Not actually my idea, I can’t remember which blog it was whose idea this was but I decided to do this based on things that I’ve said. If any of you know or think you know who, please tell me >.< So, without further information! Things that Leo has said or thought! ~Admin Leo (for the record I changed my name on here. Hehe ^^)
*Test is put out in front of him*
OK. I can do this!
*Writes name on test*
See, that wasn’t so bad. I got this!
*Turns page to first question*
I… Don’t got this…
*Points to himself*
This is the definition of perfection
*Points to Jumin*
That… Is not
I can’t wait to go home and relax!
*comes home and spends hours doing homework and chores*
*Sees a kitten*
It’s just… It’s so adorable…
707/ Luciel / Saeyoung:
So much to do! So little time!
*Spends the next two hours looking at depression memes*
Annoying brother: You shouldn’t eat ice cream in winter
Me:… Don’t tell me what to do! *Shoves a spoonful of ice cream in mouth*
Jihyun Kim / V :
*Accidentally knocks something over*
God… Sorry! Sorry!
*Knocks something else over trying to pick up item*
Oh God… I am really sorry! Super sorry!
*Knocks something else over*
Sorry! Sorry! So sorry!
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing but hey! This seems fun!
“Magpie” is a quiet song. A lot of this album is in its
roaring but this song is quieter and because I am awful I play it a lot on
rainy days, let it settle down the buzzing at the back of my skull. “Magpie”
starts with a list of chores: feed the
kittens in the kitchen, set food out for the strays.Try hard to do your best. I think about this a lot, about try hard to do your best as an
imperative, a quiet command. You have to. You have to. Try hard. This song
doesn’t promise you anything for your troubles but it is so, so gentle about
that lack of promise. All these things you do are small flickers of
quiet empathy in a world that is odd and strange and dark, the quietest kind,
you know? Set food out for the strays at dawn and at dusk, your hands trembling
slightly. Feed the animals you already have, mechanical motions leading you
towards goodness and kindness. Words for when you are bone-deep tired,
for when you cannot move anymore: try
hard to do your best. Get up. Get up, turn outwards, shake
yourself awake. This isn’t a fair trade. The world won’t reward you for trying
so colossally hard, will turn a blind eye to how enormously difficult it is,
but that doesn’t matter. This isn’t a fair trade but keep the bargain
implicitly agreed upon anyway. Work all
night if you have to.
Aly talked about “small affirmations of your personhood” in
her post on “You or Your Memory” and this is a lot like that. The rituals of
moving forward through the world are sometimes very strange, seem so contrived
and pointless. Nobody is granting you enough for doing them. You are not
winning, you are not getting any points. I make endless to-do lists, I am just
one of those people, and usually those to-do lists say things like “review math”
or “call the doctor” but sometimes they say “get out of bed in the morning” and
“drink a glass of water”. Put your makeup on, Sophia. Blend out your foundation
and curl your eyelashes. Feed your cat, Sophia. Scoop the food out of the bag
and put it in a bowl. Take out the trash, walk to your car. These things are
sometimes so difficult I feel like they are a weight put specially on me and I
am still not fucking winning
anything. Try hard to do your best, I
Even rituals that seem empty and hollow are still rituals,
though, and every ritual is worth something. Assemble yourself out of the small
pieces of the many heavy things you have to do, a kind of quiet incantation. Shore up the crucifixes, above the archways
and the doors. Remember that to make tea and feed your cats and get out of
bed in the morning is a kind of magic. Even if nobody notices it it’s a kind of
magic.The magpie will come and the
magpie will always come (the magpie will
have his way, the magpie comes at noon,
relentless) but in the wake and anticipation of that there’s nothing you can do
but what you should do anyway. I promise you empathy is not worthless. The
small things you do just because they are the things you do are also pulling all of your terrible fraying edges inward. A
time is going to come when all your energy does not go to the quiet assemblage
of yourself but it might be far away.
The last stanza of this song begins “and when the cherry’s
white with blossom, be ready and be brave.” There is a spring coming and you
have to be ready for it. All rituals of survival are also motions toward a softer
self, the construction of spaces of living one agonizing block at a time. JD’s
voice is gentle and ungentle and this song is gentle and ungentle, begins and
ends with commands. You are not winning anything but I promise it’s worth it
anyway, this agonizing perpetuation of yourself despite the feeling that all
you want is to shed your skin, step away into the sky. Wait. Be still. Don’t be lonely. There is
a different time coming and you have to be ready, ready and brave.