So her strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave her a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.
Summary: You’re a former mercenary turned Avenger who joins the team after fighting, and defeating, each member that tried to recruit you. You’re confident in your abilities and even challenge the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier. A battle of egos ensues and it’s Bucky that fights to get your attention but you’re a professional and won’t fall easy for his charm.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 3241 Warnings: None A/N: Alrighty so I decided to split this in two parts cause damn, I’m such a wordy mess!! I hope you like it, let me know! Posting the second half tomorrow. ❤
“How the hell does
she keep getting away?!” Tony shouted at no one in particular as he paced the floor. He
didn’t like getting bested by anyone but he really didn’t like
that the whole team had their asses handed to them.
professional, Tony,” Steve said, putting two more ice packs on his
knees and wincing slightly.
Tony stopped walking
and looked bewildered at the blonde man. “Yeah? And what the hell
are we? We’ve only saved the planet a handful of times but we can’t
take down some nimble little assassin?!” His angry words echoed
throughout the cavernous lounge of the Avengers compound.
(Y/N) couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a new
person since she’d arrived in Miss Peregrine’s loop, she’d grown used to the
routine, and Jacob’s arrival was a big deal for her, in a good way. The girl
was grateful to see a new face among her friends.
As soon as she saw him, she felt tempted to start a
friendship with him, and that was exactly what she did, spending the rest of
the afternoon with him and Emma, even if the girl had to have gone to help
someone with something, leaving Jacob and (Y/N) walking in the garden while
they talked. The girl didn’t think that much could come of it, at least until
she got into her boyfriend’s room, Enoch.
It wasn’t hard to realize that something was wrong, from the
moment she stepped on her feet she noticed that he seemed to be ignoring her
presence there, making the girl frown. He was sitting on his bed, staring at
the floor, as if it was a super interesting thing. What was that about?
“Hey.” she said, slowly approaching him. Enoch slowly lifted
his head toward her, pretending to realize only now she had entered the room.
“Oh (Y/N), to what do I owe the honour of your
visit?” he asked, his voice revealing the obvious anger he felt at the
moment. “Wouldn’t you rather be snogging that Jacob kid?”
(Y/N) snuggled her head against the pillow when she felt
herself start to Wake up, slowly opening her eyes, seeing herself in bed. The
girl frowned before finally yawning, finally sitting down. She managed to get a
better view of the room, seeing Enoch sitting at his desk while doing something
on his dolls, without looking up at the girl. (Y/N) cleared her throat loudly
to try to catch his attention, which didn’t seem to have worked, since he didn’t
react at all.
“Good Morning.” she said, trying to get his attention once
“Morning” he murmured, still looking closely at
what he was doing.
(Y/N) watched him for another few seconds, waiting for him
to stop to talk to her, which didn’t happen, making her feel frustrated. She
glanced quickly across the floor of the room.
“Where are they?” she asked, searching the covers.
“I don’t know.” he shrugged. “They’re yours, aren’t
(Y/N) grimaced, but she didn’t have much time to feel
affected by the boy’s words since she was already looking for her clothes again,
which she found under the bed. The girl dressed them quickly, returning to sit
on the bed and looking at Enoch, hoping he would show a little interest in her.
(Y/N) stood up, walking slowly around the room. “I think I’ll
be going.” Enoch had responded with a murmur of agreement, making her growl
low, feeling her heart ache lightly and walking toward the door, stopping when
she reached it and turning to the boy when he spoke again.
“The others are going to go out for that walk in the
afternoon, wouldn’t you like to pay me a visit during this?” he hadn’t
even looked up at her.
“Are you kidding me?” her voice rose, and (Y/N) was
almost sure it was the loudly she had ever spoken in Enoch’s presence ever
since they met. That finally seemed to have caught his attention. “I
really tried, Enoch. I like you and you know it.” she moved closer to his desk,
leaning toward him. "And it’s not cool the way you’ve been playing with
me. Sweet at night and an asshole in the morning. Either you start to treat me
the right way or I’m going to get out of that door and never come back!”
The boy stared at her for a few more seconds, opening his
mouth slightly, seeming to decide carefully what his next words would be. “Close
the door when you leave.” he said, looking back at his doll.
(Y/N) stared at him for a few seconds, not sure how to
react. He had just rejected her in her face. She had thought that if she called
his attention to this issue, he would make an effort to fix things up. It seemed
she was wrong.
The words continued to haunt her for the rest of the morning
while she was outside, leaning against a tree, watching the other children have
fun together. What the hell was that boy’s problem? Images from the night
before began to go through her head.
How much Enoch had made sure to be kind to her. How his
hands alternated between holding firmly around her hips and stroking them when
he knew he was being too rough. His lips kissing her all over lovingly, making
her feel beautiful, loved. How Enoch seemed to care as much about her pleasure
as his. Or his husky voice moaning her name as he neared his climax. How he had
held her close to him after they had finished, a rare little smile on his lips.
So why couldn’t he continue the same way the next morning?
Why did he seem to care about her in one moment and not anymore right after?
(Y/N) frowned, her eyes unconsciously searching for the
boy’s window. Enoch stood there, looking directly at her. His expression showed
discomfort and indecision. His eyes lowered before he looked at her one last
time and close the curtain.
The girl sighed, leaning more against the tree, watching
Hugh and Millard as they played ball, complaining to each other that they were
cheating. Suddenly, a movement near the door of the house caught her attention.
Enoch was going outside, which wasn’t exactly usual for him. (Y/N) looked away,
watching the other two boys playing, pretending not to notice the O'Connor boy
heading toward her. But that made it difficult when he sat next to her.
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, the two sitting
side by side in a silence that was, in a way, comforting. (Y/N) felt Enoch’s
finger brushing against hers, sending chills all over her body. He slowly and
gently took her hand in his, awkwardly entwining their fingers.
"I didn’t mean-” he started, making her turn her head
to him. “I’m not good at it-“ the boy seemed to be struggling with his
words. "I’m sorry, I-” Enoch took a deep breath, looking directly at
her. “I like you, (Y/N). I really do.” an involuntary smile appeared on
her face. "I’m just not used to it yet.”
(Y/N) nodded slightly at him, squeezing his hand.
"You’ll try to be nicer, won’t you?”
Enoch gave her a little smile, nodding. “If you allow me.”
Her smile widened, giving the answer the boy needed. He
moved his hand away from hers, hesitantly wrapping his arm around her waist,
pulling her closer to him. (Y/N) leaned her head on Enoch’s shoulder.
“Oh, would you look at that.” Hugh’s voice was heard, making
the couple notice that they were being watched by him and Millard.
“Get out of here, will you?” Enoch murmured
against her hair.
“Just don’t snog in public, please.” Millard
warned before he and Hugh left to continue playing, and though he couldn’t be
seen, it was clear that he had a smirk on his face.
As if only for the boy to have said it and for Enoch’s need
to not to follow what the invisible boy said, Enoch lifted (Y/N)’s chin gently,
pressing his lips against hers several times, in passionate kisses, he pressing
his forehead against hers. “So you’re going to stay here while the others
are on the walk?”
In the hospital Jerome actually gets kinda nervous the first time you fall asleep after birth. When he sees you eyes close he immediately panics and feels your pulse. He also strokes your hair a lot, gives you head kisses, pet the top of both your hands, kisses your knuckles, strokes your cheeks, and kisses your nose a lot. He is in awe to see you be happy after birth. He’s even happier to see you and the baby together and smiling.
The baby looks just like Jerome. Like I mean exact. When you see them together for the first time its like Jerome is looking in a mirror. Its so cute, it gives you enough energy to take a picture on your phone. He also born with a head of red hair. Soft red hair, its so hard to keep the little hat on because its fun to touch and feel. When the hat goes on you just sit and stroke Jerome’s hair because it feels similar.
C= Care Taking
When you bring the baby home Jerome mostly takes care of him. He literally is so good with your son in every single way. Jerome’s big smile makes the baby stop crying completely. When he changes the baby’s diaper he can do it well and very fast. Lastly, the baby loves when Jerome feeds him baby food because Jerome tries it first and spits it out. Then he swears and washes it out of his mouth. The baby laughs and Jerome sticks the food in his little mouth.
On the day of the delivery Jerome acts crazier than he ever has around you. He laughs at everything, he tells the doctors how they are “fucking stupid cogs”, he takes tools off the tray and throw them into the wall, lastly he almost killed one of the nurses who kept telling you to breath. It made him mad because your were breathing hard and this lady wouldn’t shut up. When you went into delivery Jerome got serious and whispered things into your ear and gave you kisses until the pain was over.
During the pregnancy there weren’t many emergencies. The only major one was when you started feeling horrible pains in your stomach. You woke Jerome up and he kissed your stomach, paced around the room, and sweared his head off. Afterward he held you really close and talked to the baby about calming down. Then he calmed you down.
F= First Time Seeing the Baby
When Jerome first saw the baby he laughed like it was a joke. Until the baby was in his arms, then a single tear fell from his face. He fell in love with the kid. Never feeling any family love (mom, dad, sibling, etc.) he realized how much he really wanted a family. When you first saw the baby it was an instant connection like a usual mother. Although you were quite nervous about how Jerome felt.
G= Gender (s)
Its a little boy (the first kid anyhow).
H= Hair Color
Red and Orange just like his papa
You don’t get sick as much as usual pregnant women. You mostly only get sick when you eat sour food. But, surprisingly enough the blood Jerome brings around the house. And trust me he gets it everywhere. Even on you, when he comes home he will sometimes forget about what he did. So, when you wake up its everywhere on your clothes.
Jerome makes you jump more when your pregnant unless your on stairs. He likes to scare you because your more vulnerable and emotional when your pregnant. If it makes you cry he’ll apologize and hold you (if you let him). Towards the end of the pregnancy he stops scaring you because he’s afraid the baby may just come out.
K= Keeping the Baby?
There actually was a conversation about it. Jerome actually wanted to keep the child. He said it was because he “wanted a legacy”. But, in reality he wanted a family to love. You wanted the baby but, Jerome’s killing people worried you. That Karma might come for Jerome. At the end of the night you both kept the baby.
There is always love to go around your little family. For an example. When you first brought the baby home Jerome actually got scared that the baby would die because of something little. So, around 2:00 AM in the morning Jerome went into the babies room and brought him into your bedroom. When he came in you were awake because you knew Jerome got up. he brought the baby over to the bed and laid down. There Jerome laid the small baby boy on his chest and you both talked to him and touched him.
When you were pregnant the baby moved around all the time. Jerome put his head on your stomach a lot, put his hands on your stomach, and kissed your stomach. When Jerome wasn’t around you talked to the baby about him. Like the stuff he did or the stuff he did in he circus.
Jack Taylor Valeska
O= On Time
The baby actually came a bit early. The due date was August 21st but ended out being August 16th.
There was actually more pain in before he was born. At home you would have some random pain more. The pains at the hospital were more expected. The ones before at home were not.
Youdidn’t reallyhave any. Yourmothermostlytaughtyouabouteverything. Heaskedhimselfonequestionmorethantherest.Thisquestionwas “Will the baby love me?” Andofcoursethebabyloveshim.
Jerome constantly makes you rest before and after you give birth. If he sees you do anything with too much standing or movement he goes “nope”. Then he carries you to the couch or bed. He makes you stay there for the rest of the day/night.
S= Singing to the Baby
Jerome sing the big top song to the baby before and after he’s born.You sing any song that comes into your head. When you do that you try not to say the swear words.
T= Talking to the Baby
Jerome is the more constant one. He feels like the baby really wants to hear his voice constantly. You usually tell him that the baby loves his voice and loves him. Which makes him talk even more. You love to pet his hair when he talks to the baby. Even if its not always sweet.
U= Underneath the Man/Womans Heart
Underneath Jerome’s wonderful ego he wants a family to love him. He also wants to love a family for once. He wants a family that he won’t resent and want to kill. He just wants to be truly happy with the people that he really love.
V= Vision as in Supervision
Jerome probably watches over both of you a lot. He doesn’t want the only things he loves to be destroyed. That would literally make him kill all of Gotham City. He tries to make the three of you stay close when he comes home. You send him pictures of the both of you constantly to reassure him that your okay.
W= When the Baby is Born
Both of you end up completely in love with barely any problems at first. Jerome feels an amazing sensation with the three of you together. It makes him overjoyed. His heart feels every emotion and touch.
X= Xray or Ultrasound
You didn’t really go to regular appointments. Although you did have one ultrasound picture. It was from when you first figured out you were pregnant. That’s how you told Jerome. You folded the picture and put it in his old police hat. Then you walked into the room and put it on his head. You then started making breakfast. Eventually Jerome figured out and started laughing insanely. Eventually you told him it wasn’t a joke. He told you that he knew but, he was just really really happy.
The first time the baby yawned Jerome was holding him. You were all three falling asleep in you and Jerome’s bed. He was stroking the babies back and he yawned quietly and then snuggled his head into Jerome’s big hand.
Usually the baby falls fast asleep quickly. He stays asleep almost all night. Which worries Jerome a lot because your mom told stories about you crying at night. So, Jerome usually goes into the babies room and feels his pulse. Once he knows the baby is okay Jerome crawls back into bed with you.
Claire sat in the wide bench at the hospital’s
locker room, her ears filled with a high bleeping sound, the voices around her
as distant and foreign as creatures of the bottom of the deepest ocean. Her
eyes were fixed on her silver ring – the flesh underneath it raw and reddened
after hours of nervously twisting it on her finger, akin to a prisoner fighting
a shackle turned life raft.
“What happened to you?” A shadow extended next
to her and she blankly stared above, watching as one of her colleagues, Joe
Abernathy, frowned as he looked at her.
“Nothing.” She croaked, her tongue feeling
ridiculously dry and furred after hours of screams and sobs in the seclusion of
her apartment, followed by a prolonged silence.
“Hmpf.” He vocalized in a doubtful tone. “Ye
look more like everything happened,
than nothing. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee, Fraser? Or a bucket?”
“Don’t call me that!” She hissed, tears
stinging her eyes – Claire tried to keep them forcefully opened, to avoid
overflowing. “Claire. Just Claire.”
“Alright.” He said more softly, sitting next to
her. His dark skin deeply contrasted with her own, made even more marble white
than usual by fatigue and heartbreak.
wasn’t exactly a friend – but he was one of the few colleagues who had shown
her compassion and camaraderie, never taking a chance to shine that implied to
throw another resident under the proverbial bus. He was always nice and they
exchanged pleasantries every time the occasion called for words between them –
but Claire had been too busy daydreaming about Jamie for the past few months,
to really dedicate herself to the task of establishing a fulfilling friendship.
I don’t want you anymore. Claire
mechanically pressed the ring against her raw finger, welcoming the pain that
kept her grounded to the present.
“You know what?” Joe slapped his big hands
against his knees, covered with blue scrubs. “I think I have just the thing you
need. A nasty Whipple procedure in OR two in twenty minutes. What do you say?”
“I can’t take your surgery, Joe. You earned
that with your hard work assisting Doctor Raymond on that hemorrhoidectomy.”
Claire shook her head, crumpling her surgical cap.
“You need to cut, Lady Jane.” He smiled with
kindness. “People can say whatever they want, but I know a surgeon when I see
one – and you’re it. Once you have the blade in your hand, you’ll be able to
forget – or at least to push to the outskirts of your mind – whatever is bothering
you so much. On the off-chance that
doesn’t work, you can always pretend you’re cutting the face of whoever hurt
Claire breathed deeply – the smell of deodorant
and foot powder a soothing presence, reassuring her that some things were still
the same. She had come to the hospital almost in the middle of the night for it
– trying to leave the wreckage of her life behind the closed door of her apartment
- only to discover that the destruction had found a cranny whereby it could
enter her body, taking hold of her like a parasite with an innocent host.
If only she could shed her entire body with its
memories, like a blessed snake, perhaps she could morph into something else.
Freedom. Forgetfulness. Painless
breathing again. But she was only allowed blue scrubs, with matching cap and
mask – they would have to serve that purpose.
“If you’re sure.” She said hesitantly. “I’ll
try not to disturb you too much.”
“Nonsense.” He clapped, ecstatic. You’ll do
just fine. Don’t overthink it.”
“Alright.” Claire raised from the bench to tie
her black sneakers. Make a loop. Tie it
harder. Breathe. As she prepared to walk beside him, she wrinkled her nose
in confusion in his direction. “Who
the hell is Lady Jane?”
Edinburgh, Present day
“You’re awake.” Claire greeted, entering his
room and seeing him half-sited, reclined against a pile of pillows, doing
exercises with his hand. “It’s late, but I was quite busy today – a couple of
patients from the fire needed to be re-interventioned for some complications.”
“That’s alright.” Jamie gave her a shy smile.
“I dinna expect ye to come at all, so it’s a nice surprise.”
“I hear they are offering you a medal for your
brave conduct while on duty.” She said in an attempt of conversational tone,
sitting on a chair by his bed. “Just saw two grown men sobbing their eyes out
while coming here, talking about how Chief Fraser is a goddam hero and saved
“Well,” He replied, slightly shrugging his
shoulders in a blatant sign of discomfort. “I don’t feel like a hero. More like
“Hm.” She snorted in outspoken agreement.
“Can’t really challenge that. How is your hand?”
“Rigid. Tender.” Jamie grimaced, showing her
the bandaged hand with just the tip of the fingers visible. “But hopefully, in
time, I’ll be able to wipe my own arse with it.”
The corners of her mouth almost formed a smile,
but she hurriedly commanded them to stop. Almost.
He used to make her smile all the time, effortlessly - and it seemed like
the wheels and screws of her body still remembered that easy mechanism.
“Claire…” He started in a pleading tone.
“Why do you still wear your wedding ring,
Jamie?” Claire anticipated in a low voice. “We have been divorced for almost
ten years – and you took away its
meaning even before that.”
“Don’t ye know?” He replied in a soft tone, as
his fingers dutifully played with the small exercise rubber ball.
“How would I
know?” She said, anger bringing an edge to her words. “You told me you didn’t want me anymore. That you had someone else
you wanted to be with – I expected to find you remarried with a proper Scottish
wife, a handful of children around your bed. And yet there’s no wife around to
fluff your pillows and put jelly in the mouth of her valiant husband.”
He tilted his head, as if he was embarrassed by
her words. “I had my reasons to say that.”
“Let’s hear them, then.” She crossed her arms
and looked impatiently at him. “I believe you owe me at least the curtsy of the
Jamie nodded and for a moment his eyes seemed
lost in contemplation of something invisible, pages of their story turning
backwards until he could find the appropriate chapter and the words to tell it.
When he talked again, his voice was quick and low, slightly ragged.
“Ye were failing.” He looked at her as if
urging her to understand. “Ye told me that yourself. Everything ye had worked
so hard to accomplish was turning into smoke.” Jamie clenched his jaw. “I knew
it was because of me – my fault. When
ye met me, I changed the course of yer life. Ye were torn – distracted. I had
to do something.”
“What?” Claire whispered, the world slightly
tilting around her like a bizarre attraction in an amusement park. “Tell me,
Jamie – What did you do?”
“How does a man wilfully rip his heart out of
his chest? What madness can drive ye to do such a thing?” He whispered, as if
to himself, before he glanced at her. “Not madness – love. I found I could do it, as long as I knew ye safe and well.”
“I don’t understand.” She babbled - but
realization was slowly dawning on her, brutal and consuming as wildfire,
leaving her shaking like a burnt leaf on the wind.
“I already knew what I needed to do.” Jamie
nodded, immersed on his tale – finally able to share his terrible truth, a numbing
dart to the poisonous beast that sat on his chest. “I made the decision the
night we spoke on the phone – promised to myself I’d do it when I went to visit
ye. But I couldn’t!” He closed his healthy hand on a fist, his body trembling
from strong emotion. “I was weak. I couldna stop myself from loving ye again
and again – knowing I couldna lie to yer body; swearing every time I touched ye
would be the last. One last day of happiness – one last memory I could hold on
Claire was openly crying by then, tears
silently falling across her cheeks, witnesses of two broken hearts bleeding
together into the world.
“I went to see Doctor Raymond one afternoon.”
Jamie gulped. “I was hoping there might be another way. But he confirmed what I
already knew – he told me ye were a natural healer, a potential brilliant
surgeon, if ye were allowed to focus solely on that. He promised he would take
care of you.” He finished softly.
“You told me you didn’t want me!” Claire
repeated, lips quivering, her amber eyes open in shock.
“I thought I’d die from saying it. But
ultimately I would say that and much worse, Claire.” He affirmed, his blue eyes
moist but defiant. “I would deny God himself and Jesus on the cross for yer
sake. I would disown my own heart and lungs. There’s no limit for what I’d do
for ye to have peace, mo nighean donn.”
“It was not your choice to make!” She sobbed,
slightly rocking herself on the chair. “My
life, James Fraser. My fucking life. Our
“Aye.” He rubbed his eyes with the back of his
hand. “It is that. But I canna say I regret it, Claire. Joe told me how many
people you saved just today – how every young surgeon looks up to you now. It
seems to me I made the right choice.”
“You don’t know a thing…” Claire hissed. “About
what I went through. I barely made it…I was barely sane.” Her voice sounded
like a woman drowning even to her own ears. “You wouldn’t even see me to sign
the divorce papers, you sent Ned Gowan in your place…”
“I never said I wasna a coward.” Jamie
admitted, slightly tilting his head. “I dinna trust myself not to fall on my
knees and beg yer forgiveness. To tell ye right there and then of my wicked
ways. To kiss ye and never let go. I hoped…” His voice broke. “You’d never have
to see me again.”
“I thought you were in love with someone else.”
Claire sobbed, closing her eyes to block the sight of his face, grimacing in
pain. “I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing you laying with a faceless
woman, whom you’d say everything you once said to me. Listening all your
promises turning into lies.”
“There was never another woman.” He whispered,
tears falling down his lashes. “There could never be another woman, Claire. I
still wore yer wedding ring because – papers or no – I will forever be married
to ye. I will always love ye, mo
“I could never forgive you for this…” Claire
entwined her hands, like a silent prayer for the ability to retrieve what had
been lost between them. “You took away my choice. You traded our love for
something I never wanted. You decided for us both.”
“Aye.” He swallowed hard – his voice hoarse and
broken beyond repair. “But can ye honestly say I was wrong in thinking that
this is the woman ye were meant to become? That by letting ye go I wasna in
fact loving ye more than I ever could be keeping ye?” Jamie closed his eyes,
whispering. “Mine are the sins of a lover. Ye were given to me, Claire – and I
loved ye well.”
- I don’t know if i mentioned this before but he’d be s o s o s o s o nervous about you two because he really likes you and he doesn’t wanna fuck up
- Him literally saying he loves you 5,000 times a day ?? like literally.
- “Hey Jacob wanted to-” “Absolutely not sorry.”
- Him picking out which dress you should wear on the off occasion you actually wear one
- I feel like the way he’d hold your hand is really odd ? Like not the normal kinda side hand but the full on lacing your fingers together? Kinda like this ??:
- Also the way you’d cuddle would actually be the cutest thing ever. Like you’d face each other, you two would probably giggle and talk about random things. Like even though he’s usually really cruel to everyone, he’s really sweet when it comes to you, especially when you two cuddle:
- He’d randomly sneak up behind you and hug you at different times during the day:
- You two would read together a lot. Like it seems really stupid but it’s not a huge activity but it still somehow makes you feel closer together.
- You once suggested how you thought he’d look cute in a bow tie so he got Olive and Claire and or Miss Peregrine (those cute lil baby fashion designers, bless them) to make one for him to wear to impress you.
- “If you look at my girlfriend I’ll kill you.”
“If you think about my girlfriend in a provocative way I’ll kill you.”
“If you d a r e lay a finger on my girlfriend I’ll kill you, bring you to life again and kill you again.”
- I feel like his nickname for you would be either princess or sweetheart (baby girl ??)
- He’d hate arguing so much like that shit tears him apart man