chocholatechip

blueboxesandchips  asked:

With this letter I ask admittance into the BirthayUnending. As my 20th birthday tomorrow, May 4th, is also the (unofficial) star wars day I bring you lightsabers in plenty, I bring crocheted heating-blankets for the many cats to sleep on, chocholatechip cookies dipped in even more chocolate, ravens' feathers to use in spells and books to read to the zombies. If it is not enough I also bring boxes filled with geek-culture franchise for everyone! May the force be with you!

WELCOME TO, YOU BIRTHDAY CH–

IS THAT A LIGHTSABER?  OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE INTERESTING.  PLEASE, COME AND ENTER, AND BE HOME.

HERE IS YOUR SEAT AT THE TABLE.  HERE IS YOUR CONICAL HAT.  HERE IS A CLEAR-CUT FIELD, CREATED BY SOMEONE…UNWISE…WHERE YOU MAY TEACH THE OTHER BIRTHDAY CHILDREN TO SWING THEIR MAGIC SPACE LASERS WITHOUT HURTING EACH OTHER.  ANYONE WHO INTENTIONALLY DISMEMBERS ANYONE ELSE WILL BE GIVEN A SWIFT INTRODUCTION TO THE CORN.

WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY UNENDING.