You were nineteen the first time you felt this. This disbelief. This anger. Eyes stinging. Throat raw. Choking on the smoke of a thousand burning homes. You’d had the body almost a year. The training. You had scars. You’d been shot at so many times that you laughed when you found yourself staring down the barrel of a gun. But you weren’t a soldier… until that day.
There’s an infestation in my mind’s imagination, I hope they choke on smoke ‘cause I’m smoking them out the basement, This is not rap, this is not hip hop, Just another attempt to make the voices stop. (x)
There’s an infestation in my mind’s imagination,
I hope that they choke on smoke ‘cause I’m smoking them out the basement,
This is not rap, this is not hip-hop,
Just another attempt to make the voices stop,
Rapping to prove nothing, just writing to say something,
'Cause I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t rushing to sayin’ nothing,
This doesn’t mean I lost my dream,
It’s just right now I got a really crazy mind to clean.
An allegory of the Lenape advocating selfless acts, the story of the Rainbow Crow tells of the first snow, which brought cold to the world for the first time. The animals, freezing and scared, decided among themselves to send the Rainbow Crow fly to Kijilamuh Ka’ong, the creator deity, and ask him to remove the cold. Upon reaching the god after three days’ flight and explaining the situation, Rainbow Crow was told what was created could not be uncreated, but he could provide some help, reaching into the sun and removing fire for the crow to take back to the Earth and help keep the animals warm. The Rainbow Crow again flew for three days carrying the fire, the flames charring his colorful plumage black and the smoke choking his beautiful singing voice. The crow from then on would be black and hoarse, but his sacrifice in saving the other animals would be remembered by Kijilamuh Ka’ong, deeming mankind should honor the crow by never hunting them for food or keep them caged.
“I’m gonna head out, okay? I’ll text you in the morning,” I say, resting a hand on Jack’s shoulder.
I’d been sitting in the studio with all of the Omaha squad and a couple other people for over 2 hours just listening to their music and it was great, but part of me felt like I didn’t belong here. I mean, I was kind of starting to choke on the smoke, and everyone else was at least slightly drunk, even though half of them weren’t even legal.
I on the other hand didn’t drink or smoke and was probably the only person here who could drive if need be. I loved Jack but I wasn’t really sure that his friends loved me. I mean they smiled at me and we hung out together, but I knew that if I wasn’t dating Jack, they’d want nothing to do with me. I’ve never been a social girl, I could never hang out with the ‘cool’ kids, Hell, I could barely hold up a conversation. And yet here I was, hanging with people who were followed by millions because of how social and talented they were.
He turns away from the soundboard he was working at and looks at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, pulling my bag little higher onto my shoulder.
He gets up from his chair and grabs my hand, looking at me in a questioning way. Still he says, “Okay,” and grabs my hand, “at least let me walk you out.”
We head out and once we’re on the street I hug him tightly. He nuzzles into my neck and softly pecks me there before pulling away.
“You’ve got a safe way of making it home right?” I ask, knowing he shouldn’t be driving on his own. Surprisingly though, he’s pretty calm and focused despite being half-drunk and high.
“Yeah, we’ll just call an Uber or taxi or something.” I nod and turn to walk off, but he grasps my hand a little tighter, making me turn back around. “We’re gonna go to Sam and Stass’s place tomorrow night, you coming?”
“I… I don’t think I can,” I say, knowing full well that I have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow.
I can see the disappointment on his face and immediately feel bad. “Oh okay.. well, I’ll call you later or come over after we’re done tomorrow, around 10 okay?“
"Yeah, sure,” I say, giving him a smile even though I’m exhausted.
—– *the next night*
At about 8:30, a knock on the door sounds through my studio apartment. I head directly to it from the couch, in just my sweatpants in a tank top, hoping it’s the pizza I ordered.
When I open the door, there Jack is, holding my large barbecue chicken pizza and giving me a disapproving look.
“Is this all for you?”
I shy away and look to the ground. “Maybe?” I say quietly.
“Well, now it’s for us,” he says, pushing me to the side gently so he could come in and set down the pizza. “I thought you were busy tonight, Y/N.”
“I am,” I say in an attempt to defend myself. “I’m busy rewatching the entire Gilmore Girls series in preparation for the season coming out.”
“Mind if I join you?” I’m surprised he asks.
“Not at all,” I say, then halt as we head over to the couch with some paper plates. “It might bore you though,” I add.
“Nah, not at all, my mom used to make me and my dad watch it for ‘family bonding time’. Don’t tell her that I secretly liked it. But we never finished so why not watch it with you,” he explains.
We sit down and get comfortable. He’s got his feet up facing one end of the couch and I’ve got my feet up going the other way but in the middle he’s rested against the back of the couch and I’m on his chest.
Two or three episodes and half a pizza later, he speaks up.
“So why did you tell me you were busy tonight?”
I take a deep breath. “Well, technically I never said I was busy, I just said I couldn’t make it. And how did you know I was here?”
“Answer my question first. Why didn’t you wanna go tonight?” he’s got his arms wrapped around me now, sitting up.
“I don’t think your friends like me,” I mumble.
“What?” he says.
“I don’t think your friends like me,” I say a little louder.
“No, I heard you the first time. I just can’t believe you think that. Baby, they love you,” he explains. I give him a questioning look and he continues, “I’ve brought a lot of girls around them but you’re the only one I’ve brought more than once. You know why?” he doesn’t wait for an answer, “It’s ‘cause they actually like you. And they get that you’re kind of quiet and stuff but they don’t care.”
I continue to look at him like I don’t believe him and he goes on.
“Dillon said that he loves you becuase you’re the only one who keeps paying attention when he shows us track after track. Nate said you’re his new favorite cuz you’ve helped him finish multiple songs. G loves you ‘cuz you hang with Madison when he’s busy and don’t let her get left out. And Sammy loves you cuz you laugh at his crappy jokes and participate in his stupid snapchat skits,” he hugs me tighter, “And most importantly, I love you. More than I’ve loved any other woman. Except maybe my mom, but she doesn’t count. “
I laugh and he joins in, knowing he’s convinced me. “And now you can’t leave because we’re all attached to you,” he says, kissing up and down my face repeatedly and making me laugh even more. “When I came in to Sam’s tonight, everyone was wondering where you were. They missed you just as much as I did. So please, please come with me next time, okay?”
“Sure,” I say, smiling and kissing his cheek. “But you still have to answer my question, how did you know I was here?”
“Because, sweetheart, I know you too well,” he says, “Also, I texted Y/B/F/N and she said that you were planning on laying around tonight.”
“That snitch,” I exclaim, but also thank her for initiating this talk.
“I personally love her,” he says, “Now turn on another episode, I’m dying to know if Logan and Rory are gonna get together.”
I laugh at his interest as I pick up another pizza slice and the remote, cuddling deeper into the shoulder of the guy I’ve fallen deeply in love with.
—— A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. I feel so bad for people who request things just because I take so long to get them up. But just know, if you have requested something I do work hard to write something that I hope you’ll love and that I actually spent time on, so it’s not like I’m just ignoring your request.
Anyways, hope everyone had a nice holiday, I know I did. I got like $60 worth of Starbucks cards so I guess I’ll be there often. I am on break so another request will be out by the end of the week and I might even put out something of my own I’m working on. Even though I do have a few requests to do REQUESTS ARE OPEN y’all. It might take me a minute to get to it but it will be done. Also at the beginning of summer I posted a song list hat you could request and I’d write an imagine to it and I’ll be reposting that soon with some songs added so look out for that!
Author’s Note: This is another one of those times where I’m posting something I’d written long ago, for the sake of posting. I did want to write a fic today but of course, homework comes first, and part of my homework involves writing a lot of poetry, which depleted my creativity for the day! And now I’m very tired. I need to watch season 4 of Sherlock still. When I have the time. So then I can maybe start writing new things for the lovely detective.
natasha: hands numb from the cold, a piano sporadically breaking out into crescendos, moonlit rooms, cobbled streets, puffy eyes and red noses, your heart pounding so loud you feel it in your fingertips
sonya: foggy wheat fields, details of renaissance paintings, waking up at 4 am when everything is quiet, delicate silver jewellery, the unbearable pain that comes when someone you love hurts them self and there’s nothing you can do
pierre: old book smell, closed curtains that barely let sun in, cold wood floors on bare feet, layers of coats and sweaters and scarves, melancholy glances, snow illuminated by streetlights
anatole: cologne so strong you choke, cigar smoke, sly smiles, carcasses picked clean by animals, a secluded wooden cabin in the forest, someone standing uncomfortably close to you
mary: empty churches, illuminated stained glass, a wilted floral centrepiece, baroque paintings, life like marble statues, hands trembling from nerves, clouds so dark and menacing they feel surreal
i really want young alf mako to be a asthmatic gay dude with braces who tells bad jokes, and also, has a bunch of fucking huge scars and massive muscles from growing up doing physical labor and fighting in the crisis, and also, a passionate idealist with a very stark sense of justice and fairness who simply could not accept losing what he’d earned.
he’d payed for that land with grief and blood a thousand times over, it was his. he sat around bonfires at their protest camps, singing old maori songs, learning old aboriginie songs, getting tattoos, telling bad jokes over beers. he had to wear a dust mask or the smoke would choke him. his friends teased him about his braces, watched out for his breathing problems, got him cute plushie keychains. he threw molotovs at cops and dragged his friends from their hands and batons. he kissed men and talked about their future, on the land that was theirs.
Genji - Whoever thought kidnapping his kid is a fool with a death wish. He sneaks about, listening in to conversations or just hiding the dark waiting to strike as he attempts to find the ringleader of this group and his child. Once he takes out the fool, he lets out of a deep breath when he sees his child, running up to them and picking them up as he holds them tightly as if he had found a missing part of himself.
Widowmaker - She shows no mercy towards the people holding her child. She shoots them all down or jumps down to knock them out as she demands to know the location of her child, letting the fools choke on smoke as she moves by them. She kicks down the door where her child is held and actually smiles as she holds out her arms for her little flower, gripping onto their clothing tightly as she kisses their cheek, glad to see them alright.
Zarya - Zarya does not play around, busting the door and fighting whoever this to with her gun or with her bare hands. She doesn’t kill anyone but lets them run off in fear like she was some mother bear enraged (which she is). At the sight of her child, she lets out their name and eagerly runs up to them, twirling them around in her arms as she smiles from ear to ear.