chipped ham

good food feelings
  • opening a family sized bag of chips and having the feeling of “i never have to buy chips ever again because there are so many chips in this bag”
  • the feeling of a cold glass bowl full of ice cream making your hands nice and chilly
  • biting into a smore that you thought you cooked too much to find that it still tastes delicious
  • really hot hot chocolate with really cold whipped cream on top
  • the perfect state that cereal reaches from 30-seconds to 90-seconds after pouring the milk where it’s not so hard that it scrapes the top of your mouth but it’s not too mushy that it feels gross
  • the crunch of lettuce and onion you get when taking the first bite of a warm burger
  • opening a soda on a warm summer night sleepover 
  • sorting fruit snacks by shape and then eating the extras so all of the groups are equal and then eating 1 fruit snack from each of the groups until they’re all gone so there’s no imbalance
  • having leftovers that still taste good after reheating them
  • otter-pops halfway through melting so ur not just eating ice but also it’s not just weirdly thick fruit juice
  • eating alone at home, allowing yourself to eat whatever comfort food or weird combination you want without the fear of people judging what you eat or how much you eat. tortilla chips in a ham sandwich? delicious. dipping carrots in ketchup? live it up. pancakes for dinner? hell yeah. speaking of which…
  • pancakes, bacon, sausage, egg, and hasbrowns for dinner
  • having a warm feeling in your stomach after eating some good soup 
  • carrying a good-sized bag of snacks out of a gas station midway into a long road trip
  • movie popcorn. somehow popcorn at a movie theater ALWAYS tastes different than homemade popcorn
  • opening a box of pizza and seeing the full pizza there. no one has eaten any yet, and there is a 0% chance of opening it to be disappointed that there’s none left. it’s all there, and it’s all fresh, and it’s destiny is now in your hands
  • any/every form of potato based food. just, like, in general. tater tots, french fries, hashbrowns, potato medallions, mashed potatoes, etc. all of them are perfect foods and all of them taste perfect w/ ketchup
  • a big ol mouthful of sticky rice
  • eating on the couch while watching TV with your loved ones
  • tha cronch of appl
  • the feeling of satisfaction you get when you try a new recipe and it tastes good on the first try
  • having a friend cook you something that tastes good and seeing the look of joy on their face when they see you like it
  • eating something youve been craving all day and feeling 100% satisfied with it

1.) Watch me unhinge my jaw and swallow thousands of perogies at once without breaking eye contact.
2.) Systematically replace your blood with water from one of our three rivers to gain one of our three patented, superhuman Pittsburgh Abilities. (Allegheny = Superbowl Champion, Monongahela = The Midas Touch but Heinz ketchup instead of gold, Ohio = advantage on Dexterity saving throws, but not, like, an IRL equivalent or something, literally just for D&D)
3.) Donate your body to Primanti Brother’s to be used as chipped ham.
4.) Puncture one of the Silver Clouds at the Warhol Museum and breathe deep of its helium to learn of dark and enigmatic prophecies.
5.) Escape this cruel reality. People will tell you that our city has a lot of “potholes”. This is a misunderstanding. Pittsburgh accents are tricky, and what we’re actually saying is “portals”. Though impossible to accurately discern where they may lead you, locals say that you can get clues by reading their jagged, asphalt edges like tea leaves.
6.) Get lost in our horrible labyrinth of streets and sports arenas. If you manage to make it to the end, you’ll find Sidney Crosby, Fushigi-ing two crystal hockey pucks in tight, tight pants.
7.) Encase your body in steel like a low-budget Han Solo.
8.) Try to have a normal conversation with someone’s super racist dad.


I flew back to the States on a business trip yesterday and am spending Easter weekend with my parents out in the country. Jetlag woke me up around 5am this morning and I was starving, but didn’t want to wake the rest of the house by going down to the kitchen. So I decided to unpack the snacks I brought back from Japan, which included this bag that was perfect for breakfast… Eggs Benedict Tortilla Chips! Not sure why they’re not labeled as Doritos, but I have to say, these were definitely some of the best tasting chips I’ve ever eaten out of Japan!! The egg, cheese and ham flavors are all quite prominent, and there’s even a hint of lettuce to them, which they even call out on the packaging! I’m truly amazed at how they so perfectly captured the complexity of a dish like eggs benedict in the form of a corn chip!

Things Irish people say:

I’ve picked up on quite a number of words and phrases Irish people say since moving to Ireland last August. Here’s a list I’ve been working on and will continue to update. This list has also been approved by real live Irish people such as @moonmanonthesun and a few others who don’t have tumblr.

•Fair play to ya
•That’s grand so
•Like (like all the effing time)
•Yer man (or woman)
•Bye bye bye bye bye (when hanging up on the phone)
•What’s the craic?
•Cardigan/jumper (sweaters)
•Hob (stove top)
•Lads (refers to boys, young people of both genders, and groups of people)
•The Green Man (green light walking signal)
•Footpath (sidewalk)
•Feck (and more often much worse language like the F-word)
•F*ck (literally everyone and their grandmothers say it)
•Calling over (coming over to visit/hang out)
•Phone/phoning (when using the phone)
•Lashing rain
•Roasting (used to describe the temp outdoors/indoors and body temp)
•Raging (furious)
•Shift/shifting (to make out/making out)
•Oh no
•No, no no no, no no
•Catch a lift (get a car ride)
•Chips (french fries)
•Crisps (potato chips)
•Bacon/rashers (ham)
•Crispy bacon (bacon)
•That’s gas
•Come ‘mere
•Skinny trackies (they’re everywhere…lads need to learn a few things about fashion)
•Birds (chicks/girls)
•Pull/Pullin’ (taking home a girl or boy, one-night stand)
•Knacker (note: derogatory term that is directed at lower class citizens and Irish Travellers. Rude, don’t say this.)
•Knackered (note: not derogatory. It means tired or sleepy) •Mad (means great or straight up crazy)
•Crusty (hippies)
•Fair (pretty much)
•Fab (fabulous, usually said by women)
•Half *insert number 1-12*, for ex: half 6 (to denote the half hour mark)
•That’s class
•Ah go on
•Choooooooon! (Tune)
•Haych (the letter H)
•Daecent (lovely/good)
•Beour (a lovely looking woman)
•Yurt (indicates happiness)
•Quid (bucks/money)
•The boot (car trunk)
•Come on so


List of words for drunkenness:


anonymous asked:

uuh im realizing that sending this ask is kinda useless because i forgot the name of the place but in pittsburgh there's an amazing little hipstery taco place. they have mexican fruit sodas, the best nachos with mango, jalapeno sour cream and a cheese and awesome vegetarian and meat tacos. its pretty small and cheap actually, but its just a good pittsburgh experience i remembered...

As someone who lives in Pittsburgh and has no idea what you’re talking about, it was probably a mirage you experienced while trying to navigate your way through our fine city’s rusty labyrinth of potholes and sports arenas. It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed.

For the first three months I lived here, I was so out of my mind on lingering steel mill fumes that someone convinced me notorious trickster god Sidney Crosby was a mere mortal hockey boy. We all make mistakes.

Woke up three days later in a vat of chipped ham and perogies. It was pretty comfortable as far as mysterious vats of food go, but Andrew Carnegie and Andy Warhol were haunting the absolute shit out of it, so I had to bolt.

Cum home for lunch!  Yesterday I decided to enjoy my chipped ham sandwich with cum.  Chipped ham feels great on my dick and it isn’t too messy.  I’m edging here so I stop just short of orgasm and let the cum just flow out.

anonymous asked:

can you do how the characters would act on Christmas!

It’s not even December yet and I am sO HYPE for Christmas you don’t even KNOW BOI

Inspiration for this scenario, yo!


  • Is so hype for the new game releases
  • Bakes holiday sweets with you
  • Loves any gift you give him tbh
  • Doesn’t have the money to buy you anything and he feels really bad, but he makes an AMAZING latte art masterpiece of YOUR FACE
  • Thinks he didn’t do a good job and you’re just like “???” because it’s fUCKING FANTASTIC
  • Spends the rest of the day cuddling up with you watching cute Christmas films


  • Totally starred in at least 5 Christmas related musicals; I shit you not
  • Insists you watch them with him
  • Makes you want to see him in an elf costume more often because HOT DAMN
  • You can be my “little helper” boi ;)
  • The beast is AWAKENED when you show him your sexy Santa outfit
  • Like, fuck the dinner; let’s get it on rn
  • But in all seriousness doe he offers to do the cooking so you can relax
  • CRIES when you get him a gift (a mirror)
  • He’s just so touched you thought of him when you picked something for him
  • Gets you a pretty heart diamond necklace with earrings and helps you put it on
  • Says something cringeworthy touching like, “But no fine jewel ever outshines you, my princess~”
  • Ends the evening with stargazing in the cold with sweaters on
  • Passionate kiss under the stars


  • Studied how to make peppermint bark coffee and asks for your feedback
  • Literally NAILED IT like oml can she be any more perfect? Das waifu right dere
  • Isn’t picky with gifts, as long as it comes from the heart
  • Takes you ice skating as your gift!
  • Never told you, but she used to ice skate back in her college days
  • So she’s like, AMAZING
  • You’d keep falling but she gets you up and guides you with her hands
  • Lets go of you once you get the hang of it
  • “I’m doing it! I’m really doing it, Jaehee!!”
  • “*giggles* I knew you could.”
  • Goes shopping with you at Barnes & Noble 
  • Gets books for y’all to read together
  • Falls asleep with you on couch during reading session


  • Honestly doesn’t understand the true meaning of Christmas
  • Uses money for everything
  • Fills the ENTIRE FLOOR with gifts for you
  • You spend 6 hours unwrapping them all
  • Takes you out to a five-star Italian restaurant on the other side of town for dinner
  • Like, fancy dishes
  • Fancy dishes EVERYWHERE
  • They’re all blurry af but his camera roll full of pictures of you is literally the best gift he can get
  • But then you give him a framed picture of you holding Elizabeth 3rd in your arms and he mentally loses his mind
  • He makes a copy to have them in both of his offices
  • Ends the night with “one more gift” HUEHUEHUE ;)


  • Literally tramples down the stairs to the Christmas tree
  • Almost knocks it over
  • Claims “Santa” ate the gingerbread cookies you baked
  • Got you a couple of things, but he got you the best gift of all
  • Like, how tf???
  • You named him Mr. Cuddles
  • If you get him a new flavor of Honey Buddha chips and Dr. Pepper, he’ll LOVE YOU EVEN  MORE THAN HE ALREADY DOES
  • Down for tacky sweaters
  • Christmas meme hunting
  • The one with the best memes gets to pick what board game to play
  • He wins
  • He picks Scrabble and OWNS YOUR ASS IN IT
  • “Saeyoung, ‘queefing’ isn’t a real word.”
  • “YES IT IS”
  • Wears nothing but an apron and attempts to cook the dinner but almost burns down the kitchen before you come in to save the day
  • “I thought it would taste better with it!”
  • RIP ham; y’all just order pizza instead and call it a night

Update from last week: got my phone back! Some guy found it on the floor (don’t ask) and returned it. The jacket was the target of the theft, as I suspected (and now I’m sick af because it was 42F when I was trying to get home - with a sheer top on 😅).

Anyway, let’s see what’s been happening for the past week.

Interesting and fun stuff

Recipe lists

Food days

Top recipes

Homemade Pizza Roll Recipe

Tortellini with Pesto and Roasted Veggies



Lemon Sheet Cake





Lemon Blueberry Pancake Bites

Blackberry Cake Recipe



4-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

Garlic Parmesan Roasted Carrots

Sunflower Cake

And don’t forget this ancient tumblr user proverb: Why is a porn blog following me.

staticghxst  asked:

Long Way Down - Food

Long Way Down AU - 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12

Felicity would have killed a man for a slice of pizza.

An order of french fries. A Big Belly Burger special with the works and a strawberry milkshake. Sweet and sour chicken over fried rice and egg rolls from the little Chinese dive a block over from her house. Ice cream.

Instead she sat on her little mattress with the tray that had been slid through the slot in her door for lunch, and picked at apple slices, potato chips, and a ham and cheese sandwich with a slightly wilted leaf of lettuce on it.

They had taken in the last two weeks to including with her midday meal a tiny, collapsible paper cup with a pair of gummy vitamins. She was probably not getting enough vitamin D locked away in this sightless hole.

With an abrupt beep, the door opened and Felicity stared as Tommy strolled through, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved v-neck T shirt in a mockingly familiar shade of green. The color looked cruelly good on him.

“Tommy,” Felicity murmured in wary, confused greeting. He almost never visited at mealtime.

He smiled at her blandly and moved to the table. He reached for the chair like he would move it towards the bed but quickly dropped his hand, head shaking with a rueful smirk, as if he’d just remembered it—like everything in this cell—was bolted to the floor. Instead, he turned towards her. “Scoot over.”

Felicity hesitated, thought about being difficult. But instead she sighed and shuffled closer to the foot of the bed, hands clutching her tray, food still mostly uneaten. She just didn’t have the fight in her today. “What are you doing here?”

Tommy dropped heavily onto the bed beside her, grinning as she nearly fumbled her tray and glared at him. He slouched back, shoulders hitting the wall as he casually laced his fingers together over his stomach. “Just checking in. It’s been a busy week.”

Felicity picked up her sandwich, rolling her eyes heavily. “I hadn’t noticed.”

He chuckled and she bit bit a little viciously into her sandwich, grimacing at the revoltingly familiar flavor of ham and cheese sticking to the roof of her mouth. She almost thought that the League was lucky she wasn’t a practicing Jew and didn’t keep Kosher, but the reality was they were probably well aware. Just as they knew her contacts prescription, her dietary needs, her allergies, her birth control schedule.

She wanted to spit the sandwich out, sick with the thought of how much of her life they’d pawed through and invaded.

But she swallowed. Took another bite.

She ate because the weakness of hunger wouldn’t do her any favors in here. Not one.

And she didn’t trust them not to force a tube down her throat if she attempted any sort of starvation protest.

But if—when when when—she got out of here, she was never, ever eating another ham and cheese sandwich for as long as she lived.

She stared at her tray as she mused bitterly—and then Tommy’s long fingers broke her vision, reaching in and snatching a potato chip. Her head whipped up and she gaped at him in scornful incredulity as he popped the chip into his mouth and crunched. “Really?”

Tommy shrugged and grinned with closed lips as he chewed. Swallowing he, teased, “What, you can’t share?”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him viciously. “They barely feed me as it is, almost the exact same thing every day, and you, you—who can come and go as you please, run through a drive-thru and indulge in fast food or go to a fancy restaurant and get real food—you’re stealing my chips?”

Tommy laughed—surprised and a little rueful—and reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Well, when you put it like that, it is kind of a dick move, isn’t it.”

She pursed her lips. “It really is.”

He sat up and smirked. “Here, let me make it up to you.”

He leaned back against the wall again and lifted his hips off the bed to dig into his jeans pocket. Felicity leaned away, curious but cautious. “What the hell are you doing?”

Quickly sticking his tongue out at her, he pulled his hand free, fingers curled into his palm, and sat up straight again. “Well, I was gonna give you this to make us square, but if you wanna be like that.”

Felicity rolled her eyes and set her lunch tray on the mattress beside her. Snatching hold of Tommy wrist, he playfully resisted just a little as she pried up his fingers. She held his wrist in one hand his fingers open in the other, and stared in surprise at what lay on his palm. “Is that—?”

Tommy huffed in amusement, joggling his hand slightly. “It’s just a chocolate, Felicity. You want it?”

Eyes wide, her gaze flew to his face, searching, but there seemed to be no cruel ultimatum lurking in his expression. Licking her lips, she slowly released his wrist, fingertips ghosting over the skin of his palm as she carefully lifted the little individually wrapped Andes mint from his hand.

Suddenly, her heart began racing and she couldn’t unwrap the little candy fast enough, mouth watering at the sight of the dark chocolate and pale green layer of mint. Felicity hesitated barely a second before popping the whole, small chocolate into her mouth.

The flavors hit her tongue—bittersweet chocolate, a cool, sugary rush of mint, rich and delicious—and Felicity’s eyes rolled closed, a whimpering groan muffled in her throat as the chocolate began to melt and coat her mouth.

“Wow,” Tommy laughed. “That good, huh?”

Felicity flushed, eyes opening as she ducked her head and looked sideways at Tommy. She said nothing, though, savoring the traces of chocolate and mint on her tongue for as long as possible.

Tommy’s smile was unexpectedly soft, almost kind. “Are we even now? For the chip.”

Helpless to the upward tugging at the corners of her lips, Felicity nodded. Swallowing the last traces of the candy reluctantly, she murmured, “Thank you.”


I’ve been knocked on my ass with a brutal head-cold but wanted to share this with you all:

An original recipe by Sarah Coates for The Sugar Hit.

Serves 2


For the sandwich:

4 slices of good bread



coleslaw (recipe below)

hot chips (recipe below)

To make this sambo, you just pile ham, coleslaw chips and mayo onto bread. It’s awesome. If you want to make your own coleslaw and hot chips here are my tried, tested, and really super easy instructions:

 For the coleslaw:

¼ of a small white cabbage

1 tbsp grain mustard

2 tsp cider vinegar

2 tsp olive oil

Finely slice the cabbage and then make a dressing by whisking the remaining ingredients together. Toss, and serve.

 For the chips:

2 small potatoes

canola oil

Preheat the oven to 400f/200C. Slice the potatoes into 1 cm chips, and place in a saucepan with cold water. Bring to the boil and boil for 3 minutes. Once the potatoes are on the heat, place the oil in a baking dish, and place in the oven to heat up. Drain the boiled chips, and place them carefully into the preheated oil, and then bake for 25 minutes, before turning them and giving them another 10 minutes. BEST OVEN CHIPS EVER.

anonymous asked:

Momma, there's 100,000+ homeless people in my city alone. Yesterday I saw an entire family (2 little boys and parents) living in a doorway. I also always see a woman about my age holding her cat and looking desolate on the corner. How can I help???

You could do a lot of things.

You could distribute care packages. Gather your friends and take them to the grocery store. Buy the stuff to make meals for them. I would suggest pb&j, and then turkey and cheese. Cause some folk are allergic to peanut butter and if they’re jewish you don’t want to make them eat ham. Lil’ chips, bottled water, it’s not a lot but it’s a help.

If you can get enough money together just like. Give them money. Divide it, put it in envelopes, and just walk around giving it to people. Or save it all up and give it to the first homeless person you see.

You could make it a monthly thing, inspire the people in your neighborhood to help out. Invite small businesses to join you. Offer to say, wear their logo on your shirts or print it onto flyers in exchange for their help. Advertise their participation in the community.

-Lou the Lobster