chris wolstenholme

Person: Hey what’s up

Me: MUSE 👌🔥💫 are in the studio 🎤🎹🎼 NEW song 🎧😭🎵 coming #soon 👄👏 ALIENS 👽🚀 your ass 🍑 belongs to me now 💁 Matt Bellamy 🐑😱🍌 Dom Howard 😎💃👑 Chris Wolstenholme 🐶😇⚽ RIFFS 🎸 the government 👀🔎📝WILL NOT CONTROL US 💪🗽 kill 🔪💣🔫 the drones ✈🚁 I caught 🎣 a PWOPER fish 🐟🐠🐡 1984 👀 they are watching you 😓 more drones 🙅 SIT THE FUCK DOWN 👓

Muse Gothic
  • You cut a slice of bread. Dominic Howard’s face is staring at you.
  • The aliens are coming. Late at night you can hear the sound of their spaceships. Matt Bellamy warned you about this. The zetas are filling the skies.
  • Someone asks what Muse’s genre is. You laugh and shrug. You will never know. No one ever will.
  • “Sit down”, the teacher says. Your brain becomes an endless loop of Dominic Howard shouting “Sit the fuck down”. You turn around. Matt Bellamy is behind you, laughing hysterically.
  • You’re at the Muse concert, clapping your hands. How did you get here? You feel like you just dropped from the sky. You look up. The drones are there.
  • Someone is following you on the street. You turn around. It’s Matt Bellamy. “Y’know 1984?,” he asks.
  • A friend asks you about Disney on Ice. “It’s like Disney, but on ice,” you explain. What does that even mean? You’re dead inside.