chocolate cards

I’m reading up on chocolate frog cards in the Harry Potter universe, for reasons, and-

“Came up with the ever changing floor plan.” 

Really, Ravenclaw? Really?

“You know what this school needs? To not make any sense-”

“Rowena, I don’t think-”

“Exactly, you don’t think. I’m brilliant and this is perfect. Moving staircases, walls that think they’re doors-”

“But how will the students get to class?”

“They’ll have to figure it out.”

“…”

“Everyday. They will figure it out everyday. My students will live in a tower and navigate these stairs every time.”

“The stairs move! This doesn’t seem safe…I think I’ll put my common room in the basement, Rowena.”

“Ditto. I think the dungeons would be safer…”

“…My kids will brave these stairs. I’ll take the other tower.”

  • Me: ah yes, I love the smell of February, you can practically taste the love...
  • Friend: yeah Valentine's Day is pretty romantic
  • Me: ew no I'm talking about the real Most Romantic Day of the Year™
  • Friend: what day is that?
  • Me: February 15th, the day of half-priced chocolate sales. That, my friend, is the taste of true love that will never let you down.

anonymous asked:

Au where petunia is a witch and lily is a muggle?

When the letter arrives, Lily is almost as excited as Petunia. She writes Albus Dumbledore to ask if she can go to, and if she cries a little when the answer comes back no she doesn’t tell anyone. Lily waves from the train platform, writes diligently, and listens with excitement whenever her big sister deigns to share stories of magic.

Petunia gets Sorted Slytherin, where she falls into a mutually-venemous friendship with Severus Snape, who she had considered dirty and poor when he was skulking around Lily in their little neighborhood, lighting leaves on fire like a baby arsonist, but who now seems like the best ally in a pool of ugly little fish.

The blood-purists are their normal asshole selves, which Petunia responds to with busybody eavesdropping, cruel gossip, and manipulative emotional bullying. Severus calls her mudblood in their fifth year (it’s not the first time) and joins the Death Eaters. Tuney calls him a greasy git of a wanker and they still have lunch away from prying eyes now and then.

When the war comes, Petunia does not fight in it. She marries a Hufflepuff boy named Vincent Dunsley who spends their entire first date telling her about his junior position in the Ministry and his planned thirty-six bureaucratic steps to the top of the food chain. Vincent has no problem with Muggleborns, or at least not ones who behave as properly as Petunia.

Lily does fight. She’s been reading the Daily Prophet for years as she sits through history class dreaming of brooms and punching bullies on the playground. At seventeen, she writes Albus Dumbledore again. When he still writes back no, she packs a bag and shows up on the Order’s doorstep.

Alice Longbottom gives her a place to stay, some spare robes, and teaches her how to fly– Lily hopes, wrapped in a warm blanket while they sip cocoa and discuss action plans, that if she’d gone to Hogwarts she’d have been good enough to get Sorted Hufflepuff. Frank beams at his wife in the dim yellow light.

Of the Marauders, Lily meets Sirius first– shaggy hair and strong bones, he’s a tall glass of water and he’s anxiously watching a skinny, scarred boy sleep on the sofa. They’re an hour off a mission and Remus crashed as soon as they got back to headquarters. The first thing Sirius Black, troublemaker and risktaker, says to her is “Shh! You walk like an elephant.”

She’d snap back, but Remus does look that worn down, curled on the cushions.

Peter and James are in the kitchen, shoveling sandwiches down their gullets that are the size of their heads. James staggers to his feet when she comes in. “Hi. Uh, new recruit?”

“Something like that.”

James shoves his hair out of his eyes with one hand and thrusts the other one out in her direction. “James Potter,” he says. “Beauxbatons? I don’t think I ever saw you at Hogwarts.”

She grins. “Lily Evans,” she says. “Cokeworth. And I’d shake your hand, but you’ve got mustard on it.”

Lily defies the Dark Lord and his forces three times, with James’s wand at her back, with Remus’s and Sirius’s and Peter’s. They tell her about Hogwarts and its secrets, and she brings them Muggle candy bars and the boxes of X-Men comic books from under her bed. No one gets chocolate smudges on her pages, under threat of James’s disappointed-in-you face, which he’s been practicing.

Severus Snape hears about a Muggle Evans on the warfront. “Petunia’s not a Muggle,” he snaps when Dolohov mocks him for it, but Crabbe cradles his broken arm and keeps talking– about green eyes, red hair like a war banner– and Severus’s stomach sinks low in his gut, cold and aching.

Severus Snape overhears a prophecy and he tells it to his Lord. Lily Evans Potter is the mother of a halfblood boy with a mess of dark hair. Lily is in Augusta Longbottom’s living room, playing peekaboo with Harry and Neville, because Alice and Frank are already in St. Mungo’s, because she does not know that she is soon to be not a soldier but a fugitive. Her child has no scars, yet.

On Halloween night 1981, Tom Riddle goes to the Godric’s Hollow home that Peter Pettigrew betrayed. He kills James in the front room, wand in hand. He kills Lily in the nursery, after giving her a chance to step aside. He tries to kill Harry, but he fails.

Harry goes to his closest living relatives– his aunt Petunia, uncle Vincent, and cousin Dudley. He sleeps in a little room just off the kitchen, which he thinks used to be a broom closet. They hate the attention he brings when he’s dragged behind his aunt at the grocery store, so they leave Harry home when they go to Diagon Alley, Ministry potlucks, or the evening shows that Dudley fusses through, fists full of pumpkin pasties.

Harry knows how to wash dishes by hand, how to cook bacon without burning it (most mornings), and how to capture the spiders in the broom closet and escort them carefully outside. For his birthday Dudley gets a toy broom. For his, Harry gets an Albus Dumbledore Chocolate Frog card because Dudley already has fifteen and didn’t want that one. Petunia likes to peer over the hedge into the yard of Mrs. Figg, the squib who lives next door, and snigger about how she has to do her laundry without magic.

When Harry is ten years old, his Hogwarts letter comes in the mail and the Dunsleys are surprised. “I wasn’t sure,” Petunia sniffs. “I mean, with my sister’s blood in you and everything, anything could have happened.”

My parents have been married for 19 years and together for 20 and I asked them what they were doing for valentines and they both looked so disgusted and said it was commercial and they hated it and then my dad said to me that every year he sends her flowers her favourite chocolates and a card pretending to be a secret admirer because although they think it’s a stupid holiday he wants her to have chocolate and then I went to my mum and asked about her secret admirer and she said it was a running joke between them cause my dad spends the day saying he’s gonna beat up her secret admirer and they both know it’s him but it’s been going for twenty years and my mum keeps the cards and if that isn’t love idk what is

Autistic Hogwarts students
  • Autistic students who are best friends with their pets, owls, cats and frogs.
  • Autistic students who spend all their free time in the library.
  • Autistic students who know spells that can muffle the sounds around them. This could be really useful in the great hall and other crowded places.
  • Autistic students who made a deal with the elves in the kitchen that they get their favourite and sensory safe food and drinks every day.
  • Autistic students who know secret passages and the least popular stairs in Hogwarts to avoid crowds.
  • Autistic students who like to wear the school uniform because they always wear the same and they won’t have to decide what sensory friendly clothing they want to wear each morning.
  • Autistic students who like to communicate with the merpeople by sign language. The merpeople come to the big windows on the far side of the Slytherin common room if they are curious or want to talk.
  • Autistic students who stim by flying on a broom or play quidditch in the heavy equipment.
  • Autistic students who buy their stim toys in a magical fidget shop: Potions which smell like everything you want them to. Blankets that adjust their weight to the needs of the owner. Stim toys which change textures and other things like self-rotating glitter jars, endless bubble wrap, moving pictures for visual stimming. Everything you’d ever imagine.
  • Autistic students who create their own ‘personal space’ inside their wardrobe with an extension charm to relax, recover and be alone.
  •  Autistic students who use the time-turner to visit their favorite classes, again and again.
  • Autistic students who are befriended with the ghosts and portraits because they need no physical contact and have hundreds of years of knowledge to share.
  • Autistic students who have a self-writing quill which makes notes in class.
  • Autistic students who have a magical bracelet or pin which displays the mood and show if they want to communicate or be left alone.
  • Autistic students who have a collection of magical stim toys which can fly, hover, change colours or textures or make sounds.
  • Autistic students who sneak out of their common room at night because they like to wander the empty and quiet halls.
  • Autistic students who invented a light that only shine for them if they want to read and learn all night without waking everyone.
  • Autistic students who made howler which can only be heard by the receiver because they are bothered by the sudden noise every time someone received one.
  • Autistic students who are allowed to visit the greenhouse, potion class, astronomy tower, stables for magical creatures or the quidditch fields if they want to experiment or learn about their special interest.
  • Autistic students who meet other autistics in the room of requirements to train or analyse social situations, talk about their special interests, stimming together, etc.
  • Autistic students who have self-organizing and magically expanding shelves.
  • Autistic students who have an arrangement with the house elves in the kitchen that always food and drinks appear near them when it’s time to eat and they forgot about it.
  • Autistic students who have blankets which can adjust their weight if they want their blankets to be heavier or lighter.
  • Autistic students who go nonverbal have magical cards which can display and verbalise their thoughts if they have to say something.
  • Autistic students who have a special interest in muggle things and interrogate all new muggle-born and half-blood students about it.
  • Autistic students who ‘lock’ their wands, so they can stim with it without setting of spells.
  • Autistic students who learn to cast their spells wandless because they don’t like the feeling of holding a wand or like to flap their hands.
  • Autistic students who are allowed to miss class if they (are about to ) have a meltdown, shutdown or a sensory overload.
  • Autistic students who have enchanted chairs and tables in every classroom which can adjust the brightness of the light, the speech volume of the teacher and other students and the room temperature to make the perfect environment for each student.
  •  Autistic students who have a magical compass which shows them the fastest way to their common room or safe place from every location in Hogwarts if they are going to have a meltdown, shutdown or sensory overload.
  • Autistic students who stay over Christmas in Hogwarts because it’s quieter and less stressful there than at their home.
  • Autistic students who are visited by their families and friends on visiting day at Hogwarts once a month. On every train station and in Kings Cross on platform 9 ¾  a wizard is positioned who cast a temporary spell on the visitors and lead them through the barrier. They will arrive at Hogsmeade where the students can meet them. In special cases, they can stay in Hogsmeade for a few days. After that, the Hogwarts Express will bring them back to the muggle world.
  • Autistic students who manipulate stinkbombs from Zonko’s Joke Shop or Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes that they smell like their favourite stimmy smell.
  • Autistic students who have a huge collection of chocolate frog cards or rare magical plants.
  • Autistic students who always have a sneakoscope on them, which make an alarming sound when it’s in range of an untrustworthy person, like a poltergeist or bullies. 
  • Autistic students who like to spend their time in the shrieking shack, when everything is too much and they need alone-time. It’s a lonely place because no others students dare to go there.To get there, they use the secret passage under the whomping willow.
  • Autistic students who like to spend their time at the boathouse because it’s quieter there than on the lakeshore.
  • Autistic students who row out onto the great lake to play with the merpeople and the giant squid and feed the squid toast from breakfast.
  • Autistic students who can’t travel in the crowded and noisy Hogwarts Express. Instead, they’re allowed to use brooms, portkeys, floo powder, apparition spells or flying cars or carpets.
  • Autistic students who can’t live in the common room could rent a room in Hogsmeade or stay home. They have to travel every day to Hogwarts and back home.
  • Autistic students who are allowed to travel with floo powder through the fireplaces from one classroom the next to avoid the crowds in the hallways.
  • Autistic students who like to flap and rock while reading about their special interests use flying books or let them fly.
  • Autistic students who like rules, order and organisation  want to be praefect of their house.
  • Autistic students who like the sound of the water in the Slytherin dungeon or the howling wind in the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw tower.
  • Autistic students who have a bad sense of orientation and take a copy of the marauders’s map from the Hogwarts merch shop with them to find the way to their classrooms.
  • Autistic students who visite besides muggle studies the social norm class for muggle and wizard worlds, in which muggle-born, half-bloods and pure-bloods learn about the social life and the daily life with or without magic in the other world.
  • Autistic students who have problems with personal hygiene. Instead of teeth brushing they can chew on a bubble gum made out of the juice of a rare magical plant. And instead of showering they can use potions or charms to stay clean.
  •  Autistic students who got stimming attachments from Olivander’s. They can modify their wands with chewing bits or little attached fidget toys or transparent parts with shiny liquid in it, like a glitter jar.
  • Autistic students who have magical contact lenses which can adjust the light level of every environment after the users needs.
  • Autistic students who teach themselves Parseltongue because they see it as a new challenge and a special way to make friends with animals
  • Send me your Ideas!
  • to be continued
EXO in Hogwarts

Xiumin:  Ravenclaw, but someone’s mistaken him for Slytherin at least once. Everyone goes to him for help, and he’d give you a long sigh if you asked him to check over your hw….but ofc he’ll do it. You’d think he was kinda intimidating since he barely talks, but you’ve seen him chatting with that loud Slytherin, so he’s pretty friendly once you get to know him. Rolls his eyes every time someone gets the riddles wrong, and tbh everyone is salty bc they keep getting harder and harder each week.

Suho: Gryffindor, and a model student at that. He’s probably the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen, some first years have actually passed out bc of his smile. Hella friendly towards the new kids, and he’ll guide them to their classrooms without complaining. Every teacher loves him, so ofc he’d be chosen as a prefect during sixth year. Has many acquaintances but a close knit group of friends that he’s always seen with.

Lay:  Hufflepuff with a heart of gold. You’ll find him in halls before class teaching simple and cool spells to first years, and some of them actually come to him when they’re crying and feel homesick. Sneaks into the kitchen like every Friday night to get some midnight snacks, and everyone knows….they just never say anything bc they love him lmao.

Baekhyun:  Gryffindor, and he wants everyone to know it too. If you thought the Weasley twins were bad…you better take a seat. He’s gotten detention so many times that’s he’s been near expulsion every year. Somehow he still manages to have top marks in every class, but you swore you’ve never see him studying. Hits on everyone during breakfast, and he’s got wild stories from his summer to tell every single morning.

Chen:  Slytherin who’s friends with every single House. He’s hella loud and if you hear a cackle down the hall, it’s probably him. He’s esp fond of that quiet Ravenclaw who’s always stuffing his nose in some book, and after like 6 years of knowing him, he’s almost close to tears when he calls him “best friend.” Doesn’t have the highest grades out of his classmates, but tbh he’s not too worried about grades and such.

Chanyeol:  Hufflepuff who’s always hanging around some mischievous Gryffindor kids. He’s formed some sort of band with his buddies, and he’s been begging the headmaster for a chance to perform at the end of the year. Has a new hairstyle every week and yes, he lives off the attention. Is always getting himself into trouble but no one really tells him off, his ears would turn red and he’d cry until they take it back.

D.O:  Ravenclaw who’s misunderstood by the whole school. People avoid him bc they think he’s scary but tbh he’s such a loveable goofball when he opens up. You’ll always see him writing something in a notebook, and it’s not really known if it’s a diary or his homework planner. He’s usually eyeing that one friendly kid in Hufflepuff, but denies it when you call him out. Has a collection of chocolate frog cards, esp Dumbledore’s.

Kai:  Hufflepuff quidditch team captain, and he’s never lost a game. He knows everyone fancies him but he doesn’t have time for that tbh. Stresses out HELLA during exam time, so he decides to ask a Ravenclaw for help one time…and it’s the best decision he’s ever made. Spends too much time on his hair every morning but it’s worth it, seeing everyone staring at him as he enters the great hall.

Sehun:  Slytherin with a family full of Gryffindors. He doesn’t know why he was sorted into a different House from his family, but you better not ask bc he’ll roll his eyes and strut away. He’s actually super funny and doesn’t care about House pride or blood relations. He didn’t have too many friends during his first couple years so he talked to the ghosts and made friends with Peeves, and they’re still pulling pranks together…so beware. 

Originally posted by royalyeol

THE SIGNS WHEN SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY

Aries: They start off the day with loads of “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe” messages from various unimportant people which feels pretty good at first, but as the day goes on they start to feel empty because they don’t have anyone that they truly care about.

Taurus: They don’t really mind the fact that they’re single on Valentine’s day because it’s just another day in the year. UNLESS they just got out of a relationship… if that’s the case then they’ll probably end up wallowing all day and listening to sad songs.

Gemini: There are two types of single gems on Valentine’s Day. Type one won’t even acknowledge that it’s Valentine’s Day and will just go on with their life as usual. While type two is just devastated that they are single and will probably text a few of their exes to try and have some fun later.

Cancer: Probably will lock themselves inside all day to avoid the cute couples and Valentine’s Day decorations. Also, is most likely to cry if they see either of those things. 

Leo: Are these guys ever really single on Valentine’s Day? Secret admirers and/or best friends are always around to give them small gifts, chocolates, or cards… They enjoy every second of Valentine’s Day- single or taken.

Virgo: Chill AF, they don’t waste time with sadness or hoping for a significant other to fall out the sky. They probably have plans to hang out with close friends or family later in the day because Valentine’s Day isn’t about being in love it’s about being around people you LOVE, right?

Libra: “Alright everyone, Happy Valentine’s Day, I may be single this year, but that’s no reason for me to be bitter over everyone else’s happiness. I’ve decided that I don’t need false validation to be happy today, I’m going to wait for my soulmate to appear. I need to love myself before someone else can love me. Good luck to all the couples out there xx” - Libra’s Facebook status. However, after they finish post this they proceed to cry themselves to sleep because of singleness.

Scorpio:  VALENTINE’S DAY WAS INVENTED BY THE GREETING CARD COMPANIES. EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO CELEBRATES VALENTINE’S DAY IS STUPID AND IS BEING FOOLED BY CAPITALISM! … someone please rise from the ashes and date me. - Scorpio’s mind for the full duration of Valentine’s Day

Sagittarius: A part of them is super chill about being single because relationships are too stressful, but hearing everyone else’s romantic plans on Valentine’s Day can depress them a bit. They’ll get over it after a while though and go to the movies with another hopelessly single friend.

Capricorn: They will try their hardest to come across as not caring about the fact that they are single, but on the inside they’re evaluating all the relationships they had over the past year. What went wrong? Why did it go wrong?  Nothing is my fault right? RIGHT…

Aquarius: The Valentine’s Day party-pooper along with Scorpio. However, they’ll go out of their way to let people know how stupid Valentine’s Day is. You see that angry couple walking down the street? Yep, they just got a lecture from our dear friend, Aquarius, about how stupid they are and how meaningless Valentine’s Day is.

Pisces: They’re crying all day, not just because they are single, but also because they have to wait one more day for all the Valentine’s candy to be on sale.

I have this headcanon that the Gryffindor Quidditch team were little shits, that Oliver could barely control, so he made a rule board, which started off pretty normal but got out of hand.

I imagine it was like this: (This is the Quidditch team in the first 3 books.)

1. Quidditch is not just a game. People who think otherwise will face the wrath of Mr Wood. 

2. Mr Wood is NOT a cane to beat people with. 

3. Don’t let Fred and George near anything. Anything. 

4. Friendly reminder that the chasers aren’t secretly super Ministry spies who could kill with one glance if they wanted, no matter what Fred says. 

5. Hufflepuff’s seeker is not secretly a badger.

6. Harry is our baby secret weapon, and must be protected at all costs. 

7. Keep the Chocolate Frog Card stash away from Alicia and Katie. 

8. Playing ‘Spin the Broomstick’ and '7 Minutes in the Broom Cupboard’ is forbidden. 

9. All pairing names are forbidden. Especially Johnwood and Wooter. 

10. Oliver Wood is not a walking sexual innuendo. 

11. Anyone who says 'Morning Wood’ will be high-fived punished. 

12. Harry I don’t care if your scar is hurting, just catch the snitch for Merlin’s sake. 

13. People who say Fred and George are the same will be attacked by bludgers. 

14. Incidentally, if Fred and George pretend to be each other one more time, they’ll be attacked by bludgers when they’re least expecting it. 

15. The next person to ruin Wood’s date by saying 'He’s a keeper.’ then winking is off the team. 

16. Betting on how many times Wood will fall off of his broom is forbidden. 

17. Beaters are not code words for prostitutes. 

18. Anyone heard singing 'We saw Oliver’s butt’ will clean the broom cupboard for a week. 

19. Discussing if twins are exactly the same EVERYWHERE is forbidden. 

20. Oh they’re not exactly the same. ;)

21. Fred and George are now forbidden from writing on the rule board. 

22. Friendly reminder that Angelina is not to be trusted with our clothes, and the next time the twins convince her to take them, the three of them will be picking them out of the lake themselves. 

23. Singing 'Potter for captain’ and 'How will Potter end up in the Hospital Wing next?’ is banned. (On weekdays.)

24. Insulting Slytherins is allowed if they start it, but if you don’t want us to get disqualified, please refrain from sneaking live spiders into their quidditch robes. 

25. Katie is not allowed to hold anyone down and give them a makeover. 

26. George is not allowed to help. 

27. Pranks wars between the Weasleys and the Chasers are forbidden. 

28. Dragging Harry into these wars as bait is also forbidden. 

29. Selling strands of Wood’s hair to first years is strictly prohibited. 

30. If Fred and George are huddled together, it’s bad and they must be separated before someone’s broom turns into a marshmallow.

31. Angelina and Alicia will refrain from singing 'We’re the most sassy quidditch team on the planet with the best butts ever.' 

32. Fred and George will not join in. 

33. Fred and George will NOT EVER AGAIN show their butts no matter how 'glorious’ they are. Well they are. No Katie. 

34. Harry will not ask 'Where do babies come from?’ in earshot of rival quidditch teams. 

35. Professor McGonagall is not a cat who’s animagus is a human. 

36. Alicia will not ring a bell in Wood’s ear every time he says say Katie Bell, Katie, or Bell. 

37. Bad puns are banned everyday except for Thursdays. 

38. Though spraying shampoo on Professor Snape’s head and blaming it on Zacharias Smith was funny, refrain from doing it in front of McGonagall. 

39. 'Touching Wood’ for good luck is prohibited. 

40. Shipping McGonaWood is hilarious creepy and needs to be stopped. 

41. Fred, George and Katie will not turn all of the Ravenclaw brooms into squirrels when they’re not looking, even if 'It was only a joke’ and 'We were going to change them back.' 

42. Oliver Wood does NOT sleep with a toy golden snitch. Well he totally does. 

43. Fred and George will refer to rule 21 and keep their filthy mouths shut. 

44. Holding out a broom in front of your body and sniggering 'long’ and 'hard’ is immature and will be banned. 

45. Threatening to shove broomsticks up people’s butts/nostrils is not a good way to taunt any rivals, Slytherin or not. 

46. Harry is NOT the Gryffindor mascot, and will not be forced to wear a lion costume and dance. 

47. If it is heard that anyone has been insulting the team then rule 25 will be overlooked. 

48. Reminder that Oliver Wood puns are banned, and any new ones will banned. Unless they’re really good. No. 

49. Playing ’(Oliver) Would You Rather?’ is forbidden. 

50. Draco may be a slimy git, but do it’s prohibited to turn his hair colour to red and gold, no matter how hilarious he looks. 

harry potter rated by references to chocolate
  • philosopher's stone: First introduction into chocolate for Harry after a life with the Dursleys. Harry's first birthday cake was chocolate. + Hagrid gave him a chocolate/raspberry ice cream at Fortescue's. ALSO CHOCOLATE FROGS EVERYWHERE. They are big plot point too! a sturdy introduction: 8/10
  • chamber of secrets: Hermione savagely uses chocolate cake to trick Crabbe and Goyle. But, most importantly, if Dumbledore wasn't getting hot chocolate Colin Creevey would have probably died. proving again, chocolate saves lives. A steaming book for hot chocolate with 3 mentions. decent: 5/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: absolute PEAK. A whooping 27 references. A chocolate reference every 9 pages! Honeydukes is introduced!!! "Hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows", Slabs and bars galore! + chocolate is canonly used as a remedy for sadness!! chocolate queen™, remus Lupin helps the cause with his generous handing out of chocolate. Also, Pomfrey even provided a boulder sized block, complete with a hammer to collect chunks, ingenious. EVEN THE MINISTER FOR MAGIC insisted on Harry having chocolate! -5 points because Harry says he's sick of chocolate ate the end. Yet, still a solid 11/10
  • goblet of fire: The Fat Lady makes an excellent choice by getting drunk off chocolate liqueurs, a+ example of combining chocolate and alcohol. Ron got some chocolate from Hagrid for having a sneaky lil niffler... the BIGGEST disappointment is Molly Weasley sending Hermione a tiny chocolate egg instead of a dragon sized one like harry and ron because of a Rita Skeeter™ rumour she's with Krum and Harry?? like wtff a grown ass woman almost made a child cry because of their passive aggressive chocolate giving 1/10
  • order of the phoenix: Hermione gave two boxes of chocolate for Harry's birthday, but teenage angst™ harry throws them out. Poor form m8. Also, he has a weird dream about Cedric, Cho and chocolate frogs?? Why bro. Additionally, Harry and Ginny have a romantical moment as she gives him chocolate... Before Madam Pince screams "CHOCOLATE IN THE LIBRARY- OUT- OUT!" Classic choco madness! Overall, a wild ride on the chocolate train. maybe too wild. im going with a 6/10
  • half-blood prince: Romilda Vane tried to spike Harry through chocolate cauldrons -30 points... Furthermore, Tom Riddle kills Hepzibah Smith with hot cocoa and uses that death to make a horcrux. An absolute shocker! Chocolate used to make Voldemort immortal!!! and to murder!!! improper use of a sacred food: -282939399/10
  • deathly hallows: Wow, disappointing. One chocolate card wrapper on the floor, a chocolate card and french chocolate from the Delacours. 3 mentions in 197,651 words. Disgraceful. I reckon there's correlation between how happy a story is and the amount of chocolate references. conclusively: appalling 0.015/10
  • bonus fantastic beasts: "But I made 'em cocoa?". excellent start, promising: 7/10
  • a lot of people, like neville, choose to return to hogwarts for their “eighth year”
  • a lot of them aren’t surprises - hermione, luna, draco…
  • but what is a surprise is when george weasley peeks his head into neville’s train carriage and asks if he can sit with them
  • and, unlike many of the people on the train, he grins and accepts a voucher for a free copy of the quibbler from luna and when he says “cool” she looks so happy she might burst
  • “i thought you left school,” neville says
  • “thought i’d come back,” george says, scratching his arm, “finish learning everything, so my products can be the best”
  • there’s something he’s not saying, but neville just nods
  • they share the jelly slugs they get from the trolley, and swap chocolate frog cards because neville has fabian prewett
  • “i didn’t even know he was on a card,” george says, raising an eyebrow
  • the room of requirement shows up to all the eighth years as another common room, for when they need the peace and quiet and time to themselves or time with those who have been through what they’ve been through
  • neville almost always finds george there, instead of in the common room, and he’s surprised, but he doesn’t say anything again, because he knows george is still reeling from being without fred
  • (the fact he’s even come back is a miracle)
  • but he can’t take that george is always sitting there looking miserable, so after class one day he heads over to george, feeling bold, and asks
  • “would you like to come and help me cultivate the dittany?”
  • fuck, he thinks suddenly, that’s so stupid, of course he isn’t going to want to do that, he probably thinks it’s boring-
  • but george smiles and nods, getting to his feet
  • he’s surprisingly good with the plants, and he even talks to them, just like neville
  • between the two of them, they take the dittany cuttings in far less time than neville would’ve taken alone
  • “thanks for inviting me out,” george says, leaning against the greenhouse door as neville pulls off his apron (can’t be too careful). “it’s been really hard, and you and luna and hermione have been great”
  • neville shrugs: “i just want to help”
  • “well, thank you for it”
  • neville’s not expecting it when george tentatively puts his arms up around neville’s back and leans in close, hugging him gingerly, like he’s scared of the contact
  • he’s a little nervous to do this, in case it’s wrong, but neville hugs back a little tighter and george melts into him for the briefest of moments
  • george starts to settle in a little, after; he stops sitting on the sofa on his own staring into space and helps luna out with making posters advertising for quidditch positions for ravenclaw
  • he even takes up the helm of quidditch commentator, and when neville cheers in the stands with hermione, it almost feels like nothing’s happened at all
  • he’s not going to forget the carrows and what they did to hogwarts, not easily, and george is never going to get over being alone in hogwarts, but it feels like - it feels like things aren’t completely awful, like there’s a light far far away at the end of the tunnel, but there, even if it’s difficult to reach
  • there’s a strange and utterly unpredictable mid-october heatwave, and he helps george and luna hand out ice creams to the younger students
  • george lights up when he’s busy, grinning at the first and second years and giving them a reassuring clap on the shoulder when he sends them off with their cute little ice cream cones
  • neville is struck by how sweet it is, that he’s doing his best for them, no matter how he feels on the inside
  • george is a people person, and always has been
  • “hey, nev, you want some?” he asks with a grin
  • “it’s for the younger students,” neville says stubbornly, but he can tell already that george isn’t giving up on this
  • “come onnnn,” he says, butting his shoulder against neville and giving him a playful look, and neville has to give up with a smile
  • “only if you’ll have some, too”
  • luna takes over, because the rush has died down, so neville and george sit out in one of the courtyards, basking in the peculiar heat (“the hell’s wrong with scottish weather?” george asks with a fake frown)
  • “how are you feeling?” neville asks, trying not to be awkward
  • “okay,” says george. “not feeling like i want to die, or anything, strangely enough”
  • “if you do, i’m here, and so is luna, and hermione, and everyone else…” he nudges george. “maybe even draco malfoy would be nice to you,” he says with half a wink, and george giggles
  • and they spend most of the afternoon out there, even once they’ve finished their ice creams (though george has to finish neville’s cone), just talking and laughing and reminiscing 
  • they start spending time as a group: neville, george, luna, and hermione, and dean and seamus sometimes join them, but they’re tight-knit because they’ve been through so much
  • they can relate to each other
  • but neville and george start to stick together; neville loves george’s quirks, and george appreciates that neville wants to help and spend time with him
  • george helps out around the greenhouse, and neville helps test the products… even if that means being turned into a canary again (he didn’t mind so much the first time, really)
  • they become inseparable
  • neville worries he’s a replacement for fred, but hermione assures him he can’t be, because he’s so different and not exactly a bundle of excitement and energy like fred; he’s quiet and careful, sits and waters his cacti instead of making big jokes
  • it’s an option in seventh year to help out in the first year classes - not that most people take it, because it’s a waste of the time they could be using revising for their dang n.e.w.t.s - but neville has a go, and george waits for him to walk to their next period class, grinning 
  • “next thing we know, you’re gonna be called professor longbottom,” he says
  • “you think?” neville scratches his chin, thoughtfully. “that’d be nice”
  • “you’d be great,” george assures him
  • it’s not a surprise that they get together - the only surprise is that it took them so long, but with feelings all tangled up like vines, maybe it’s understandable (but not to the younger gryffindors, anyway, who have been keeping a betting pool)
  • it’s in mid-december, and they’re sitting out in the rain in puffy jackets testing out george’s magical umbrella that creates more of a bubble than an umbrella, keeping the rain off completely, with no having to dump the umbrella in the bath later
  • neville has a flask he’s borrowed from dean, with hot chocolate and marshmallows and he’s about to share it with george when he suddenly realises how close they are and how much he wants everything for george
  • and wants everything about george
  • he just wants to be close to george, to hug him, to kiss him better
  • he leans in and touches his lips to george, a little uncertain just like their first hug, and george puts a hand round the back of his neck, pulling him closer
  • neville can feel the smile against him
  • they don’t say anything about it afterwards because there’s nothing they need to say to each other that they don’t know, so he takes a sip of hot chocolate
  • (and they kiss again because they’ve spent this long not kissing; they might as well start making use of their time)
  • “how are you feeling?” neville asks, just before they go back inside
  • “a lot like i don’t want to die,” george says, squeezing his hand, “’cause i think i’ve got something to live for”

Artists, writers, meme-makers, and friends! 

Join us February 10th-14th for a fandom-wide Carry On Valentine’s Celebration!

Five days of prompts and fun leading up to Valentine’s day! 

You’re invited to make art, fanfiction, moodboards, playlists, headcanons, or anything else you can think of to celebrate this awesome event!

Prompts

February 10th: Friendship Day

February 11th: Valentine’s Chocolate

February 12th: Secret Admirers

February 13th: Valentine’s Cards

February 14th: Valentine’s Day 

We will be tracking the tags “Carry On Valentine’s Celebration” and “Carry On Valentine’s”, so we will be sharing all of your amazing work! You can also tag us in your posts, @carryon-valentines.

This celebration is hosted by @carryonsimoncarryon and @eroticgropefest, so we are open for all questions involving this event (: Message us here or on our blogs.

We can’t wait to see what you all come up with, so have an amazing Valentine’s week :D

(Shoutout to @snazzybaz for the blog banner, icon, and post header!)

Harry Potter Questions

Harry potter themed ask meme. these are important questions.

1. Hogwarts house (of course)

2. What is your patronus?

3. Owl, cat, or toad?

4. If you were to put a piece of your soul into a horcrux (not that I’m condoning this!), what would you put it into?

5. What would your amortentia smell like?

6. Which Hogwarts subject would be your favorite?

7. Which Hogwarts subject would you be best at?

8.  If you were an animagus, what would you turn into?

9. What would be your marauder name?

10. What is your favorite spell?

11. If you had the chance to use Felix Felicis (liquid luck) to do better on a test without consequences, would you do it?

12. The wand, the stone, or the cloak?

13. What is the length, wood, and core of your wand?

14. If you were to design something for Weasely’s Wizard Wheezes, what would it be?

15. What would you see when faced with a boggart?

16. What image would you think of to fight your boggart?

17.  What would be your quidditch position?

18. What’s your favorite wizarding food?

19. What would it say on your chocolate frog card?

20. Invent a spell you think would be useful.

21. What happy memory would you use for your patronus?

22. Would you ever use an unforgivable spell?

23. Would you be a prefect?

24. What would be your dream job in the wizarding world?

25. Would you enter your name in the Triwizard tournament?

26. Would you rather go to Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, or Durmstrang?

27. Would you join S.P.E.W.?

28. Which electives would you take? (Alchemy, Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Muggle Studies, Study of Ancient Runes)

29. How would you use the marauder’s map?

30. What’s your favorite magical creature?

4

EYEBROWS INTENSIFY - TAKE TWO!

VALENTINE’S DAY 2013
VALENTINE’S DAY 2015

VALENTINE’S DAY 2016

In celebration of me never getting anything ever (hahaha *sob*) have a Valentine’s Day comic! Even though Cosmo Magazine is full of crap, I think Derek somehow pulled it off!

♥ Other Derek Hale-themed ideas for the card (and puns): 
- Have some chocolate while eyebrows this card
- His eyebrows are so thick because that’s where he hides his love
- ‘The Wild Hair of Love’
- His eyebrows may disappear when he wolfs out, but his love does not
- '3 Hairs Short of a Unibrow: A Timeless Love Story’
- His eyebrows say 'no’, but his dick says 'hella’

Aaaaaand finally, a haiku:

Coarse and strong they sit
Like furrows, they sink downward
His glare is scary

♥ HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!