chomp on

Sorry, all fungus-related dealings must be made through Podostroma, or you’re infringing on her one character trait~

And again, it’s not that I dislike the Chomp, he’s just not going to be a permanent fixture~

Here's How I Eat Hot Pockets

1. Carefully peel away and eat pieces of the upper crispy, crunchy, tender, flaky crust (author’s note: crust will actually just be chewy with a plastic sheen) until the innards are fully exposed.

2. Pluck select large ingredients out of the pocket with my fingers and shove them elegantly into my mouth.

3. Fold remaining ingredients and bottom chewy crust into a sort of taco/hotdog hybrid and chomp it down until the end finally comes.

anonymous asked:

For the ship meme: Marco and Levi

what th-okay jdksfd CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

  • who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: werewolf marco and hunter levi, if levi was the were he’d chomp half of him.
  • who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: mermarco and fisherman levi.
  • who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: witch marco and familiar levi, marco can’t protect himself are u f kidding.
  • who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: barista marco and coffee addict levi I guess…tea has caffeine already so is closer for him kfjdsd.
  • who’s the professor and who’s the TA: teacher levi and TA marco.
  • who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): knight levi…and princess marco.
  • who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: teacher marco and single parent levi.
  • who’s the writer and who’s the editor: hmmm..writer levi and marco as his editor who tries to wipe out all the cussing without success.

hannahblock  asked:

Omg! The forbidden fruit!!! The chapstick comic made me laugh so much because my brother used to eat them when he was little.

Aaaa thank you!!! I don’t know a lot of people who haven’t been tempted to take a huge chomp out of scented chapsticks lol. Especially the Lip Smackers kind.


Happy π Day, Tumblr!

This year, I got my very own apple pi to celebrate!  (Get it? 😁)

Pro tip:  Just like π is not a whole number, apple pi cannot be eaten whole.  Sitting on it does not help, either.  I recommend demanding your human cut your apple pi into more manageable slices.

The Big Chomp

Backstory: so we’re playing the Tyranny of Dragons campaign and through dumb decisions and deliberately ignoring DM hints, we end up right in the middle of a big ol’ cult layer full of bosses and enemies. We’re kind of screwed. Our lovable bugbear fighter, our evil and horny elven sorcerer, and me our Far Too Chaotic dragonborn Cleric or Tymora.

Our Bugbear Fighter takes out the boss pretty quick but we’re still surrounded by 12 Kobolds and 2 Beserkers.

Dragonborn Cleric (Me): Okay so. There’s 6 flying Kobolds yeah?
DM: Yup
Dragonborn Cleric: Okay and how grouped together would you say they are?
DM: Oh they’re huddled up, Bugbear scared the shit out of them.
Cleric: Oh fantastic. I cast spiritual weapon
DM: Alllrighty what’s your weapon.

Cleric: A giant copy of my head
DM: … What.
Cleric: Tymora doesnt have any weapons associated with her. So I want to summon a gigantic floating version of my head right beside these flying kobolds.
DM: A-alright. What now?
Cleric: I roll to vore.
DM: Oh god.

*rolls high enough*
*hits every kobold down to one hp*

DM: Okay, god. All the flying Kobolds look like theyre dying and the non-flying Kobolds are so stupid they’re just attacking this big ghostly head.
*On my next turn *
Cleric: So now alllll the kobolds are grouped around the head yes?
DM: Jesus, yes.
Cleric: I roll to cronch

*rolls high*

DM:… In one mighty chomp you have managed to vore every single kobold to death in your mighty ghostly jaws. The big head swallows, satisfied, and the beserkers look distinctly ill
Sorcerer: I don’t know about anyone else but I’m aroused