chocolate cow

A painting for a very special someone. She’s beautiful, she’s witty, she’s the best and I love her more than words can express. Today’s her birthday and she deserves to be celebrated! Happy birthday, mum! I love you and forgive me for eating all your chocolate! ♥

Houses as Quotes from my Physics Class
  • Gryffindor: "It's not just a sword, it's a weapon."
  • Hufflepuff: "C'mon, what's the point of having a pet giraffe if you don't put it in roller skates?"
  • Ravenclaw: "Yes, the cow- and what kind of cow is it again? That's right, a chocolate milk cow. That is obviously very important to the question."
  • Slytherin: "You'd make a good detective. You have those serial killer instincts that could help you figure out their motives."
3

throwback to that one time Spencer tried to drag Aleks into the ocean and Aleks turned into a fucking pro wrestler

3

I think there are numerous [fan fictions]. I haven’t delved into it for a long, long time. I remember a friend telling me about it a few years ago – I think the general theme was imagining if Kit Harington was your boyfriend. Which obviously I do on a regular basis. There was this one description of him in it that said, “As he looks at me with his chocolate cow eyes”, which makes no sense whatsoever. But then you look at Kit and you’re like, “Chocolate cow eyes” – I sort of get what they mean.

⋆✵ If you’re in need of some vegan inspiration or motivation, here is a list of my 101 reasons to go (and stay) vegan in 2017! ✵⋆

1: if you are already against violence and the exploitation of others, going vegan means you live your values and practise what you preach
2: the largest, oldest & foremost authority on diet & nutrition confirms that humans do not need to eat animal products to survive & thrive
3: if you consider yourself an environmentalist, omitting animal products is one of the best things you can do for the planet’s wellbeing
4: you’ll be part of the fastest growing lifestyle movement ever, it’s thrilling to be included in something that’s snowballing so quickly
5: there are now vegan versions of almost all our favourite foods, including chicken nuggets, meat pies, sausage rolls, ice cream and pizzas
6: veganism isn’t just for animal rights - Human Rights Watch describe slaughterhouse work as a ‘systematic human rights violation’
7: you’ll be freed from making subconscious justifications to yourself that don’t make sense (to feel better for enabling animal suffering)
8: standing up for animals with your everyday choices and knowing you’re actively making a difference can be extremely empowering
9: you may be inspired to go and volunteer at shelters or sanctuaries to meet and help animals the animals you are saving 1st hand
10: many popular snacks available in supermarkets are accidentally vegan - you don’t have to say goodbye to all your fave biscuits & sweets!
11: right now, veganism is now more accessible, easy & mainstream than ever before, and by joining the movment, things will only get better!
12: dairy is one of the worst foods for our skin, so many people notice that their acne or eczema improves massively after going vegan
13: once you learn how to perfect the art of cooking and preparing tofu, it is the gift that just keeps on giving. So versatile & delicious!
14: you will learn not to discriminate between animal species, and take a stand against ALL unnecessary cruelty & exploitation everywhere
15: you’ll learn labels like free range are senseless as long as NO suffering/exploitation is preferable to reduced suffering/exploitation
16: most restaurants now typically have AT LEAST one vegan option, so eating out with friends is not as tricky as you might have thought!
17: different sources calculate that every year each vegan saves between 198 and 365 animal lives (including land & marine species)
18: the chances of getting food poisoning and food borne diseases may decrease significantly
19: if you’re reading this, that means you are not a baby calf, so there is absolutely no need to be drinking breast milk from a mother cow
20: antibiotics in the meat industry are responsible for drug resistant bacteria, eating meat may increase risk of exposure to this bacteria
21: a healthy vegan diet can help prevent the majority of cardiovascular diseases
22: we desperately need to stop eating fish, if we don’t, we could see entirely depleted, fishless oceans as early as 2048
23: vegan food is versatile, affordable, colourful, filling & delicious - not “rabbit food” as some ignorant people say
24: according to the Heart and Stroke Foundation, eating a vegan diet is an effective way to lower your risk of strokes
25: you can happily bite into a big, delicious burger without the worry of chomping on a piece of fatty gristle or sinew!
26: even unhealthy vegan food usually isn’t AS bad as animal junk foods -you can typically eat MORE of the foods you like & still feel good!
27: chances are you’re lactose intolerant whether you’re aware of it or not & will feel far less heavy, bloated & gassy by giving up dairy
28: a plant-based diet is an internal deoderizer - eating vegan can actually change and improve bad body odour
29: veganism (especially vegan activism) can give your life a massive sense of purpose, it feels utterly amazing to help and save others
30: if you love wild/exotic animals, you should be vegan - animal agriculture is the leading cause of habitat loss and species extinction
31: when you meet a fellow vegan, you often instantly feel this wonderful connection & understanding and have so much to talk about!
32: you can take part in single issue campaigns (Sea World, fur, etc.) without seeming hypocritical - ALL animals need freedom from harm
33: a vegan requires only 1/18th of the land needed to grow crops to feed to livestock to sustain a meat-lover’s diet -we save so much land!
34: just bc we CAN digest meat doesn’t mean we SHOULD, that we’re “meant” to eat it, or that it’s good for us! just look at our physiology!
35: alpro and oatly chocolate milks are absolutely heavenly, and don’t make you feel sick like cow chocolate milk does!
36: faux fur and faux leather look and feel just like the real thing
37: going vegan reduces your carbon footprint significantly more than giving up driving a car does
38: vegan restaurants are creative & use ingredients I’d never even heard of as an omni - I’d never have tried jackfruit, tempeh or seitan!
39: the vegan community can be massively helpful, friendly and supportive, you could make so many new like-minded friends!
40: vegetarianism is not enough, the egg & dairy industries have practises and elements as cruel as (if not crueller than) the meat industry
41: waking up in the morning feeling passionate about a cause that you can help every day might be the closest you feel to being a superhero
42: you will be boycotting the destruction of the Amazon Rainforest, up to 91% of the destruction has been caused by animal agriculture
43: you’ll learn that a lot of the joy & pleasure from food comes from seasoning & preparation, not from whether it’s an animal or a plant
44: going to protests, demonstrations, vigils & marches is so exhilarating and really affirms how you are part of a social justice movement
45: veganism might help you grow into a more compassionate and understanding person as a whole, not just towards animals
46: eating meat can harm native carnivores that are killed to protect animal agribusiness, such as seals in Scotland and wolves in America
47: if you don’t need animal products to live a happy, healthy & comfortable life, there is simply no valid reason to keep on consuming them
48: people of colour, undocumented workers, immigrants and impoverished people are the ones most harmed by animal agribusiness
49: each vegan produces the equivalent of 50% less carbon dioxide than a meat lover
50: we absolutely do not require dead animals to get enough protein - ask Patrik Baboumian or any other vegan muscle man!
51: there is 0 cholesterol in plant food, our body makes its own natural cholesterol, & animal products just give us an excess we don’t need
52: going against the grain CAN be intimidating but straying from the 97%, unlearning twisted social norms & not being a sheep is liberating
53: most of us consider ourselves animal lovers, and going vegan aligns our actions with our beliefs: that animal abuse is wrong
54: you’ll learn to love, appreciate and rediscover vegetables which you may have only seen as a spare ingredient or overlooked before
55: a vegan diet has been called “a weapon against Type 2 diabetes”
56: there are plenty of vegan meal plans online for whatever you require: cheap meals, raw meals, high protein meals, gluten free meals, etc
57: with any given area of land, you can produce 15x as much plant protein on that land compared to animal protein
58: when you go vegan you omit food which is proven to be carcinogenic - processed meats “cause cancer” & red meats “probably cause cancer”
59: the more people that request vegan options at shops and restaurants, the larger the variety of options will become in the near future!
60: going vegan could help you fall in love with cooking as you experiment with new ingredients and methods
61: meat from diseased animals is sold to consumers (activists often film animals w tumours, infections & skin diseases in slaughter trucks)
62: there is so much to LEARN about the animal agriculture industry and the vegan movement, it’s exciting to get educated
63: we are not all rich, pretentious, white hipsters who live off kale and organic pine nuts, we are regular people -help break stereotypes!
64: depending on what type of meat you were eating, it probably had animal faeces in it
65: most vegans gain a more spiritual and wise understanding of our fellow animals once we stop using them for pleasure
66: eating red meat can weaken your immune system, so by cutting it out, you may get sick less
67: vegans use 1/11th of the oil and 1/13th of the water needed to sustain a meat-lover’s diet
68: non-vegans rarely consider the vegan option on menus -when you eat out you may end up eating things you may never have previously tried!
69: …some people claim that vegans are better in bed
70: every day, each vegan saves 1,100 gallons of water, 45 pounds of grain, and 30 sq feet of forested land
71: vegan athletes and body builders are living proof that you don’t need animal protein for human body peak performance
72: adopting pets from shelters instead of buying from breeders is an amazing feeling - literally giving an animal a second chance at life
73: not eating fish saves whales/dolphins; for every 1lb of “edible” fish caught up to 5lbs of other marine species are killed accidentally
74: a healthy digestive system free from animal products should not be underestimated! SHOUT-OUT TO REGULAR & HEALTHY POOING!
75: animal bodies are not ours to needlessly use, not matter how “humanely” we think our methods might be, their bodies are THEIRS, not ours
76: most plant foods are sustainable, for example, 1.5 acres of land can produce 37,000lbs of plant-based food, but only 375lbs of meat
77: contrary to misinformed belief, a vegan diet can be cheaper than an omnivorous one. the cheapest food staples in the world are all vegan
78: people who previously suffered from migraines could find that veganism alleviates their symptoms
79: pleasure is derived from many places, but pleasure, whether from food, fashion or entertainment, should never come from an animal’s pain
80: veganism means your compassion is not selective, it shows you care for ALL sentient creatures, even if they’re not rare, cute, or exotic
81: the amount of water wasted by running a shower for 4 hrs straight = the amount of the water needed to produce 1 hamburger (660 gallons)
82: veganism removes you from the imbalance of impoverished countries feeding their grain to fatten animals to be killed for wealthy people
83: veganism usually means your consumption of fibre & healthy fats increases, which aids healthy digestive system & general improved health
84: a vegan only needs 1/13th of the water needed to sustain a meat-lover’s diet
85: meat/dairy contains lots of saturated fat, even if you don’t follow a v healthy vegan diet, you’re likely to be consuming less “bad” fat
86: you learn a new level of selflessness, despite all the personal benefits, we’re in it for the animals and the planet -not just ourselves
87: if you eat a balanced vegan diet then your energy levels could be raised and you’ll feel great
88: people have literally been murdered for campaigning for animal rights, we must honour their lives by keeping up the fight
89: plant based foods provide various phytochemicals which help prevent and heal the body from cancer
90: it’s liberating no longer having to lie to yourself when faced with the similarities between livestock & pets -bye cognitive dissonance!
91: studies indicate that those who follow a vegan diet can have a lower mortality rate
92: consuming dairy may lead to breast lump development - countries will little animal product consumption have lower rates of breast cancer
93: 1/3rd of the planet’s land is now desertified, and animal agriculture is the leading driver
94: vegans can actually get a more complete diet than before bc they can be more nutritionally aware/know specifically where to find things
95: you’re free to meet and pet livestock animals you may encounter on your travels without any nagging guilt that comes from hurting them
96: it’s easy to research and replace your toiletries and cosmetics with versions not tested on animals
97: it’s easier than ever to get involved with save movements where you meet activists who will make you feel more passionate than ever
98: we each have an unwritten responsibility to try and not to unnecessary harm others, and veganism reduces harm in multiple ways
99: as well as feeling empowered, you will feel humbled, realising you are not entitled to another being’s body simply based on your species
100: it’s not a fad diet, it’s a whole new lifestyle, it’s a change of heart, and a rewiring of the brain. it is enlightening
101: veganism isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a joy

4

Quick After-Battle Triple Chocolate Cake, from Book of Enchantments by Patricia C. Wrede!

A reader suggested this recipe to me, and as soon as I read the entire recipe I went HAR and got to cooking immediately, because look at this bit here:

Bake next to fire while gathering loot. Give helmet back to sucker who let you mix cake in it; promise him first piece if he gets too mad. Eat warm while counting loot. Serves two.

[Thank you for all your support for my book!]

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hideously green jacket

sooooo i went back to writing because she @k-raftboeck made me. also those two posts: 1 & 2

The sun had disappeared some hours ago, even before the start of the competition, so it not only was pitch dark but also very cold. Andi zipped up his jacket and pulled his purple beanie over his ears, walking from the hill towards the parking where the car, that would bring them back to the hotel, was waiting. He already was a bit late, coming from the victor´s ceremony as he had ended up 3rd in the competition, and hurried past the little huts and containers for the equipment, the media and the jumpers. The buildings were throwing shadows on the already poorly illuminated, gravelled way and the boy was careful not to trip. A few metres in front of him, next to a white bungalow, he spotted someone in a green jacket, just as ugly as his own, standing with the back to him and slightly leaning on the wall of the building. He just could make out the outlines of the person waiting because there were no lights at all but the silvery light of the moon and the pungent blueish light of a phone illuminating the man. Andi could make out rumpled brown hair and a slender silhouette but nothing more. Approaching the boy in front of him, he remembered that earlier Stephan had said something about waiting for him after the ceremony but due to all the action before and during the victor´s ceremony he had not thought about it until now. A smile appeared on his face thinking about his teammate, his warm brown eyes, his messy hair, the dimples that appeared every time he laughed (and he often laughed when he was with Andi), his clumsiness in the mornings when he still was tired. Andreas chuckled silently when he remembered how his room-mate had tripped over his luggage this morning, searching for socks, the toothbrush in his mouth and how he had almost spit the toothpaste on his shirt. He heard a sudden cough and blushed; he felt caught even though no one could have known what he was thinking. Andreas looked around but saw nobody but the boy in the green jacket still standing in front of him. He must have been the one to cough. Approaching the person Andi grew surer that it was Stephan; the way he was leaning on the building seemed familiar and weren´t those the shoes he had worn today? He slowed down and made sure his steps were as silent as possible. In this manner he sneaked up to the boy in front of him. Andreas had just intended to scare him but he spontaneously changed his mind and quickly put his hands in front of the other boy´s eyes. “Domen? To ti?” At the sound of those words, Andi drew his hands back in surprise. The man in front of him turned around and they both stared at each other for a while until Andi´s stuttered “uhm… sorry” broke the silence. He had blushed to the roots of his hair and avoided eye-contact with Peter, who smiled awkwardly. “Did yo-,” he began, but the German boy interrupted him. “I´m terribly sorry, I mistook you for someone else, my bad. Those terrible jackets… look the same,” he mumbled, nervously adjusting his beanie – that´s what he did in awkward situations. “It´s alright,” the older boy giggled, “I agree though, the jackets are terrible. Seems we have the same sponsor this year.” Andi sighed in relief that the embarrassing situation had passed and Peter had handled it so well. “Whom did you expect to find though?” the Slovenian asked. The question immediately made Andi stutter again and he nervously licked his lips as he was searching for an innocuous answer. “Uhm… I just w-” “Sorry, have you seen And- oh! There you are, I´ve been searching for you.” Stephan had appeared behind Andi and just recognised Peter at the first moment but then spotted his teammate. “I have been waiting for you, where have you been? The car is going to leave soon,” he asked Andi who just was relieved to take the excuse to escape the situation. “Sorry, I´m coming. See you tomorrow, Peter.” The two Germans said goodbye to the other jumper and hurried towards the parking. After a few steps, Andi couldn´t help it any more and burst out into laughter. “Oh dear,” he sighed, “you´ve just saved me from quite a situation.” “What kind of situation,” Stephan asked, slowing down his steps. They had reached the end of the jumper-area and the following meters to the parking were completely dark as no lamps illuminated it and the moon had disappeared behind the clouds. “Well,” said Andi, “I remembered you said you´d be waiting for me.” “Which I did,” the boy walking next to him replied, “Why didn´t you come to the press-room though, didn´t we want to meet there?” “I´m sorry, I must have overheard it over all the fuss before the ceremony…” “It´s alright,” Stephan chuckled and jokingly poked Andi in the arm. “But back to that situation you were having with Peter.” “It´s your fault actually,” Andreas giggled. “I remembered you would be waiting for me and when I saw someone in a hideously green jacket standing in front of me with uncombed brown hair a-,” “Hey,” the smaller boy exclaimed in fake disapproval, “my hair is not as messy as yours!” “Not sure about that,” Andi snickered and tried to pull down Stephan´s beanie over his eyes. “Just because your hair is covered by a purple million dollar cow shitting chocolate doesn´t mean it´s better,” Stephan joked. “What did I do that you´re always so terribly nice,” Andi laughed but added “noo, I love your hair.” There was a moment of silence and their steps on the stony way were the only sound disturbing it. Andi cursed himself for his last words and in the darkness he couldn´t see how Stephan had blushed and now had a little smile on his face. Suddenly there was a sound of shoes slipping on stone and Andi heard Stephan breathing in sharply and the he felt his hand on his arm. “Uh, shit, it´s so dark I think I tripped over something,” Stephan mumbled and was about to remove his hand from Andi´s arm but he seemed to hesitate. “You better continue holding onto me or you will break your neck,” the taller boy giggled, “I just want to remember you of this morning when yo alm-” “Oh shut up, “ Stephan answered but then moved his hand from Andi´s upper arm, that he had held onto when he stumbled, down to his hand and almost shyly grabbed it. At first their grip was weak but it grew firmer and their fingers entangled. “I still sometimes can´t believe someone as clumsy as you makes it down the hill safe and sound,” Andi giggled and stroked the back of Stephan´s hand with his thumb. Again they fell quiet and just walked; the lights of the parking already appeared at the end of the way. “Anyway,” Andreas cleared his throat, “back to what I was telling earlier. So I spotted this person in the green jacket and with messy hair,” he gave Stephan a cheeky look and felt him slightly squeezing his fingers, “and somehow was very sure it was you. So I decided to scare you and put my hands over the person´s eyes… well turned out it was Peter…” “I imagine he was quite flabbergasted,” Stephan giggled and then grinned cheekily as he asked his next question. “But what were you going to do then?” “Huh?” The boy walking next to him looked at him doubtfully. “I mean,” Stephan stopped and turned to Andi, a smirk on his face, “ what would you have done if it had been me and you had put your hands around my eyes?” Andi, who now understood where this was going, grinned. “Well,” he began, “I guess you would have turned around.” He came a step closer to Stephan, their faces were just a few centimetres apart now. “And then?” Stephan whispered, his voice slightly trembling from excitement and maybe fear. “And I would still have my arms around your neck,” Andi breathed and hesitatingly lifted his free hand to Stephan´s face, the other one still was tightly holding his hand. “I would have been surprised but then I would have realized that it was exactly the situation I had been waiting for and imagining all this time,” Stephan said softly and put his free hand on Andi´s waist, slowly pulling him closer. Andreas just had the time think how small Stephan was next to him and how he had never realized it until their lips touched. He felt Stephan´s lips slightly trembling and as if to calm him he put one hand on the back of his head, minimizing the distance between their bodies, and with other one, that had been holding Stephan´s hand until now, he slowly moved up his arm. Stephan had now put both arms around Andi´s waist and lifted himself a bit on his toes. For a second, Andreas pulled back to catch his breath and looked into Stephan´s face. His amazingly cute dimples had appeared and he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Is this what you imagined,” Andi asked tenderly. “No,” Stephan sighed and chuckled at the look on Andi´s face. “This is so much better!” And with this words he pressed his lips on the other boy´s lips again. Andi gasped and slightly opened his mouth; the feeling of Stephan´s soft lips on his, of his hands holding him tightly made him forget everything around him. He felt like falling and flying at the same time, it was like ski flying only so much more intense. Eventually, Stephan gently pulled his head back and whispered:”We should really hurry now if we don´t want the car to leave without us.” They still were standing tightly hugged and Andi was softly stroking Stephan´s cheek. “Alright,” the taller boy sighed, “you´re probably right. Let´s go!” “I am right,” Stephan grinned cheekily, “but before we do go I think I´ve got to fix you up a little because you look like…,” he examined Andi´s face, searching for the right phrase. “Like I just heavily made out with somebody?” Andi laughed. “I suppose so,” Stephan giggled while adjusting the other boy´s purple beanie. “Well, lucky for us that it´s so dark,” he smiled. They continued walking towards the parking, their hands subtly touching. Just as they reached the light of the first lamp illuminating the parking place – they could already see the car and their teammates waiting impatiently – Stephan leaned over to Andi and whispered:”We definitively have to repeat that.” “Yes, we do,” Andreas giggled and both smiling they hurried up to the vehicle. “What have you two been doing? We have been waiting for hours!” Richi complained. “Sorry,” Andi mumbled, “the interview took a bit longer.” As they already were sitting in the car, Markus turned around from the front seat. “Why are the two of you smiling so mysteriously all the time anyway? Stephan and Andi looked at each other and trying to contain his laughter, Stephan said: “Nothing, really…”