chris dant

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More photos taken on the set of The Case of the Gilded Lily by our photographer, Christopher Higgins.

The Case of the Gilded Lily coming soon to Shipwrecked Comedy!

When a family member asks what kind of guys you like…

Me: *awkward cough* … ummm….

Originally posted by supercastlevaniaiv

Originally posted by bertihelena

Originally posted by dumbass-effect

Originally posted by devils-drop

Originally posted by justimonarchive

Originally posted by thenightsplut0niansh0re

Originally posted by andyacklesspn

Me: ….. *whispers* the type that only exists in video games……

  • Jill: This looks like the place.
  • Jill: [opens the door to Devil May Cry]
  • Dante: [sitting at the desk pretending to read a magazine] If you're looking for a bathroom, it's in the back.
  • Chris: I take it you're Dante.
  • Dante: Well if it isn't Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. If I'd known I was meeting celebrities today, I would have dressed up. To what do I owe the honor?
  • Chris: We're having a hard time locating Wesker. I figured since your brother is affiliated with him, you might know something.
  • Dante: Wish I could help, but I haven't heard much from either of them since the wedding. You know how newlyweds are.
  • Jill: Wait, what? You mean Wesker and Vergil got married?
  • Dante: Affirmative. About two weeks ago.
  • Chris: And you're absolutely sure about that?
  • Dante: [pulls out a sheet of paper and lays it on the desk facing them]
  • Dante: I got ordained to spare any unwitting humans from having to deal with those two. Can't get much more sure than that.
  • Chris: [looks at Jill]
  • Jill: [rolls eyes, reaches into pocket, hands over $20]
  • Jill: What can I say? You called it.
  • Dante: What, that Wesker is gay?
  • Chris: No, that if he ever got married it would be to a literal demon.

Ok so uh, um.

CHUN LI WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT AN UPGRADE HOLY SHIT

Legit someone tell Capcom GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HEAD AND STOP CONFIRMING ALL MY PERVERTED HEAD CANNONS. PLEASE.

No I highly doubt that’s just lighting - light doesn’t bounce off of flat objects like that THAT IS CLEARLY A BULGE.

MY BOY IS PACKIN’ HEAT. *happy perverted fangirl dance go*

…and seriously, it annoys me that people are like “Durhur, he’s a robot! Robots don’t have junk!” and I swear if I get even one here–

To you I say, “WRONG“, good sir.

1: We have actual sex robots right now. Seriously you can go BUY A ROBOT TO SCREW RIGHT *NOW*.
2: Thanks to Mega Man Zero series, we have at least two confirmed cases of male reploid to human female couples. I can damn-near guarantee those couples were getting jiggy with it. Don’t believe me? I’m a human female, I kinda know how our hormones run… I’d tap that. >_>;
3: Dr. Light made X and hoped he would “live a peaceful, normal life” amirite? So doesn’t that mean by most standards, getting a career, finding a mate, starting a family?
4: and finally, given example 2, and the fact that all Reploids are based off of X, I close my case.

If anything, this just confirms what the fangirls have been writing, drawing, and drooling over for the last 24 years. Thank you, based Capcom gods. Now can y’all still kindly get outta my head? Seriously, if I get another perverted head cannon confirmed here I may lose my damn mind.

Chris Dant Grandview, Ohio

I see Chris infrequently but it’s always a pleasure. He is a great example of an adult that still rides because he genuinely enjoys it. Scootering is at a strange point where anyone over twenty is a pioneer of age. If you compare it to the spans of skateboarders time, many are professional until around forty. Commitment and taking care of your body seems to be it, and I am sure my generation of peers will do fine.

This week on “Parallels of the Dangerous and Problematic”...

I will never get tired of seeing the things these two have in common.

This week: Stalking up to opponents. Even if Vergil’s is more of a casual stroll than Albert’s.