“When I was playing Lucifer who had occupied Castiel’s body who was pretending to be Castiel to other people…That was a little bit hard to keep a handle on. That was a pretty challenging moment for me.”
This has been my dream. We’ve come such a long way fighting for women’s wrestling and tonight, I think we proved that women can hang. This is an era of women’s wrestling and we’re taking over and we’re changing the game.To have this and to know that I am the leader of the women’s division now, I couldn’t be more proud. [..] It’s the era of the boss.
I can’t believe that after only three months I have already
made it to this milestone! I’d like to thank every single person who is
following me: you guys rock and I appreciate you all immensely! Without you interacting with my posts and talking to me I would just be screaming into the void ;)
currently follow around 400 blogs, but so many are my favourite that this is
basically 1/3 of ‘em :)
Thank you so much for filling up my dash with your interesting thoughts and analyses, wonderful
creations, beautiful selfies, etc. I am so grateful you are all willing to share
your awesomeness with the rest of us :D
It’s because of you all that every day I look
forward to when I can get back on tumblr.
Destiel drabble 1554 words PG AU centered entirely around Dean’s fear of flying AO3 link
When he told the story of how he met his
husband to new acquaintances, Dean would always start by admitting that
he hadn’t noticed the other man when he first boarded the plane.
Usually, a guy that looked like him - messy dark brown hair, piercing
blue eyes, strong, lean body with muscled legs and the finest ass Dean
had seen in quite some time - would’ve caught Dean’s eye immediately.
But Dean was…distracted, to say the least. He had been trying to stave
off a panic attack since he was waiting at the gate for the plane to
start boarding, and by the time he’d reached his seat - 17A, a window
seat - he was breathing shallowly and sweating uncontrollably even
though the air inside the craft was cold.
Preoccupied with trying to keep himself calm and berating himself for
not asking his boss to reconsider the necessity of this trip, Dean
missed the dark-haired man coming down the aisle and sitting down in the
aisle seat of the middle row in front of him. If he had been paying
attention, Dean would have noticed the man’s assessing eyes on him as he
was making himself comfortable. But no, Dean was too busy praying that
the seat next to him would remain unoccupied so that he could at least
panic in relative privacy.
No such luck, though, and a mere five minutes after Dean had arrived,
a woman suddenly plopped down next to him. She looked to be in her
forties, with just a little too much foundation and powder caked on her
face, and lipstick in an unflattering shade of orange-pink to match the
color of the blouse she was wearing. “Hi! I’m Gina, nice to meet you!”
she enthused, sounding way too chipper for someone on an early morning
Dean was utterly uninterested in starting any kind of conversation at
the moment that didn’t revolve around discussing the most likely manner
of their impending death, but he politely responded with a curt “Dean”
hoping that his obvious lack of enthusiasm would put her off.
It didn’t. For the next ten minutes, Dean was forced to listen to
stories about Gina’s husband (“he’s always working so late, the poor
dear”), her two chihuahuas Abby and Growley, her plans for this trip
(“I’m going to see my sister to help her plan her wedding because she
just can’t cope without me, bless her”) and her thoughts on American
politics (“that Ted Cruz was such a sweet Christian boy. Trump is far
too vulgar for me so I think I just won’t vote this year”). Luckily, she
didn’t require any more input from Dean than a few nods and affirming
grunts to show that he was listening.
The whole situation frustrated him, which didn’t help his nerves one
iota, and Dean could feel himself steadily getting worse throughout the
diatribe. When he heard the announcement that boarding would soon be
completed, he thought, “I can’t do this. I need to leave,” and started
to unbuckle his belt. He was about to turn to Gina, who was still
talking about something - the weather, maybe? - and ask her to let him
pass, when suddenly a man was standing next to their seats.
“Excuse me,” the man said, his voice deep and gravelly and his eyes
fixed on Gina with a neutral expression, “but could I speak to you for a
moment?” Gina was visibly flustered, and Dean couldn’t blame her
because the man was fucking gorgeous. Just looking at him provided a
welcome, momentary distraction from his predicament.
“O- of course,” Gina stuttered, and busied herself with unbuckling
her seatbelt. The man nodded, and while Gina wasn’t looking he shot Dean
an unreadable look - and was that a wink?! - before turning on his heel
and walking to the midsection of the plane where the toilets were with
an eager Gina in tow.
Dean was left bewildered, thinking he must have been mistaken as it
was surely impossible the man had actually winked at him. Obviously, the
fear had made him delusional. Great.
From his seat he couldn’t see either of them, nor could he hear them
as they were too far away. He would’ve paid to be a fly on that
wall, though, and curiosity was eating at him. Luckily he didn’t have to
wait long. They both returned after only a few minutes, Gina looking
apprehensive and not so perky anymore, the man wearing a small, pleased
“Well, Dean, it seems I made a mistake with my seat number and
accidentally took this gentleman’s seat,” Gina said, laughing nervously.
She was a terrible liar. Grabbing her purse that had been wedged
underneath the seat in front of her, she straightened and said, “it was
nice to meet you, take care now!” and left in a hurry, sitting down in
the seat that had previously been occupied by the mystery man. The very
same man who was putting his hand luggage in the compartment above their
heads before taking the seat next to Dean.
Dean was confused. None of it made any sense, and he was starting to
feel the panic creep up again. The man turned to him and leaned in,
putting his lips near Dean’s ear (which didn’t help with the flustered
feeling Dean was already experiencing). “I apologize if I was
presumptuous, but I couldn’t help but notice you seemed to be
experiencing some discomfort and anxiety related to flying and that Mrs.
Parker’s…enthusiasm wasn’t helping,” he said in a low, quiet and
pleasant rumble that sent shivers down Dean’s spine.
“What -” the word came out hoarse and Dean had to lick his lips and
swallow before continuing. He did notice the man’s eyes tracking the
movement of his tongue. “- did you do to make her switch seats?”
The man smiled, looking just a tiny bit pleased with himself. He had a
very nice smile, Dean found himself thinking. “I told her I am a doctor
and had noticed some mild flu symptoms on you. I explained to her how
quickly viral infections spread inside an airplane, and that it would be
best for her to switch seats with me since I have received the latest
flu shot and am therefore relatively safe from infection.”
For a few moments it was quiet between them as Dean tried to sort
through what the man had just told him. Eventually, he said, “how much
of that is actually true?”
The man grinned at him, his blue eyes twinkling. “Well, I am
a doctor,” he said cheekily. At that, Dean couldn’t help but burst out
laughing - breathless gasps that released much of the tension he had
been carrying and made him miss the announcement the captain made to the
cabin crew to prepare for takeoff. He did notice when they started
moving, and immediately tore his gaze away from the man to look out the
“Shit,” he thought, “too late to leave now. I’m so fucked. Shit shit
shit…” the litany of swear words continued in his head like a chant,
and his heart rate started speeding up again. This was going horrible
wrong, he was going to pass out, he-
Dean’s breath hitched when he felt the man take his hand. He slowly
turned to him and he must’ve looked pretty dazed and confused, because
the man smiled that sunny smile at him again and said, “Breathe, Dean.
Long, deep, slow breaths. Here, follow my lead.” The man started
inhaling and exhaling slowly, and Dean couldn’t help but be drawn into
it. All through takeoff, he held the man’s hypnotic gaze and breathed in
sync with him, falling into some kind of trance.
“You’re doing so well, Dean, you’re being so good,” the man murmured,
stroking his hand gently, intimately. When Dean came back to himself,
they had already stabilized at cruising altitude, and the fasten
seatbelt sign had been switched off. He felt this deep calm that he had
rarely experienced before and certainly never on an airplane. He shot a
grateful smile at the stranger. “Thanks for that, uh, what’s your name?”
he said, embarrassed that this man had already helped him so much but
he didn’t even know the guy’s name.
“Castiel Novak. Nice to meet you, Dean…”
“Winchester. Dean Winchester. Uh, great to meet you too. Sorry you
had to see me like this,” Dean said, running a hand through his hair,
his cheeks reddening with belated embarrassment.
“Not at all. Fear of flying is very common and quite understandable.
It is an involuntary response and you cannot be blamed for your body’s
reaction to it. I am just happy I was able to assist you,” the man –
Castiel – said.
Dean suddenly realized they were still holding hands. He was about to
retract his own when he realized that actually, he really liked holding
Castiel’s hand. And Castiel sure as hell wasn’t pulling back, either.
In fact, Dean was feeling quite brave, and decided to gently squeeze
Castiel’s hand instead. He could see the man’s eyes soften as he
squeezed back, and they fell into an easy conversation that lasted the
entire two-hour flight.
Dean arrived in Denver clutching the business card of one Dr. Castiel Novak, his private number written on the back.
…Lucifer had done more damage to Cas than we thought?
Dean heaves himself to his feet, groaning when a sharp pain
sears through his head. He glances at Sam, who is still staring at Chuck’s
motionless body on the ground with a shocked expression on his face. Taking a
quick stock of Sam’s injuries, Dean judges them to be superficial, and
promptly shifts his attention to Cas.
Rushing over to him, which turned out to be a bad idea
because his side is just one big bruise that hurts like hell, he cradles Cas’s
head between his hands, murmuring “no, no, no, oh God please no” when he doesn’t
get a reaction out of him.
“Cas! Wake up man. This isn’t funny.” His voice cracks
halfway through and he has to swallow to get rid of the lump in his throat. “Come
on, Cas, you friggin’ idiot angel,” he says, husky and broken. “Why’d you have
to go and do that, huh? I knew I should’ve said something sooner, dammit.”
Wallowing in self-blame, Dean doesn’t immediately
notice Cas’s eyes opening slowly. When he finally does, he finds Cas gazing at him, looking confused and lost.
“Cas! Are you ok? Are you hurt? Is Lucifer still in there? Is -” Dean resists the urge to fire off a few more questions to let
Cas speak. Cas inhales slowly and hesitates for a moment before saying
Hell YES they paid off the “self-sacrifice as a first resort is bad” arc beautifully. The soul collecting ended up being completely useless, but that was the whole point of it. DEAN DIDN’T HAVE TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF. NONE OF THE WINCHESTERS DID. NOR CAS. I mean, this is so huge because it’s SPN we’re talking about. I’m so pleased with that.
Even though it seemed a bit OOC to me at first that Sam and Cas would so easily accept Dean’s sacrifice, I understand that it was necessary to underline the running theme of breaking codependency and respecting each other’s decisions about their own bodies and actions - their self-agency. This was also reflected in the talk Dean had with Cas in the Impala. This theme really came to fruition and I’m very happy about that.
The impala scene: I’m glad we got it. I have super mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it’s fantastic that Dean put it to Cas plainly how he (and Sam, cause he used the word “we”) feels about him. And that he acknowledges that they have been neglecting him and that they can be quite self-centered. And that he realises that Cas is “always there” and always pull through for them. “You’re the best friend we’ve ever had” was wonderful. Really, it’s one of the highest compliments Dean can pay. Also the word “brother”. He doesn’t use that lightly, as we all know. But….no touching in the Impala :( haha I really wanted some touching. And TBH I don’t know why, but the scene felt kind of….distant for me. I felt that Jensen, in particular, played it very even. For example, I missed the intense staring (*cough*eyesex*cough*)that these two usually have going on. And driving never stops Dean from looking at his passengers so that doesn’t count as an excuse.
Cemetary scene: Ugh I almost cried there. Dean describing his funeral. The DeanxSam hug. The CasxDean hug with Cas initiating it and Dean’s face at the very end of the hug is fucking gut-wrenching. “I’ll go with you”. It was really good.
Amara & God!Chuck’s arc conclusion: YES! CALLED IT! I totally knew it was going to be related to the sun and that they would have to be the ones to become a family again and go somewhere else (I wonder where). Alpha & Omega joined together, coming full circle. Wonderful!
Just to reiterate: NOBODY DIED IN AN SPN FINALE HOLY SHIT.
Amara saying “what you’ve made. It’s beautiful” while looking at Dean. I love this line! I love Dean so much <3
Mary’s return. What Dean needed the most. Really excited to see what role she will play in S12. I need a scene with Mary, Dean and Cas so bad.
Sam x Lady Toni: Come on guys, you don’t really believe she actually shot him dead? At the very worst, she’ll have injured him in his shoulder or something. TBH this looks like a classic set up for an enemies-to-lovers romance. Too bad cause I liked Eileen, but I’ll be damned happy if Sam finally gets a new love-interest after all this time. He deserves it. But we’ll see what role she will play.
Cas being baninshed: To me that’s not such a big deal - Cas has been banished by sigils plenty of time - as have other angels. It’s only a temporary measure. I’m reading stuff about heaven being closed and where Cas would go and all, but honestly I don’t think the writers thought that far. They just needed him gone for the final scene. He’ll be back, I’m quite sure he’s unharmed!
Anyway, these are my very long first thoughts. All in all I liked the ep though of course some plotlines deserved more pay-off than they got (most notably Cas’ depression arc). But this is SPN. We’re never gonna get long scenes where characters talk about their emotions, and most definitely not in the season finale. I wasn’t expecting much more so can’t be too disappointed, even though it really is a damned shame.
And yes, I am still holding out hope for destiel as endgame, despite everything.