I hear “it’s just a phase” a lot. I’m panromantic asexual, and almost everyone I meet feels the need to weigh in on my romantic and sexual orientation, ready to tell me all the ways in which I am not valid.
My number one answer, every time, is “so what.”
SO. FUCKING. WHAT.
All I see is people rushing to assure people that it’s not just a phase, but even if it was, that doesn’t make it any less valid. People are fluid. Orientations are fluid. When I was 15, I preferred dating boys to dating girls. Now, at 23, I prefer to date girls. When I’m 35, I may find myself, however improbably, actually wanting to have sex.
None of that makes what I am going through right now- who I am right now- any less valid.
Do you know what else is a phase? Childhood. I don’t hear anyone telling their eight year old that they aren’t actually eight because by this time next year, they will be nine. That would be ridiculous.
In five years, they’ll be about to start high school. That doesn’t mean I’ll be making that child read Catcher in the Rye and doing calculus.
When I was 8, I was going to going to be the first female president. At 10, I ate nothing but pasta. When I was 12, I thought Naruto was the coolest thing ever. These were all phases, all ones that I grew out of, and no one ever told me that, because those things wouldn’t be true in another six months, they weren’t real.
The present is what matters. What you feel now is what matters. Who knows what you’ll feel tomorrow. It’s no one’s fucking business.
Go through your phases. Feel free to change. You grow. You learn. You adapt.
You’ve always had a special friend. Some call him imaginary, others think that it is merely a childhood phase that will be grown out of. Whatever it is you know it’s different and your special friend is there. Even your earliest memories he’s been there, he says very little and sometimes you can see through him. But over the years he’s your companion, he keeps you safe, walks with you, sits with you and he’s even there when you leave for university. Slowly over the years your fondness has turned to something far more, but you keep it to yourself. Your dorms are built into an old house, a large house that had been in ruins until bought and used for the school. You love the house, every detail of it, the hiding places and the old elevator that scales the three stories of the house. It is by accident that you come across the book, researching for a project you find a heavy leather bound book and inside a photo. You know the man, the one who sits with a woman having tea. It is the sane man that has been with you your whole life. You read the book and find the house you reside in had once had a horrific past…your friend had been involved in its past and yet you can’t help but feel there is something tragic about it, sadness. That night as you return to your room you find him stood looking out of your window, a sadness to him. He knows you’ve finally learned who he is, what he is…what he was. You walk towards him and he watches, waiting, braced for the words that are to come and surely banish him from your side, send him away. Yet your anger does not come. Glimmering eyes filled with crystal clear tears as you lift your hand and cup his cheek, you watch as his eyes slowly close and he leans into your hand, he has craved for the touch of another for so, so long. Followed you when he suddenly found himself beside you as a baby and yet despite his state over the years his fondness grew just as yours did. He is neither solid nor fluid but you can feel a coolness, a smoothness and gentleness as finally you find your voice and whisper,
His eyes open once more and you see the golden tears fall from his equally golden eyes, dissipating into nothing as his lips, usually set in a solemn line turn, curve to form a small smile.
How can you ship batxjoker? I don't mean this in an offensive, hateful way I just seriously can't see how you ship it. He literally murdered his son.
Haha, don’t worry, I’m not offended, that’s a fair question. You just gave me the opportunity to rant about something I’m a bit obsessed with right now, so you’re going to get a longer answer than you probably expected ^^ The short answer is just that I don’t like Bruce Wayne and I watch/read Batman related things in the mindset that I want Bruce to be harmed in some way and/or I want to see as much chaos as possible.
I’m gonna do this outside the context of the lego movie because that movie makes super it easy to superficially ship the two of them.
Okay, so I missed the superhero phase of childhood so my superhero knowledge comes through the lens of me being a cynical person. And I really just don’t like Bruce Wayne as a person. I just don’t. I also happen to have a history of being quite harsh in my ill wished against characters I don’t like and find it very satisfying when horrible things happen to them. Which is part of why I love the Joker so much. He basically exist to antagonize Batman and I like the idea of batman knowing this and knowing that he is at fault for everyone the Joker harms because he’s doing it for the attention. It’s easy to see that the two of them are probably a little bit too far intertwined, regardless of whether not there is romance involved. So anyway, I like the idea of batman being attracted to the Joker in a repressed sort of way because that’s about the worst thing I can imagine for him. Being attracted to a guy who has done so so so many horrible things and yet still somehow not being able to walk away. Also because if he ever had an actual thing with the Joker then it would probably tear the bat family apart. And that makes me very happy.
Just as an aside, I thought Damian Wayne was killed by like an clone of himself? I guess, you’re probably talking about Jason Todd. I guess he was batman’s adopted son, so that makes sense. I guess I’m able to accept the Joker as being awful because I’m not really attached to anyone in the comic/movies/etc. I don’t really feel like killing Jason is the worst thing the Joker has done though. The whole Barbra thing seems worse to me, although I guess it still might be the worst thing he’s done to batman.
So yeah, I don’t know what it says about me that the reason I like Batman is that I want to see everything around Bruce fall apart, but there you go.
On my first day of kindergarten, I was waving goodbye to a friend I’d made and walked straight into a cement column. Had a huge giant bruise on my forehead about an hour later. Thus starting my awkward childhood phase, that, unfortunately did not end until around junior year of high school, lol.
My most distinct childhood phase of all was the Titanic phase.
I found all the old books I received in the late 90′s while I was cleaning the bookshelves last week. I’m pretty sure we got rid of any of the VHS documentaries we had from back then, and I have largely forgotten any information from that time period other than a pretty thorough understanding of the ships’s structure and decks, and the date of the sinking.
We used to have an old Windows 98 era software that had a low-quality 3D explorable recreation of the ship that I probably spent a dozen hours using in elementary school.
That was also kind of responsible in getting me interested in 999 a decade down the line? Weird how that worked out.
Ironically enough, we have the Queen Mary sitting half an hour away and I have not visited since at least 2003.
headcanon that Magnus decorates the apartment to match whatever childhood phase Little One is going through
Little One is into Disney Princesses? Magnus magics the apartment to look like Cinderella’s castle one day, then the next day it looks like Ariel’s undersea palace complete with fish swimming outside the windows.
Little One likes the Avengers? (thanks Simon, mutters Magnus angrily under his breath) Magnus magics the place to look like S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters complete with holographic screens that Little One can play with.
Meanwhile Alec has learned to just not get used to any of the apartment themes and is good at it as long as he still has access to his beloved coffee maker.
In Freudian psychology, the oral phase in childhood development is that in which babies are mostly focused on sucking at their mothers breasts and putting everything into their mouths and licking stuff! Their mouth becomes their way of experiencing nurturing and pleasure. When someone becomes fixated on this stage of development, they will always crave and need nurturing, like an abandoned child and often find substitutes for the nurturing mother breats, such as
food (binge eating) and drinks
sucking on a pacifier until an unsually late age
maybe even kissing?? anything that keeps their mouths busy in physical terms (so not talking)
In astrology, oral personality structures are associated with the moon, the zodiac sign cancer, and to a lesser extent neptune (pisces) and venus (taurus). Reaching out for nurturing is normal and healthy, but becoming overly fixated on this stage can resolve in an over pronounced emotional dependence on others and unhealthy habits.
“You’re just going yo look back on your childhood and this phase and be so ashamed! What if your kids find out???”
Ok but what if ur kids find out about how gross u were being going out of your way to harrass kids or teens or other adults just trying to find an identity, phase or not??? Are you going to look back and go “ah yes that sure was fun sending those strangers death threats or slurs.”
There is a kind of beauty in technical limitation: frost flowering on a poorly insulated window, algae blooming from damp concrete, and light sifting through the gaps in the wall of a barn. It’s often moisture, the archenemy of the building arts, that causes problems in construction but, at the same time, approaching decay gives the built world a human dimension. A garden is never so beautiful as when touched by the wild. A house is never as lovely as when refined by the passage of time. Architecture can help us move on through life, to grow from the categorical certainties of childhood through the critical phase of adolescence and on to develop a sensitivity for the mystical in our lives. The beauty of dawn and dusk is hard to explain, but easy to destroy; you only have to switch on the light.