chocolate-coating

That is not funny
That is not cute
It is animal abuse
BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE
BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE
Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason.
You idiots can have all the chuckles you want over the fact that that poor animal is “living the dream” but I hope you also know that it probably died from that.
And if you still find it funny then I genuinely do not want to associate with you and can only wish upon you the most the most painful and awful death imaginable.

✧ *.🎃Samhain Solitary Rituals🎃*✧

As the air grows cooler and the winds begin to howl and rip the dead leaves from trees, we know the veil is thin and Samhain is near! After the equinox, which was equal parts night and day, Samhain marks the time of the wheel that we descend into the darker half of the year. It’s this time of the year that communication and connection to the spirit world is a lot easier and we’ve grown accustomed to making wards to protect the home from malevolent energy in the form of jack o lanterns and lights. On a positive note it is a time to leave out treats and foods for passed away loved ones and to remember them. It’s the final harvest full of well spiced comfort autumn foods as well as a ‘New Year’ since it’s a sabbat that honors the natural cycle of death and sees it as a form of transformation.

A lot of us witches practice alone and have our own solitary rituals for each sabbat that we observe (or the ones we’ve created just for ourselves that we observe alone!) Like any solitary eclectic witch I do things my own different way but some of these things might line up with others practices. I do refer to some of the equinoxes/solstices/crossquarters by their celtic sabbat names but I celebrate them in a secular animist way and treat the wheel of the year I celebrate as more of an argrarian cycle and celebrating nature. I use sabbat names as a point of reference and also people that do celebrate these witches sabbats more traditionally might find value in my personal practice!  Here is my personal correspondences post and my personal samhain tag!

When I am alone and casting spells a lot of it is visualization/intent so my solitary rituals are more like activities I like to do then specifically casting a spell. If I am doing a spell with an activity based on it a lot would be listening to music to get in the mood and focusing on a candle while visualizing for a period of time! Eves are also important to my celebration as I like to stay up until midnight and cast a spell then!


Hallow’s Eve

Tuesday October 31st 2017

  • Dressing up in your most witchiest
    Ok every year I’m a witch, whether it’s just a lazy witch in my black clothing or an over the top kitschy witch with colorful hair and electric colored make up, but I just like to have these looks casually on Halloween day cause its amazing and a chance for me to be myself!

  • Pumpkin Carving!
    If you haven’t already tonight is definitely the night for pumpkin carving! Write sigils inside your pumpkin for protective magic. I love this DIY for a pumpkin indoor lantern cause it shows how to rub spices like cinnamon and nutmeg inside to achieve that sent of pumpkin pie in the home. Use electric candles instead of flame if you want it to last the night since the flame’s heat will cook the pumpkin.

  • Mini Pumpkin Tea lights
    Also an easier alternative to carving if you don’t have much time. Even gutting the mini pumpkins takes a lot of time for me but doing so and filling them with a black tea light will make an excellent centerpiece either for your altar or feast table!

  • Making Candy Apples
    I associate candy coated sweet red apples with halloween (and caramel/maple sugar on granny smith for mabon) and I love how you can make the candy various colors like a poisonous black or vibrant blood red!

  • Setting sweets aside for spirits
    So everyone has spirits that chill with them and it would be great to show appreciation for the positive spirits that surround you. Set some sweets on a dish and make a tiny altar for them in your space.

  • Enjoying sweets while doing crafts!
    Enjoy some of that halloween candy for yourself! My favorite treats on this night are chocolate coated donuts, reeses cups, cider sugar donuts, red licorice and apple cider.

  • Watching a spooky or Halloween themed movie
    Or halloween themed film. My favorite will always be the 80s halloween special The Worst Witch with Tim curry. I watch it religiously.

  • Spirit Contact
    I wouldn’t suggest using an Ouija board or doing any communication with spirits if you have never had experience. They can be rude and harass you, YET if you are experienced and know how to guard yourself, then this is a great night to play with an ouija board! (PS I think Ouija Girl has a great informative blog about working with ouija boards. Here is her FAQ page. But still, it’s always better to do work with a medium or someone with experience than trying to figure it out alone).

    A safer experience for someone with no spirit communication experience is attending a seance! In NYC there are a few mediums that hold seances monthly. I love the one at Catland in Brooklyn, the mediums that host the event there are fantastic. It might be hard to attend an authentic one on Halloween night since a lot of people will want to just try to cash in on creating a 'spooky’ experience, but if you really want, try to get in contact with mediums and ask if they host any seance events. Important to know: usually the spirits that chill around you are guides and family and they might have more info to give you then you might be ready for. My first seance I really don’t know what to do with the info given to me but I really hope I make the best of it and don’t mess anything up.

  • Witches Flight
    This is like an extension of the previous point where if you have never done this before just completely disregard this suggestion cause flying is dangerous. For many years witches have flown on Halloween night to other realms using flying ointments.

  • Protective Magic:
    Finally, protect yourself from the high spirit activity with crystals like black tourmaline, obsidian and spirit quartz. Do protective spells for any cats you see or live with especially black cats since they tend to be targets.
      

Midnight Spell:

  • This sabbat honors the natural cycle of death and transformation. Focus on what you want to transform in your life. Magic on this night is very powerful so think about it before hand and make sure it is what you want for if you ask to transform something, you might find a lot of endings that suddenly occur in your life to lead to the transformations that you want. (There was a conversation on here I can no longer find but it was put  really nicely that death is not just some simple 'transformative’ process it can be very drastic, often very uncomfortable and if you are not ready though you ask for something to change, you might not be ready for the new obstacles that will be thrown at you. Just know that you will be ready for what you ask for.)
  • Some spell activities can be shuffling the deck visualizing what you want to change and then finding the death card and seeing the card that follows will be your answer to seek how you can further bring that transformation closer.
  • I’m a mixologist and enjoy working with liquor for rituals. I find fire to be a great transformer yet instead of burning something I prefer blessing a shot of whiskey or absinthe with my intent then taking it like liquid fire to transform me within. If you do not like alcohol or can not drink it for whatever reason you can perform this with hot apple cider instead!



Samhain Day

Wednesday, November 1st 2017

  • Upon the day I like to dress in complete black. My makeup is very dark and I wear long black dresses and veils. Depending on how you want to honor the dead, dress how you wish.

  • Gravesweeping
    Visit your loved ones on this day and leave flowers and gifts on their grave! If you want you can also visit any cemetery, yet make sure to practice good graveyard etiquette. Leave a penny by the gate, do not sit or lean on any tomb stones, of course don’t take anything from a grave. Be respectful of those whom are resting.

  • Close Your Garden
    This is a time to close the garden for the winter to come. Harvest the last fruits and herbs and bring in any delicate potted plants within the home.

  • Shadow Work
    Especially if you are looking to transform some aspect of your life this is a great time to do shadow work and look within if you are creating any obstacles for yourself. Get to know your shadow self, get to solve problems together. This is also an excellent day for divination and scrying.

  • Meditation and Energy Work by the base of a tree
    I love to do energy work on the days of the sabbats yet as the earth grows colder, the roots dig deeper and the world goes into hibernation. Sit at the base of a tree preferably with thick roots and feel it’s connection to the cold earth beneath you. Dig into yourself and see what needs to rest and what needs to be healed.

Evening
Celebratory Feast

  • So in many practices people like to host a dumb supper but instead I like to have a lively feast where everyone will share a story about someone they loved that passed away or a story of an ancestor in their family. At the end of each tale we toast our glasses to them! (And pour a little bit of drink to them or set aside a snack if they are not into alcohol.)

  • Hold a feast of rich comfort foods that are spiced and sweet like sweet potato mash, candied brown beans, pumpkin bread, smokey bourbon pulled pork or maple glazed beef brisket, roasted carrots and beets and (I personally love to make baked mac and cheese but its a fall comfort soul food for me). My Samhain feast is abundant with fall soul foods and sweet roots and spices. (here is a fantasy feast post and my personal feast post from last year)

  • If you are alone (as this is a solitary post), make a few fall dishes you deeply enjoy or cook the favorites of loved relatives that have passed away, eat some sweets and set out some offerings to passed away loved ones.
Witchy Kitchen:  Rose Cremes

Rose Creams

  • 3 tablespoons each heavy cream and Rooh Afza syrup. Next time I might tweak this to 4 tablespoons cream, 2 Rooh Afza
  • 10+ ounces powdered sugar
  • 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
  • 2 teaspoons peanut oil

In a medium bowl, whisk together heavy cream and Rooh Afza syrup. Sift 10 ounces of powdered sugar and stir into the liquid until thoroughly combined. Add more sugar by the tablespoon until the mixture is very thick and starting to come together as a ball (although the Daily Mail wants you to be able to knead this on the counter, mine wasn’t anywhere close to that and wasn’t getting there even after 6 tablespoons, so I stopped there. Things worked out ok).

Cover with plastic wrap and put in the fridge for at least an hour and up to overnight.

Use the mixture to make ½ tablespoon-sized balls, which you can flatten slightly into disks, then place them in two batches on powdered sugar-dusted plates. Make sure the mixture stays cool so it doesn’t get too sticky, and coat your hands well with powdered sugar to make rolling them more manageable. Place in the fridge while you prepare the chocolate.

In a double boiler, melt the chocolate chips with the peanut oil, stirring occasionally. When they are thoroughly melted, remove from heat and cool for 10 minutes.

Line a baking sheet with wax paper. Using two forks, dip and roll each of the rosy fondant disks in the chocolate to coat, working quickly so as not to melt them. Place each on the wax paper and cool completely until the chocolate has hardened.

Makes about 30 disks, give or take a couple.

Geode Cake pops


Yields 2 to 4 dozen

The things you’ll need

Ingredients
  • 1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon cinnamon
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 1/3 cups sugar
  • 2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 1/3 cup water
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • ½ cup cream
  • ½ cup chopped chocolate
  • Dark chocolate coating chocolate
  • White & gold sanding sugar
  • Ro’s Sugar Gems
Equipment
  • Stand mixer with paddle attachment
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Small bowl
  • Whisk
  • Rubber spatula
  • Ice cream scoop
  • 9 by 13-inch cake pan lined with parchment paper
  • Lollipop sticks
  • Brown & white royal icing in decorating bags fitted with #2 tips
  • Baking spray
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment paper

Let’s get started!

  1. Preheat oven to 325°F.
  2. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add sugars and whisk together until well combined.
  3. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, water, vanilla extract, sour cream, and oil. Mix together until well combined.
  4. Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and whisk together until well incorporated.
  5. Pour batter into a greased and lined pan and then tap the pan on the counter to remove air bubbles.
  6. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes.
  7. Remove cake and allow it to cool completely. Cut cake into portions and then mix portions in a stand mixer with a paddle attachment for 3 minutes.
  8. Microwave cream for one minute and then pour over chopped chocolate. Whisk until well combined.
  9. Pour ganache over the cake crumbs and then mix with paddle attachment on low speed for 2 to 3 minutes.
  10. Roll cake balls smooth and then use your fingers to press a cavity in the center.
  11. Place cake balls on a baking sheet lined with parchment and refrigerate for an hour.

Time to decorate!

  1. Dip a lollipop stick into dark chocolate and then insert into a cake ball. Do this for the rest of your cake pops and then refrigerate them for 30 minutes.
  2. Dip cake balls into dark coating chocolate and then allow them to dry.
  3. Use brown royal icing to attach sugar gems to the inside of each cake ball. Allow to dry completely.
  4. Pipe a thin line of white royal icing around the edge of each geode and then coat in white and gold sanding sugar.
  5. TaDa! Rock the party with these amazing Geode Cake Pops!
Orange Tulips (M)

Originally posted by kookiefly

=> Jeon Jungkook. Soulmate!AU. Reincarnation!AU 

Summary: You’d remember Jungkook with every life you lived. Only he’d never remember you, never recall how your fates were written in the stars since the beginning of time.

Genre: Angst. Fluff. Light Smut

Words: 10,294

a/n: This is a roller coaster of emotions, but it has a happy endng because I’m a sap and didn’t want to make myself cry.


He came to you like a breath of fresh air, cleansing your body and bringing life to your bones. He was the type of art that only existed on grainy canvases of white, beautiful colors blending together to form a perfection to your eyes. He was the smell of fresh rain on a summers afternoon, peculiar and satisfying mixed into nothing other than complete and utter fondness on your part.

He was your other half.

He just didn’t know it.

Keep reading

the princess bride; starter sentences.

  • ❛ Hello. My name is _____. You killed my father. Prepare to die. ❜
  • ❛ You mock my pain. ❜
  • ❛ Life is pain, _____. Anyone who says differently is selling something. ❜
  • ❛ You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. ❜
  • ❛ We’ll never survive. ❜
  • ❛ Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has. ❜
  • ❛ Get used to disappointment. ❜
  • ❛ I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. ❜
  • ❛ That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. ❜
  • ❛ The battle of wits has begun. ❜
  • ❛ Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. ❜
  • ❛ You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept. ❜
  • ❛ Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life. ❜
  • ❛ Have you ever considered piracy? ❜
  • ❛ Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… ❜
  • ❛ I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains. ❜
  • ❛ Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning. ❜
  • ❛ Hear this now: I will always come for you. ❜
  • ❛ This is true love - you think this happens every day? ❜
  • ❛ That does put a damper on our relationship. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve seen worse. ❜
  • ❛ We’ll never succeed. We may as well die here. ❜
  • ❛ I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand? ❜
  • ❛ Do you always begin conversations this way? ❜
  • ❛ I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. ❜
  • ❛ Please understand I hold you in the highest respect. ❜
  • ❛ You’ve done nothing but study swordplay? ❜
  • ❛ You seem a decent fellow… I hate to kill you. ❜
  • ❛ You seem a decent fellow… I hate to die. ❜
  • ❛ Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely. ❜
  • ❛ Go through his clothes and look for loose change. ❜
  • ❛ Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. ❜
  • ❛ You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces. ❜
  • ❛ You killed my love. ❜
  • ❛ You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. ❜
  • ❛ I do not envy the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women. ❜
  • ❛ There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours. ❜
  • ❛ I’m not a witch, I’m your wife. But after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more. ❜
  • ❛ Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what? ❜
  • ❛ When I was your age, television was called books. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. ❜
  • ❛ You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword, and we’ll try and kill each other like civilized people? ❜
  • ❛ Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that? ❜
  • ❛ Oh no, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future. ❜
  • ❛ For the last time, surrender! ❜
  • ❛ You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen. ❜
  • ❛ I challenge you to a battle of wits. ❜
  • ❛ I died that day! ❜
  • ❛ Beautiful isn’t it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. ❜
  • ❛ Look, I don’t mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t distract me. ❜
  • ❛ There will be blood tonight! ❜
  • ❛ Is this a kissing book? ❜
  • ❛ That’s a miracle pill? ❜
  • ❛ The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. ❜
  • ❛ Please consider me as an alternative to suicide. ❜
  • ❛ They’re kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts? ❜
  • ❛ You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble one of these days. ❜
  • ❛ I suppose you think you’re brave, don’t you? ❜
  • ❛ I will never love again. ❜
  • ❛ You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted. ❜
  • ❛ I’d rather eat lint! ❜
  • ❛ As you wish. ❜
  • ❛ While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? ❜
  • ❛ I can cope with torture. ❜
  • ❛ Am I going mad, or did the word “think” escape your lips? ❜
  • ❛ Australia is entirely peopled with criminals! ❜
  • ❛ Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting. ❜
  • ❛ Anybody want a peanut? ❜
  • ❛ Do you hear that? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. ❜
  • ❛ Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies. ❜
  • ❛ Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up. ❜
  • ❛ That doesn’t leave much time for dilly-dallying. ❜
  • ❛ You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work. ❜
Since I’ve Been Loving You

Title: Since I’ve Been Loving You

Summary: When a hunt brings you and the Winchesters back together, feelings that have been kept under wraps for a while now need to be adressed. And you don’t want that. Right?

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester 

Word count: 3873 (Oopsie? Jk, not even sorry)

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Abduction, mentions of torture, violence and blood. Allusions to sexual harrassment (minor and non-detailed). Alcohol consumption, medical attention. Language. That’s about it, I think.

Author’s Notes: This is my (very, very late) sumbission for @ravengirl94 1.5K challenge. Twin, congratulations for that milestone and every milestone after that because you only deserve the best (even if you almost killed us all with Firefighter!Dean). Also. I’m so sorry this took me forever. I hope I made it worth the wait.

Special thank you to @becominglionhearted because I wanted this to be a complete surprise for twin, so she was kind (and awesome) enough to read parts of it over for me.

Now, my prompt for this was “I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to try to rescue me.” “Yeah, well, I have a thing for obvious traps. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” (yes, I love it, too) and it’s included in bold in the text below.

Without further ado. Enjoy <3

Originally posted by sensitivehandsomeactionman


There were no lights in the small room in which the demons kept you captive.

Instead, there was a rickety looking table, a broken lamp and a large window with rotten shutters, wavy and yellowed. The room was cold, its wallpapers peeled off by the ever-present mildew, and even though it wasn’t the first time you had spent almost two days tied to the only chair there, you were still not used to its grotesqueness.

Blinking owlishly, you tried to ignore the way your head pounded by focusing on the bruises that littered your skin, arbitrary patterns of color where your capturer had left his mark.

Admittedly, Ebony Eyes was taking his sweet, sweet time with you –and you had your own theory as to why that was the case, but the fight you’d put when he captured you along with the punching and the carving that had taken place during your interrogation were enough to make you squeal in pain.

“I have to admit,” Doyle hissed, wagging his head in disappointment, “I was expecting your little boy toy to be here by now. It’s been two days, for Crowley’s sake.”

Keep reading

Committed

I’m really not sure about the ending but I didn’t want to keep you waiting any longer! Thank you for reading and for being so excited about me writing again after months of nothing- it means the whole world and more (also thank you if you’ve even bothered to read this boring, sappy note). 

Enjoy my lovelies and let me know your thoughts, I’m quite proud of the most part of this xx

Originally posted by ohstylesno

Keep reading

Something Sweet

Dean x Reader

Ice cream for breakfast leads to something sweeter.

Warnings: NSFW, Fluff, making out, explicit smut quickie, hunting injury.  
WC: 1669 On AO3

A/N: This is for @atari-writes Birthday Challenge- Happy Birthday! Prompts are L and #8 in bold. And for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog RomCom Fluff Challenge, Prompt #52 from Never Been Kissed in bold italics. 


It’d been a rough hunt. Sam, Dean, and I had been ambushed by more vamps than we expected, and barely made it out of there alive. Two hundred miles later we were home and as the Impala rolled into the garage I slowly opened my eyes. Dean turned the car off and looked over his shoulder.

“Wake up, sweetheart. We’re home.” He opened the driver’s side door and crawled out before opening the backdoor. “Can you walk by yourself?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you write something like dam doesnt want phil to film 'a sleepless night with phil' cos he wants to cuddle in bed ((and maybe gibe him a lazy blowjob and falling asleep whilst doing it)) just something pure n innocent

Phil shouldn’t have eaten all those chocolate-coated coffee beans. When he was sat in front of the TV, shovelling handful after handful into his mouth, he hadn’t even considered that they’re probably jam-packed with caffeine. Now, as he lies in bed staring at the ceiling, he’s a little too aware of the fact.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You know that "who you should fight" meme? Could you do a BSD version of it, if it's not too much to ask?

(Ngl this may be the best thing I’ve ever answered)

WHO YOU SHOULD FIGHT

ADA

Atsushi: You win(?)

  • Walk right up to him and beat the ever-loving shit of him. He’ll apologize to you. An easy fight, just don’t slip in any tasteless orphan jokes, it’ll have the opposite effect intended and he’ll take you the fuck out with the pure intent to prove he’s worthy. You could beat him but the psychological weight of crushing someone so innocent will ensure that you never feel right again. Fight him if you have no soul.

Dazai: You lose

  • He’ll turn the whole affair into a big joke. If you, by some stroke of luck, actually hit him, he’ll probably just say ‘harder daddy’. The psychological effects of brawling Dazai will be devastating either way. DO. NOT.  FIGHT.

Ranpo: You win

  • Honestly, it’s hardly worth your time. He hasn’t eaten anything but chocolate cake and cheap lollipops for the last six years, not to mention any form of physical exercise. He’s got pale-ass noodle arms and a muffin top (don’t believe the official art’s lies. The bitch eats solely from a candy shop and looks like he just topped off a cycling session with Jillian Micheals? Get the fuck out). Just don’t bring a Jolly Rancher shiv because he’ll eat the damn thing. Undoubtedly fight, just be prepared to book it like a fucking librarian after you knock him out because the rest of the ADA will come after you.

Kyouka: Depends 

  • Look, fourteen’s a shitty age even when you’re not dealing with pressing morality crises.There is nothing Kyouka wants more in this world than to dial herself, let Demon Snow rip and raise her kill count to thirty seven. But all you gotta do to keep her at bay is debate on morality like Matthew fucking Murdock in Netflix’s Daredevil. If you can successfully hold her back with discussion on ethics (and how hers will be jack-shit if she slaughters you) you have a slim chance of victory. A great fight if you need to practice for speech class.

Kunikida: You lose

  • You might think victory’s as simple as tossing his notebook in a nearby water fountain and watching him flip a lid, but this is an absolutely awful tactic and the inside of your head will be decorating the sidewalk in mere milliseconds. He beats Dazai’s band-aid wrapped flanks on the daily and he won’t hesitate to destroy yours. If you fight, at least your cause of death can be listed as ‘blonde beefcake’s rippling biceps’.

Kenji: You win

  • Just feed him a few bowls of Spaghetti-o’s before you deck him and the little blonde bitch won’t stand a chance. You can smack him back into the cultist backwater rice paddies he crawled out of easy as smacking a crippled fly. A perfect fight for abusing a fourteen year old without getting into too much trouble. 

Fukuzawa: You lose

  • You might think you could dress up in a kitty costume and sneak up to him. And you could. It would be easy, in fact. He’s so focused on the cuteness he won’t notice any maliscious intent. Despite this his reflexes are simply too quick and he’ll still take you the fuck out when you make your move. A bad fight from all angles. You’ll have to fend off his adopted, dysfunctional ADA children too. Just don’t.

PORT MAFIA

Akutagawa: Depends (99.5% losing chance. risky.)

  • Yeah, you’re fucked. Akutagawa won’t even wait until you initiate, he’ll be the one attacking you, probably over something minor and stupid like the color of your pants is personally offensive. Rashomon will be slicing and dicing you into a smoothie for cannibals before you know what hit you. The only way you make it out alive is if by some stroke of luck Dazai happens to be in a one hundred mile radius and Akutagawa’s senpai-radar starts going off. Fight only if you bring My Chemical Romance vinyls to punt at him; they’re his biggest weakness .

Chuuya: Depends (99.75% losing chance. Cross thy fingers and pray)

  • Facing Chuuya is a bigger risk than that board game. He’s practically impervious to all close-up melee and he’s too small of a target to be hit with anything from afar. You might think you’d have a fighting chance if you knocked his hat off; after all, that’s basically all he is. A hat rack prone to alcoholism. But that fury will only make him stronger and he’ll crush you like you’re a cum-covered Dazai body pillow. As with Akutagawa your only glimmer of hope for survival is if bandage-kun happens to be close by because Chuuya will prioritize and leave your now crippled ass in the dust that he punted you in. Only fight while intoxicated. (Both of you. Not just him. It’s more fun that way. Much like Turkish oil wrestling but with more gravity.)

Mori: You lose

  • If you want to fight him you’ve obviously got a death wish and I’m not going to stop you. There’s easier ways to go though, man. Easier ways. His expression won’t even change when he whips out that scalpel (I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school) and filets you like a fresh caught tuna, on its way to a B-rated fast food join. Your body’s gonna get left on the pavement for the stray dogs. (No, I’m not gonna finish that joke. Low hanging fruit. I have some dignity.) If you want to die that bad, just go see if Dazai will suicide with you. It’ll be significantly less painful

Elise: I fucking dare you

  • I mean, you probably could take her out, she’s like seven. Mori will let her play skip rope with your small intestine after she’s recovered. Rest In Peace if you even consider it.

Kouyou: You lose

  • I don’t know what would inspire you to be so stupid. She’ll just let out a dignified little chuckle and shove that umbrella sword so far up your ass you’ll be tasting acid rain for months, and she’ll do it all in the most ladylike way possible. Unless you’re ready for your innards to end up in a teapot, served with chocolate-coated orange wafers at tea break, just don’t fight.

Oda: ???

  • He’s fucking dead. What are you gonna do, kick his headstone, maybe plant some weeds over his grave? Just don’t mention the burnt orphan soup, or he’ll literally rise and put you in his coffin instead. If you’re willing to dabble into necromancy, knock yourself (or him, in this case) out.

Q: Haha

  • I get why you’d want to fight him, I really do. He looks like a miniature Cruella Deville on an acid trip. But you just don’t have a chance. Hit him. Go ahead. As soon as you so much as brush him he has the power to destroy your shit like it’s never been destroyed before. Will annihilate you from the inside out. The deadliest emo thirteen year old there’s ever been; avoid at all costs!!!

Higuchi: You LOSE

  • You might think you have a chance because she doesn’t have an ability. But you’re gravely mistaken. Higuchi is bitter. Higchi is ruthless. Higuchi does not give a fuck about anything other than getting Emotagawa-senpai to notice her. She has nothing, nothing to lose and she will not rest until she’s pulling your tonsils through your asshole in the hopes that Akutagawa will give her a thumbs-up for slaughtering you. DO NOT fight. She stands to lose nothing and gain everything.

THE GUILD

Hawthorne: You lose

  • You might think that you’d have a fighting chance because he’s a priest and priest’s aren’t supposed to wreck people’s shit but he will see your sins and you won’t even see him coming. Try to punch him his ability is literally activated by injuries. Knocks you out with a psalter hymnal and ships you off to Bible camp while you’re unconscious.  Only fight if you have never sinned, not once, ever.

Steinbeck: Depends

  • If you’re from the city he’ll destroy you. Farm boys always tear apart city people no questions asked. If that fact doesn’t dissuade you then just prepare yourself not to be freaked the fuck out when he jack-knifes his own neck and starts sprouting flora. As long as you keep your cool you’ve got a 30/70 chance. Only fight if you bring a metric fucktonne of weed killer.

Poe: You win (biggest douchecanoe award, but that’s about it)

  • Physically, sure, you could sneeze within fifty feet of his pasty ass and take him down. But really? Do you really want to hurt him? He’ll stare right into your soul with those sad, sad eyes and wonder just what he did to inspire such bitterness in you. If you can still fuck him up after that then you’d best kiss your spirit goodbye because it’s descending to the seventh level of fiery hell as you read this. Plus, honestly, there’s no true triumph against a man whose best bud is a raccoon. That’s just too rad. If you can deal with the pressing moral consequences and a pissed off  raccoon, go for it. (You monster)

Mitchell: You win

  • All you have to do is push her hospital bed down the stairs and pretend it was an accident. Her comatose ass can’t do a thing to stop you. Fight if you’re ready to run from angry hospital staff.

Fitzgerald: You lose 

  • You know, this sentient sack of Benjamins deserves it, in all honesty, but don’t try. Him and his power suit will kick you into the next millennia before you can say ‘old sport’. Prepare to be crushed by capitalism.

Melville: You win

  • He’s like eighty and his ability’s a goddamn floating whale. As long as you don’t throw down at Sea World, you’re good. Fight as long as you’re not in front of an assisted living facility; the CNAs will think he’s a resident and defend him.

Lovecraft: Depends

  • Attack him while he’s trying to nap and he’ll be too lazy to get up. Otherwise… yeah, just google ‘Cthulhu’. You’ll get the idea. Don’t fight: there’s no beating weaponized tentacle porn.

Montgomery: You lose

  • Go right ahead and try, she’ll whisk you away to her Melanie-Martinez ass torture dimension and let Anne mop the floor with your teeth. It’s kind of like challenging God. Unless you want to spend eternity in an unsexy rip-off of the 50 shades Red Room, DO. NOT. ENGAGE.

Twain: You win

  • Twain’s all talk, anybody that walks around with their titties hanging out 24/7 is definitely trying to distract from something. In this case he’s trying to fool people into thinking he’s not a dictionary-definition pussy. Rip the heads off his muppet babies and he doesn’t even have an ability anymore, the schmuck. Fight when you’re looking for a quick self-esteem boost. 

Alcott: You win

  • This poor woman does not deserve to be tortured anymore than she already is by the weight of her own social awkwardness, but if you really insist: make a derogatory comment and she’s basically down for the count already, no physical contact necessary. If you really want to dominate, just steal her glasses and she instantly morphs into a significantly less foxy Velma Dinkley. Also significantly less prone to self defense. An A-1 fight for when you’re looking to cement residency in Hell.

OTHER

Ango: Depends

  • You would think his beanpole ass would be an easy target. You’d be wrong, though. So very wrong. He’s been chugging tomato juice like it’s his job for the past forever and he’s got a snazzy pair of handcuffs he’s just dying to break out. If you sabotage basic safety features on his car, though, he’s a goner. Just sneakily unbuckle his seat belt while he’s driving and you’ve basically defeated him right then and there. A good fight for practicing strategic tactics and subtle vehicle vandalism.

Fyodor: You lose

  • Just ask A how that one turned out. Actually, ask anyone in the manga what throwing down with Fyodor entails. (Unless you only watch the anime, then just wait for the season three that we’re probably not getting) He’ll escort you personally to the gates of hell with a flick to your forehead. Then he’ll step right over your still-warm corpse and start playing the cello with that unnecessarily wide leg-spreadage. Mess with this sentient ushanka hat and he’ll uSHANKa you.
NYC Pride 2017: "Take my hand, pup. Let's be proud together."

Thursday

Today’s the day  Master and I met at Penn Station. After coffees and Shake Shack, we made our way to the hotel. We stayed at Paramount in the Theatre District. Master was so exhausted, I offered to check us in early. SUCCESS! We slept for a few hours then began our afternoon. Master took me to my first ever barber. It was a special place for Master and Alpha: Made Men in Chelsea. After, we journeyed to Nasty Pig and Mr. Turk while stopping for poke along the way. It was such a beautiful day. We had to leave a little sooner than expected from Mr Turk for our date day plans. Master gave me permission to plan a date day for him. I planned our date to be meaningful and packed our itinerary with memorable experiences.


[Before writing about our date, I feel it’s important to share a beautiful and significant pillar of our relationship. This part of our relationship is that we are driven to grow for each other. Love, trust, intimacy, and more. This pride was special in that I not only was pushed to be more submissive, but I was also pushed to grow the more dominant side to Angus (please take note of the “A” in Angus versus the “a” in pup angus). When Angus’ dom side is being stroked and nurtured, there is an internal *buzz* that is felt. Master ordered it to grow to be able to take better care of pup krypto. Krypto makes Angus buzz when he submits, melts into my arms, expresses so much love and emotion he cries, lets me take care of him, and allows me to spoil and pamper him like he has always deserved. Angus shows krypto how much he is loved, wanted, cared for, and that Angus is always going to be there for krypto. Together, our dom and sub energies flow in such a way that we fall more in love with each other and our relationship grows. Thank you for trusting Angus with such a beautiful, needy, giving, and loving pup, Master. Krypto is the most important person in Angus’ life. Angus loves krypto so incredibly much and feels so lucky to have krypto in his life. I love you so much, Master.]


Leaving Mr. Turk, I turned around, blinked, and there in front of me was krypto! Angus took over and in the lyft, presented krypto with a video from krypto’s Sir and a card from Angus. 

[It important to also thank kyrpto’s Sir (Alpha) for allowing Angus to take care and treat his pup to a very special date. Thank you, Alpha. I love you, Alpha.]

Krypto was so overjoyed and overwhelmed with how Angus was going to spoil and take care of him. Krypto was in tears. *buzz*

The Date Itinerary

  1. A picnic in central park (rescheduled for Friday on the High Line) 
  2. A couples deep tissue massage
  3. Japanese BBQ

We struggled to arrive on time for the massage but the spa was so willing to accommodate. We were even able to enjoy some couples time alone in the spa before and after our massage. Oh it was amazing. Krypto was so relaxed he even fell asleep during the massage. This was my first deep tissue massage. I never realized how tight my muscles had been. 

After making it back to the hotel and stopping for a Times Square photo or two, we rested briefly before walking to the restaurant for dinner reservations. Krypto dressed so handsomely. *buzz* I brought krypto to a Japanese BBQ. We had the kobe omakase. It was delicious. Krypto made perfect suggestions for courses. He made me so happy that my dom buzz got even stronger as dinner continued. With our dessert course, krypto to was adorable and giving when be offered to make Angus a s'more over the grill. Thank you krypto. It was so delicious. We made our way back to the hotel. Once there, krypto said goodnight and Master joined angus for bed. What an incredible first day of pride.


Friday 

We began our day with sleeping in, lunch at Juniors with Masters friends, and getting ready for our picnic on the High Line. As we neared Chelsea Market, Master ordered Angus to wait inside in front of The Lobster Place. Master needed to do Master things. I walked inside and krypto found his way to me and Angus couldn’t have been more eager to see his pup. I felt so loved and happy to be joined by him for another date filled afternoon. *buzz* We had sushi and sodas. Krypto picked an amazing blood orange, lime, and jalapeño soda for me knowing how much I would love the flavor vignettes. Oh what a good pup. After we enjoyed the best oysters I’ve ever had. So good that krypto food-gasmed over the Ichobad oysters. And lastly, we ordered meat pies to enjoy on the High Line. We found seats, took some beautiful photos and walked the park to the most southern end. After such a perfect and romantic date with krypto, it was time for Master to come back. Thank you Master. Thank you for giving Angus time with krypto. I love you so much, Master.  

[I love you, krypto. Thank you for joining me on such a romantic date. We had a perfect date on the High Line. I keep falling more in love with you every time I’m given time with you. You’re amazing and I will always keep growing for you. *buzz*]

Master and I walked over and a couple blocks to Magnum and made our own ice cream bars. This was more fun than we thought! And delicious too! Master made a vanilla bar with chocolate coating topped with cacao nibs, Himalayan sea salt, and chipotle seasoning. 


I made a chocolate bar with dark chocolate coating, dark chocolate vermicelli, gold sugar crystals, and Himalayan sea salt.
We ended our day with tacos and a disco nap. After I would need to get ready for Furball. I was dancing and couldn’t wait to show off for Master. 

  • Furball highs: Master was there, I danced for Master, Master and I met Joe, DJ Jack Chang played a good set, and I was paid. 
  • Furball lows: the small/crowded venue, the fog that made it impossible to see or breath, and the terrible gogo boxes. 

I came home to Master patiently waiting with dinner. Thank you for coming to see pup work and for dinner, Master. I presented Master with the night’s earnings. I love you so much Master.

Saturday

We slept in and enjoyed a small brunch in HK. Master got a sandwich and I had eggs benedict. After, we prepared for the VIP Roof Top Tea Dance. The venue was small, we weren’t really able to dance or flag much, the crowd was weird. Master did get a chance to flag on the gogo box before the dancers arrived. *whimpers* It’s so beautiful when Master flags. We left after an hour, regrouped at the hotel and headed to the Musclebear Cruise. It was an amazing choice! We had an amazing time and took so many wonderful photos along the Hudson. There was food, great music and Master taught me how to flag. Thank you so much for teaching me Master! I can’t wait to flag with you again! It was a great way to get ready for the main party: BRÜT. 

BRÜT was held at the PlayStation Theatre. We arrived and made our way to the clothes check. While everyone else there was dressed for in their black leather and fetish gear, we lit up the halls in pink thongs, calf high socks, and Master in his crotch-less and ass-less singlet. His pe'a showing through, muscles pumped, rump so perfectly framed in his singlet; I was so overwhelmed in his presence. Master is so incredibly sexy and I couldnt keep my eyes off him. Master ordered me to follow him around the venue as we explored its amenities and features. The venue was perfect with multiple dance floors and DJs. The lighting spectacular. The crowd was good too. There were water fountains and concessions too! 

All night and into the morning, we danced, flagged, and had sexy intimate time. The dance floors had special lighting. The main floor had spotlights from the ceiling that were black lights. Master shined like a God; his chest so big and body beaming. *whimpers* I was so entranced it felt like we were the only ones there. I grinded up against Master and danced and showed off for him. Master flagged and hypnotized his pup with his power and perfection. I felt the butterflies in me growing and it felt like I was twisting up inside. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be his pup. I’m so grateful to be owned by you, Master. *whimpers* The other dance floor was all black lights and dark which provided ample space for us to be intimate. Master pulled me aside to a more private area and intamacy in there. He adorned my neck with marks of love and ownership. I begged Master for them and cried out “Thank you Master! I need your marks, Master! I love you so much Master!” I moaned louder as Master pressed harder. He pushed me deeper and ordered me on my knees to present his pup. 


My heart was racing and I fell deeper and harder for Master. He led me to the couches and ordered me on his lap. I kissed Master deeply. I held to Master tightly feeling our energies flow and as our lips separated to breath, Angus was over krypto. We held each other tightly falling more in love. Angus and krypto danced together and Angus took care of krypto’s needs at the party. 


I led him to the dance floors and halls for water and fresh air. I was buzzing watching krypto dance for me and letting me take care of him in the early hours of the morning. Krypto even flagged so beautifully for me. His gift made me buzz too. Later, we were able to get onto the lit gogo boxes and flag under the black lights. I was so incredibly hypnotized by krypto’s dancing and flagging as he kept shining. His rump bounced and chest and arms looks like they were growing right in front of me while he glowed under the lights. Thank you for giving me a beautiful display of your art and rhythm, krypto. After dancing we shared more private intimate time with each other. On the couches I strattled krypto and we shared a macro growth fantasy. I kept pushing krypto to grow bigger and he wanted to make me happy. I led krypto through a fantasy where he out grew the theatre quickly. Then Manhattan…The continent… describing to him more and more how and what grew faster. Krypto joined and shared what he would grow bigger. I began to pre on his lap. It was dripping through my pink thong. Krypto was so eager and ready to pick it up. I love you so much, krypto. Thank you for dancing with me and letting me grow you to macro proportions.*buzz* Oh krypto is such a special pup to Angus. He is such a good pup. 

We looked at the time and agreed 6am would be our time to walk back to the hotel. Master returned and made sure angus made kt hoke safely. I resumed place at Master’s feet and thanked Master. I was whimpering as we talked about how much fun and how amazing BRÜT was. I love you so much, Master.  We had such an incredible time. Thank you for an this exceptional evening. Master led us back to the hotel and after we fell asleep to get ready to close our pride weekend. 


Sunday

This day was the struggle day. Struggled to eat Shake Shack for brunch, struggled to stay hydrated, and struggled getting to the last pride party.
Despite the behavior of some straight women, the bad music, and overcrowded pier, we really had a wonderful time. Dancing with Master free VIP upgrade from some strangers leaving early, free vitamin water, a less crowded area to flag, and getting to meet some of Masters friends. We left before sunset and headed back to the hotel to rest. We needed to pack and rest for our travel day on Monday would come early. We stayed up in bed that night distracting ourselves from the bad party. I watched endless YouTube videos of flagging in the park to try and find Master  (I did!!!) And Master edited photos of our weekend *swoon*

Monday

It was an emotional “see you soon”. We went separate ways at Penn Station. Master treated me to a protein filled Jamba Juice and bagel with lox and cream cheese. Thank you so much Master. We waited for our trains. Before we knew it, it was time to board. Master to Montreal and myself to Providence. “5 more days pup” Master would keep telling me. *whimpers* I love you Master.

Thank you for joining me on such and incredible weekend and offering me your hand to be proud together. Thank you for your gifts and generosity, Master. I will always feel more lucky and grateful every day to be owned by you, Master. I love you more and more every day Master.

Happy Pride, Master!

forever in service,
angus 

The Devil’s Doughnut

Carson cursed loudly as he pulled off the exit ramp to his work. It was his turn to bring breakfast for the office and he hadn’t remembered until waking up this morning. The dilemma Carson was facing was twofold: he was in direct competition for a promotion at work with Jenny and he feared she may be pulling ahead. Last week, she had brought in homemade quiche, though Carson raised an eyebrow as to the authenticity of the homemade portion of her claims. The quiche tasted suspiciously similar to the ones made at a downtown bistro their boss had previously deemed his favorite restaurant in town. Hack or not, Jenny had been praised throughout the week for her baking skills and now Carson found himself frantically wracking his brain for an immediate solution to office breakfast.

His car slowed as he passed the sign for “Devil’s Doughnuts” and after lingering long enough that a car behind him honked, Carson pulled into the parking lot.  His boss had been on a health craze lately. Though probably laying the foundation for a Human Resources nightmare, Carson’s boss had been chiding employees who were seen eating unhealthier options for their lunch. Carson had the benefit of a fast metabolism and a general apathy towards food. Eating was something that merely fueled his body from Point A to Point B. His slim frame was testament to that. Once Carson took note of his boss’ behavior towards the chips and burger crowd, he made a show of producing salads and crudités for lunch.  Earning a pat on the back and praising of his general trimness, Carson felt his chances of a promotion grow exponentially.

Keep reading

I'm still the captain

(A/N): bearded Steve has got me fucked up

Request: Can I request a story please where Steve is sick of being Cap and doesn’t want to come back to the Avengers until he comes to the base to talk to Tony and he sees the reader who is a new recruit. The reader is training with a total asshole at that point who just keeps shooting something (idk fire or stuff) at her and she starts arguing with him, walks out and runs into Steve? And Steve falls in love and joins again? (Steve please with beard and maybe a dog or something) You’re so awesome!

Warnings: some swearing


Originally posted by b-n-a-o

   "You sure you don’t wanna come back?“ Tony asks as he walks beside Steve and his rather large golden retriever named Buddy of all things. 

    "I’m tired of being cap,” Steve sighs as he looks at the floor, at the floor he once used to walk on daily. “I’ve been doing it for years and I guess I’ve just lost-" 

   "Lost faith in captain america?” Tony supplies the rest of his sentence. Steve nods, sighing again. 

   "Captain stood for justice, peace, freedom, I don’t know what he is now but it’s not that,“ 

   "You piece of shit!” A sudden voice cuts Steve’s conversation short. buddy’s ears perk up and he whines at the sound, his head already pointing to the direction of the training rooms.

    “New recruits,” Tony supplies with a smirk. “It hasn’t been going to well," 

   "Yeah,” Steve edges forward, taking a few steps towards the training rooms. “I can tell,”

    “I’m done trying to train you! Reschedule with Tony or Nat or someone else you little asshat-” The voice cuts shorts when whoever it belonged to ran straight into Steve’s chest, grumbling and trying to push away. “Watch where you’re going-” The person looks up, face immediately going slack as they look up at Steve. “Oh my god, you’re- you’re Steve Rogers,” Steve chuckles lightly, nodding his head as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

    “Indeed I am," 

   "I’m so sorry for running into you, I didn’t mean to-" 

   "Mr. Stark, I suggest you hire someone new because (Y/N) does a fucking terrible job,” A young trainee, only around the age of 19, comes walking out of the training rooms, looking rather rude and arrogant. (Y/N)- Steve assumed- gritted their teeth in restraint as they rolled their eyes, turning on the spot to face Tony. 

   "Tony, this little asswipe wouldn’t listen to me, he kept using those stupid fucking powers and-“ 

   "hey, hey, hey, both of you need to calm down, okay?” Tony looked between the two with a rather serious gaze. “Jason, Go hit the showers, (Y/N) go eat a carrot or some shit, I don’t care,”

    “But Mr. Stark-”

    “Now you two.” Tony rubs at his temples as the two walk away, glaring at each other darkly as they do. “I swear those two are going to be the death of me,”

    “When did you hire (Y/N)?" 

   "A week after you left,”

    “What do they specialize in?" 

   "A little bit of everything truthfully, they have quite the impressive resume,”

   "Hmm, any previous employers?“ 

   "They were an assassin for hire, they were their own employer,”

   "So, what’s their story? Villain suddenly becomes a hero? They accidentally lost a loved one in their line of work?“ 

  "They gave up the whole assassin thing after one customer wanted (Y/N) to take out a family, a pregnant woman, her husband, and their two other children," 

   "So, they have morals at least ," 

  "They do,” Tony smiles, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “You’d love them if you got to know them a bit, gives you the perfect reason to rejoin the team-" 

  "Steve’s rejoining the team?” Natasha smirks as she suddenly walks up to the two men. “Nice beard Steve, makes you look all rugged and stuff," 

    "He does live on a farm now Nat, he has to look rugged,” Nat hums as she nods, her eyes flitting from Steve’s bear down towards his feet where Buddy sat patiently, tail swishing from side to side gently.

    “And who’s this cutie?” Nat asks as she crouches down, scratching Buddy’s ears affectionately.

    “This is buddy, I found him snooping around my yard one day and I decodes to take him in," 

   "Well sounds like Captain America has been having fun up on his ranch,"  

   "Yeah,” Steve nods, smiling gently as he does.  "I have…I miss the compound though,“ 

   "Ah, did I just hear Captain America say he misses the compound,” Tony smiles excitedly, unable to hide just how elated he was.

   "I’m not saying I’ll come back, I’m just saying I’ll think about it,“ 

   "He’ll think about it!” Tony cried as he hugged Steve tightly. “He said he’ll think about it!”  


  “Remember how you said you’d think about it?” (Y/N) chuckles around a mouthful of ice cream, the chocolatey substance dribbling down their chin. “And cut to a year later you’re the team leader once again," 

   "Oh hush,” Steve muttered as he poked (Y/N) with his foot, too tired to even lift his arms. He’d been training all day with (Y/N) and needless to say they had kicked his ass, they were fucking amazing at fighting and Tony wasn’t exaggerating when he said (Y/N)’s resume was quite extensive. 

   "Tell me again why you came back,“ 

   ”(Y/N), I’ve told you a million times before-“ 

   "I know, but I love hearing why,” Steve sighs as he cracks an eye open to look at (Y/N) who was trying to look cute and innocent as they pulled the chocolate coated spoon out of their mouth.

    “I came back because I had a crush on you, I wanted to see you more," 

   "Yeah?” (Y/N) smirks as they recline onto Steve’s chest, his arms already coming up to wrap around their form. 

   "Yep…and because of that decision I found the love of my life-“ 

   "Oh, you’re such a sap,” Steve smiled as he pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s temple, letting his lips linger there for a moment before pulling back.

   "You know you wanted to hear it, don’t even deny it,“ (Y/N) hums as they nuzzle into Steve’s neck, sighing softly once they found they were perfectly comfortable.

   "I suppose you’re right…” The two fell silent for awhile after that, just laying together, holding each other, listening to the other’s breathing, their heartbeat, the way (Y/N)’s breaths became shallow whenever Steve gently kissed them, or the way Steve would nearly purr when (Y/N) raked their hands through his hair. The moment was peaceful, reflective, absolutely wonderful, that was until there was a loud bark and suddenly there was a large, rain soaked dog standing on both of their bodies. 

   "Buddy!“ Steve chastised, trying to push to large dog away from himself and (Y/N). "Personal space big guy,” But Buddy didn’t listen, instead he merely plopped down on their legs, head resting on Steve’s chest. (Y/N) chuckled as they reached down to pet Buddy, a light smile to their lips as they did.

    “He just wanted to cuddle too,” Steve groans and shakes his head as he lays back down, arms rewrapping around (Y/N). 

   "He’s fucking soaked (Y/N), your legs are going to be freezing when he gets off and then you’re gonna do that evil thing where you wrap your legs around me and try to freeze me to death,“

   "Hmm, damn right I am,”

   "I didn’t become team captain to have fucking freezing legs,“ 

A typical morning for you consisted of you rolling out of bed at around 9, stumbling to the bathroom to do your business, give your face a quick rinse and your teeth a quick brush, and then pad downstairs slowly to see what you could nibble on for breakfast. Whenever Harry was around, you’d wake up to smell of bacon and the sound of crackling. However, when Harry had to leave home for a couple months, you’d find that two slices of toast with jam on top filled you up just fine. 

This morning, you woke up feeling particularly rejuvenated. You flipped over onto Harry’s side, your arm tucked underneath his pillow as you snuggled up to it. It still smelled like him even if the last time he was here was about two and a half months ago. Odd… The ‘Harry’ smell seemed a lot stronger than usual. You missed Harry terribly when he had to go off, but you knew what you had signed up for when Harry first asked you to be his girlfriend. So, really - You couldn’t complain. You could whine, but you couldn’t complain. 

As you rolled up the blinds, you couldn’t help but notice how pretty it looked outside. The sun was peeking out from behind a nest of clouds, the trees were looking very green and lush, and the rose bushes you had been tending to looked as rosy as ever! Maybe today was going to be a good day! You had the whole house to yourself and you couldn’t wait to unwind on the couch with a bowl of cereal and your eyes glued to the TV screen. 

You hummed to yourself as you padded down the stairs, your brows furrowing at the sight of the remote control sitting on the arm of the couch rather than its usual place on the coffee table. You’d watched TV last night, maybe you just left it on the arm? 

“Silly me.” You snorted, picking it up and setting it down on the table. Walking into the kitchen, you wondered to yourself what kind of cereal you were in the mood for today. Cinnamon toast crunch? Or maybe those tiny chocolate chip cookies? Honey coated cornflakes didn’t sound half bad either. What if you mixed all three? Iconic, that’s what I am. 

“Mornin’, love.” As you made your way over to the cupboards, you glanced over towards the direction of the fridge to see Harry snacking on something. 

“Morning.” You smiled, rummaging through the cupboards to find all three of your- Wait. “What the hell??” You whipped around, your eyes popping open at the sight of your beanie-sweater-wearing, ring-bearing boyfriend casually standing by the fridge as if he hadn’t just disappeared for nearly three months. 

“I finished the cornflakes, I’ll pick up a new box later.” Harry murmured through a mouthful of food, dusting his hands off. There was a moment in which the two of you were just staring at each other, you were still in shock, and Harry was eyeing the shirt (his shirt) you were wearing before looking up at you with his dopey smile. “Aren’t yeh gonna come and gimme a kiss? ‘ve been gone for a hot minute.” 

“Oh my god!” You couldn’t help but squeal before you found yourself dashing over to Harry, practically tackling him in a hug before peppering his face with light kisses. “What are you doing here?” You pulled away, pressing your hands against his chest gently as you felt his arms wrap around your waist. (His arms had gotten a lot beefier, you had noticed. And his chest was definitely more muscle-y.)  

“I live here, Y/N. I bought this house for us.” Harry teased, reaching up to tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear. 

“You know what I mean…” 

“I’m done.” He said simply, leaning in to give you a sweet kiss. 

“You’re done?” You asked softly, your lips parting in genuine shock. After so many months of Harry working his butt off and never having any time for you… He was done? 

“Mhm. I don’ have to travel anywhere… I’ll be working from home. Didn’t like having to abandon you for a couple months at a time.” He pouted, “Plus, I know for a fact you never eat healthy when I’m not around.” 

“It’s not my fault Panda Express is a ten-minute walk away from us.” You laughed lightly, shrugging as you did so. “I’m just… You’re home.” You whispered, Harry nodding before giving you another quick kiss. 

“Now, c’mon. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do! I’d like to see you in that pretty little lingerie set in real life as opposed to on my screen.” 

+

gif isn’t mine!