child-abuse

So this weekend I may have saved a little girl from a pedophile

So this weekend I was at a water park with my finance. I am on a lot of medication and overheat easily, and the park was almost empty so I would hang out in the wave pool to cool down while my fiancee went on the slides because I didnt want to slow him down but had to regulate my body temperature between slides.

In the pool I noticed a little girl, 6-9 years old, maybe. She was going up to adults and depending on their gender saying either “mommy” or “daddy” and climbing on them/being very physically affectionate (hugging, cheek-kissing). At first I thought these adults were family members but I noticed they all eventually abandoned the girl and went off with their own children. Eventually she came up to me and called me “Mommy” and the waves were going heavy so I thought at first that maybe she was confused/afraid/disoriented so I let her climb on me piggyback and held her above the waves and started to ask her where her mom was, if she needed my help getting back to her mom (in case the waves were making it hard for her to swim or disorienting her) and she told me “my mommy isnt here, you’re my mommy now” and i let her sit on my shoulders until the waves passed and another little girl called her over to play. I thought they were maybe together but realized they weren’t once they split up, so i watched her for a cycle or two before my boyfriend finished with the slide he was on and i asked him to keep an eye on her while I alerted some lifeguards because I was concerned for her safety/worried some perv would hurt her or try to leave with her. The lifeguards went to find her mom and I kept watching the girl from across the pool. Most adults reacted like I did, sort of alarmed and looking around for her parents but for some reason most of them just let her go without looking for her parents. Eventually she went up to a man who reacted in a way that appeared familiar, I thought he way maybe her parent but he started looking around the pool in a suspicious way. So i sort of walked over to them and the girl recognized me and immediately said “Mommy! I found daddy!” And the guy way too quick was like “Im her father.” And I was like “No, you’re not.”

I called a lifeguard over and over the radio we were told that her mother was located passed-out drunk in a room with her infant brother so I started screaming and pointing at the guy telling the lifeguard that hed tried to claim the little girl and they cleared the wave pool and I had to talk to the cops and shit but I guess the moral of the story is if you see something, SAY SOMETHING, because that pervert literally could have walked out of the water park and into the resort and hurt this little girl and she must have interacted with 10-15 adults other than me who just decided this kid wasnt their problem.

Because This Needs Said

I wish to apologize to my followers for this. @el-yom, bless you for putting up with such asinine nonsense for so long. 

To @ichigorukiagreatfriends, The reader gets to decide how they feel about a character and their actions. And it is not up to you or me to tell them how THEY ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL AND REACT. 

I am not saying I think Renji is abusive. My argument is predicated on the fact that his actions could be interpreted that way by people. And it is entirely their right to think that. 

But I am sick of your defense against abuse, both mentally and physically. And your defense that police don’t commit brutality against criminals. 

It is entirely possible for a woman to be both mentally and physically abused. Even a strong smart woman. It happens all the time. For various reasons, both men and women subject themselves to emotionally and physically harmful relationships. IT DOES HAPPEN. And they subject their children to it too!

Let me give you an example: 

My Mother chose to marry my father. My mother is a very strong and smart woman. She’s taught me wonderful things, and she’s put up with a ton of shit. And she works her ass off to provide for her family. 

My Father is an abusive manipulative man. He makes you feel sorry for him. He makes promises, and tries to act noble. He tries to act like the friendliest, most loyal man. He spouts things like “Never raise a hand to a woman.” But at the same time he would beat me, his daughter, till she was covered in bruises and couldn’t stand.

My Mother. although smart and strong, has low self esteem sometimes. She’s been hurt. And she makes the wrong decisions. Because that’s what people do, they make mistakes. After having three kids with my father she divorced him. She tired to get custody of us, to protect us. But my father had a better lawyer and he won. 

Thus I was subjected to both mental and physical abuse the rest of my childhood, till I turned 18. And there wasn’t a damn thing my Mother could do to help us. My Dad had me and my brother’s so scared and controlled that we wouldn’t speak out against him. My Dad was a respected member of our city, being both a volunteer ambulance driver and trained medical emt. He also owned his own appliance company. People knew him and loved him for the man he showed to the world. But that didn’t stop him from having a cruel side, and a temper. As well as control issues. 

The one time I spoke out against him, and tried to get help. he moved me to a different city, and convinced everyone that I was a pathological liar. Then he continued to beat me. His new wife, my stepmother, was no better. She would work me to the bone, dump garbage in my bed, and steal my belongings. Among many other terrible things. I wish not to go into the details. 

My Mother could do nothing to help, because unless I was willing to stand up to my Dad, she had no case against him. And my Father had me too scared. 

Women, all the time, everyday, are put into terrible positions. and there aren’t any easy answers. The strongest women can subject themselves to unhealthy and harmful relationships. 

I don’t care if you ship Renruki. And if you think its good, then that’s your own opinion. But if someone else thinks it is a harmful relationship, then they are more than entitled to that opinion. You have no right to tell them otherwise. 

Renji, attacked Rukia. He hurt her. Whether or not she forgave him is irrelevant. Because women who have been hurt will often forgive and let their partner off the hook for various reasons. Poor-self esteem, poor relationships, the need for friendship. Rukia has few friends, Rukia has poor self esteem, Rukia has few supportive and strong relationships. Rukia’s behavior to look past Renji’s despicable and harmful behavior is in line with the behavior of average abuse victims. It’s what victims do. 

Renji ENDORSED Rukia’s execution. He was just gonna let it happen, even though he didn’t agree with it. He even fought against those trying to save her. He knew Rukia didn’t deserve death, and still he insisted upon hunting Ichigo down and Killing him so that he could not rescue Rukia. You could say this was Renji’s “job” but he was not ordered to hunt down and kill Ichigo. He acted on his own will. He may not have wanted Rukia to die, But he didn’t want to stop her execution either, and proceeded to assist in it’s fruition, ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS SINCE CAPTURING RUKIA IN THE LIVING WORLD.

Renji has proven that when the going gets tough, and he has to choose a side. He puts his duty, and his pride, and his own feelings above that of Rukia. His loyalty will never lie completely with her. And therefore she can never fully trust him. 

She may have married him and had his kid. But that does not make him a good father, or husband. And Rukia will have to live with the knowledge everyday that Renji could in fact turn on her and her child. Will it ever happen? Maybe, maybe not. You never know if Renji will ever be put into a position to choose between the woman he loves and his duty. But Renji has proven on several different occasions that Rukia in not the most important thing to him. A human Rukia knew for only a few months, had more balls, more resolve, and more loyalty to her, then her “husband” did. 

Whether or not she forgives him is irrelevant. Forgiveness from a victim does not absolve the attacker of any wrong doing. The wrong doing STILL EXISTS. HE STILL HURT HER and HER NEW BEST FRIEND, AND HIS FRIENDS. Just because Rukia says, she forgives him doesn’t make his actions any less despicable. 

Renji is scum. I like Renji, and I think he can be an interesting character. But he’s an awful friend. Plain and simple. He’s a guy who’s made some pretty shit-tastic and sleazy decisions. And if some fans do not wish to forgive him, and look the other way. That is good. It means they don’t put up with that kind of shit from people. From FRIENDS or LOVED ones. 

Rukia, a damaged woman, was written by Kubo to accept Renji. This does not make their relationship right, or good, or perfect, or okay. Kubo wrote a damaged woman forgiving a man who hurt her, and marrying him despite his despicable actions. Is this a healthy relationship? No, not at all. But it’s something that happens in real life. And it’s really sad to be honest. It’s not a happy ending. It’s reality. 

NO ONE HAS TO LIKE AND ACCEPT RENJI AND RUKIA’s RELATIONSHIP. You may like it, and think its okay, but that’s your opinion. Stop trying to tell people that they are wrong when they don’t like that kind of relationship. Just because Kubo wrote it doesn’t make it a healthy happy ending. Maybe Kubo didn’t want to give Rukia the perfect happily ever after? Maybe he wanted to write an unhealthy relationship. Maybe he was “just keeping it real.”  with such bittersweet unhealthy relationships at the end. But that doesn’t mean readers have to like and accept that. Stories don’t always end happily ever after. But it doesn’t mean fans and readers have to like and accept the ending as okay, good and acceptable. Sometimes stories just end with awful endings, and unhealthy relationships. People don’t have to like or support them! It just goes to show that some people don’t like that kind of behavior in a relationship, and they think the characters deserved better. 

Furthermore, Stop with this nonsensical crusade to defend Renji’s actions. They were WRONG. He was WRONG. Fans are within their rights to hate him, or hate his actions. You don’t have to hate him or his actions. But your crusade to defend his behavior as right and good just makes you out to be an abuse defender. Someone who thinks abuse is ok, as long as circumstances turn out the way that you like. 

There are many people who would have loved for my mother to forgive my father and re-marry him. But that would not have absolved my father of wrong doing. It would not have made everything he did okay. It would not have gotten rid of the emotional trauma I have suffered, or that my mother suffered. 

And it would not have made my parent’s marriage HEALTHY and ACCEPTABLE.

Saij Spellhart Out

When your child says “Why can’t I get a puppy?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules”

Try “Any pet is a lot of responsibility. A puppy would have to be fed, walked, and taken outside to use the bathroom several times a day and taken for regular check-ups and vaccinations at the vet. You can’t do all of that by yourself, and I/we don’t have the time or money either.”

When your teenager says “Why can’t I come home at 2:00 this Saturday?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”

Try “The time you come home is a matter of respect and consideration. I/We will not only be concerned for your safety, but we would either be disturbed in the middle of the night when you arrive or forced to stay up for several extra hours waiting.”

When your child says “Why am I not allowed to do this thing?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”

Try actually communicating a legitimate reason, because children pick up on subtlety and on context and on the unspoken messages, and it’s better to teach children lessons like “You should think really hard before taking on new responsibilities” and “It’s important to show consideration for the needs of the people with whom you share a living space” than lessons like “It’s okay for people to demand your absolute obedience so long as you’re dependent on them for survival.”

Something horrible is happening on youtube

I’m going to preface this post with a content warning. This post is about child abuse. The video I’m going to link includes actually video footage of child abuse. It is one of the most upsetting videos I have ever watched. My post includes in depth descriptions of child abuse. 

This morning I watched a Youtube video discussing and highlighting what is happening on another Youtube channel. If you have the stomach for it, I’d suggest watching the video because Phillip DeFranco does a much better job of summarizing the situation than I can. 

For those of you who can’t watch, I’ll give you a very brief rundown. 

The Youtube channel DaddyOfFive is a combination family vlog and prank channel. In a recent video, the parents pull a prank where they pour invisible ink on one of the kid’s floors and then make him think that they believe he poured ink all over the floor. They scream and swear at this little boy, shouting things like “What the fuck did you do?” while the boy cries and cowers, looking genuinely terrified. Even the best child actors could not pull off looking as genuinely devastated as this child does. 

As DeFranco highlights in his video, although all the children are pranked, it seems that this one child (Cody) takes the brunt of the cruelty. In many videos he is seen being hit, kicked, pushed, and pinned down by his older siblings. In one video his father pushes him face first into a book case. In one video Cody begs his family to stop, saying that he’s tired of this. In another video his parents scream at him and tell him he’s the only one in the family who can’t “take a joke”. 

In response to some of the flak they have been getting, the parents uploaded a video about “Blocking All The Haters”. They goad the children into saying on camera that they aren’t being abused. Now keep in mind, the kids have been told that all the “Cool stuff” they have been getting is because of the Youtube channel. They know that if the pranks stop, the cool stuff goes away. Most of the children chime in that they are not being abused. Cody hardly says anything. The oldest boy says, “At least you aren’t beating us”. 

What is happening to Cody is child abuse. It is emotional, psychological and physical abuse. It is torture. And the worst part of it all is that it is monetized. The parents are being paid by advertisers to abuse this child under the guise of “It’s just a prank, bro”. 

So what can we do?

First of all, we can report the videos on DaddyOfFive’s channel for containing depictions of child abuse. If you decide to help by doing this, please be sure to flag the specific instances of abuse such as Cody being pushed or the parents screaming vulgarities at the children. 

Second of all, we can let the companies advertising on this channel know that we won’t be buying anything from a company that sponsors videos of child abuse. 

Finally, if anyone knows this family in person, they can make a report to CPS. Now the family is claiming that they’ve already been investigated and “cleared” by CPS, but that’s not how this works. Repeated reports mean repeated investigations. You do not give up and look the other way when a child is being abused just because CPS failed to act the first time. When my neighbors were abusing their children, I had to call CPS every week for over a month before something was done. Don’t give up.

All abusers are cowards but shout out to abusive parents for preying on fucking children who were their responsibility and can’t escape them and then, when they realize their kids are gonna move out and move on and don’t have any real obligation to spend time with them or be there for them, typically acting all buddy buddy and trying to backpedal and say “what abuse” for the rest of their kids’ lives, even if sometimes they continue the same shitty behavior just at a distance lmfao I hope you all choke you weaklings, all of your children are ten times as strong as you’ll ever be

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

I think, I think one of the worst things about realizing you’ve been abused is the actual realization. Slowly learning what’s normal and what isn’t. Having it smack you in the face that “oh god that wasn’t normal that’s not normal all” and it’s just this horrifying realization

And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?

You doubt. You refuse to doubt. You panic. You become this mess of “is this real” and “I know this is real” and “I don’t want this to be real”

stop passing around daddyofive’s videos

daddyofive is literally making money off of those watching and passing around his videos. watch videos by other people discussing the situation if you want but stop giving the man more money - especially when he’s using the money to further brainwash his children into allowing him and their mother to abuse them.

things daddyofive has done

  • told one of his children (cody) that they were going to adopt him out
  • pushed cody’s face into a dresser
  • tricked cody and another child into thinking they did something bad (gaslighting) and abusively cursing at them for it
  • literally waterboarded one of his children who had fallen asleep during a movie (who was eight years old at the time)
  • the entire family went to disney without cody because he “was being bad”

there are a lot of signs of abuse in the videos, including that the children are constantly spoken over whenever they try to say or add anything in one of their videos.

cody is the primary target of their “pranks” and has recently been showing signs of self harming. he got sent home from school for scratching and cutting himself. he’s also shown signs of being aggressive and sometimes becoming uncontrollably angry.

people think they aren’t abusing their children because they use the youtube money to buy things for them. so much that the children believe that they’re also not being abused because of all the nice things they have.

in one video, cody even states that he doesn’t know what the word traumatized is but that he’s not traumatized.

please, stop giving these people money. stop watching their videos.

it’s time to shut down the lie that children who don’t grow up being hit, humiliated, and scared into obedience will grow up into spoiled, entitled, selfish monsters. there is zero truth to that. children grown in a healthy and nurturing environment will get a chance to grow up healthy. children who are raised by monsters who try to pretend that abuse is for the child’s sake and that the child would become a monster if not abused will be stripped of their health and will be denied an actual start in life and will be forced to fight for survival. I’ve had enough of abusers pretending they’re helping the child while they’re just taking and taking more and more away from them and leaving them permanently traumatized and emotionally injured. Don’t let them get away with it.

Shout out to all the people who are having Mother’s Day shoved in their faces even though their mothers were abusive, neglectful, or absent. I know it feels like everyone is forgetting you or leaving you behind, but please know that you’re not alone, and you have every right to hate or ignore this holiday.