chilling on the patio

We went to the barcade last night and went outside to smoke. My boyfriend went back inside to use the bathroom so I’m just chilling on the patio and these two guys come outside, see me standing alone, and come stand right next to me. One goes to the other, kinda loud, “do you have any resolutions?!” And the second guy yells back “TO LOVE MORE…!”
They’re obviously running a pick up play here.
So they ask my for a light and ask me if I have any resolutions and I swear to you I should have been in a movie scene: I leaned against the patio wall, took a long drag and breathed out, and looked the one that asked dead in the eye and said “get swole and beat up nazis.”

When I was growing up we had a pet pig. And when I say pet pig I don’t mean a micropig or any of that shit, I’m talking a fucking gigantic commercial pig. It was a gag gift one of my toddler friends got for her birthday and her mom was a tightass so she was going to abandon the pig and my mom decided to just take the pig. So it lived in our bathroom and then it lived in a pin in our back yard. It thought it was a dog. It tucked itself under a blanket at night when mom forgot to. It knew how to open doors. His name was Oreo and he really liked eating acorns.

So all my toddler photos are me in a cute little dress petting this fucking huge black and white pig, there at pictures of the pig playing with our dogs. He would chill on the patio when mom worked in the garden. He was a member of the family. It’s so hilarious.

I love my little house and my patio in this lush green back yard that was just barely green at all yesterday. I feel like I ought to be jumping up to do some planting or mowing or tidying or something, but it’s been a week already, and I’m just so weary. After school/work today, I took Lila summer clothes shopping, and the fluorescent lights pretty much did me in. 

Some bright spots in this day:
– a glass of chilled white wine with fresh berries on the patio with The Baker after work and before we had to go on with our respective parental stuffs.

– kickass prep shift where I really tested my mettle even more than usual.

– no tears from the pre-teen during our shopping excursion.

– Dogwood and an as-of-yet unidentified pink blossoming tree are in glorious bloom in my side yard. Redbud? Cherry? Too lazy to look it up. It’s an old tree and only half of it is in bloom. 

– realizing again that I am stronger now than I have ever been in my life, on every level. 

– a sustained embrace is a wonderful thing. 

Throwback Summer: chilling in the patio with Boris…

Wearing MTM double breasted seersucker suit by Gentleman Tailors, Emmett London tab collar shirt, Buttero suede loafers, Borsalino fedora, club tie, and vintage pocket square.