chip me

Remember Patty?

That’s the new girl. She knows a lot of the rules already, got her name picked out and everything. Patty, come over here, say hi! Make her feel welcome, yeah? Oh, a couple of you might know her from that party right after New Year's - y'know, when Danger Dude was off his head and wanted to dive into the river? Yeah, Patty was one of the people trying to hold him back. She also punched Yellow’s ex in the face. So basically, she’s a handy gal to have around, ain’t that right Patty? Ha, yeah she’s good people. Oh, could you ple-ah-I mean - do you mind grabbing me some chips from the table? Thanks Patty. See what I mean? Good people.

Okay, thanks for being cool guys. I know most of you were at that party - Ginger, I know it was you who punched Yellow’s ex. We all do. But Patty - she just introduced herself, told me those stories like I wasn’t there, so I had to play along. I’m not the only one getting - y'know - vibes, right? Aw man, she’s coming back. Have any of you seen her around before? No-one’s heard of her? Does nobody remember Patty?

No? Thank god. Because I sure as hell don’t.


evisceratedunicorn  asked:

You know, all these "customer gets mad that we don't have chip reader" stories got me thinking. You'd think customers would realize that if their credit/debit cards still have that weird generally black or silver strip thingy on them THAT THEY HAVE LITERALLY ALWAYS HAD, they'd still be able to swipe if the chip isn't able to be used... But I suppose that takes too much common sense for the species known as "customers." :/

—Boyfriend! Jimin au

Request: I love your boyfriend tags can you do one for Jimin and Jin

Authors note: Thank you! You can find the Jin one here

Boyfriend Jimin au 

  •  Always having his eyes on you thinking about how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you 
  • Feeding each other almost everytime you eat
  • Cute back hugs at anytime at all
  • Cute couple photo shoots together
  • Taking care of you when he comes home to find you asleep
  • Spending money on each other all the time
  • Jumping on beds at 2 am
  • Teaming up on Jungkook and Taehyung together
  • Holds you when you’re sad and softly sings to you
  • Helps you with your extra work so you don’t get stressed
  • Blushing when you compliment him but burrys his head in your shoulder to hide it
  • Watching funny youtube videos together
  • “Jiminie!!” “I love you to darling” “aw i love you but can you get me the chips?”
  • Not leaving you alone with the other members, he’s always by your side
  • Always giving you soft kisses on your forehead
  • Attempts braiding your hair for you
  • Letting you do his stage makeup for him
  • Making you breakfast in the morning and vice versa


Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

  • Eating chips in bed, while husband plays video games with friends
  • Me: (squeal of joy)
  • Me: "that's right ima dip you so good."
  • Me: (mouthful moan)
  • Husbands friend: the fuck is your wife doing?
  • Husband: (yells to me) babe what are you eating?
  • Me: (mouthful) chips and dip...
  • Me: (delightful groan) "you taste so good."
  • Husband: that's my wife (laughs)
  • Me: "you married this!" (Puts chip in mouth)
  • Husband: "fuck yeah I did."

anonymous asked:

does anyone know the song on camilas snapchat? it's something like drop top on the real, never ranch on the chips ice cream gives me chills ??😂😂 idk if the man sings that tbh but it sounds to me like that

I love how atm Doomfist is basically a fuckin cryptid like there are mentioned sightings but zero photos. Even the poster of him is all shadowy and mysterious (assuming the last one is current doomfist)

If they do make him playable I hope all his teasers are like shitty blurry photos with circles and completely insane life accounts from people who’ve seen him.

“Yeah bro I saw Doomfist yesterday the guy leveled my favorite restaurant and stole all the fuckin chips.”

I should just open a period store

It’ll sell pads, tampons, diva cups, assorted pain killers, sweat pants, comfortable underwear, XXXL t-shirts, fuzzy socks, heating pads, hot water bottles.. There will be a snack session, assorted sweet and salty treats, assorted flowers, stuffed animals, people can drop off coupons (Free ice cream cone anyone?) as donations.. There will be a lounge in the back of the store where you can chill and watch chick flicks and snack and bitch about your bitchiness, it’ll be great

angelic-leo  asked:

// *stares at chips/seagull post* I-I think they were talking about potato chips not French fries...

OK now hold up. 

to me… chips are these things: 

HOT chips are these: 

And Fries are these: 

Is that the same or is it different for you?? kjsdhfksdh

how fan girls/boys see Ink:

Ink is so precious and I absolutely adore how innocent he is #sopure

how Ink actually is:

I would sell you to satan for one- what was I saying.