/boy."
  • "If I can move and talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?"
  • "I am flyin' now!"
  • "I think I need a root canal."
  • "Bear in mind, I'm not immortal!"
  • "It really is a rotten way to go!"
  • "What we have here is an ethical dilemma..."
  • "No thief would look in there, right?"
  • "The mask - it's stuck. I can't get it off!"
  • "It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle."
  • "[Name], I don't think you understand..."
  • "I'll make it worth your while."
  • "If we fight it, we've still got a chance."
  • "Jesus Christ, I could asphyxiate in here."
  • "The guy sure looks like plant food to me."
  • "All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house."
  • "Am I dreaming this?"
  • "[Name], that's thousands of dollars! Where is it?"
  • "It's the one gift I can give you."
  • "In a way, we'll always be together."
  • "Something is very wrong here."
  • "Can you hold, please?"
  • "Christ, what a frickin' scatterbrain!"
  • "Depression's just status quo."
  • "Relax. It'll be easier that way."
  • "I keep asking God what I'm for, and he tells me, 'Gee, I'm not sure.'"
  • "Just go with it, doll!"
  • "Well, get your ass in here!"
  • "I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!"
  • "It's your professionalism I respect."
  • "Oh, [name], you're the most wonderful person that ever lived."
  • "No shit, Sherlock!"
  • "I couldn't sleep."
  • "I liked you from the day I came to work here."
  • "All my life I've always been poor."
  • "[Name], sweetheart, what's been going on?"
  • "You're a monster - and so am I!"
  • "You mean you'd still like me, even if I wasn't famous?"
  • "What'd I ever do to you?"
  • "I need some water in the worst way."
  • "It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this anymore."
  • "You kids should be in school!"
  • "How do you intend to better yourself?"
  • "She deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him!"
  • "Daddy left early. Mama was poor."
  • "I'm feeling strangely happy now..."
  • "I tried to be on time, but..."
  • "[Name]'s first radio broadcast!"
  • "Are you dumb? Or hard of hearing?"
  • "It's what you did to her."
  • "I've done terrible things, [name], but not to you. Never to you."
  • "Come with me to the police and tell them that."
  • "You remember that total eclipse of the sun a week ago?"
  • "Get a move on, you little slut!"
  • "I don't like that guy, [name]."
  • "With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than hula-hoops."
  • "It talks."
  • "Believe it, baby!"
  • "I'd meet a man and follow him blindly."
  • "You should hear the way he talks to [name]!"
  • "Don't die, [name]. I need you. Please, please, don't die..."
  • "I don't know. I have so many strong reservations me..."
  • "You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?"
  • "You watch your language!"
  • "What the hell's that? A gun?"
  • "Look out!"
  • "It's true. I did it."
  • "Lots of folks deserve to die!"
  • "That's disgusting."
  • "What am I supposed to do? Kill people?"
  • "I'll take it straight."
  • "Do we have a deal?"
  • "That's not a very nice thing to say!"
  • "Don't feed the plants."

omg why have I never seen this sketch before?!?!?!?!!? I love this! And I honestly think Kate almost breaks character at one point. 

Besides, I don’t what it is about Kate saying her own name, but it almost killed me, as well as Cecily saying ‘Kate’ about a million times. Just leave me here to die, okay? 


i need….. shep with kids. IMAGINE how many children, human and krogan and turian alike, are named after her. on one hand i could TOTALLY imagine shep being amazingly capable with kids, but a larger part of me knows deep in my soul she would have NO IDEA how to handle these little twerps. 

someone asks for a picture and hands her their baby, and shep is like “oh good christ where do i put my hands??? babies are so much more fragile than i remember– i’ve killed husks stronger than this with my bare hands good god-”
the lady snaps the picture, and the final product is a picture of shep looking absolutely TERRIFIED with this harmless little infant in her arms. 

garrus, however, is wonderful with children. Even the human ones, the charming bastard. he maintains a perfect photogenic grace while holding the kid, and despite having horrible facial scarring on half his face and turian features so spiky he could scare a dog to death, the child LOVES him.