“If you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women. For X please insert words like ‘anger,’ ‘ambition,’ ‘loudness,’ ‘stubbornness,’ ‘coldness,’ ‘ruthlessness.’”
—Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
We teach girls shame. “Close your legs. Cover yourself.” We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up — and this is the worst thing we do to girls — they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes
Why is it so hard for some trans women to hear “you know, there are some MAJOR women’s issues that don’t affect you purely because of the body you were born with, and you should stop trying to talk over us just because it’s not relevant to you”.
Girls don’t get denied access to education, forced into marriages, have their major organ of sexual pleasure removed, get denied reproductive control and forced to birth children they don’t want because of their gender identity or presentation. It’s because of their SEX.
Sometimes cis women have issues you don’t have, same as you have issues we don’t have! Maybe try listening to us instead of speaking over us and telling us to shut up when it’s not about you, because tbh that’s some downright manlike entitlement and misogyny.