choose logan

10

The Sanders Sides!Patton: Morality

The others: RomanLoganVirgil

8

Timeless || S1:02

↳  The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln

6

Cherik AU: Charles is staying at Logan’s and the only way Erik can visit him is by climbing up to his window. 

“Really, Erik? Who do you think you are, bloody Romeo?”

“I needed to see you.”

“Logan is going to kill you.“ 

"Don’t care. This is more important." 

(here have a gif from my summer vacation because tumblr insists that this post is too long to be a text post *screaming*)

DON’T KNOW MUCH

There was too much angst after the last video and I needed some fluff plus this song is begging to be a logicality fic

Patton flopped on his stomach, face pressed into Roman’s fine pillows. Roman lay relaxed on one side of him and Virgil sat cross legged on the other, playing with the fringed edge of a throw pillow.

“I’m telling you Patton,” Roman was saying in his typically grand fashion, “a serenade is the perfect way to tell Logan how you feel, sing him one of the great love songs!”

“Or don’t do that,” Vigil chipped in, “those songs make you emotional all the time! You’ll start bawling and scare him right out of the room. Plus you don’t want to just sing any old song that’s not relevant to the two of you. “

“You know Virgil, you are not really saying no to the idea of singing.” Roman teased lightly.
Patton sat up excitedly, “so you both agree that a song is the best way to tell Logan how I feel?”

“No,” Vigil hesitated, “I still think you should just talk to him, but I suppose a song isn’t the worst way to open that conversation. BUT,” he said to stop Patton who was already halfway to the door, “ It has to be the perfect, I mean the perfect song Patton. In fact I think I should approve it before you do anything.”

“WE should approve it,” Roman amended, ignoring the sour look Virgil gave him.

Patton wore his cat headphones for about week after that, endlessly looking for the perfect song. One that fit both them, one light enough not to scare Logan away and one that wouldn’t make him bawl.

It was an odd week for the others. A week without forced family fun nights making Virgil leave his room. A week of Roman trying to figure out how to cook for the others. A week of crestfallen looks from Logan as Patton turned down yet another invitation to do puzzles together, or to go bird watching.

It was those very looks that assured Roman that no matter what song Patton choose it would work. Logan had feelings for Patton whether he admitted it or not. Still, he and Virgil both breathed sighs of relief when Patton finally presented them with the song.

He had burst into Virgil’s room, dragging Roman behind him by the hand, and in the other triumphantly holding his headphones.

“I did it!”

Virgil chuckled after recovering from his initial startle, “Okay then, let’s hear it.”

Each of their smiles grew as they listened.

It was perfect.

It fit both of them.

It probably wouldn’t scare Logan with too many feeling.

And it most likely wouldn’t make Patton bawl. Maybe. Hopefully.

“And,” Roman gushed, “Virgil and I can sing Back up for you!”

“What? No we can’t.”

“Of course you can, this song needs some do wap background!” Patton clapped his hands excitedly.

“Okay first of all, I don’t do wap, and second, don’t you think this should be private for you and Logan?”

Roman rolled his eyes, “ we can duck out at the end of the song. And won’t you do wop for your dear sweet friend Patton?” The two put their heads together and adopted twin puppy dog looks.”

“Fine,” Virgil threw his hands up in defeat, shying away from Roman’s near maniacal giggle.

It all came together very quickly after that, an unsuspecting Logan walking into the living room to find Patton lying suggestively on the couch.

“Hello Logan,” he said with an eyebrow wiggle.

“Wwwwhat is happening?” He asked dropping the book he had been reading to his side.

“You know Logan,” Patton said trying to keep the grin off his face, “I don’t know much about history,”

“Well that’s not surprising,”

“Don’t know much Biology,’

“Why did you sing the word ‘Biology’?”

Patton sat up with a grin, “Don’t know much about a science book, Don’t know much about the french I took,” he sang.

Roman appeared then, dragging a reluctant Virgil to add back up vocals. Logan spared them a glance, taking a small step backwards as Patton stood up, looking him straight in the eye.

“But I do know that I love you, and I know that if you loved me too, what a wonderful world this would be.”

Logan gave the other two a startled look as Roman blocked the stairs and Virgil shrugged apologetically. Meanwhile Patton hopped up on the counter and beckoned Logan to him.

“Don’t know much about geography, don’t know much trigonometry,
Don’t know much about algebra, Don’t know what a slide rule is for,”

“Well actually Patton, a slide rule is” he was got off by Patton using his tie to pull him between his knees and press a finger to his lips.

He smiled gently at Logan’s blush before he continued singing, “but I do know that one and one is two. And if this one could be with you, what a wonderful world this would be,”

He leaned forward to peck Logan’s nose before standing up on the counter to really deliver the next verse.

“Now, I don’t claim to be an A student, but I’m trying to be. for maybe by being an A student baby I can win your love for me”

“Uh oh,” Roman whispered as Patton sat down again, sing softly now, voice wavering and eyes filling with tears.

“Oh boy here we go,” Virgil sighed.

Logan looked over and waved them away, “I’ve got this,” he said softly even as Patton sobbed about not knowing French. Virgil smiled at his friend as Roman grabbed his arm to sink out, and was very surprised to pop up at the top of the stairs.

“Roman what are you doing?” But the prince just made a frantic shushing gesture as he peaked over the banister.


Logan gently took Patton’s hand , using the other to wipe away a few of the others overly emotional tears as he cried too hard to continue singing.

Logan cleared his throat, awkwardly pushing through what he was about to say, “I do know that I love you,” he stuttered and stumbled, “ and I know that if you loved me too, what a wonderful world this would be”

He should have been prepared for the squeal and the arms that got flung around his neck, but he wasn’t. Nonetheless he wrapped his arms tight around his love.


“Patton, if you don’t stop crying and giggling I won’t be able to kiss you,”

@killerfangirl3 @softbludemon @dan-yuna @tssanderssidestrash @the-prince-and-the-emo @pointless-blog-name @analogicalityhell @polysandershell @frustratedwaffle @starrykid @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @skylions-den @invisibleninjah @sanderssideblog @diplomatic-arsonist @gene-zane-strider @what-even-is-thiss @princeyandanxiety @fallingineternity @mira-jadeamethyst @beach-fan @my21thblogdamn @ttamer2468 @deathtonumber7 @simplypurelyinsane @chocolatey-umbreon @iaminmultiplefandoms @pattykrabbies @evilmuffin @pattonscardigan @obviouslyelementary @prinxietyhell @analogically-prinxiety @twinkly-lights @prinxietys @sanderssides-fics

anonymous asked:

53 with analogical for the prompts thingy??

53. “I’ll keep you safe.”

*cracks knuckles* I was just looking for an Analogical prompt! Thank you, Nonny!

Logan paused a moment, glancing down at the nearly sleeping side snuggled on his chest, before turning the page and continuing. It was one of their favorite activities. Virgil would choose the book, and Logan would read aloud. Tonight’s selection had been a compilation of the works of Edgar Allen Poe, a personal favorite of Virgil’s. Normally, he’d be wide awake, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on Logan’s chest while he softly smiled and snuggled deeper into the logical side’s arms. Tonight, however, there had been something off in Virgil’s eyes. Something haunted and sad. He wouldn’t talk about it, and Logan knew better than to push. Virgil would tell him when he was ready. 

Logan was just about to continue reading, when he heard that soft sound again. It sounded…distressed. He set the book aside, and looked down. Virgil appeared to be having a nightmare! His brow was furrowed, and a tear slowly streaked down his face while he whimpered and twitched. Logan gently carded his hand through Virgil’s hair, leaning closer to whisper to him.

“It’s alright, Virgil. I’m here. You’re in my room, with me. I’ll keep you safe, love. Wake up. Come on, you can do it. Open those beautiful eyes for me.” Virgil slowly blinked awake, hearing Logan’s calm voice and feeling his steady, even heartbeat under his hands. When Logan was certain he was mostly awake, he smoothed Virgil’s bangs back and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You were having a bad dream. Are you alright?” 

“….dreamed you were gone…” Virgil muttered, so softly he might have missed it. The anxious side picked at non-existent lint on the front of his shirt.

“Gone?”

“Faded, disappeared. Gone.” Virgil snuggled in again, his arms wrapping tighter around him. Virgil was worried he would leave?

“Impossible. We cannot die, and I will never leave you. I had thought I’d made my feelings for you clear?” Logan pulled him tighter into his arms, practically pulling Virgil to lay on top of him. The other side hummed in agreement, but didn’t look at him.

“Virgil. Look at me, please.” Virgil reluctantly tilted his head up, meeting his gaze. 

“I love you. I had no concept of what that was until I met you. I will never leave you, so worrying about that is a pointless endeavor.”

“But–”

“Have you ever known me to give less than my all once my mind is made up?”

“…No.” 

“Then can you please take reassurance that, if nothing else, I am immensely stubborn and highly unwilling to give you up?” Now Virgil chuckled, and Logan smiled, relieved to hear it.

“That’s very true.” 

“Then may we consider the matter settled?” Virgil huffed in amusement, leaning forward and pressing tiny nipping kisses along his jaw and down his neck. Logan made a soft sigh, moving his head to the side to give him better access. Virgil grinned and shifted to a better position, watching the way Logan’s eyes fluttered with each press of his lips.

“Yeah, I suppose we can.”

Back Where I Belong - Chris Evans

request: Can you do an imagine where the reader and Chris are dating and she meets him at the airport after he’s been away filming for months?

people: Chris - Reader (You) 

warnings: FluFFY 

word count: 1000+

a/n: This is a request that someone asked so long ago, I’m so sorry I neglected your request, anonymous person! Thank you for this lovely idea, though, I’ve had this tucked away for so long.


“These seats are hurting my ass. God, now I know why airport seating is so fuckin’ painful, they want you to be motivated so you haul ass to get to the plane,”

I stopped to laugh at my joke, chuckling loudly enough to awaken the elderly lady next to me who was waiting for something she was not willing to talk about.

“Would you, for the millionth time, shut up! It’s three in the morning!” Across from me was this bitchy woman around my age, most likely a lot older. She had this weird orange hair, that I knew was dyed but she still had ginger-like looks to her face. She had the whole nine yards of freckles, ginger-tinted brows, and even wore green just to brighten her orange complexion.

“No! It’s three in the morning and I’m here because I’ve got someone to pick up that I’ve been waiting for. For four months!”

The Irish-wannabe looked at me and smirked, giggling to herself like I wasn’t ten feet away from her. “Who are you picking up? Your boyfriend you ordered off some sex website?”

Jesus, when will Flight 4301 land, dammit! I don’t have time for this!

Smiling sweetly, I got up and grabbed my bag along with my third cup of Starbuck’s black coffee. “Yes, you got me Lucky Charms, I ordered a sex companion. His name is Julio and we’re gonna get married in Vegas. Good day.”

Ginger-snap wasn’t fast enough to shut her wide opened trap that had fallen when I was quick to reply to her. Walking off I went to sit at another set of empty seats, hopefully not causing controversy with whoever lands up near me.

Chrispy Creme:  I land at BOS @ 4:45 baby! Sorry it’s so early :/ I love you xxx

It was two to forty-five and no signs of his flight were announced. Deciding to let it be, I plugged in my earphones and brought up my Itunes, clicking on a much-needed song right now, one that would ease the ache of Chris’s arm not being wrapped around my waist right now. It would numb my lips that could almost feel the pressure of lips on mine.

Humming along to the beat of Alicia Key’s ‘If I Ain’t Got You’ I closed my eyes that burned with lack of sleep. I hadn’t even slept all night because I got too excited about Chris finally coming back home. So I made myself an espresso and watched musicals that would make me stay awake because I could never sit through one without getting up and dancing to the beat of the melody or singing along with the cast. I was hitting my breaking point, though, my head throbbed, and my ass still ached, my eyes were burning with tears now, from sleep-induced stress. I felt my chin waiver as I silently prayed for Chris to just get here soon, I was waiting for him, Dodger was waiting for him. Then tonight there’d be a huge surprise party for him courtesy of Lisa, Carly, Shauna, and I. My fingers roughly rubbed my sunken eyes, I cannot fall asleep! No Sleep, no sleep, no sleep-

“Flights 4305, 4308, and 4301 have arrived. The gates are open for you to pick up your guest, thank you for choosing Boston’s Logan Airport. Have a nice day!” With that I grabbed my bag and abandoned my coffee, running to the sea of people who seem to have magically just appeared out of nowhere.

Now, I’m not the tallest bean in the stock so my only resort of finding Chris was jumping up and trying to get a glance of a NASA Cap, some blonde hair with ashes of brown in it, or those blue eyes that we’re quite hard not to miss.

After my twelfth jump with no such luck of a glimpse of him, I gave up on that plan and went with sour plan b. “Humph..Ugh! Fine, people. I’ll go to the back you asswipes.”

Leaving the crowd I went to the terminal area, watching the people pass by with their collected loved ones as I stared at them angrily, pissed that I wasn’t one of the lucky ones. I didn’t lose hope, though, I waited for a good twenty minutes before finally, I caught sight of a very familiar looking button down.

I don’t know whether it was the possible dangerous amount of coffee in me or just the adrenaline of seeing him again but I bolted down the hall.

“Chris!” I yelled just in time to have him catch me in his arms, wounding me tightly around his hips. I was a koala bear that refused to let go of him. The numbness of my subsided when he kissed me fervently, almost clawing at my hair with a desperation to be closer to me, than he already was. we already were.

Pulling back just enough to let himself whisper breathlessly to me, I couldn’t help but kiss away the tear that leaked from his glassy eyes. “You..have no idea…how long… I’ve waited for this.” Beaming with a smile that hurt my cheeks I laughed sneaked a kiss from him again.

“Oh love, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you… but… now that I have you back-”

“Oh I’m never fuckin’ leaving again, that’s for sure.” Both of us burst out laughing at Chris’s words.

I let my feet hit the ground and soon we became just another couple walking out of the terminal, smiling with each other’s arm wrapped around their waist. We looked so ordinary, so normal. No one asked Chris for a photo or even a question. They just smiled as we passed, on our way to my car in the parking lot.

I felt Chris let out a sigh of relief, feeling his fingers dig into my hip a bit, as we walked out of the airport. “It feels good to be back home…”

“It feels good to just have you here…” Chris smiled down at me when I softly answered back to him. 

I stole another glance at him again, just wanting to see that face once more. Letting it sink in that he was actually finally here. Finally in bed with me at night, eating my terrible made up foods, and listening to my awful karaoke. I let a few tears fall to the earth, not caring if my mascara made me a raccoon or not. 

All that mattered was he was here with me. His burly arm around my lower waist, cuddling into me like no time had placed since he’d last held me like this. 

“I can’t believe I went so long without seeing your face, Y/N. God, it hurt sometimes just to think of seeing you on skype at night because I couldn’t reach in and just grasp your hand,” His arm left my waist and he took my left hand into his right, interlocking our fingers. “Or just see your eyes in the real sunlight… I don’t know how you summoned the strength because I sure as hell was caving in on week three…” 

Giving only a smile, sincere smile, I kept his hand clasped with my own, holding his palm just a bit tighter to mine as I felt my throat tighten with a sob I refused to release. “Oh love,” I replied. Staring at his beautiful face while Chris looked at the sun rays starting to beam their light down on us, letting the skies lighten with a blue color so beautiful it lifted his spirits even higher. 

Just looking at his widening eyes, and dopey smile and felt a sob and chuckle come out at once. God, I’m in love with this man…How did I get through these months away from him? Lord knows it was spent sometimes with my face in a pillow or my body tucked under the sheets all day… all of it, though, I’d do again and again just to be able to hold that face…

How hard was it to be away from you, Chris? 

 Love, you have no idea.


Tell me your thoughts! I wrote this on a whim so constructive criticism is always welcomed haha! - R .xx 

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Prinxiety

Anxiety was wedged into the corner of the couch, knees drawn up to his chest. The epitome of physical comfort, he smirked to himself as he scrolled through tumblr. Physical was the key word there as he attempted to distract himself from his thoughts which were, to put it mildly, uncomfortable.  He glanced up at Prince who was sitting at the dining room table, polishing his katana and humming a happy tune that Anxiety didn’t recognize. Anx felt a stab of jealousy as he watched the man work. Though he may not have been as physically comfortable as Anxiety currently was in his warm soft ball, it was obvious that the inside of Prince’s head was very comfortable.  


“You’re staring.” Prince said in a light hearted, sing-song voice; not bothering to look up from his work.


“No I wasn’t” Anxiety said a bit to defensively. “I was just zoned out.”


“Sure.” The fanciful man said, his tone one of teasing disbelief. Anxiety rolled his eyes and settled deeper into the cushions before turning his attention back to his dash, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from straying to Roman’s face, so happy and concentrated at the same time.


Morality and Logic came into the room just then, on their way to the kitchen. Logic’s face was twisted up as he tried to make sense of Dad’s inane babbling. Anxiety would  remind him that it was a hopeless endeavor, but it was much more entertaining to watch him get wound up. Dad made another terrible joke which caused Logic to throw his hands in the air and make a very frustrated sound before turning to the fridge.  Morality turned and threw the other two a mischievous wink before launching into a set of even worse dad jokes.  


Prince and Anxiety shared a dumbfounded look. He had always assumed that Morality was just that oblivious, the idea that he was purposely rilling Logan up was near unimaginable.


“Aw, don’t be mad at me.” Morality said to Logic’s backside. “Tell you what kiddo, let’s make a couple sandwiches then we can watch a documentary of your choosing?” Logan visibly brightened at that.

“Aren’t they cute?” Prince asked once the room was empty again.


Anxiety made a disgusted sound but that jealous feeling was niggling at him again.


“You know…we could be cute.“ The other man continued. That actually made him snort, not even bothering to look up to see if Prince was serious. “I’m being sincere


Anxiety stared at Roman for a long time, a whirlwind had started in his head and each thought was worst than the last.  “Look,” he started slowly, “I get not wanting to be alone, but that doesn’t mean you should just pair up with whoever’s around. There is someone out there for you.” the optimism felt unfamiliar on his tongue, but not necessarily false. He was sure that for someone like Prince there were a thousand someones.


The other man sheathed his blade with a snort, Anxiety flinched away from the sound. “A) I’m not some lonely guy looking to hook up. B) You are not some lonely guys hook up, okay? And C)” there was a pause as Prince’s face shifted into a grin,” You’re my yang.” Then he gave him his best Charming Smile. The one that said ‘I know that was cheesy but you loved it anyways.’ Anxiety’s brain raced trying to figure out what was going on, his whole body was screaming “Danger!” However, Roman’s smile was gentle and sincere as he moved to sit in front of Anxiety on the couch. He placed one hand on Anxieties knee which was still drawn up towards his chest.


“Anxiety, do you remember that day we talked about Disney films?” Anx gave a wary nod. “You’ve been on my mind a lot since that day. I thought perhaps I had a missed judged you, and indeed I had. I have watched you closer the past few weeks, and all I can think about is talking to you again, seriously and deeply. I want to know you and understand you. I want you challenging my ideas and occasionally calling me out on my crap. Also I suspect you to be a fantastic cuddler. “ That last was said with a giant grin, but the longer Anxiety simply stared at him the more doubt crept into the others eyes. It was an expression he had never seen on the others face, it broke his, heart which was hammering against his ribs, but he still couldn’t force any words past his throat.


“I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot all at once, but think about it will you?” With that Roman rose gracefully, placing a kiss atop his head before leaving the room.


Now alone, wedged in the corner of the couch, Anxiety trembled struggling to believe what he’d heard, struggling to drown out the dark voices whose words were harsh and bitter.  Could Thomas’ Dreams and Nightmares get along, coexist? Could they be a …Dream Team? He thought channeling his inner dad.


Maybe.


Anxiety went looking for Roman, not sure what he would say to him and doing everything in his power not to think about. He focused on finding the other and reciting the lyrics to songs instead. The effect was wearing off, he needed to find the other quickly or the dark thought would win out and he’s just go home. Finally he spotted him, his white shirt and red sash barely visible in the dusk. He was seated on the top of a grassy hill, watching the fireflies come out. Anxiety walked up quietly behind him, heart thudding and hoping hard than he’d ever hoped that the Prince had ment each of his words.  Roman looked up at him questioningly once he realized he was there, but once again his words were stuck in his throat. Instead he sat down next to the man, leaning his head against the broad shoulder and threading their hands together. All of the tension left Prince’s frame and he let out a small relieved sigh that Anx would have missed had he not been sitting so close. It made him smile a little, surely even Prince was not that god an actor?


Roman Kissed the top of his head again before leaning his own against it. “I’m not perfect. Much as it pains me to admit it.”


Anxiety raised his head so he could give Prince as confused look. “I’m not perfect but I’m going to try, Anxiety I’m going to try so hard.” Before his stupid cloudy dark brain could catch up with him he leaned forward and kissed him.


“Me too.” He whispered.

Let Me (Old Man Logan x Reader)

Originally posted by dofp

WARNING: LOGAN SPOILERS

Author’s Note: Ok so this is my first time writing something that I’ve posted so please give me feedback. Also I got this idea a few days ago and it just wouldn’t leave me. I’m not sure how I feel about it so I might write something else with the same-ish character and situation like a part 2 or something about life at the compound before this.

Summary: Set around 5-ish months before Logan. You live at the compound with Logan, Caliban, and Charles. You help the two mutants take care of Charles, and you have a history with Logan that tends to repeat itself.

Warning(s): Just some angst I guess, also Logan spoilers!!

Word Count: 1,360

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Where Senility Ends

Summary: Logan cares for Charles in the silo. Did I already write this setting? Too bad, have another one. I don’t even know if it’s heartbreaking or just worn out anymore.

WARNING: a rather graphic quote from x-men is used, regarding Auschwitz. It’s marked with a (5), and is that entire paragraph. It can be skipped


Logan walked into the fallen silo and slammed the door closed, making sure Charles wouldn’t be startled by his sudden appearance. It had taken him several months to realize the professor wasn’t always home anymore, and the times when he wasn’t were coming more and more frequently. Especially as Logan found the necessary medicines harder and harder to come by. It wasn’t that Chuck was becoming senile. He would just lose himself in his powers more often.

It hadn’t been so bad when Magneto had been around to help draw out the younger man. Logan had always admired Erik for his ability to remind Charles of just who and where he was. But the first of the seizures had taken that option out of the equation rather soundly.

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Dysphoria

Also known as projecting

warnings: gender dysphoria, crying mention, food mention, nausea mention

word count: 1013

The room was silent and still.  A red blanket was draped over a sleeping body that lay curled up on a king sized bed.

Eyes flickered open and instantly squeezed shut again at the blinding brightness of the room.  They fluttered over to the window to notice the blinds up and winced.

Gaining awareness, hands reached for the phone on the bedside table and fumbled with it sleepily, until a text was somehow successfully sent.

From a few doors down, Logan’s phone buzzed.  He picked it up and read the message displayed across his screen, sighing.  Roman was up, and already not feeling well.  The message was simple and typo-ridden; “Rbring tea pleasei love you”.  It always sort of bugged Logan that he didn’t have autocorrect on, but he rarely made mistakes while typing anyway, so he refrained from bugging him about it too much.  Upon receiving this message, Logan closed his laptop- on which he was watching a very informative and inspirational Ted Talk- and shuffled out of the office in his unicorn onesie.

A few minutes later, through the door, Roman could hear the tea kettle whistling and he softly smiled.  Logan was certainly different than he seemed.  He was loyal and kind, and the moment you asked for his help he was there to provide it.  Just moments later came a few soft taps on the door, so quiet they sounded as if just one knuckle was used.

“Mhm,” Roman responded as loudly as he could manage in his sleepy, dazed state.  And in walked the most gorgeous boy Roman had ever laid eyes on.  His hair was a mess, so uncharacteristically adorable, and steam danced from the white mug that he clutched in his perfect hands.  He almost sat up to give a proper morning greeting, but Logan was seated on the edge of his bed before he had to.  

“I love you too, by the way,” Logan said softly, setting the mug on the night stand and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.  “Do you want to sit up to drink this, or would you prefer waiting?”

“I guess I’ll sit up.”  Roman’s voice was low and gentle, much different from his usual boldness.  He shifted and sat up so that he was at a more comfortable position to drink the tea that Logan had so kindly made for him.  “Chamomile?”

Logan smiled and handed over the mug.  “With a drop of milk and a generous drizzle of honey, of course.”

Roman took a sip and smiled.  “It’s perfect.  You’re perfect.”

“Well, no,” Logan rebutted, “That’s impossible.  But I appreciate the sentiment.”  Roman huffed out a laugh and took another sip of the tea.  “How are you feeling?”

He paused for a moment.  How was he feeling?  His thoughts weren’t quite sentences, so it was hard to articulate.  “Not great,” he finally replied.  “Cramps are pretty bad right now and I’m only on day two, which usually is way too soon for cramps this strong to kick in.  But they’re there.”  He set down the mug on his night stand.  “And dysphoric, as usual.  But I’ll be okay.”  He pulled the red comforter so it was covering his arms and shoulders and pulled his knees up to his chest.  Logan reached a hand out to run his fingers through Roman’s hair and he smiled shyly at the touch.

“You know you’re so handsome, right?  You really are, Roman.  Handsome as ever,” he cooed.  Roman couldn’t help but blush and bury his face in his knees as he continued.  “I hope you know how much I love you.  You’re my prince.  Forever and always.”  He pressed a kiss to the top of Roman’s head, which made him look up and reveal his blushing and smiling face.

“I love you, nerd.”

Logan smiled sweetly.  “Are you hungry?  I could make us some breakfast if you’d like.  Chocolate chip pancakes maybe.”

Roman groaned.  “I’m too nauseous for food right now.  Just tea is fine.”

“Would you like some water?  A heating pad?  I could put in a Disney movie of your choosing,” Logan suggested.  He just wanted Roman to feel comfortable and happy.  That’s all he ever wanted.

Roman smiled.  “I’m okay, really.  I’m happy right now.  You’re sweet, Logan.”  Logan blushed.  “Lay with me?” Roman asked, outstretching his arms to his boyfriend.  Wordlessly, Logan stood and lifted the corner of the comforter, slipping into bed and cuddling up beside him.  He pressed another gentle kiss against Roman’s shoulder.

Logan didn’t truly know what gender dysphoria felt like, and it would be illogical to pretend that he did.  He just knew that it sometimes made Roman shake him awake at 3 in the morning because his world just felt wrong.  He knew that no matter how many times he called him handsome, Roman would still feel a little bit off.  He knew that transitioning was going to be a long journey that had barely begun.

But he also knew that sometimes when they popped in their favorite movie and half-watched it while Roman pointed out every actor and their name, age, and height, and Logan would laugh and call him a geek… he’d forget.  And when they went on walks in the woods and looked at all the birds and Logan would point out every species he knew and Roman watched him fill with passion as he talked about it even though to him it sounded like a different language… he’d forget.  And when Logan would have trouble sleeping and they’d take a bubble bath together, and Roman would hum to him as he drifted off to sleep in his arms… well how could he focus on anything but Logan’s soft, steady breathing, and how adorable he looked in his sleep, and how every once in awhile he’d shift and pull Roman’s hand a little bit closer?

It wasn’t fun, dysphoria.  It was painful and draining and unfair.  But having the love of his life with him made it a little bit more bearable.