chocolate diamonds jewelry

The Joker x Reader 10 *Pranking Frost and make him think you and J are having... too much fun in the fitting room ;)

You two are jerks for doing this to Frost, but he’s so serious all the time.( Well, Mister J is the bigger jerk since it’s his idea.)

Mister J rented the whole “Allure Emporium” haute-couture boutique for you today. The owner is one of his business partners and you love the place. J likes to spoil you when he needs to apologize for being a jerk. He never says the words “I’m sorry”, but somehow finds a way to make it up to you.

You bring a decent amount of henchmen with you so they can guard the outside and inside of the building, just in case. “Allure” ‘s  dressing room is huge and luxurious, plus the Joker spared no effort in personalize it with everything you love: red roses, pink champagne on ice, your favorite chocolate truffles, diamond jewelry and lots of hundred dollar bills scattered all over.

He helped you pick up a ton of clothes and now you are going to start trying them on.

“Sorry, Frosty, but my girl is for my eyes only”, Mister J grins at his trusted right hand standing outside the dressing room. “Find your own!” he says while closing the heavy velvet curtain to hide what will happen soon. Frost smiles in agreement and distances himself a bit more from the perimeter to give you privacy.

Inside the dressing room there are two TV screens: one to watch any regular channels you might want and the other one serves as a monitor to show you what is going on right outside your booth. J sits down on the sofa and keeps on purring every time you change in front of him, trying to kiss every little piece of skin he can reach. You keep on teasing him and don’t let his lips touch you – that’s punishment for him being a total jackass yesterday and he knows it.

“Hey, Kitten, look”, the Joker suddenly gets your attention, pointing out at the monitor.

“Ahhh, good old Frosty is always so serious and stern. How is he supposed to get a new girlfriend if he doesn’t loosen up?” you softly chuckle, trying on a new cocktail dress.

“Let’s help him loosen up then,” J winks at you and whatever he has in mind you know it’s going to be good, but you would follow his lead regardless.

He’s starting to speak louder so Frost can hear.

“Baby doll, take that off for Daddy!”

“Puddin, come on, not here. Wait until we get home,” you reply in a seductive tone, barely containing your giggle.

“Don’t make me ask you twice, Pumpkin; you know I don’t like that.” He bites his lip, smiling, both watching the screen to see if Frost does anything. No reaction yet. He’s face is as stoic as ever.

You just unzip and zip back your dress, but Frosty doesn’t know that.

“Uhhh, it looks so smooth, doll.” 

“That’s a good one”, you think, nodding your head at J.

 “Give it to Daddy!”

You almost burst out laughing but you stop yourself in time. You finally go and sit on Mister J’s lap, quietly snickering while pressing your forehead against his.

“ Oh, Puddin, you’re so naughty. Don’t bite that! Ahhh!”

“ Hehehehehe, perfect!” he whispers  and  buries his face in your cleavage so Frost won’t hear him snort. You cover your mouth because this is too much fun to blow it all.

You finally see Frost licking his lips and crinkling his nose, probably getting a bit uncomfortable.

The Joker kicks the sofa a few times with the back of his shoe, this way it sounds like he slams you around.

“Oh my Gooood !” you fake moan and you’re so good at it.

“Not quite, baby”, J roars, slapping your exposed thigh from under the dress. Poor Frost is oblivious of what’s going on; he takes a few more steps ahead, trying not to listen.

“Yeah, that’s right, make Daddy happy” he grunts, just like he’s having his way with you. You scream a few more times.

“We’re going to hell, Puddin,” you whisper in his ear, cracking up.

“It’s worth it, Kitten” he whispers back with a smirk.

You caress his face, kissing him softly, accomplice to the prank, having so much fun. He’s forgiven.You love it when you two have great team-work (you usually do), even if right now you’re a jerk too for tricking Frosty. The TV screen shows a fast blinking Frost, nervously passing his hands through his hair.

“Turn around, Princess! Daddy wants it all!”

The Joker kicks the sofa again, then slaps your hand, and you squeal, delighted you are such a good pretender.

“Auch ,Puddin, play nice. Don’t slap too hard… hehehehe… Do it again!”

J slaps your hand again; Frost imagines the worst, he feels he’s starting to sweat. Jesus, why does he have to witness all of this? He loves his job but he doesn’t want to hear his boss and his girl going at it right behind him in the dressing room. He heard things before at the penthouse and he was able to just walk away, but here… he has to stay.

“Yo, Frosty! Come help me with this!” the Joker commands. You let out a moan again. “ Harder, Jaaaayyy, harder!”

“Holy shit”, Frost thinks, heading back, anxiously wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, “WTF? What does he need help with?… I swear to God, if they ask me to join in I quit!” he decides, taking a deep breath and parting the curtain, his head turned away.

“Ummm, yes, boss?”

“ Frost, look at me when I talk to you!”

He does as told and…you and Mister J instantly start laughing like crazy, not being able to keep it in anymore. Frost looks at you dumbfound, his eyes widen when he sees you just sitting in Puddin’s lap, both dressed.

“You should have seen your face, Frosty”, you barely manage to say while holding your tummy, giggling so hard tears are starting to roll down your cheeks.

Frost’s confused expression turns into a grimace, and he lets out a relieved chuckle, followed by a full blown laugh.
“You guys got me”, he lifts his hands in surrender, amused, shaking his head as he walks inside. “I actually panicked for a few moments.” 

“Laughing Frost needs to be…immortalized somehow,” J theatrically gestures with his hands, shortly after placing them around your waist. “How should we go about it, baby doll?”


Later that evening all the henchmen kept on stopping to stare at the new art piece hanged in the main lobby of your penthouse. The huge frame contained screenshots of Frost’s face during his ordeal at “Allure”: serious, then him squinting his face, wiping his face, smiling, then laughing.

“What is this all about?” everybody asks, curious to find out what’s going on. “Hey, Frost, why is this here? Is that really you?” they keep on asking.

He just growls with a bitter face, telling them to shut up and get back to work.

They have to obey him and once everybody is gone, Frost goes in front of the masterpiece and a small smile starts to form in the corner of his mouth. He looks in both directions, fake coughing a bit before regaining his demeanor and slowly walking away.

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Yeah, yeah, I know it’s just oh-so-edgy to hate on Valentine’s Day, but you know what?  It’s a dumb holiday, located smack-dab in the middle of the worst part of the year.  If you need a specific day to tell you to get your SO a box of horrible chocolates, blood diamond jewelry, or shitty overpriced flowers that’ll die in two days, then you have bigger problems than this so-called holiday can solve.  

So two great big middle fingers up and a week of anti-valentines songs in salute to this, the most Hallmark of the Hallmark Holidays.