chocolate-bread

some parisian things from a parisian who was just in paris for ml fic writers part 3
  • couples show a lot of PDA in Paris, it’s just a thing
  • there are less Starbucks than you think, Parisians prefer old fashioned cafes at the side of the road
  • the McDonald’s menu is INTENSE. they have something called McCafe that sells a bunch of french pastries
  • there is this under appreciated pastry called a viennoise au chocolat and it’s absolutely delicious. it’s basically bread with chocolate chips in it and it’s so good but no one ever talks about them
  • 100g of chouquettes (about 11 sugar covered choux) are only about 3 euros, they are some of the cheapest pastries
  • a baguette is about 2 euros
  • half a baguette is 50 cents (don’t ask it’s weird)
  • students end school at different times every day.  they also start school at different times every day usually
  • after school sports are not really a thing, you end at around 5 or 6 anyways
  • after school people like to hang out at cafes for a little before doing homework
  • dinner usually starts at 7:00 or even 8:30
  • sometimes people have a snack at 11, we like to eat
  • the metro is actually super quick at times and is the most common form of transportation
  • metro stops are also reasonably clean and beautifully tiled
  • if there is a movie being promoted you’ll see it everywhere from busses, to taxis, to metro hallways, to big circular posters that turn in the streets
  • thrift shops are called antiques stores. that’s how bratty a parisian is
  • tight clothing is in style, nothing very loose
  • the roofs of paris are insanely fun to climb on and jump across even if you’re not a superhero. it’s very much a thing
  • there are parks in every part of paris, it’s a very popular place to spend your time. teens usually go there right after school and after hours like at midnight
  • VIENNOISES AU CHOCOLAT I BEG OF YOU SOMEONE MENTION IT IN A FIC THEY ARE SO GOOD I’M EATING ONE RIGHT NOW THAT I SAVED AND I’M IN LOVE
Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

Basic ideas for kitchen witchery

These are not recipes, but ideas - what meal could serve what purpose. They are simple, so you either should have your own recipes for them, or find them on the internet easy enough. 

Happy cooking!

BANISHING

  • chili (cayenne pepper, black pepper, chili - generally spicy things)
  • lemon-infused water (lemon is a repellant, and water is uncrossable for some entities)
  • sugarfree coffee with cinnamon (coffee and cinnamon are both banishing ingredients)
  • curry (cayenne pepper, black pepper, chili - generally spicy things)

PROTECTION

  • caprese salad (basil, tomatoes)
  • margarita pizza (basil, tomatoes)
  • apple pie (apples)
  • corn-on-a-cob (corn)
  • mint tea (mint)
  • herb soup (rosemary, basil, mint, thyme, bay leaf…)

HEALING

  • apple pie (apples)
  • golden milk (milk and turmeric)
  • elderflower tea (elderflower)
  • mint tea (mint)
  • onion syrup (onion and honey)
  • chamomile tea (chamomile)
  • lemon-infused water (lemon)
  • ginger tea (ginger)
  • nettle soup (nettle)
  • pumpkin soup (pumpkin)
  • pumpkin cookies or bread (pumpkin)
  • curry (turmeric, garlic, onion)

LUCK

  • cinnamon rolls (cinnamon)
  • orange juice (orange)
  • chamomile tea (chamomile)
  • corn-on-a-cob (corn)
  • pineapple juice (pineapple)
  • poppyseed buns or bread (poppy)

HAPPINESS

  • orange juice (orange)
  • honeyed tea (honey)
  • mint tea (mint)
  • lemon-infused water (lemon)
  • vanilla-flavoured ice cream (vanilla)
  • sunflower seed buns or bread (sunflower)
  • sugar cookies (sugar)

PEACE

  • lemon balm tea (lemon balm)
  • lavender-infused water (lavender)
  • cucumber-infused water (cucumber)
  • vanilla-flavoured ice cream (vanilla)

PROSPERITY

  • milk with honey (milk and honey)
  • apple pie (apple)
  • pumpkin soup (pumpkin)
  • pumpkin cookies or bread (pumpkin)
  • chocolate chip cookies (chocolate) 
  • sandwich - any (bread)
  • fried rice (rice)
  • curry (rice)
  • fries (potatoes)
IMAGINE YOUR OTP #23
  • Person A: *sits at kitchen table to join Person B for breakfast*
  • Person B: *stares down at table quietly*
  • Person A: (Person B), is there something you wanna tell me?
  • Person B: *chokes back a bit of laughter* ah-pfft- no, why do you ask?
  • Person A: Well as you may know, we recently bought Chocolate Chip Swirl bread. And right now its not here. Could you please explain to me why, when we finally have enough money to afford the good bread, why on earth its not at the kitchen table, right now.
  • Person B: *snorts then covers it up with a cough* Oh, uh, sorry honey I wouldn't know.
  • Person A: Fine. Then allow me to tell you why its not here. Earlier this morning, I put some in the toaster, and I was so excited for this chocolate chip bread. So when I went to take a bite of one, do you know what I found?
  • Person B: *literally cannot breath from holding laughter* w-what???
  • Person A: RAISINS.
  • Person B: PFFFT- HAAHAHAHAHAH-
  • Person A: I FUCKING KNEW IT!!
  • Person A: *reaches across the table to strangle Person B*
The Types and What Their Suitcase Is Full Of

INTJ: Assorted headphones and music player(s)
INTP: Electronics (but forgot the chargers)
INFJ: Their friends who jokingly asked to hitch a ride in their suitcase
INFP: Tea and sweaters
ISTJ: Journals
ISTP: Literal fire
ISFJ: Books
ISFP: Instrument of choice
ENTJ: First aid supplies because they are Prepared
ENTP: All we know is that it makes noise whenever we hit a bump in the road…
ENFJ: Literal glitter
ENFP: Chocolate
ESTJ: Bread
ESTP: Air because they forgot to pack
ESFJ: “Wait, why are you bringing that?”
ESFP: Clothes for every possible scenario

EVERYTHING BUT YOU ੭ JUNGKOOK

Contains : roommate!jungkook, angst, SMUT !

Words : + 3,5k

Group : BTS

Member: Jungkook/Jeon Jungkook

Summary : You hated everything about Jungkook, from his cocky smirk to his annoying voice, and he could say the same about you. But the both of you were stuck together, forced to live with each other because of the landlord, it wasn’t a choice.
Yet, you didn’t know if he really hated you, or if you really hated his voice once you came home from work, hearing your name tumbling from his mouth in breathy moans.

Originally posted by purelyjimin

A/N : You can leave your feedback or requests here ! Please remember that english isn’t my first language and this is my third smut ever.


You took a deep breath, trying to containt yourself. Both of your hands flat on the kitchen counter, you closed your eyes. You didn’t want to get mad, especially this soon in the morning.
You opened your eyes, before staightening your back and adjusting your shirt.

« Jungkook. », you called, hoping he would hear you through the noises of cars and shot guns coming from the tv. Your roommate simply hummed, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

« Jungkook, listen to me. », you harshly said. He paused his game to look at you, eyebrows raised at your boldness. The noises stopped abruptly, immersing the room in an almost religious silence.
Jungkook moved his head, questionning.

« How many times do I have to tell you to do the fucking dishes ? », you asked through gritted teeth.
The boy only rolled his eyes, shaking his head. « Argh, I’ll do them later. », he simply said, his face turning towards the tv again.

« Jungkook you need to do them now. », you started, making your voice a little louder so he could hear you over the noise.  « We don’t have any plates or bowls. », you continued, making your way to the living room.

You really didn’t want to fight him, last night was enough, but everything was dirty in the kitchen, and you needed to eat before going to work.
Your rubbed your temples, breathing in.

« Jungkook, I need to eat, I have to go to work. », you said, like you were talking to a child, standing in front of the screen.

« Y/N, move ! », almost screamed Jungkook, making motions with his hand before looking up at you.

He saw your determined look, arms crossed. He got up from the couch, tossing his controller, and he swore to himself that he would make you pay for it.




You took a deep breath, exiting from your car. The cold air ghosting over your skin, calming your nerves. You had a long and stressful day, the door of your apartment seemed like the door to heaven.
You looked up at the dark sky, before your attention got caught by the light coming from the window of your living room.

It was rare for Jungkook to stay in the living room, normaly he would watch a movie in his room, but maybe he was still playing his game, you thought.

You quickly walked towards the building, you were craving to feel the soft fabric of your duvet and rest for the week end.

Your hand grabbed the cold door handle, opening the heavy door of your apartment building. You were bending to take your shoes off and allow your heels to rest before you heard it.

The pounding sound of music, and you already knew where it was coming from. You cursed, rapidly climbing the stairs.
You didn’t even had to pull your keys out of your purse, since the door of your apartment was wide open.

Almost immediately, you started fumming, fists clenched. From the hallway you could see silhouettes moving around, dancing to the music.

« You got to be fucking kidding me. », you mumbled to yourself, walking into your apartment. The smell of alcohol was obvious, but you couldn’t care less, actively looking around to find Jungkook.
People were dancing, and you looked horrified, as you noticed some people you didn’t know on your couch, an obvious stain on the arm rest.

You looked around, trying to find someone you knew. You made you way into the crowd, feeling out of place with your working clothes.
Your body was pushed against other people, and suddently, you felt a pair of hands on your hips, pulling you into the person’s torso.

« Y/N ! You’re finally home ! », the person giggled, hugging you from the back, and you instantly knew who the voice belonged to.
« Jungkook, what the fuck is going on ?! », you almost screamed, turning around and freeing yourself from his embrace.

Even if you hated Jungkook, you knew him enough to tell that he was at least tipsy, a gummy smile on his face. The boy’s hands went back to your hips, pulling you into him once again. His head went to the crook of your neck, and you couldn’t help but move your head away.

« We’re just having a little party. », he explained. « Dance with me. »

His request took you off garde, your palms went to his torso so you could look into his eyes. « Jungkook. », you said sweetly.
The boy hummed, hands locking behind your back.

« I want everyone out of here in 30 minutes or I’m kicking you out. »
Jungkook’s smile instantly vanished, his normal self coming back as his touch disappeared.

« Oh, you forgot ? », you asked, fake pouting. « If the landlord finds out that you organised a party without informing him, you’re out. »

In reality, you were just threatening him. Yes, the landlord would probably kick him out if he found out, but the neighbours were on vacation, so no one was there to complain about the noise. And on the other hand, even if you hated Jungkook, you would rather live with him than paying the full rent, because, let’s be real, finding a new roommate was hard.

If eyes could kill, you would probably be dead. Jungkook was enrage, and you only smiled at him, feeling victorious. He licked his lips, looking around, and you knew you had won, walking away to your room, pushing away everyone too close to you.

You quickly slammed your door, sighing as you untied your hair.

After a few moments, the apartment was left silent, Jungkook apparently got rid of everyone pretty quickly.

Your head fell on your pillow as you wrapped yourself in your duvet, sighing in relief. Your muscles started to relax slowly, starting to fall asleep, before you heard it.

A girl moaning. 




You rubbed your eyes before tossing your duvet away from your body, you had spent one of the worst night ever.
You were already exhausted, your eyes closing without your will, and it was hot, way too hot, the duvet sticking to the thin layer of sweat on your skin. And on top of that, Jungkook fucked some random girl he certainly didn’t know.

You knew he was doing this just to piss you off, you could already see his annoying smirk on his face.
You sighed, getting up, your feet meeting the cold wooden floor. You walked out of your room, not caring about your appearance, you were only wearing a long t-shirt and your underwear.
You were craving for some tea and you needed it now. You quickly brushed your teeth, noticing no signs of Jungkook’s presence and made your way to the kitchen.

To your surprise, the living room was clean, no cups of the floor, no empty bottles. If it wasn’t for the stain on your couch, it was like nothing happened.
You raised your eyebrows, at least you wouldn’t have to fight with Jungkook.

Pouring the hot water in your cup, you absently watched as the water turned brown. You slowly added the milk, before feeling two hands on your hips, rolling your eyes as Jungkook’s head dropped to the crook of your neck. 

You groaned, getting away from his grip, leaving your cup on the kitchen counter to take care of your toast.

« I wouldn’t mind waking up to this every day. », he said, with his low morning voice, leaning in the corner of the kitchen. Your back was turned to him, but you could feel is eyes travel down your legs.

« Fuck you. », you simply said, spreading your chocolate on the bread. Jungkook didn’t respond, silently watching you.

You made your way towards your cup, but the boy stood beside you, his hand sneaking once again on your hip.
« Is that for me ? », he asked. His head moved towards the plate, humming the smell of the toast, while doing so, his breath ghosted over the skin of your cheek, his perfume he was wearing making you dizzy.

Your hand smacked his torso, « What the fuck, no. »

« Wow, after cleaning the living room I thought I would get some kind of reward. », he said, his tone changing at the last word.
You turned around,« Oh so, I should give you a reward because you cleaned the mess you’ve made after you threw a party ? »

Jungkook opened his mouth, but you continued, « Besides, even if you ended the party, the girl you fucked was way too loud. », you said, leaning against the kitchen counter and taking a sip of your tea and putting the cup down.

He almost looked embarrassed for a split second, before regaining his cocky attitude, leaning towards you.
His hand went to your jaw, his thumb lightly tugging at you bottom lip. His boldness caused your breath to get caught in your throat, and he saw it.
Smirking, he hummed, « You can tell me if you’re jealous, you know. »

He licked his lips, watching your own lips, and unconsciously leaning towars them. 

« You need to clean the stain on my couch. », you breathed, before escaping from his embrace.




 After the “accident”, nothing like that happened again.

Yes, you thought about it, was he really going to kiss you ? Are was it just another way to annoy you ?
If he wanted to annoy you, it was working, and what pissed you off more than anything, was the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he was, and he didn’t seem to care, as if it never happened.
And you wish you never happened, you wished you never felt you heart beat so fast.

Of course, you got back to Jungkook, stealing his video games until he cleaned your couch. He had to clean it himself, and hated every second of it. And once again, he swore he would make you pay for it.

And he did. You had a sleepover at your best friend’s house, and Jungkook knew it. While you were getting ready, he took his chance and sneaked into your room, easely finding your bag.

He knew you would probably kill him, but his plan was too perfect.
The next day, after the sleepover, you and your friends would go to the club. He knew you were excited about it, and he didn’t feel an once of guilt when he poured the ink of his pen on your red dress.

He was going to ruin your night just like you ruined his in the first place. Quickly folding the fabric and shoving in back in your bag, he closed your it before going back to the living room like nothing happened.

And you should have knowned that he was up to something when he sweetly smiled at you before you closed the door.

But Jungkook’s plan wasn’t that good, he thought that you would only see the ruined fabric after the sleepover, just before going out. But you were too excited to show your new dress and unpacked your bag as soon as you entered your bestfriend’s house.

Your heart sank when you unfolded the fabric, discovering the wide black stain in the middle of the dress, before rage took over you.
Cursing loudly, you didn’t give your best friend any explaination before storming out of her house, blood boiling, fingers impatiently taping on the steering wheel at every red light.

You almost ran up the stairs, before taking a deep breath when you were faced by your door. « Calm down, you don’t want to kill someone tonight. », you thought.

But another voice in your head reminded you that the dress he ruined costed a lot, and you really needed this night out with your friends to relax and suddently, all the rage that was starting to fade came back in a wave.

Opening your door, you were greeted by the darkness of your living room, and for a second you thought Jungkook was gone, maybe out for the night, but you heard something. The boy was probably playing some game with his friends.

Quietly walking without turning the light on, you followed the faint noise before freezing in the middle of the room.

The noises, it’s wasn’t him talking, it was him moaning.

You were so shoked, you almost dropped your keys. You didn’t know if you had to laugh, open the door of his room or just run away as quickly as possible and act like nothing happened.

Putting your keys down on the kitchen counter, you leaned against it. You could hear your rapid heat beat along side Jungkook’s moan, sweat starting to form on your forehead.
You wanted to get out, so bad, but you were stuck there, unable to move. His moans were getting louder, his breath ragged, little whines coming from his lips from time to time.

Your cheeks were starting to heat up, when you heard a particularly loud moan, before

your name.

Your eyes opened, wide, starring at Jungkook’s bedroom door. You moved your head, you swore to yourself it was just your brain tricking you.

But you heard it again, clearer this time.

« Y/N, fuck ! »

And your heart sank, once again.
Your name was tumbling from his lips in broken moans, your legs felt like jelly, his breath got more and more erratic as yours got caught and suddently,

it stopped.

It stopped, and the whole apartment was silent, like nothing happened. Your eyes still wide, you started to breath normaly again.
You took your keys, head dropping to look at the floor, before you heard the door.

Oh, fuck.

You immediatly looked up, cursing yourself for not running away when you could. You froze as you saw Jungkook, walking out of his room, obviously frustrated. His hand running in his hair, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, a layer of sweat visible on his torso.
He looked up, and froze.

For what felt like an eternity, no one talked, looking at each other like a deer caught in headlights. Your throat was dry, unable to talk, your mouth opened and closed without letting out a single sound. The air was thick, your eyes traveling from his red lips to his rising and falling chest.

Jungkook was the first to open his mouth, breaking the silence.

« Y/N, I, eh, didn’t hear you come in. », he said taking a step forward.

« I, eh… », you tried, stepping back, forgeting why you were there in the first place.

« How long have you been here ? », he asked, a hand rubbing his collarbone. 

« I- », you started, before your back hit the wall, knocking the air out of your lungs.

Jungkook licked his lips, eyes traveling from your mouth to your eyes.

« You heard me ? », he asked, even if he knew the answer. His breath ghosted over your skin, one hand beside your face on the wall, the other holding your chin.

« Yeah. », you breathed, looking into his eyes, you didn’t know if it was the lack of light but they seemed a shade darker.

The boy licked his lips again, blinked a few times before boldly asking.

« Can I kiss you ? »

And without thinking, you nodded, a sigh leaving your lips when your roommate eagerly kissed you. Jungkook instantly moaned into your mouth, pressing himself against you. His hand detached from the wall, falling to grip your hip.

His soft lips moved against yours, before his tongue licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance, which you immediatly gave. And it was a battle for dominance, Jungkook’s hand left you chin, sneaking under your shirt, eager to feel you skin against his.

His head went to your neck, and you didn’t move, letting him kiss his way down to your collarbone. He was craving to do this since the kitchen accident, your skin looking way too flawless to his liking. And all he wanted to do was to mark you, all over your body.

A sigh ran down from your lips when he found a special spot, and he started sucking on your skin, leaving a purple mark.

Both his hands pushed the fabric of your shirt up, and you got the hint, taking your shirt off. Your arms wrapped around his torso, feeling his skin against yours, you lips founding his neck, but before you could start your torture, he stopped you.

« Y/N, don’t tease. », he breathed. And god, he sounded so needy, out of breath and you only kissed his neck, you wondered how wrecked he would be after you’re done with him. 

Seeing that you didn’t respond, Jungkook pressed himself against you, making you feel his boner, and he was hard.

Your lips went back to the base of his neck, while your hand traveled down his torso, until you met the hem of his sweatpants.

« Y/N, plea- », he started, getting cut when your hand palmed him through the fabric. His head rolled back, a moan tumbling from his lips.

You liked your lips, watching him in awe, his fingers digging in your waist.

« Don’t tease. », he said through gritted teeth, pulling you closer. His hand grabbed yours, kissing your knuckles to your elbow.

« Jungkook. », you breathed, wrapping you arms around his neck. He hummed, eyelids heavy.
His cheeks were slightly red, lips swollen, and you couldn’t help but kiss him again instand of answering.

He walked you towards his room, lips never leaving yours.

Leaving the lights off, he softly layed you on his bed before towering over you. Your fingers went to the hem of your jean, taking it off.
Jungkook’s hands unclapped your bra, tossing it somewhere, his mouth instantly wrapping around your nipple.

« Jungkook, we don’t have time for that. », you moaned, feeling the uncomfortable wetness starting to form in your underwear. The boy was as eager as you, leaving you breast before almost ripping your panties.

« Fuck, I’m so hard. », he moaned, when you took his sweatpants off. He quickly got up, opening the drawer of  his nightstand to take a condom. He hurriedly opened the package, rolling the condom on his shaft.

You signed when his hands went on either sides of your hand, feeling the heat of his body. Your hand grabbed the back of his head, pulling him towards your lips, kissing him again, never getting enough of the feeling.

He pulled back slightly, a smirk streching his lips.

« Babygirl. », he called, waiting for you to open your eyes. One of his hand grabbed the back of your thigh, placing your leg on his hip.

« Who are you wet for ? », he asked, a devilish smile on his face.

You wanted to slap him, but you needed him, and you breathed.

« You. »

Jungkook almost moaned, his head went back to your neck before entering you. Jungkook groaned, his breath ragged. You arched your back, your nails digging into his shoulders.

« Jungkook, please. », you moaned, and he started rolling his hips in a slow but deep pace. Your head dropped back, you started biting your lip, trying to muffle your moans, but Jungkook noticed.

« Don’t you fucking dare. », he started, thumb tugging at your lip.  « Moan for me or I’ll stop. »

You whined, and Jungkook started slamming back into you. His hand grabbed your hair, pulling at it to expose your neck, and he started biting and sucking on the skin, breathy moans coming from your lips.

Your other leg wrapped around Jungkook’s waist, his dick was hitting a spot making you moan at every thrust. Jungkook was a moaning mess on top of you, his broken whispers transforming into long moans and deep groans.

He was getting closer and closer, but he wanted to make you come first, he needed to see it.

« Are you gonna cum for me ? », Jungkook ask, teeth biting on your lower lip. You could only whine, your hand gripping his hair.

Jungkook’s hips started making deep and slow thrusts, one which was particularly hard, helping you reach your high.

A last moan filled the room, before your came around Jungkook, your eyes closing, mouth falling agape.


Jungkook groaned, feeling your walls tighten around him. « Fuck, such a good girl. », he complimented through gritted teeth, before reaching his climax, softly moaning near your ear, your name falling and falling from his lips as he came in the condom.

He collapsed on top of you, the both of you trying to catch your breath, bodies sweaty.

Jungkook chukled,« Sorry for the dress. »

2p's as april fools pranks

2p america: air horn. (96% evil)

 2p canada: kraft dinner as orange juice. (88% evil)

 2p england: mayonnaise as toothpaste. (10% evil)

 2p france: personal lubricant instead of hand sanitizer. (50% evil)

 2p russia: cups of water. (40% evil)

 2p china: soy sauce instead of coke. (99% evil)

 2p italy: key board garden. (60% evil)

 2p germany: play-doh as gum.  (80% evil)

 2p japan: switch out the chocolate chip bread for the cinnamon raisin flavor. (101% evil do not do this unless you’re tired of having friends)

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🍞Chocolate Chip Banana Bread🍞 

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