A Flawless Defense of Hillary and her E-Mail:

CHRIS HAYES: The e-mails we got today, as bad as Watergate or worse than Watergate? Your thoughts?

JAMES CARVILLE: My question is, will this rise to the level of scandal as the White House Christmas card list back in the ‘90s that had 140 hours of sworn testimony. This is the great gefilte fish day.

HAYES: I – wait a second, we were doing a series, at some point, of Hillary Clinton for millennials about the sort of various faux Clinton scandals. I had forgotten the Christmas card list. Which one was that?

CARVILLE: I just was reminded, as they came on the air, that there was 140 – the Clintons sent out Christmas cards to supporters and friends, and that Congress spent 140 hours of sworn testimony. I don’t know how much people had to pay in legal fees, and God knows whatnot, but that ranks up there at the top. And the question is, will this e-mail scandal rise to that level? And so far, today, it looks like it probably won’t. It’s kind of petering out every day.

HAYES: Okay, you – the reference to Christmas cards brings up the fact that for several decades in American life, whatever Bill and Hillary Clinton have done has been followed by ceaseless accusations of wrongdoing, malfeasance, corruption, coverup, deception, scandal, illegality et cetera. And the big central question is, is this because of their enemies or is it because of something they do? Is it really your position that it’s 100 percent their enemies that we find ourselves in these situations?

CARVILLE: 100 percent, maybe 97.2 percent. I don’t know. I think that the Clintons basically are better people than their enemies. Look at their number one enemy, Ken Star, who is, you know, now has a hell of a problem with rape down there, Baylor or whoever he is. You know, he used to be a cigarette lawyer. And he was the great icon of the Washington establishment.

Well, we kind of know about that. Bill Clinton is going to be probably one of the most successful post-war presidents, I guess, the third, second most popular human being on the planet now. And we go through these things all of the time. And of course the New York Times and the Washington Post and the cocktail party, the dinner party crowd, they get all out of breath and screaming and yelling at each other and it turns out to be nothing. 

Whatever happened to Benghazi? Which was, you know – I haven’t heard that word in I don’t know how long.

HAYES: Yeah, that was something that got tremendous amounts of congressional investigation, there’s Trey Gowdy’s committee. Ultimately, I think, every iteration of investigation has said that there were genuine security failures and a horrible tragedy and basically that is it.

CARVILLE: And Admiral Mullen and Ambassador Pickering said that right away. We haven’t learned a single new thing. You know, in the entire Bill Clinton administration in eight years, one person was ever convicted of anything, and I think it was a deputy, a chief of staff or secretary of agriculture and it involved Super Bowl tickets. And that’s all that they have at the end of the day.

But it’s not going to stop them from taking. Trey Gowdy, who is a tool of the Koch Brothers, just feeds the New York Times stuff and they put it in the paper, just like the neocons fed the New York Times a bunch of bunk that they put on the front page of the paper basically helped start is a war. 

You would think that at some point people who are supposed to know better would learn their lesson. But they never do, and so therefore, I have to keep coming out of retirement to point this kind of stuff out.

Caption: The Clintons laughing at yet another GOP witch-hunt. 

Does the e-mail scandal compare to the White House Christmas card list in the 1990s that had 140 hours of sworn testimony? 

the one with the phone call

So I wrote this, and then realised that I did not specify which of the delicious Chris’ this story is about. I’m going to leave that up to you ;)

“One more month?” I whinged as my stomach dropped at the news.

Of course Chris was going to be away for longer - it was always the way. One minute he was flying home on the next flight, and then he was called back to re-shoot scenes. All the while I was stuck at home, watering the plants and collecting the bills. 

“I’m sorry sweet-thing, really I am. I mean… I want to come home - I want to see you, but they need me here..” He paused, obviously trying to word his sentence right. He knew that this topic was a sticky topic. 

Collapsing on the bed, I closed my eyes, waiting for him to continue. Through the phone I heard a door close, followed by what sounded like a lock.
He continued, "anyway, as I was saying, you know that I miss you. Damn I miss you. I think about you you every single day, it kills me not to have you here"
“It is killing me too honey. Do you know how lonely I am? It’s getting colder at night, and I’m alone…” I smirked, deciding that I’d have some fun, now that I was forced to wait another month.

“I’m alone too, ya know” He retorted, huffing. I assumed he sat down or was lying down. I knew that he was in the same mood that I was. 

“I really miss you” I murmured, my eyes fluttering close as i drew circles on my exposed skin just above my waist. “You have no clue how hard it is to be without you for this long”.

“I do” Chris promptly replies, his words slow. “It’s almost impossible for me to even get through an afternoon without getting hard” He paused, laughing. “Seriously, I’m desperate for you”

I let out a deep breath, shaky from my excitement. I knew this was one of Chris’ weaknesses; he loved it when I let my warm breath fan down his throat - goose bumps forming with the simple change of temperature. 

“Being without you is almost impossible,” I almost moaned, controlling myself enough to keep my voice low and relatively even. Slowly, I moved the phone close to my denim shorts, allowing my other hand to unzip them. Bringing the phone back to my ear, I waited for his reaction. 

“W-was that a zipper?” He mumbled. I could see him now; laying on his bed, phone in hand, already hard from being so worked up. 

“mmhmm,” I mumbled, sighing as I kicked them off my legs. “I was wearing your favorites. The tight denim shorts, you remember?”

“Ugh” I heard him groan. Smirking, I knew that the vague sound of his zip was only the beginning.

I continued me tease, “and those black lace panties that you like. The ones from the matching set you got me for valentines’ day last year.”

“Please…” he paused. 

“But they are coming off soon, anyway…” I said, biting my lip as I heard a moan almost straight back.

“What are you doing to me, sweet-thing?” Chris questioned, his accent thick as he spoke.

“Doing what?” I smiled. “I’m just bored and lonely… and also a little wet." 

"Ugh, girl you are killing me" 

"Grab it, Chris. C'mon you know you want to.” I encouraged, my finger slightly dancing above my core - I was longing to be touched. I could tell that this was going to happen just too quickly, but i couldn’t wait. 

His deep breathe that followed was an indicator that he followed my instructions. 

“Slow at first, like how I do it, yeah?” I questioned. “Start from the bottom and slowly, make your way up and back down. Imagine it was me. You know I wish I was there - I’d probably be licking the you from the tip all the way down, taking you in slowly.”

A low groan traveled through the phone and could feel myself growing wetter at the thought of what my man would look like. His cock in one hand and the phone in the other. A vein on the side of his neck straining as he grew closer to his finish. 

Sighing I let my hand travel to my clit. 
“Uh uh”, I heard and my finger stopped automatically. “Did I say you could touch yourself?”

I pouted, “Don’t be mean Chris, don’t do that”. 

“Let me finish then you can have me all to yourself,” Clearly, he knew I was in control and wanted to gain some himself.

“Oh, Chris, do you know how wet I am?” I questioned, knowing that every little thing I told him drove him closer and closer to the edge. “It’s almost impossible to hear you and not do anything.”

“oh fuck” he groaned, his voice deep. I could hear his hand pumping, dictating the pace of his of his words. “Damn your teasing, sweet-thing. You’re not as innocent as you look, are you, my dirty little sweet thing?” Chris knew the effect dirty talk had on me, especially in his Boston accent.

“Me? Teasing?” I smirked. His breathing was telling me how far along he was. “I’d never tease you honey. I’m not lying, I am soaking and it’s all because of you.”

Shaky breaths traveled down the phone line, “Go faster now” I mumbled, closing my eyes to picture him. “Let yourself go as fast as you want. As fast as you need. Imagine me, licking you up and down, your hands in my hair - oh god you know how i like it when your rough with me.”

It was true. Chris didn’t like to be overly rough with me, I always urged him to. Though he was usually rough with me when i gave him head; his hands always traveled to my hair, he’d pull and push until he came in my mouth; he wouldn’t move until I swallowed every last drop. 

Chris moaned, “you are close, aren’t you?” My turn was soon.

“Moan for me real quick” He demanded. “Shove two fingers inside of yourself, and moan for me, my name, moan my name.”

Not hesitating, i pushed two fingers into my core, my mind in overdrive as i yelped at the sudden contact. “Chris ugh” I moaned, letting my voice rise as i head is breaths coming out in quick puffs.

“Rub your clit” He directed, his voice low and accent thick. 

I felt myself losing control over the phone, my hand slipping as i pushed into myself, my walls contracting around my fingers. 

“Chris please. I need you to fuck me. You know I love it when you’re rough and dirty with me, i need you honey.” I groaned, knowing it turned him on when i begged. 

“Don’t worry.. when I get back, you my dirty little…” He paused, and i knew he was coming. Hearing a grunt, I continued to moan into the phone as profanities flowed through the phone. 

I kept pushing, feeling myself reaching my end after Chris. “Come on baby” He murmured. “Fuck, you should see how much i just came…” He paused, “I know if i was with you, you’d clean me up. Wouldn’t you sweet-thing?”

Crying out, I could feel myself about to cum. He knew I loved it when he called me by my pet name. His accent is something that I could never truly get over. 

“Come on, sweet-thing, let yourself go”

Moaning I felt myself slowly releasing around my fingers, my juices making their way down my knuckles. I called out Chris’ name, my eyes fluttering shut as I came down from my high.

“Lick your fingers.” He said, confidently. Pulling them out of my core, I placed them in my mouth.

“I’d rather be tasting you.” I said, my body turning to the side as I watched the sunset outside my window, “I really do miss you, though”