chore kitten

2

this is why i can’t ever do schoolwork sitting on the couch hahaha

today’s long to do list:
- laundry
- vacuum
- clean and sweep bathroom
- clean litter box

- clean and sweep kitchen
- paint toes :)
- clean laptop
- read module 4
- module 4 assignment
- module 4 discussion
- module 4 reflective journal
- walmart stop 

i get to see my babe in a lil over twelve hours so it’s a happy friday indeed!!!

RFA + Minor Trio as things I have said.

Not actually my idea, I can’t remember which blog it was whose idea this was but I decided to do this based on things that I’ve said. If any of you know or think you know who, please tell me >.< So, without further information! Things that Leo has said or thought! ~Admin Leo (for the record I changed my name on here. Hehe ^^)


Yoosung:

*Test is put out in front of him*

OK. I can do this!

*Writes name on test*

See, that wasn’t so bad. I got this!

*Turns page to first question*

I… Don’t got this…

Zen:

*Points to himself*

This is the definition of perfection

*Points to Jumin*

That… Is not

Jaehee:

I can’t wait to go home and relax!

*comes home and spends hours doing homework and chores*

Jumin:

*Sees a kitten*

It’s just… It’s so adorable…

707/ Luciel / Saeyoung:

So much to do! So little time!

*Spends the next two hours looking at depression memes*

Saeran:

Annoying brother: You shouldn’t eat ice cream in winter

Me:… Don’t tell me what to do! *Shoves a spoonful of ice cream in mouth*

Jihyun Kim / V :

*Accidentally knocks something over*

God… Sorry! Sorry!

*Knocks something else over trying to pick up item*

Oh God… I am really sorry! Super sorry!

*Knocks something else over*

Sorry! Sorry! So sorry!

Vanderwood:

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing but hey! This seems fun!

youtube

Magpie - The Mountain Goats

Try hard to do your best.

“Magpie” is a quiet song. A lot of this album is in its roaring but this song is quieter and because I am awful I play it a lot on rainy days, let it settle down the buzzing at the back of my skull. “Magpie” starts with a list of chores: feed the kittens in the kitchen, set food out for the strays. Try hard to do your best. I think about this a lot, about try hard to do your best as an imperative, a quiet command. You have to. You have to. Try hard. This song doesn’t promise you anything for your troubles but it is so, so gentle about that lack of promise. All these things you do are small flickers of quiet empathy in a world that is odd and strange and dark, the quietest kind, you know? Set food out for the strays at dawn and at dusk, your hands trembling slightly. Feed the animals you already have, mechanical motions leading you towards goodness and kindness. Words for when you are bone-deep tired, for when you cannot move anymore: try hard to do your best. Get up. Get up, turn outwards, shake yourself awake. This isn’t a fair trade. The world won’t reward you for trying so colossally hard, will turn a blind eye to how enormously difficult it is, but that doesn’t matter. This isn’t a fair trade but keep the bargain implicitly agreed upon anyway. Work all night if you have to.

Aly talked about “small affirmations of your personhood” in her post on “You or Your Memory” and this is a lot like that. The rituals of moving forward through the world are sometimes very strange, seem so contrived and pointless. Nobody is granting you enough for doing them. You are not winning, you are not getting any points. I make endless to-do lists, I am just one of those people, and usually those to-do lists say things like “review math” or “call the doctor” but sometimes they say “get out of bed in the morning” and “drink a glass of water”. Put your makeup on, Sophia. Blend out your foundation and curl your eyelashes. Feed your cat, Sophia. Scoop the food out of the bag and put it in a bowl. Take out the trash, walk to your car. These things are sometimes so difficult I feel like they are a weight put specially on me and I am still not fucking winning anything. Try hard to do your best, I guess.

Even rituals that seem empty and hollow are still rituals, though, and every ritual is worth something. Assemble yourself out of the small pieces of the many heavy things you have to do, a kind of quiet incantation. Shore up the crucifixes, above the archways and the doors. Remember that to make tea and feed your cats and get out of bed in the morning is a kind of magic. Even if nobody notices it it’s a kind of magic. The magpie will come and the magpie will always come (the magpie will have his way, the magpie comes at noon, relentless) but in the wake and anticipation of that there’s nothing you can do but what you should do anyway. I promise you empathy is not worthless. The small things you do just because they are the things you do are also pulling all of your terrible fraying edges inward. A time is going to come when all your energy does not go to the quiet assemblage of yourself but it might be far away.

The last stanza of this song begins “and when the cherry’s white with blossom, be ready and be brave.” There is a spring coming and you have to be ready for it. All rituals of survival are also motions toward a softer self, the construction of spaces of living one agonizing block at a time. JD’s voice is gentle and ungentle and this song is gentle and ungentle, begins and ends with commands. You are not winning anything but I promise it’s worth it anyway, this agonizing perpetuation of yourself despite the feeling that all you want is to shed your skin, step away into the sky. Wait. Be still. Don’t be lonely. There is a different time coming and you have to be ready, ready and brave.

- Sophia