oh jesus my brain did a thing and i regret my entire existence

it combined “not by the hair on my chinny chin chin” from the three little pigs and “forgive me father, for I have sinned”

now it’s “forgive me father, for i have sinny sin sinned” forever there’s no turning back

Piece of Cake

Warning: …cussin and waste of food, also unedited(raw draft)
a/n: oneshot drabble, jam fluff. Getting those writing juices flowin’
Summary: high school au/ hamilton
w/c: 3733

“Why the hell are we here?” Alexander groaned, he ran a hand down his tired face. He started to think back at the series of events that led him here. Where was here? Sitting at a long table for two in a Home Economics class. There were various cooking tools, bowls, a sink and small two burner stove top oven…and there was his partner. The bile began to rise up his throat and threatened to force a gag out of him. He glanced over at the purple bomber jacket wearing, big haired, facial hair on fleek idiot beside him. His partner sported a face of immense disinterest, his eyes on his phone as he scrolled with his thumb.

“Because you’re a fucking idiot who got us kicked out of Creative Writing.” Thomas responded with a hiss, he didn’t look up while he spoke to Alexander, he didn’t want to look at the face of the guy who placed him in this bullshit elective.

Honestly that was not how he remembered it going down at all. What he remembered was signing up for the Creative Writing class with his friends Aaron and Gilbert. His best friend John Laurens wasn’t a fan of writing and took on Aquatics as his elective. Alexander was more of an academic, though he tried his hand in sports. He was fairly good at wrestling but found it hard to maintain the proper weight/height ratio to stay in his class. He decided to follow Aaron in a more relaxed subject, one he knew he was well versed at as well. As for Gilbert…well he was in it because Mr. Washington was teaching the class.

Alexander only expected the best of the best to be there, Angelica Schuyler’s little sister Eliza was taking the class, as she did the year before. It was highly recommended after that. Alexander expected James Madison the kid who skipped two full grades to be there, he seemed to enjoy writing as well. What he didn’t expect was Thomas Jefferson to be there. Apparently he was some kid that moved away then moved back or some weird drama. He was popular when he left and even more so when rumors flooded in that he and Angelica were dating. 

Not. True.

He wasn’t a fan of someone who just waltzed into school like that. Alexander wasn’t popular…he tried and he was popular among his close friends. Most people found him annoying, the kid who got in trouble and still managed to get the grades. Kid who never shut up and pissed off nearly everyone. It took a certain kind of person to put up with him. “Maybe if you didn’t start talking shit I wouldn’t have thrown my book at you.” Alex growled back, remembering clearly that in the middle of his discussion, Thomas had clearly leaned over to Madison. He looked right at Alex and laughed right at him.

Thomas rolled his eyes, still not giving Alex the benefit of meeting his eye contact. “Please, you don’t even know I was talking about you and even if I was, someone who talks as much shit as you should be able to take it.” The dislike was mutual. Thomas was not a fan of popularity in the sense of having people flock him. He liked being admired from afar. Little knew but he was quite awkward around too many people, often leaning on the moral support of his friends like Madison. Alexander threw him off balance. He was boisterous and impossible to ignore, more importantly he brought out an ugly side to Thomas that no one had seen before.

“I can take the shit talking!” Alex yelled, earning a hush from their new elective teacher. Of course, it was bold face lie. Alexander could deal out some of the rudest, wittiest insults but the moment it was directed back at him he flew off the handle. In his mind, he had to have the last word, the last say, the last insult no matter what. He was in the middle of a great discussion when Thomas interrupted him. Sure throwing his book across the room and taking out Madison instead of Thomas was a bad idea. It would have been well worth it if he had hit Thomas instead. “No one told you to return fire…”

“You fucking socked James in the face with your book and gave him a nosebleed.”

“I said I was sorry.” Alex crossed his arms.

“After you complained about how your shot would have been perfect if it wasn’t for his, and I quote, ‘bulbous air brained head’” Alexander smirked to himself, it was a good time to use his word of the day. “Now thanks to you, James is stuck in the nurse’s office and the only other elective I get is Home Ec, stuck with you.”

The fight didn’t go over well with George. Who, as much as he loved Alexander as a student and a person, wanted him to learn a little restraint even when it came to those he had trouble tolerating. Alex felt personally attacked. He was Washington’s favorite, he was the cool new kid that everyone befriended. Then the ‘legend’ Thomas Jefferson, rich, snobby, basketball player comes back and everyone is up in arms. Angelica and Lafayette were apparently his friends first, George missed him since he coached the team. Even Aaron Burr spoke highly of Thomas. It was sickening. “Whatever lets just get this over with.”

The bell rang and Mrs.Adams began instruction they were to make a dish  that reminded them of home. The deep sentimentality made Alexander’s stomach churn. He had been through various foster homes, hopscotched around so many times the past was just a blur. That was another internal lie, he purposely tried to keep his past in the past. He looked over at Thomas. He was from the South or something, he remembered hearing that stupid twang in his voice. He probably wanted to make fried chicken or something. They were suppose to work together, other groups already started brainstorming while Thomas started taking out pots from the cabinet.

“What are you doing?” Alex watched as Thomas silently began to maneuver around him.

“I’m going to make my comfort food.” He answered, “Be a doll, and get me some cheese from the fridge.”

“This suppose to be a team thing, we didn’t discuss what we’re making.” Alex ignored his instructions. Thomas rolled his eyes and went to get the items himself. Fine,if that was how he was going to play it. Alexander went to the back and grabbed a large, clear, cylindrical container of ground up coffee.

He returned just as Thomas was filling up a pot with sink water. “What are You doing?”

“I’m going to make my comfort food.” Alexander echoed in a mocking voice, it was hard to mock Thomas’s voice. It was low and rumbly but not at all gritty. It was…smooth and low, like dark chocola–

“We can’t make two different foods, we can only turn in one.” Thomas glared as Alexander popped the container open and started measuring out a few cups of ground coffee. “Coffee isn’t even a fucking food, you dunderhead.” 

“Doll, now Dunderhead, what are you fifty?” Thomas was old fashion, his tastes were dated and so was were his insults apparently. “Hm, then I guess whoever finishes first gets to turn in our assignment.” Alex mused watching Thomas’s dark eyes narrow at him. They shared a silent moment, which was rare, nothing but glares and shallow breathing before they broke away and furiously went to cooking. Racing to be the other.

Thomas turned and dumped all of the pasta in the water before it was boiling. Alex went and started practically throwing cups of flour into the bowl with his coffee. A puff of flour rose from his bowl and dusted itself onto Thomas’s jacket sleeve. “Fucking watch it slob.” He tore off his jacket and revealed intensely toned biceps and a tight tshirt that hugged his wide chest. Alexander clenched his jaw unable to repress the small wave of shock. Thomas felt eyes on him and looked down. Alexander was glaring a hole into Thomas ‘s arm. “Take a picture, it lasts longer” He purred.

The shorter student felt a rage. The same violent rage he felt when he heard Thomas laugh at him. That stupid, soft, bell like laugh that was warm and light, completely contradicting what Hamilton assumed his laugh would sound like. With no book to throw and no time to waste, Alex eyed the open bag of flour that was between him and Jefferson. In midmix he elbowed the back and watched it flop over all over Thomas’s side of the table. “Whoops.” Alex smiled, the flour trickled off the side of the table down to Thomas’s fancy oxfords.

His southern attitude shined as he sucked his teeth and rolled his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Thomas kicked off some of the excess flour from his feet and looked over at Alex. He waited until he was measuring cups of milk and just as he began to Thomas nudged his arm causing him to spill out of the bowl and onto himself. “Whoops~”

“You, fuckin’” Alex turned and was met by a flour covered hand smearing the white dust all over his face.

“Good look for you, Hamilton, ever considered wearing makeup to cover up those baby hairs on your chinny-chin-chin?” Thomas smirked, insulting the only thing that kept the strangely rosy, baby faced Hamilton from looking overly feminine. Thomas went back to stirring the pasta now that the water was now in a rolling boil. Hamilton angrily wiped his face, getting only some of the flour off his skin. He looked down at the batter he was making and smirked.

“Thomas…” Alexander cooed, sickly sweet. Falsely sweet but it sent a strange sensation down Thomas’s spine. He turned his head cautiously and noticed Alexander was still covered in flour. Ha. He smirked but it started to fade when he tried to read Alex’s expression. It was soft, no smile, cheeks flared. He was slightly disarmed, long enough for Alex to lean forward. Thomas’s nervous and awkward tendencies started to shine as he backed up, slightly gawk like expression in his eyes. Hamilton, confident as always, got so close their chests bumped. And fast as a whip, Thomas’s well maintained facial hair was slapped by Alex. He felt a wet, goop on his face. “I think coffee cake batter is a good shade for you.”

Jefferson frantically shoved Alex aside, his bowl in his hand, as he hogged the sink. Alex lost control of his bowl and his batter went flying all over the floor. Thomas ran out water over his face. He made quick work of the cake mix before it made him break out.

A livid Alexander who’s “hard work” was now splattered on the ground walked over to the sink. He pressed his thumb against the faucet hole and the water pressure exploded as a stream of water aimed at Thomas’s wild, mane like hair. “You missed a spot”

Thomas shook his head, his curls now hung low heavy from being dampened. “So did you!” He grabbed Alexander by the collar and held him up a few inches off the ground.

“BOYS” Mrs. Adams glared at them. “I hope you two have your dish done in the next thirteen minutes…or else you will both not only be failed, it will be a trip to Principal King’s office!”

Keep reading

Reading The Three Little Pigs
  • Argumentative Boy: The book's ACTUALLY wrong. It says the wolf is going to blow the house in, but it really means OUT.
  • Me: Well, the wolf is exhaling. He's blowing out. But the house is going to collapse on itself.
  • Argumentative Boy: That's not possible! PHYSICS SAYS that the house would go like THIS (mimes sticks blowing away with his fingers).
  • Me: That's what happened..."in" rhymes with chinny chin chin, OK?
  • Argumentative Boy: OH I get it! He blew and the house is a pile of sticks.
  • Me: ...exactly.

anonymous asked:

We'll then, your parents think you have a mild case of depression. Your "friends" think you are "normal." Obviously they are correct, and whatever you are feeling is probably nothing more than a "stomach ache" or "normal anxiety" that every teenager experiences. So, yes of course you are correct. Don't you worry a little hair on that chinny chin chin. Everything will be alright. Just keep editing your fakeland blogs 24x7. Click your heels 3 times & repeat: there's no place like my bedroom.

oh my godddd shut the fuck up

you don’t know me!! you don’t know my life or how i feel!! everyone around me knows how far from normal i am!!

none of my mental health issues are mild trust me!! they ruin my life daily!! i literally cannot live or do the things i want to do because they’re so debilitating!! tell me again how that’s normal!!

you’re genuinely ignorant, rude & a shit person all round so good job. i hope you never have to deal with a mental illness & have some ignorant & cowardly person tell you this stuff

3:30 a.m. Wake Up Call

Just got back from a Disneyland trip (: I got my wristband that says ‘Mrs. Hamada’ on it! Hahahahaha I’m such a dork XP

I love baby!Hiro. I’ve wanted to do one of these for a while now, and I love this AU, so here you guys go! :)


You woke up to the sound of a small voice. You blinked your eyes several times before remembering where you were. You were in your boyfriend’s room, sleeping peacefully next to him, until the cries of his younger brother woke you up. Typically, Hiro’s voice woke up Tadashi, but you knew your lover had been working extremely hard the past week and was exhausted. You practically had to beg him to sleep.

You sat up carefully, not wanting to wake the man sleeping next to you. You fixed your sweatpants after they’d rolled up in your sleep. You stretched your arms up and gently tossed the covers back. You looked to your left and saw Hiro sitting by your bedside, tears in his eyes. You frowned down at him.

“Hiro, what’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream,” Hiro said sadly. You cooed and climbed out of bed. You picked Hiro up and his little hands grasped at the shirt you were wearing, which happened to belong to Tadashi. You carried him against your hip and carefully crept downstairs. Hiro sniffled and tucked his face into your chest.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream Hiro,” you comforted. You walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “How about some warm milk?” you asked sweetly. Hiro nodded hesitantly. You grabbed his bottle of milk and closed the fridge with Hiro still on your hip. You put the bottle of milk in the microwave and warmed it up. “What happened in your dream?” you asked gently.

“A big monster with big teeth and an ugly face tried to eat me. It ate you and Dashi first,” Hiro said quietly. You retrieved the bottle of milk from the microwave, making sure to stop the microwave before it beeped and woke up the rest of the Hamada family.

“Aw, baby, it’s okay,” you comforted. You sat down on the couch with Hiro in your lap now. “I promise no monster will ever hurt you or me or Dashi. Monsters aren’t real,” you said. He reached for the bottle in your hand. You moved the bottle to his lips as he reached for it hungrily. The suction cup slowly met his lips and he started sucking greedily. His little hands sat on top of your hand on the bottle. “Slow down, or you’ll get a stomach ache,” you said quietly with laughter. Hiro’s big brown eyes gazed up at you. You smiled down at the little baby in your arms. You glanced at the digital clock that sat on the table next to you. It read three thirty a.m. in bright red lights. You focused your attention back to the small child in your arms, trying not to think about how much sleep you were missing. “I have bad dreams too, you know,” you said, trying to calm him down. He stopped sucking on the bottle of milk and looked up at you.


“Yeah. Everyone has bad dreams, Hiro.”

“Even Dashi?” You laughed quietly.

“Yes, even Dashi,” you said. Hiro yawned. “How about we go back to bed?” you suggested. Hiro clung to your shirt tightly.

“No. I’m scared,” he replied. You set the milk bottle down on the table and shifted Hiro in your arms.

“Okay, I’m right here. It’s okay. No monster would ever hurt you,” you comforted and kissed his forehead. You moved Hiro back to your hip and grabbed the milk. You walked back into the kitchen and set the bottle back in the fridge. Hiro grasped tightly at the color of your shirt. He reached up and kissed your cheek. You looked at Hiro, who was now smiling.

“I love you, sissy,” he said quietly. You smiled and rubbed your nose gently against his.

“I love you too, Hiro.” You sat back down on the couch. Hiro was now awake and alert. You noticed a stack of books near the coffee table. They were mostly fairy tales and legends. You leaned against the arm of the couch and grabbed the one on top. “How about a story?” you asked the eager child in your lap. Hiro nodded and bounced gleefully.

“Yay, story!” You opened the picture book with Hiro in between you and the book.

“Once upon a time, there were three little pigs who all wanted to build houses. They wanted to stay safe from the big bad wolf.” Hiro pointed to the cartoon wolf.

“He’s a meanie,” Hiro said.

“You bet he is, buddy. The first little pig built his house of hay. It took almost no time at all.” You flipped the page. “The second little pig built his house of sticks. It also took him no time. The two little pigs saw the third little pig building his house out of bricks. They laughed at him and yelled 'we already finished our houses. Now we have time to play’,” you said in your best little pig voice. Hiro laughed gleefully. “When the third little pig finished, there was no time left to play. Each pig returned to his own house to eat dinner. Suddenly, the big bad wolf showed up! He knocked on the door of the straw house. The wolf said, 'little pig, little pig, let me in’,” you growled in a deep voice, making Hiro laugh even more. You smiled at the cheerful child. “The little pig replied, 'not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!’ So the wolf replied 'then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!’ And the wolf blew the straw house down!” you exclaimed. Hiro gasped, despite having heard the story before.

“The wolf went to the house made of sticks and knocked on the door. He yelled once again 'little pig, little pig, let me in!’ And the pig replied 'Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!’ The wolf said 'then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!’” Hiro snuggled against your chest. “And the wolf blew the house down! So the wolf went to the last house, the house made of bricks. He knocked on the door and said 'little pig, little pig, let me in’. But the third pig said 'not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.’ The wolf said 'then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down.’”

“No!” Hiro exclaimed.

“But as hard as the wolf blew, the house wouldn’t come down. The wolf soon gave up and the three little pigs cheered. And they all lived happily ever after,” you finished as Hiro yawned. He closed his eyes and cozied up to you. You kissed the top of his head and set the book down. “Goodnight, Hiro.”

“Goodnight, sissy,” he whispered quietly before falling into sleep. You smiled down at the child until your felt a warm blanket come around your shoulders. You looked up to see the smiling face of your boyfriend. He stole a quick kiss from your lips.

“Did I wake you?” you asked in a hushed tone. He shook his head.

“I woke up and you weren’t by my side. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Tadashi said quietly. He looked down at his little brother in your arms and his heart melted. You looked tired, but Tadashi thought you had never looked more adorable. “He loves you so much,” Tadashi said as he looked at Hiro. You looked down at the little human in your lap.

“I love him too.”

“We both do,” Tadashi said as he brushed Hiro’s hair back. He kissed your cheek. “You should’ve woken me up. I could’ve dealt with him; you need your sleep.”

“So do you,” you replied. “Besides, I’ve got it,” you said with a smile. “Don’t you want to be parents some day Tadashi?”

“Of course sweetheart,” he replied. “C'mon. Let’s go back to bed,” Tadashi said as he stood to his full height. You raised an eyebrow.

“Tadashi, he’s sleeping,” you said. Tadashi smirked.

“I know, so try not to squirm too much,” he replied. You were about to ask him what he meant when he hooked his arm under your legs and his other arm behind your back. He picked you up into his arms and carried you back up the stairs to his room. You cradled Hiro close to you and snuggled into Tadashi’s arms. He placed you down softly on his bed and climbed in next to you. He leaned against the pile of pillow on his bed and brought you against his chest. You leaned against your boyfriend and kept his brother safe in your arms. “I love you,” Tadashi muttered into your hair. You leaned up and gave him a long, loving kiss.

“I love you, too.”

“Forever and always?”

“Forever and always.”

Little comedian (Negan X Reader)

This is random…BUT I bought a Negan poster today and it’s beautiful and it made me want like a one shot… Shane Walsh had a sister who’s been with the Atlanta group since the beginning. She’s like Shane, hot headed and all, but she knows when to mind her own business - unlike her brother - and she’s at Alexandria when Negan arrives….um, I’m not really sure waht I want to happen but I DO KNOW I want her to say “not by the hairs on my chiny chin chin” after Negan did the “little pig let me in” thing…and this amuses Negan making him notice her once the gate is open.“ - @letsasoiaftogether


Sitting with Rick, you bartered as to whether you should keep your guns. You had all been anticipating the arrival of Negans group but the built tension and fear amongst the people had quite clearly startled the weaker ones. You were at the lineup. You witnessed what had happened. You were not particularly close with Glenn but it was still a shock to see the mess his brains had made on the floor. You should probably be more grateful towards him and Maggie, they’d helped you recover from the death of your brother after all he had done to them.

You missed Shane. Being his sister created an obvious spanner in the works of the group you were with as they always felt they were walking on thin ice with you due to your inherited hostility which mirrored his own. Rick and a few others had remained loyal to you after Shanes, admittedly inhumane, betrayal of the group. You would meet him sometimes to discuss the groups future and your part in it.

It pissed you off that Negan had this reputation other dictators had spent so long trying to build up. Shane would’ve been a better leader to this group, you knew, Rick was a step down from what he offered but was doing an alright job at the moment. You still mourned for him. You always knew you’d developed his best and worst features, the only difference was that you could take a joke.

“You know that, (Y/N) ! If we give out guns he will only take them easier,we need to sustain the armory we already have!” Rick pleaded to you, intensely staring through your eyes and peering into your thoughts. That was angering you too, the intensity of the situation bothered you, you knew that was how Rick kept his position of power, he dominated any who disobeyed him by threatening them emotionally instead of physically. You hated him in truth. You hated Alexandria.

“Rick that’s bullshit ! Are you just going to roll over and let Negan take what he wants ? That’s not being a leader Rick, that’s weakness” You spat back with a hateful glare.

“As opposed to what (y/n)? “ He matched, “ Make him kill another one of us and then we behave the same ? You should know death isnt an easy thing to play with”

You could see exactly why Shane had a problem with him. He was stupid, selfish. You knew better. 

“He can take mine from my dead body” You threatened, forcing the barrel of a pistol into your waist band. You hated this group and vowed to leave. They were too reliant on peoples good wills and look at where that had gotten them, to sit like dogs at the demands of a bully. You’d have none of it. You would leave by the morning and take whatever the saviours didn’t.

Huffing to yourself in disbelief you turned for the door. You planned to go back to your apartment and drink. Drink and prepare, or drink until you didn’t care to prepare anymore. Slamming the door behind you, you cursed under your breath at the coldness of the air, it was midday it should not be this cold.

The noise of trucks from down the road, the grating of gravel under the tires, they were here to make their demands. Perhaps you’d meet the man himself again. Strolling over closer to the gate, you observed the pathetic rousing of people from their regular duties. They were, to you, pathetic, trying to find a routine to fall back to after the world had fucking ended.

The vans and trucks and cars had reached the gate now and people were too timid to step forward to help them open the gate. Tea leafs, you thought. What a bunch of pussies. 

“Dun Dun Duhhhhh” Came the loud and low grumble from outside the gates. It was him, you could tell by the exaggerated dramatic voice and also the telling silhouette of Lucille. You grinned a little at his immediate power and authority over all of Alexandria.

“Little pig, Little pig, let me come in” He continued, the atmosphere around you fell thick with anticipation as you reeled open the fabric covering gate to reveal him as you grinned like you had seen a friend you had missed for an extensive time. 

“Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin” You finished, sliding open the last gate for his glorified entrance.

He laughed at this, “Simon ! You hear that shit ? We got a damn comedian on our hands, holy fuck, what a set of balls. Whats your name sweetheart?” He spoke with such a confidence and sophistication for a brutal leader you almost swooned. Maybe he was just your type.

“(Y/N)” You spoke confident and slowly, proving you were not afraid of him , although your legs betrayed you and shook a little on their own accord. “ Your place is up that road, right ? You going my way?”

This was your chance. 

“Damn eager too. I like that. You’re in, Sweetheart. We need more fucking balls.” He smirked, leaning in close to you as his hand ghosted down the front of your jacket to your waist band. He dipped his fingers below slightly, Creating an incredible fluster across your face. He gripped the gun and pulled it free into his palm with a snort. “ I fucking love balls”

Originally posted by lmnegan

my cat is OKAY! He has kidney stones, which as far as I can tell are not very serious. He’s on prescription food and is very undignified at having his chinny chin chin shaved for blood tests.

IN OTHER NEWS I GOT A JOB OFFER! :D more details forthcoming.