chokeslam!

Jon confronts Theon…about darn time too considering he turned down Stannis’ offer to help him reclaim Winterfell in exchange for making him a lord. Theon deserves to be choke slammed! 

belades  asked:

Could you help me out? I recall there being a Japanese myth with a woman named "Tokyo" or something similar, but for the LIFE of me I can't remember the myth or exactly what the woman's name was. I think it might have had something to do with a cliff or the sea, but I might just be getting my wires crossed.

Might you be thinking about Tokoyo?

Once a upon a time, a samurai, name of Oribe Shime, crossed the Emperor. Ill of health and mood, the Emperor exiled the samurai, sending separating him from his daughter, Tokoyo. Tokoyo and her father loved each other very much, and were extremely sad to be separated, so the girl, determined to find her banished father, sold all of her properties and set off on her journey to the Oki Islands, where her father had to live on from now on. Arriving at the old town named Akasaki, Tokoyo asked the local fishermen to give her a hand to the islands, but they all refused to lend her a hand, for it was forbidden to visit those who had been banished, as was assisting those who sought to visit them. 

But Tokoyo is, unlike most female figures in Japanese mythology, not known for being kind or flattering to women, a bona fide killdozer genetically built to get what she desires, so she said “I AM JUST GOING TO LUG MYSELF THERE THEN” and then considered the idea of going Beowulf on the sea’s ass and just swimming across, but settled for just getting a boat (she sold her lands, after all). She went to the Oki Islands, but alas, she couldn’t find her father. She asked the fishermen if they knew where he was, but no one would assist her and they told her to cease her snoopin’ if she didn’t want a whoopin’, so Tokoyo activated Presence Concealment EX and eavesdropped on the conversations of the entire town, but alas, she learned nothing of value.

Defeated, Tokoyo wandered and wandered around the local area, and she eventually came across a shrine. After some vigorous praying to the Buddha, she fell asleep right then and there like a good fatherless hobo. It would’ve been a great nap, EXCEPT a crying girl woke her up. “STOP CRYING OR I WILL GIVE YOU REASONS TO C– Oh yo that ain’t cool” exploded Tokoyo as she got up and noticed that the girl had pretty damn good reasons to be crying loudly, considering a Buddhist monk was about to chokeslam her right off a cliff. “DESIST, RELIGION MAN” she bellowed, preparing her powerful spin kick, one of the top ten moves in the Japanese Myth Fighting World, but she stopped as soon as the monk explained himself. “I’d love to not ragdoll little girls off cliffs, I really would, but see, there’s this rather pissed god, Okuninushi, who is going to get Royally Fucking McPissed if we don’t sacrifice this girl to him after he demanded a sacrifice”

Tokoyo was like “eh, let her go, man, I’ll do it, I got nothing to lose”, since she was pretty down about the whole missing father thing and decided, hey, might as well go out with a bang. So she jumped off the cliff while clenching a dagger between her teeth. Oh yeah, by the way, she had no intention of becoming a sacrifice. Psyche, the plan was “just fucking kick Okuninushi’s ass, because what kind of fucking jerk demands little girls as sacrifices?”, because Tokoyo can do more one-armed push ups than you and I combined, and one has to wonder how the hell her loincloth housed her massive balls.

So Tokoyo straight up swims to the bottom of the ocean because her skin is tougher than submarine pressurized plating and oxygen is for pussies, and upon arriving, she found a really nifty cave so she decided to check it out for sweet loot. And sweet loot she did find! Except it was traumatic sweet loot because she found a statue of the Emperor, which she immediately proceeded to demolish with the nitroglicerin-coated jackhammers she calls her bare hands, because she is still pissed about the whole “he exiled my dad” thing, BUT she stops midway and says “mmm actually I could just carry it to the surface”, and so she just tied the things to her back and effortlessly hoisted the big stone statue and started swimming back to the surface, apparently forgetting her initial god-punching schedule. As soon as she made it out of the cave and started swimming back from the bottom of the ocean with a stone statue strapped to her back, however, a gigantic sea snake creature named Yofune-nushi (which was not Okuninushi and was more or less mythology Godzilla) burst out of the cave and began pursuing Tokoyo. Tokoyo tried her best and swam at full force, fearing for her life, to escape from thPSYCHE, SHE TURNED ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY DEGREES AND WENT DIRECTLY AT THE MONSTER, stabbing its bitch-ass eye with her dagger and then proceeding to pummel the monster with his dagger and her enormous statue-killing fists until she murdered it. If one were to call this a boss fight, the boss was absolutely Tokoyo, certified boss ass bitch and all around killdozer.

Once she finally arrived at the shore, she was well out of stamina (I MEAN, UNDERSTANDABLY SO), but the monk and the little girl from before were there, and they carried her to the town, where her heroic killing of a deep sea abomination with just a dagger and her Bruce Lee Hands earned her acclaim. Moreover, the act of bringing the statue back from the bottom of the ocean apparently lifted a curse on the Emperor, whose illness instantly disappeared. He learned of the event and somehow knew that what Tokoyo had done was what made him healthy again, so in a fit of joy, the Emperor gave Oribe Shime a full pardon, and thus Tokoyo and her father reunited, living happily ever after and returning to their home town, where Tokoyo presumably continued to bully Godzilla and train Sakata Kintoki in the arts of vaporizing oni ass with one hand tied behind the back on her days off when she wasn’t having a simple and clean domestic life with her pops.

Some say that the city of Tokyo has its name in honor of Tokoyo, an homage to her everything, jesus christ, look at the kind of shit she pulled.

anonymous asked:

What would each member do if someone crossed their path with a knife and screamed, "gimme all your money or die!!!!"

Asra would turn them inside out to protect his 62 cents

Nadia would have them thrown in the Humiliation Pit

Julian would let them stab him just for the drama of it all

Muriel would deploy the Chokeslam and whisper “I have no money” while grinding their face into the gravel

Portia would go for the ankles, take the knife and run

Lucio would go into hysterics over the idea that anyone could POSSIBLY hold all his money

6

“It’s a thrill to meet you, sir.”  Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens run into the Undertaker after Raw, and Kevin’s sell of that chokeslam is a thing of joy and beauty. {x}

Why you should fucking love Mikasa Ackerman:

- Badass as hell

- She’s extremely beautiful like just fucking look at her 11/10 most attractive female character of all time she makes straight women say “’god I’d tap that”

- WOC 

- Graduated the top of her class through sheer effort

- Literally described by a top-ranking veteran of the Garrison as a trainee as “worth 100 soldiers”

- Her abs

- She’s so fucking self-conscious of her body like it’s adorable she can kick ass ten ways to Sunday but feels bad that her body is “too manly”

- She

- is

- so

- cute

Originally posted by oozingsurprise

- Flawless in every way

- Actually she has flaws that enhance her realism but she’s still flawless

- She has so much heart it’s ridiculous she cares so fucking much about all her teammates and she risks her life all the time to protect all of them

- She is also highly emotional when she needs to be

- THE CHAPTER 50 FACE

- tHERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO HER THAN HER LOVE FOR EREN AND I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO CHOKESLAM THE NEXT PERSON WHO DEMEANS HER FOR THAT THROUGH THE EARTH’S CORE STRAIGHT TO BEIJING 

- She could literally kick your ass so I wouldn’t be talking too much shit there buddy

- These faces

- She literally smiled when Historia punched Levi like?

- Fucktons of character development

- She’s Mikasa fucking Ackerman and that’s all the reason you need to love her

When You’re Both On Running Man and You Beg Him to Help You as You're Being Pinned Down By an Enemy Member (BTS)

Requested by a lovely anon <3

*Don’t own the gif/s yo*

Author: Taebaby

NAMJOON 남준: This would become his superhero moment. When he saw you lying on your side, calling out to him pitifully, with Jimin kneeling on top of you, he would go hulk and just straight tackle an unsuspecting Jimin off you

YOONGI 윤기: You’d think he’d be the most likely to abondon you, but it’s quite the opposite. He wouldn’t hesitate to come to your rescue (nearly kicking Taehyung off you and across the room) and would keep you close to him for the rest of the challenge

HOSEOK 호석:  Would fucking throw down with Seokjin in a heartbeat. ‘Even though its war, he will not allow his lady to be subjected to such barbaric treatment

SEOKJIN 석진:  Seokjin is a peaceful soul, yes, but he would not hesitate to demolish Hoseok if he ever saw him trying to pin you down (in any context, really). You’d have some solid backup in Jin

JIMIN 지민:  As much as he loved you, he would be reluctant to go against his respectable lead- just kidding, he’d fuckin chokeslam Namjoon if he ever caught him pinning you, lets be honest here

TAEHYUNG 태형: I feel like he’d be a bit extra with it and like pretend to abandon you there, while actually sneaking up on Yoongi, (who was too busy trying to take you down to notice) and tag his ass before he even knew what was up

JUNGKOOK 정국: I feel like this brat would abandon you for real, just cause it was funny lol. But he’d prob make up for it by avenging your disqualification by absolutely destroying whoever it was that took you out

Okay, but Roman and Undertaker really did give us amazing emotion tonight! To watch Undetaker go from being unemotional to annoyed with himself b/c he knew as soon as he chokeslammed Braun, Roman was gonna be waiting with a spear in return. To watch Roman’s jaw twitch when Undertaker rose up from the mat with such ease afterwards, and turn around and seal his faith with so much intensity that his whole body shook, made Roman’s mouth tremble!! This is gonna be a good feud guys!!!

Joe.

Title: Joe
Rating: M (Slight language & adult content)
Characters: Roman Reigns/Anonymous
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the mystery lady.
Summary: The events that occurred after the Monday Night Raw episode on 4/13/2015 where Reigns is chokeslammed on top of the car by the Big Show.
Authors Note: I apologize these are taking so long to post. This was a crazy weekend for me to say the least but they are coming! Also this is the first thing I’ve ever written where I’ve used “Joe” instead.


Joe.

My heart shattered. It shattered into a million tiny little pieces the moment I saw him. He sat slumped over, his long raven hair still wet as it shielded the side of his face from my view. His back toward me I watched from the doorway, daring the stinging sensation in my eyes to turn into actual tears.

Several trainers tried to approach him and each time he fought them away. His heavy muscular shoulders heaved with every ragged breath he took, his legs dangled in front of him from his perch. I noticed him holding his forearm close to his abdomen. He hadn’t been hurt like this in a long time–at least not sense his emergency surgery scare, but seeing him so battered and broken never got any easier for me.

I took a step into the locker room, the men looked up. I think they could tell by the look on my face that I wanted to be alone with him. There was nothing more they could do anyway. He wouldn’t let them. They silently filed out of the room as they brushed past me, apologetic looks etched on their faces. They knew I would be in for a difficult night dealing with him just as much as I did.

Slowly I approached him, praying that when I finally used my voice it wouldn’t betray me. I didn’t need him to know how scared I had been watching that segment with Big Show, the choke slam and that car. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I reached out for him. My fingers trembled before grazing his bare arm from behind.

“I said I didn’t need any fucking attention,” he growled, catching me off guard as he jerked away. I took a step back, a small but audible gasp left my lips in shock while he racked a hand through his hair finally revealing his chiseled jawline and haunting grey eyes.

He looked over his shoulder, wincing as he did. I don’t know if it was due to physical pain or because he realized that I wasn’t a member of the medical staff. I’m sure he noticed the pained expression of his rejection now etched on my face. His eyes instantly softened considerably.

“Shit baby, I’m sorry.. I thought.. Come'mere.” He motioned me around the trainers table with his head, I’m sure because everything else hurt too much to move. My teeth dug nervously into my bottom lip as I stepped around and in between his legs. I unwrapped my arms from around my waist as I rested my palms on top of the fabric of his black tactical pants, against his thighs.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you..” He whispered gravely. His eyes locked on mine and I knew he meant it. “I thought you were one of those fucking trainers..” He shifted and I could instantly tell it was his shoulder that had taken the worse of what Show had given him.

“They’re only trying to help..” I mumbled. It was true. They were only doing what Vince paid them to do. And I’d bet their services cost more here in England. But I also knew that his Samoan pride wouldn’t let him accept any of that help if he knew he could get by without it. He didn’t say anything in response, probably because he knew I was right.

My hands slowly raised to his face, tucking stray strands of his damp hair behind his ears before cupping his face with them as they trembled against my will. His facial hair prickled against my palms as I watched his eyes close and felt him lean into my touch. He let out a heavy sigh.

“If you’re not going to let them help you, let me..” My voice was faint. I knew if I said it any louder those tears I kept trying to force back would surely start to fall. “Let me take care of you, Joe..” I could physically see his body relax, the tense stance of his upper body fading.

“Only you mama, only you..” A chill ran down my spine. His voice did things to me that would be inappropriate to say out loud in front of other people. I watched his eyes flutter open. He turned his head slightly and his lips pressed into my palm. He took his left arm and wrapped it around the back of my thighs pulling me further into him. I stayed mindful of his opposite shoulder, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him more.

His soft lips laid into my own as he kissed me and my knees felt weak. I could feel his neediness. It was rare for Joe to be this fragile, this dependent but on these occasions I knew that even when he didn’t use the words that he needed me to be there for him.

I reluctantly pulled back from his kiss, knowing it was getting late. He needed to get changed and head back to our hotel. “We need to get going.” I said and he nodded his agreement. I stepped back allowing his huge frame room to get up.

He slid down off the table but the moment his feet hit the ground one of his knees buckled under his weight and he stumbled. I reached for him, grabbing onto his good arm as I steadied him. I could see the pain on his face but I didn’t say anything.

Joe leaned on me for support as we trudged back to his locker room. Thankfully I had almost everything ready to go prior to the main event. I could feel his eyes on me as we rounded the last corner, the locker room just mere feet away now.

“What?” I asked softly, his arm wrapped around the back of my neck as I helped him along. I didn’t look at him though. I was too busy concentrating on getting him there without incident.

“I love you..” He answered as we now stood just outside the door marked Roman Reigns. My heart flipped, I’d never grow tired of hearing that beautiful man say those three little words.

He reached out to open the door, shuffling his feet a little better than before. I ushered him into the room and closed the door behind us. “I love you too, J.” I whispered as I helped him walk to the black leather couch.

He slumped down, hissing through clenched teeth as the jolt jarred his shoulder. I knew I’d have to help him out of his gear and into a change of clothes if we wanted to get to our bed before dawn. I walked to his open suitcase and started pulling out clothes.

—-

I awoke with a jerk, sitting straight up in bed clutching the sheets to my bare chest. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room I turned my head to see that Joe wasn’t beside me. The bed was empty.

I tossed the covers back as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. The clock on the nightstand lit up with bright red digits. 3:34am. I tucked my hair behind my ears as I grabbed the first article of clothing I came to. Joe’s light blue dress shirt from the media interviews he had done that morning.

I slipped the oversized button down on, buttoning enough of the buttons so that my body was covered. When I stepped into the front room I could see Joe through the sliding glass door. He stood next to the balcony railing, his long hair blowing in the wind.

I slowly padded across the room, sliding the door back just enough for my body to slip out. I wrapped my arms around my waist, holding his shirt tight against me. The breeze sent a chill over me when my bare feet hit the cold cement. Joe acknowledged the sound of the door as I closed it behind me. I watched him look back at me over his shoulder just as he had done earlier.

“Did I wake you?” He asked, his voice a low rumble. I could tell he was tired but I’m sure he was up because of his shoulder. He had gotten most of the feeling back into his fingers before we had fallen asleep which was a good sign.

I walked to him, wrapping my arms around his body from behind gently. I pressed my palms flat against his abdomen, feeling the heat radiating off of him. I pressed my lips to his bare back, kissing him softly once or twice over his spine.

“No baby, you didn’t. You okay?” I could feel every breath he took, his abs tensing up as he spoke.

“I’m fine. I just got too stiff laying down. Been out here about an hour now…” He moved, taking his good arm to pull me around and up close to his side. His grey eyes cast down, eyeing his shirt as it hung off my shoulder on one side.

“An hour?” I questioned, looking up to meet his gaze. A smile played at his lips. He loved when I wore his shirts and I couldn’t help but to smile back. I had missed that gorgeous feature these last few hours.

“You left me alone in bed for an hour?” I smirked, turning around to lean up against the rail as I crossed my arms over my chest. I tilted my head to the side giving him my famous pouty lip.

“You wearin’ anything under my shirt, sweet pea?” His voice was now low and husky, it sent a chill down my spine that had nothing to do with the wind. A giggle escaped from my lips as he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“Nope.” I answered simply even though we both knew that Joe had already known the answer to his question. He leaned down, taking my lips with his own in a heated kiss. I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip and I granted him entrance to my mouth.

After a few moments he pulled back, his chest heaving slightly. I felt his fingertips ghost down my arm to the hem of his t-shirt. I shivered as I felt them tracing lines up my bare thigh.

“Baby…” My breath caught in my throat when his fingertips floated to the inner thigh and I swore I could feel lightening on the end of his touch. “Please. You’re hurt. You.. Need.. To.. Rest..” With every word that left my lips his fingers trailed higher and breathing became harder.

Joe closed the small gap between us, his hair falling forward into his face as he leaned down to bury his face in the nape of my neck. I gasped as his teeth grazed the sweet spot only Joe knew about. He bought his lips to my ear.

“I’d have to be unconscious in a hospital bed somewhere before I’d be too hurt to make love to you..” He whispered, his breath hot on my skin. “I may be down, but I’m not out by any means. I let you take care of me earlier, now I’m going to take care of you.”

I felt his good arm snake around my waist, gripping my opposite hip. He raised his head a little, “put your arms around my neck.” I did as I was told, locking them securely. I yelped in surprise when he lifted me with one arm and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist.

I could hear him growl as he took my lips with his own again. He undoubtedly could feel the heat of my center as it now rubbed against his side. I tried to push the worry of his injury to the back of my mind. If this is what he wanted I couldn’t deny him.

Joe walked me back into the hotel room, the darkness engulfing us. My lips pressed against his in a haphazard kiss, my hands racking through his hair. “Are you sure about this, Joe? I don’t want to hurt you, I know how you can be..”

He growled his response as he laid me back down on the bed, still clutching his injured arm to his abdomen. He looked down at me and started to push his shorts down his legs. “If you know how I can be than you should know once you’ve turned me on…” His voice trailed as he crawled up onto the mattress. He kissed his way up between my legs as he held his body weight up with the one hand.

“There’s no stopping me..” He finished, a lusty smirk on his face.

“Joe…” His name left my lips on the end of a moan as his lips again connected with my skin. I started to unbutton the first few buttons of his dress shirt when I felt him bite the inside of my thigh in protest.

“Stop.. That’s enough.” He said, smirking again at the amount of cleavage that was now showing. “Leave it on for me baby girl…” I melted into the mattress. I could feel the dull ache for him within me getting stronger by the second. This man was too much.

End.

On Deacon (footnote)

Everyone going on about how Deacon isn’t a romance option and I’m like …????

Because my Survivor has dragged Mr. Incognito back and forth across this murder trap of a state for the mere pleasure of his company. They have assaulted super mutant strongholds, dodging dog-monsters and missile fire for the singular purpose of retrieving a collectable Vault-Tec bobblehead. They have been imprisoned in a cannibalistic meat processing plant. They have waded waist-deep in the swampy marshes of the perilous south end. The two of them – TWO – have besieged the Gunners mercenary compound in Quincy. My Survivor has led Deeks into the irradiated hellhole known as the Glowing Sea for no better reason than he was bored. Instead of popping a stealthboy and sneaking away like Deacon’s every instinct tells him, he has helped charge down mirelurks as big as houses; deathclaws that can chokeslam a full grown man; even pissed off even the boogeyman of the Boston Common, the beast of legend, Swan.

That is not fucking Railroad business. They aren’t gathering intel when they’re rummaging through a tetanus-ridden junkyard in Podunk, USA. And after the thirtieth deathclaw it’s clear the Survivor doesn’t need Deacon to protect their dumb butt. In my mind there is no other freaking explanation for Deacon sticking around to face down death at the Survivor’s whim other than because he is hopelessly in love.

And people think he doesn’t love the player character…. why? Because he doesn’t say it? Well of course he doesn’t say it; if he did the Survivor would doubt the honesty and sincerity of it, because that’s what he has been training them to do from the start.

So, to (loosely) quote Deacon himself: “Hello, Words. I’m Actions, and I’m speaking awfully loud right now…”

I got a bunch of asks about beast Djura and I wanted to draw something for them but then uni chokeslammed me and I never did so they’re still in the inbox as I am terrible 

He’s a tiny grabby beast that likes to steal guns so he can take them apart and then try to put back together. They tend to be full of fur and explode shortly after, he’s pleased with this result 

Eileen took him in but sleeps in a barrel of gunpowder