child-rearing

sacramento.cbslocal.com
50-Year Study Finds Spanking Doesn't Work
It’s an issue that’s long plagued parents, but new research being called the most comprehensive analysis on spanking says it doesn’t work.

SHOCKER!! Turns out that small and vulnerable children being physically attacked by the large and strong adults they most love and trust in this world has negative effects. Who knew?

also, thanks to @thedoomreport for this link

“It’s not ladylike to swear”
And I say, “Fuck you”
Because you don’t control me
I shouldn’t be stripped of
Free speech because I have
A vagina, or is that not ladylike
Either? I was not born into this
World a man, but as the saying
Goes “I brought you into this world,
And I can take you out of it.”
Well, not personally since I have no
Children. Which might surprise a
Lot of you since women should
Dream of having kids their entire
Lives. Until it happens. And you’re
Scolded for throwing away your
Career for a family. Because that’s
What women do. Throw away their
Careers. Why? Because they do
Not have the opportunity for a
Professional career since everyone
Expects them to be child-rearing.
Ironic.
—  Women Can’t Win
So yesterday I was buying underwear

And this little kid, maybe about 7 or 8, wandered over and hung around shyly for a bit, glancing at me every now and then. I smiled once, then pretended not to notice them watching me.

Eventually the kid asked “Are you a boy or a girl? Cause you look kinda like a boy but you’re in the girl part of the store.”

I smiled and said “I’m nonbinary! That means I’m not a girl or a boy. Anyone can wear this kind of underwear if they want.” And they looked really confused and said “You’re not a girl or a boy?” and I shook my head and smiled and they got REALLY excited

And said “So you’re a UNICORN?!”

And I looked around quickly and then leaned in and gave them a conspiratorial look, and said “Let’s just say I’m magical and not everyone believes I exist.” And the kid’s eyes got SO WIDE and they grinned and said in a stage whisper, "I promise not to tell anyone you’re a unicorn” in this really solemn voice.

And then the kid started to run away, and stopped and looked back and said “Wait, ANYONE can wear those?”

And I said “yeah, if they want to, because whether you’re a boy or a girl or a unicorn or something else doesn’t mean you have to dress a certain way.” and they said “So it’s okay for me to like dresses?” and I was like “Yeah! You can like whatever you like!” and they smiled really big and ran off

And that interaction made my whole day better and I hope that child has a good and non-heteronormative life

If a child is yelled at every day because they did something “wrong” in the parent’s eyes, because they didn’t behave like an obedient thing but rather like a person with their own individual wants and likes, they will not react immediately to a parent or caregiver raising their voice.

They are already so used to the parent or caregiver always being loud, always yelling, that they will not recognize nuances in the type of raised voice. They will not know if it’s a scream because something life threatening is about to happen or just the usual yelling of the parent or caregiver taking their freedom away.

They will eventually react when the yelling, the abuse, gets too much. But if this one instance actually was a life threatening situation, if they run in front of a bus, these few seconds of hesitation, this failure to analyze if the raised voice actually means danger or just abuse, can be deadly.
—  Yelling Is Always Abuse - Blibli Blogging
8

Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.


Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.


Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.


The extraordinary will take care of itself.


- William Martin

(by x)

Why Ashton Kutcher is So Worked Up About Public Bathrooms

“As a new dad, I recently learned an unfortunate reality about changing diapers while out in public with a child,” Kutcher wrote. “Almost all public changing tables are in women’s bathrooms, which makes it nearly impossible to find a table that’s accessible to dads. As crazy as it sounds, many stores don’t give dads the option to change their babies’ diapers. It’s 2015, families are diverse, and it is an injustice to assume it’s only a woman’s job to handle changing diapers. This assumption is gender stereotyping and companies should be supporting all parents that shop at their stores equally – no matter their gender.”