chris brown new



“I didn’t mean to hit her Marcus, I really didn’t like it just happened. I was sooo upset and now I feel like complete shit. I hit my little sister.” Richè sobbed to me as we sat in my office at the shop. She had just burst in an emotional wreck and as her nigga I knew it was my duty to listen to her and help her through it. “I just know she hates me Marcus.” She sniffled.


“Come here shorty.” I said to her gesturing for her to get up from where she sat from across from me. She wiped her eyes and stood up walking around my desk and standing in front of me so that she was in between my legs. I gently pulled her by her belt loops so that she was sitting on my lap and I wrapped my arms around her. “Now we both know she doesn’t hate you.”


“I just feel so bad, you didn’t see how she looked at me.” she whimpered as she buried her face in my neck, her warm tears falling onto my skin. I rubbed her back in a circular motion in an attempt to soothe her.


“Just give it time baby girl. You both were upset and you both said things you didn’t mean, you just need some space from each other right now. But trust me, Nyelle doesn’t hate you. She thinks you hate her.” I explained to Richè.


“How do you know?” She asked looking up at me teary-eyed, I chuckled and gave her a knowing look.


“You think you were the first one to call me all upset? Nyelle called me right before you showed up and she feels the same way you do.” I said to her using my thumbs to wipe away her tears. It was true, Nyelle called me up crying not sure what to do or say and I had tried my best to calm her down as well.


“Thank you for looking after her Marcus, I really appreciate it. I never want her to feel alone.” Richè said sitting up in my lap before leaning down and gently pressing her lips against mine. I leaned my head up to meet her lips and kissed her back just as gently and passionately. Once we pulled away she giggled softly.


“What?” I asked her raising my eyebrows curiously.


“You have my lipstick on now.” She replied laughing once more before using her thumbs to wipe off her lipstick. “But now on a serious note what’s going on with the whole Keem thing?” She asked me. I paused unsure of whether or not I should reveal my thoughts and doubts to her. But then again if I couldn’t trust my shorty who could I trust.


“Aigh well keep this between me and you-” She cut me off with a pop to the head.


“Duh who else am I gonna tell?” She said rolling her eyes at me playfully.


“You better chill with them hands, you see what they’ve gotten you into already.” I replied teasing her. She gasped and went to move off of my lap but I grabbed her wrists making it impossible for her to move. “I’m playing I’m playing, you gonna listen or not?” I asked her, she nodded her head glaring at me.


“Okay so lowkey I’ve been keeping my eye on Caiden. I just haven’t let Keem or Quis now, but I have a strong suspicion that he was behind Keem’s jumping. I have him on a special mission where he’s supposed to be working with rival dealers in other territories, he’s supposed to gain their trust and then overthrow them so that I can move in. But what he doesn’t know is I already have someone over there working on the low and he has been for almost two years now. He’s been keeping an eye on Caiden for me and he’s been pointing out to me that Caiden isn’t really down for me. He’s down for himself, I’m trying to lay as low as possible so that I can gather all the facts and proof and then eliminate him.” I explained to Richè hoping that she was following everything I’ve said. I gave her such a brief synopsis of everything.


“Okay…I think I get it. But are you sure? Caiden seems like he really cares about you and making sure you’re good.” She replied with a shrug. “That’s just the vibe I’ve been getting.”


“Nah he aint as loyal as he’s been making it seem. My nigga that’s been working undercover wouldn’t lie and I also been getting weird vibes from Caiden. Keem and Quis think that I’m sleeping on that nigga but really I’m wide awake. I’m just playing it smart.” I replied stroking my beard as I spoke. “Why you so quick to defend him ma?” I asked Richè curiously.


“I guess I feel bad for him. He’s been nothing but cool to me but he receives so much shit from Keem and Quis. He only hangs out with yall so it’s like who does he have as a friend if two out of three hate his guts.” She explained with a slight shrug.


“I be forgetting you have a good heart.” I replied with a chuckle. “Just be careful ma, I trust you 100% but I don’t trust him and I don’t want him to try anything and I don’t want you to get hurt in the process.” I said reaching up and stroking her cheek gently, she smiled and nodded her head before leaning down to place several kisses on my neck. “Hold up.” I grunted pushing her away gently.


“Go lock the door.” I said licking over my lips and looking up at her, she grinned before getting up from my lap and doing as I said.


“Papi you okay?” I asked Quis as we walked around in Soho. It was a nice day out and we were going to do some baby shopping as well as regular shopping for ourselves, but he had been strangely quiet with me. Don’t get me wrong Quis was a quiet guy in general, but with me it was different.


“No.” He replied shaking his head, I tucked my top lip in and nodded my head. I squeezed his hand gently in an attempt to urge him to speak.


“Háblame (talk to me).”  I said speaking to him in Spanish. It was cute but Quis had told me he wanted to learn to speak Spanish so that he could one day communicate with my parents fluently and he had been studying on his own as well as taking lessons from me.


“I’m thinking about quitting.” He replied keeping his voice so low that I could barely hear what he had said.


“Quitting?” I asked unsure of what exactly it was he was referring to. Quitting what? The shop, the drug dealing?


“Yeah leaving the shop and all the other shit alone. I’m thinking about quitting and getting a legitimate job instead.” He explained before looking over at me to see my reaction. I widened my eyes a bit surprised at what he was suggesting.


“Really? What makes you want to do that babe?” I asked finally finding the words to respond to him. Quis never spoke about leaving Keem,Marcus, and the shop. They were his family and the shop was something they had all invested so much time and money into.


“This whole shit with Caiden isn’t sitting right with me. I know that something isn’t right and I feel like he was behind the whole Keem shit, Marcus has his head up Caiden’s ass and is acting like he’s too blind to see what’s really going on. I can’t just let my future rest on a nigga that I know is going to fuck us over. If I get a legit job and then quit this other shit I at least have something to fall back on.” He responded. I nodded remaining quiet until I was sure he was finished speaking.


“I think getting a legit job is really smart because you’re right. It’s too risky to place your entire future in the hands of somebody you don’t trust. I support whatever you decide to do baby. I’m glad you’re thinking for yourself though and thinking about us and the baby.” I said with a smile. Quis surprised me more and more everyday with his actions and words.


When we first met I never would have thought that somebody so hard and rough could have such a soft interior and a gentle heart. Never could I imagine that we’d be in the position we were now in, about to be parents and deeply in love with each other.


“I don’t want my son being born into a world where his father can only rely on the streets as a way of making money. I want to show him better, I want him to look at me and recognize that having a legit job and putting family first is what’s cool. Not that other shit. I honestly believe if someone had showed me that then I wouldn’t be where I am right now.” He said shaking his head.


“There’s nothing wrong with where you are Quis. From the time I met you to now, I’ve seen you grow so much and it’s amazing to be able to watch you continue to grow. I’m proud of you papi.” I said pulling him to the side so that we were no longer walking, I then tip-toed and gave him a soft peck on his lips. “I’m proud of you and I love you.”


“I love you too ma.” He replied pulling me close to him but careful enough not to smoosh my belly.


“Whatever you decide to do just know I’m standing behind you, me and our little one.” I said placing my hand on my stomach, just as I did so I felt a powerful kick that was strong enough to make me squeal. “Babe touch my stomach! Toca mi estómago!” I said excitedly.


He gave me a weird look as he smiled before shakily reaching out to touch my stomach. As I felt the warmth from his hand come into contact with my stomach through my shirt I felt butterflies in my stomach before feeling the baby move around in stomach before sending another powerful kick our way.


“Holy shit!” Quis said pulling his hand away as he jumped before laughing and placing his hand back onto my stomach. “See that’s another reason why I want to quit. I want to be able to enjoy the little moments like these without having to look over my shoulder or worry about someone fucking me over.”


“I understand baby and like I said I support you through whatever. But now I need you to support me.” I said twisting my lips to the side.


“And how can I do that?” He asked raising his eyebrows at me curiously.


“Get me something to eat pleaseee.” I sang before breaking out into a grin. “Can we please get some Chipotle?”


He laughed in response and nodded his head yes. “Let’s go hungry.” He said before wrapping his arm around me and leading me towards the Chipotle at the end of the block. I knew that things wouldn’t always be perfect for us, especially if Quis quit working with Keem and Marcus. But moments like this where it was just the two of us along with our little one, I didn’t care.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.