chris this is why you can't leave the house

anonymous asked:

I can't wait for Chris Evans to be at Sebastian's house and pick up the coffee table book and then lo and behold it's a meticulously maintained collage of Seb and Mackie together with pictures and fan gifts and Sebastian is like "oh no, did I leave that out again? it's not even done yet, I'm so embarrassed you saw it like this"

Chris looks up, only to see a menacing grin on Sebastian’s face. “Why have you done this?”

Sebastian leans over until they’re eye to eye and horror movie music starts playing out of nowhere. “Because, Christopher, one day it’ll just be Sam and Bucky. Sharing the shield. Laughing at each other’s jokes. Trading banter. Saving each other’s lives. Steve Rogers will be nothing but a fanservice cameo, and I will have officially secured my rightful place as Mackie’s favorite white man.” He presses a finger to Chris’s chest. “And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Anthony walks into the room with a six pack of beers. “Hey guys!… Why are y’all listening to the soundtrack of The Shining?… Chris, why do you look like you’re shitting your pants?”