child-rearing

So yesterday I was buying underwear

And this little kid, maybe about 7 or 8, wandered over and hung around shyly for a bit, glancing at me every now and then. I smiled once, then pretended not to notice them watching me.

Eventually the kid asked “Are you a boy or a girl? Cause you look kinda like a boy but you’re in the girl part of the store.”

I smiled and said “I’m nonbinary! That means I’m not a girl or a boy. Anyone can wear this kind of underwear if they want.” And they looked really confused and said “You’re not a girl or a boy?” and I shook my head and smiled and they got REALLY excited

And said “So you’re a UNICORN?!”

And I looked around quickly and then leaned in and gave them a conspiratorial look, and said “Let’s just say I’m magical and not everyone believes I exist.” And the kid’s eyes got SO WIDE and they grinned and said in a stage whisper, "I promise not to tell anyone you’re a unicorn” in this really solemn voice.

And then the kid started to run away, and stopped and looked back and said “Wait, ANYONE can wear those?”

And I said “yeah, if they want to, because whether you’re a boy or a girl or a unicorn or something else doesn’t mean you have to dress a certain way.” and they said “So it’s okay for me to like dresses?” and I was like “Yeah! You can like whatever you like!” and they smiled really big and ran off

And that interaction made my whole day better and I hope that child has a good and non-heteronormative life

To those of you with experience with kids:

Can you give me some advice for how I can better interact with my two year-old nephew?

He doesn’t really engage with people when we talk to him. I’ll say his name, try to get him to look me in the eye. Most of the time, he doesn’t. He mostly runs around trying to play with his toys and whatnot. I don’t get to see him much, so often times things are a bit lively when we visit, so I wonder if maybe he’s just too stimulated to pay close attention. Plus, I know two is still pretty young.

But he doesn’t try to talk much, either. He yells out his alphabet, and numbers. If you ask him what number or letter “this” is and point, he can correctly identify it. He’s learning animals and colors and all that. So I think he understands more than I might realize.

But I feel like he doesn’t really connect with me. And I don’t know if that’s normal because he’s the only small child I’ve ever been around for a long time.

But how can I get him to be a bit more aware of when I’m talking to him? I want to establish some sort of communication with him, but it seems like sometimes he’s in his own world.


I’d love some advice, if you guys don’t mind. 

Actual responses from people when I say I don't want kids (yes, these have all actually been said to my face)

Me: I don’t want children
Them: Oh, you’ll change your mind

(Basically, you’re too young to make that decision)

Me:I don’t want kids
Them: oh but you don’t know what real love is until you have a child

Me: I don’t want kids
Them: gee, I couldn’t do that. If I don’t have kids then what is the biological purpose of me being here?

(That response was honestly horrifying the first time I heard it)

Me: I don’t want kids
Them: how do you know though? You’re only 21, things could change

(Again with the you’re too young thing, though this person had a child at a much younger age than 21)

Me: I don’t want kids
Them: Wait until you meet the right person, that decision may change
Me:I’ve been in the same relationship for almost 6 years, I have found the right person. Neither of us want children.
Them: but don’t you guys want someone who looks like the perfect combination of the two of you? Someone you’ll love for the rest of your life?

(This person basically went on to tell me my life would be unfulfilled without children of my own)

Me: I don’t want kids
Them: but who will take care of you when you’re old?

Me:I don’t want kids
Them: that sounds like a lonely existence

Me: I don’t want children
Them: so many women can’t have children, you should really be grateful that you can even carry a child.
Me: so, I should have kids simply because other people biologically cannot?


Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting children or having kids or adopting them. If that’s what you want in life, go do it! And I will be that cool aunt who takes them school shopping.

However, when I say I don’t want kids, can people just respect my decision instead of trying to make me feel like shit about it? Can you just say “okay cool” and move the fuck on?

When other people decide to have kids, I’m not over here going “but what if you change your mind?” Or “Congrats, you’ve fulfilled your biological purpose”

Why? Because it’s fucking rude and disrespectful. Respect people’s decision to both have and not have children. You are not worthless or unfulfilled or broken if you do not want kids.

Why Ashton Kutcher is So Worked Up About Public Bathrooms

“As a new dad, I recently learned an unfortunate reality about changing diapers while out in public with a child,” Kutcher wrote. “Almost all public changing tables are in women’s bathrooms, which makes it nearly impossible to find a table that’s accessible to dads. As crazy as it sounds, many stores don’t give dads the option to change their babies’ diapers. It’s 2015, families are diverse, and it is an injustice to assume it’s only a woman’s job to handle changing diapers. This assumption is gender stereotyping and companies should be supporting all parents that shop at their stores equally – no matter their gender.”

“It’s not ladylike to swear”
And I say, “Fuck you”
Because you don’t control me
I shouldn’t be stripped of
Free speech because I have
A vagina, or is that not ladylike
Either? I was not born into this
World a man, but as the saying
Goes “I brought you into this world,
And I can take you out of it.”
Well, not personally since I have no
Children. Which might surprise a
Lot of you since women should
Dream of having kids their entire
Lives. Until it happens. And you’re
Scolded for throwing away your
Career for a family. Because that’s
What women do. Throw away their
Careers. Why? Because they do
Not have the opportunity for a
Professional career since everyone
Expects them to be child-rearing.
Ironic.
—  Women Can’t Win
Roleplaying Races 3: Changeling

In folklore, a changeling is a term for a child that the parents or neighbors suspect was replaced as a baby by the fey, substituting one of their own, using such an explanation to make sense of their odd behavior (which may very well have been mistaken autism or learning disorders.) However, the Pathfinder changeling instead replaces the true fey aspect with something a little more sinister, and no less unearthly: Hags.

As a mono-gendered collection of creatures that prey on, but also leech off of civilized races, it only makes sense that hags also require humanoids to reproduce, acting much like parasite species that tricks another into raising their young as their own.

Either in disguise or not, hags mate with the males and/or phallus possessors of a race, and give birth to seemingly ordinary babies of the paternal race.

However, as they grow older, these changelings, which are typically raised among the father’s race due to their mother’s dark urges and callous nature making them unsuitable for child-rearing, these girls emanate a strangeness which few can find an explanation for, the only common traits that mark them as changelings being their heterochromatic eyes and any physical manifestations of their hag heritage, though they often also have an unearthly beauty, and eerie mannerisms.

As they reach puberty, Most changelings begin to feel a tug towards something in the distance, a longing for something they cannot quite place. Those that follow this tug do so at their own peril, for at the other end of that sensation is their hag mother, if she still lives, who will almost certainly overpower them and undergo the dark magical rituals to strip away what goodness lingers in them, and purge the taint of their father’s race from them, transforming them into new hags.

Those that escape, or never follow the pull to begin with, eventually lose that sensation, and are free to live their lives as normal, assuming they never encounter their true mother by random chance or design.

Changelings are inquisitive and empathetic and charming, but their bodies are delicate and frail.

That, however, belies how dangerous they can be, their skin being surprisingly tough, and sporting sharp claws to tear into those that would harm them.

The real interesting factor about changelings, however, is what they inherit from their hag mother. Even if they never become true hags, all changelings have a trait associated with the type of hag their mother was. Common ones such as the pheremonal charm of green hags, to the oversized muscles of annis, to the breath capacity of sea hags, are all well and good, but other hags do create changelings too, such as the loose skin of blood hags allowing them to change their appearance, or those that bear the mark of the mute hag having one eye all black, creating a small barrier between them and visual effects. Winter hags mark their children with resilience to cold and an uncanny ability to walk trackless through snow. Storm hag changelings often find the wind working with them, guiding their arrows and thrown weapons striking just a little harder. (It should be noted that a lot of these variants are only found in Inner Sea Races, and that the versions found currently on d20pfsrd.com are mostly third-party).

Of course, changelings are an extremely varied race, and some are very different from the standard. Many having access to magic, as well as some annis-blooded having a natural camouflage in mist. A few green hag-kin favor direct charming magic to natural allure, and some born of sea hags are masterful swimmers.

In theory, they can also vary quite a lot by virtue of their father’s race as well.

Changelings, like a lot of crossbreed races, may never find themselves truly fitting in anywhere but the most cosmopolitan places. However, unlike most, they may not even be aware of their true nature, since the manifestation is oftentimes so subtle. This can lead stress and insecurity as they constantly second-guess their own place in the world. Furthermore, this only gets more complicated once people figure out their true nature, labeling them as enchantresses and witches. Also, in places where hags rule, such as winter hag-controlled Irrisin in the Golarion setting, Changelings may just be an ordinary part of life, children to be groomed, then transformed into the next generation of rulers. Finally, there is the matter of their singular sex, which could be reinterpreted as a singular gender, with their only being cis girls and trans girls, with the occasional trans boy.

Obviously, changelings make for excellent witches, though every spellcasting class can be favored by them. Their frailty, however, does make them tend to stay clear of front-line positions. Those that can bolster their frail body with magic, however, tend to do well, becoming eerie alchemists, rangers, druids, and other such casters.

Changelings can make for a dark secret or a layer of uncanny for your players to consider adding to their character, and can be a lot of fun, just keep in mind how frail they can be.

3

To be fair to Tally she did get Easter eggs, I just had to sell em for rent because her rampant maneating + basic child-rearing hasn’t left her much time to write/earn any money. So we’re SO poor. 

Post eggs however she went to Varg’s of her own volition , and hooked up with Paul who happened to be there and seems to have forgotten she broke up with him via text for Gunther…

Fun fact - both the women in the background are Tally’s enemies from her having stolen their men. CLASSY

anonymous asked:

What happenes in pretebtious mom. Culture???? (Is it another one od those you aren't soing it right if you arent doing xyz?)

Basically. Pretentious mom culture, which I have seen on Tumblr a lot (and everywhere else online 🙄), basically is the mom community that judges you for not doing everything perfect or what’s seen as “superior” child rearing or “recommended.”

These are things I do with Sydney that would make a pretentious mom cringe:

Use normal diapers vs. cloth
Spoon feed vs. baby lead weaning
Use formula on occasion
Do not co-sleep in the same bed
Use activity toys like jumperoos, exersaucers, and yes, a walker (gasp!)
Never sing or read together
Plop her down in front of TV on occasion with a toy
Buy baby food from store instead of making my own

I’m sure there are other things I have done that deem me a “bad mom,” but like, whatever. I’m so done worrying about all these “sanctimoms” and “crunchy moms” and articles online that say they support all kinds of parenting but word the article in a way that clearly implies you really *should* breastfeed until two or how your child *is* better off without activity centers, or how your kid *will*, in fact, be the next Einstein if you read to them every single night.

Like, I googled “baby lead weaning” because I wanted to know what it was and the first article that popped up basically demonized any mom who spoon fed! As if spoon feeding was this archaic method that moms who don’t know any better still do because they haven’t been blessed with the method that is baby lead weaning. 🙄

The fact of the matter is, is I don’t support open judgment of other moms, especially if they are not putting their children in imminent danger. Basically if your child is happy and healthy, everyone else can fuck right off and mind their own business.

Like, if moms are going to be all judgy, that shit *will* be passed onto their kids. I’d rather have my baby raised as is and be kind than “perfect” and an asshole like their mommies. 👼🏻

anonymous asked:

do you ever wish people had to get a license or something before having kids? like an "I am certified and have been trained in good child rearing" thing? is that kind of restriction is morally wrong? I just see so many parents who aren't necessarily bad parents...but there's also a certain amount of emotional neglect or well intentioned but poorly executed parenting that just messes with a kid. sorry about this ask, family reunions tend to put me in a mood,,

i kinda agree. maybe not a license or whatnot, but society really needs to make it more common and accepted that a) people really need to be ready and know what it takes raise human beings in a safe and healthy manner and b) some people will never make good parents, and that’s ok. 

like we need to get rid of the notion that having children is essential or a duty or what everyone needs to do. no. this isn’t the 1400′s anymore. we have more than enough people in the world; more than enough children who are looking for loving and caring homes. what we need more of are people raising children in a healthy manner–physically, emotionally, mentally. we need more love, and care, and nurturing, and support, and acceptance. we need people who want to have children not for financial gain, or societal acceptance, but bc they truly want to 100% support another happy healthy human being and thus make the world a better place. 

and like yeah, i know having children is a natural right, and we can’t forcibly take that way, but we need to change society so that people have children only if and when it’s right for them. ie better sexual education, access to affordable birth control, better childcare resources, etc etc. 

and, if i may interject personally, having parents who had kids when they weren’t ready and also didn’t really want kids and only had children bc that’s what was expected of them.. growing up was shit. my mother was emotionally abusive, my father neglected me for years, and it goddamn fucking sucked. these were 2 people who really shouldn’t have had kids. and the only reason they’re so nice to me now is bc i’m getting a phd so they finally have something to brag to their friends about. 

ahhh i went on a rant didn’t i. this is just a really passionate topic of mine. 

anonymous asked:

Anon is right. It is mandatory for a child under two years of age to have a rear facing seat in California. Gov. Jerry Brown passed this law not that long ago.

Anonymous said to shadyshit91:On Jan. 1, 2017, California law will require all children to ride in a rear-facing child safety seat in the vehicle’s back seat until they are 2 years old. (It was age 1 under the previous law.) Briana needs to get her act together. She’s putting a life in danger.

Yikes. That poor kid 

i’m committed to the most inclusive possible reading of queerness, so i may be biased, but i think a damning characteristic of this ace discourse is that it isn’t really about validating queer identity for the supposed ‘real queers’ but validating the disgust of those people toward aro/ace people. this seems clear to me as an effort of exclusion bc when a more marginalized queer person (trans, poc, nd) defends the inclusion of aces (whether them being queer inherently or their being queer by other means: gender, split b/w romantic​/physical attraction, etc) they are attacked and excluded on the basis of that trans, poc, or nd identity.

just an observation: queerness is something I see as a frame by which to deviate from the disciplinary mechanisms of gender as well as ideals of romance/sexuality, none of these things are constructed without power in mind. I understand the call for aro/ace people to form their own community, but I think it’s actually more efficient to treat these deviations as a whole in the formation of a historic bloc (of queers) which seems the only way to progress. though perhaps i’m applying praxis wrongly.

anonymous asked:

Your blog is eye-opening and really a new point of view to me but: ,,trans women are women, in that trans women are subjected to the most fundamental components of what defines women structurally" Do you mind explaining what you mean by that? What does define women structurally? (If it's not biology?) What kind of fundamental components?

“Women” refers to a place in a system of male dominance. Those occupying the place of “women” are most fundamentally those who have their bodies made into objects to be used for male sexual desire, be this in the form of:

1. The coercion of bodies into becoming baby factories (the purpose of one’s body becomes childbirth and child-rearing);

2. The purpose of one’s body becomes male sexual satisfaction at any cost (sexual violence, ritualized sexual dominance);

or

3. The purpose of one’s body becomes to arouse men more generally (pornography; also, more broadly, in order to do anything, one must be “sexy” doing it).

This is not to say women’s existence is reducible to this, but i would say this is what is foundational, or most fundamental, to women’s existence. And all women, to the extent that they do occupy that position, experience one or more of those things, if not all three. What all three of the above aspects have in common is that they are all ways in which men exert social control over women’s bodies, in particular so that women’s sexuality exists to be used, namely by men (whether that’s in the form of bearing children or not).

To me, it is clear that trans women also occupy the place of “women,” because as much as any other women, our social acceptance depends upon the extent that we are able to meet male criteria for what is sexually arousing, and our bodies are coerced into modes of existence which are acceptable to male sexual desire (e.g. we are frequently forced to make modifications to our bodies to even attain basic rights and legal documents, which is one way in which a model of women’s sexualness—ultimately what turns men on—is forced on us).

‘Child’ Rearing

It had been a few weeks since the incident had occurred at the mall. Even though GIR initially forgave him for having hurt him, there had been some alterations in their relationship for a while. GIR had been wary of him and instinctively flinched when Zim made any movement to him at time. That was something the irken hoped would go away with time.

The visions he had were less frequent now; perhaps they were mainly a manifestation of anxiety from having bottled up his fear that his minions (GIR) could wind up getting them captured and killed.

In the meantime Zim knew he needed to train them better, but enforcing consequences was difficult as all he knew and was raised by were military tactics, and the thought of doing such a thing to GIR…made him honestly a little sick. It was funny since supposedly pain was how someone punished a servant. For whatever reason, Zim couldn’t do so.

So, it left only one main alternative that he supposed was a better option since his robot seemed to be like a child.

“Computer!” Zim shouted, reclining in his chair. “Show me some information on human…child disciplining.”

@fried-demon-potato