chinese kale

Anyone in melbourne want a pet rabbit?

His name is Kouji. He’s a housetrained, vaccinated, fixed, lovable ball of fluff who needs a home that will love him back. I’ll be moving to Queensland where they don’t allow rabbits as pets. He’s a house bunny, and he loves nothing more than falling asleep on my lap while I write or play videogames. If I lie down in his pen with him, he’ll come over and lick my face before flopping down with me. He loves the occasional trip to the backyard. His favourite foods are dandelions, kale, chinese broccoli, apples, strawberries, and bamboo.

He comes with: a rug for him to run around on (so he doesn’t damage your floor), a split-level cage, litterbox, metal fence (to set up the boundaries of His Space), carrier cage, food bowl, water bottle, leash and harness, brush, nail clippers, towel, food container, kitty litter, bag of hay, and a huge box of spare newspapers and plastic bags (for daily littlebox changes).

I love this guy, and he’s been with me for over 6 years. He still has a lot of life and love left in him, so I don’t want to abandon him to a shelter or have him put down by the government. He’s quiet, clean, soft, cuddly, and I am going to miss him terribly.

Please help if you can! Contact me ASAP, I need to find a home for him in the next 2 weeks!

Sex-Ed with Little 'Uns
  • 12-year-old boy: What's a period like?
  • Me: Do you know what Chinese burns are?
  • 12-year-old boy: Yes.
  • Me: Do you know how much they hurt?
  • 12-year-old boy: Yes.
  • Me: And do you know who Hercules is?
  • 12-year-old boy: Zeus's son?
  • Me: Yeah. Him. The strongest man in the universe. Now, imagine Hercules giving you a Chinese burn.
  • Me: In your stomach.
  • Me: While you're trying to pretend it's not happening.
  • Me: And you have to pretend you think he's awesome and beautiful.
  • Me: Because everyone keeps telling you he's awesome and beautiful.
  • Me: But there's just blood everywhere.
  • Me: And it's apparently natural.
  • Me: But it's fucking Hercules giving you a Chinese burn, unnatural.
  • Me: And all you want is chocolate and deep fried doughnuts.
  • Me: But someone gives you kale.
  • Me: Which is just expensive spinach.
  • Me: And you're not fucking Popeye.
  • Me: And that's your defence when the judge asks you why you snapped the Hipster's neck.