Whilst eating a pleasant sandwich I bit my finger by accident quite hard. I wasn’t paying attention and really chomped down and now there is a small dent in my nail because I couldn’t eat my food like normal person.
Backstory: so we’re playing the Tyranny of Dragons campaign and through dumb decisions and deliberately ignoring DM hints, we end up right in the middle of a big ol’ cult layer full of bosses and enemies. We’re kind of screwed. Our lovable bugbear fighter, our evil and horny elven sorcerer, and me our Far Too Chaotic dragonborn Cleric or Tymora.
Our Bugbear Fighter takes out the boss pretty quick but we’re still surrounded by 12 Kobolds and 2 Beserkers.
Dragonborn Cleric (Me): Okay so. There’s 6 flying Kobolds yeah?
Dragonborn Cleric: Okay and how grouped together would you say they are?
DM: Oh they’re huddled up, Bugbear scared the shit out of them.
Cleric: Oh fantastic. I cast spiritual weapon
DM: Alllrighty what’s your weapon.
Cleric: A giant copy of my head
DM: … What.
Cleric: Tymora doesnt have any weapons associated with her. So I want to summon a gigantic floating version of my head right beside these flying kobolds.
DM: A-alright. What now?
Cleric: I roll to vore.
DM: Oh god.
*rolls high enough*
*hits every kobold down to one hp*
DM: Okay, god. All the flying Kobolds look like theyre dying and the non-flying Kobolds are so stupid they’re just attacking this big ghostly head.
*On my next turn *
Cleric: So now alllll the kobolds are grouped around the head yes?
DM: Jesus, yes.
Cleric: I roll to cronch
DM:… In one mighty chomp you have managed to vore every single kobold to death in your mighty ghostly jaws. The big head swallows, satisfied, and the beserkers look distinctly ill
Sorcerer: I don’t know about anyone else but I’m aroused