child-abuse

There are mental illnesses that only come from child abuse and politicians are still stuck arguing about the net neutrality. Can we have just ONE election that actually addresses child rights and dangers, and mental health? Show us that you actually care about children instead of finding any way to force them into a political argument that was funded by big corporations.

anonymous asked:

I'm going to be honest, I'm overweight and I know it. I'm​ trying to be healthier. Everytime I don't do something my parent wants me to (clean the entire house, walk to the store when I have homework), she calls me lazy and says this is why I'll never lose weight. She tells me that she just wants me to be pretty/wear nice clothes, but that makes me feel worse. Am I not already beautiful? Do I have no self worth if I'm fat and ugly? Like, I used to think I was beautiful, but I hate myself now.

Oh gosh. My friend. :C you are amazing. You are beautiful. You are a worthwhile person. Your weight, your body shape, neither of those means that you are not worthy of respect and love. You are worthy of respect and love at any size. Everything your mom is telling you is complete garbage meant to make you feel bad. This is the same shit I heard from my parents, and it damaged me for years and years. Trust me when I say the scale has nothing to do with your worth.

I want to share with you something that made a big difference in how I saw myself, and how much self worth I had. Its a blog called Shapely Prose, by Kate Harding. I would start here https://kateharding.net/2007/11/27/the-fantasy-of-being-thin/ and then go all the way back to the beginning of her archive, and read forward, it helped me a lot. 

But please, whatever you do, don’t believe your mom. You are worthy of respect, and love no matter what you weigh or what you look like. You do not deserve abuse for your appearance.

When your child says “Why can’t I get a puppy?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules”

Try “Any pet is a lot of responsibility. A puppy would have to be fed, walked, and taken outside to use the bathroom several times a day and taken for regular check-ups and vaccinations at the vet. You can’t do all of that by yourself, and I/we don’t have the time or money either.”

When your teenager says “Why can’t I come home at 2:00 this Saturday?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”

Try “The time you come home is a matter of respect and consideration. I/We will not only be concerned for your safety, but we would either be disturbed in the middle of the night when you arrive or forced to stay up for several extra hours waiting.”

When your child says “Why am I not allowed to do this thing?”

Instead of defaulting to “My house, my rules!”

Try actually communicating a legitimate reason, because children pick up on subtlety and on context and on the unspoken messages, and it’s better to teach children lessons like “You should think really hard before taking on new responsibilities” and “It’s important to show consideration for the needs of the people with whom you share a living space” than lessons like “It’s okay for people to demand your absolute obedience so long as you’re dependent on them for survival.”

Something horrible is happening on youtube

I’m going to preface this post with a content warning. This post is about child abuse. The video I’m going to link includes actually video footage of child abuse. It is one of the most upsetting videos I have ever watched. My post includes in depth descriptions of child abuse. 

This morning I watched a Youtube video discussing and highlighting what is happening on another Youtube channel. If you have the stomach for it, I’d suggest watching the video because Phillip DeFranco does a much better job of summarizing the situation than I can. 

For those of you who can’t watch, I’ll give you a very brief rundown. 

The Youtube channel DaddyOfFive is a combination family vlog and prank channel. In a recent video, the parents pull a prank where they pour invisible ink on one of the kid’s floors and then make him think that they believe he poured ink all over the floor. They scream and swear at this little boy, shouting things like “What the fuck did you do?” while the boy cries and cowers, looking genuinely terrified. Even the best child actors could not pull off looking as genuinely devastated as this child does. 

As DeFranco highlights in his video, although all the children are pranked, it seems that this one child (Cody) takes the brunt of the cruelty. In many videos he is seen being hit, kicked, pushed, and pinned down by his older siblings. In one video his father pushes him face first into a book case. In one video Cody begs his family to stop, saying that he’s tired of this. In another video his parents scream at him and tell him he’s the only one in the family who can’t “take a joke”. 

In response to some of the flak they have been getting, the parents uploaded a video about “Blocking All The Haters”. They goad the children into saying on camera that they aren’t being abused. Now keep in mind, the kids have been told that all the “Cool stuff” they have been getting is because of the Youtube channel. They know that if the pranks stop, the cool stuff goes away. Most of the children chime in that they are not being abused. Cody hardly says anything. The oldest boy says, “At least you aren’t beating us”. 

What is happening to Cody is child abuse. It is emotional, psychological and physical abuse. It is torture. And the worst part of it all is that it is monetized. The parents are being paid by advertisers to abuse this child under the guise of “It’s just a prank, bro”. 

So what can we do?

First of all, we can report the videos on DaddyOfFive’s channel for containing depictions of child abuse. If you decide to help by doing this, please be sure to flag the specific instances of abuse such as Cody being pushed or the parents screaming vulgarities at the children. 

Second of all, we can let the companies advertising on this channel know that we won’t be buying anything from a company that sponsors videos of child abuse. 

Finally, if anyone knows this family in person, they can make a report to CPS. Now the family is claiming that they’ve already been investigated and “cleared” by CPS, but that’s not how this works. Repeated reports mean repeated investigations. You do not give up and look the other way when a child is being abused just because CPS failed to act the first time. When my neighbors were abusing their children, I had to call CPS every week for over a month before something was done. Don’t give up.

All abusers are cowards but shout out to abusive parents for preying on fucking children who were their responsibility and can’t escape them and then, when they realize their kids are gonna move out and move on and don’t have any real obligation to spend time with them or be there for them, typically acting all buddy buddy and trying to backpedal and say “what abuse” for the rest of their kids’ lives, even if sometimes they continue the same shitty behavior just at a distance lmfao I hope you all choke you weaklings, all of your children are ten times as strong as you’ll ever be

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

I’m trying to make things beautiful again, because I’m sure that at one point I could look at the leaves on a tree and be inspired.

I’m trying to make things painful again, because I’m sure that at one point I could look at the belt on a waist and be horrified.

There are so many daily monsters and obscenities in this world. But nothing bothers me. Not even cutting myself hurts anymore, if it ever did to begin with, so I gave up.

There is a life beyond the extent of my mind, a life beyond my memories. But I’m stuck in the past, trying to feel something resembling childhood, and therefore missing the feelings of an adulthood. Trying to receive motherly and fatherly love that I was never given.

I can give off the vibe of sentience to others but I’m dead inside. I call my smiles compulsive lying. The warmth that comes from my soul, that fireplace we roast marshmallows on in the serene scene of winter snow that floats down our window type of warmth, that so many people seek in me is a falsity to hide a starving dog in the icy cold that was trained to comfort the rich or lose it’s legs.

You taught me fear. You taught me survival instinct. You taught me how to hear strange noises that don’t exist whenever I’m too calm because my mind will no longer let me believe that I’m safe. Maybe you didn’t intend for me to learn those things but I did.

Maybe you did all the things you did to me out of love. And hell, if that changed anything. Wild animals are calmer than me.

How can I let you know that you did damage?

I think, I think one of the worst things about realizing you’ve been abused is the actual realization. Slowly learning what’s normal and what isn’t. Having it smack you in the face that “oh god that wasn’t normal that’s not normal all” and it’s just this horrifying realization

And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?

You doubt. You refuse to doubt. You panic. You become this mess of “is this real” and “I know this is real” and “I don’t want this to be real”

stop passing around daddyofive’s videos

daddyofive is literally making money off of those watching and passing around his videos. watch videos by other people discussing the situation if you want but stop giving the man more money - especially when he’s using the money to further brainwash his children into allowing him and their mother to abuse them.

things daddyofive has done

  • told one of his children (cody) that they were going to adopt him out
  • pushed cody’s face into a dresser
  • tricked cody and another child into thinking they did something bad (gaslighting) and abusively cursing at them for it
  • literally waterboarded one of his children who had fallen asleep during a movie (who was eight years old at the time)
  • the entire family went to disney without cody because he “was being bad”

there are a lot of signs of abuse in the videos, including that the children are constantly spoken over whenever they try to say or add anything in one of their videos.

cody is the primary target of their “pranks” and has recently been showing signs of self harming. he got sent home from school for scratching and cutting himself. he’s also shown signs of being aggressive and sometimes becoming uncontrollably angry.

people think they aren’t abusing their children because they use the youtube money to buy things for them. so much that the children believe that they’re also not being abused because of all the nice things they have.

in one video, cody even states that he doesn’t know what the word traumatized is but that he’s not traumatized.

please, stop giving these people money. stop watching their videos.

it’s time to shut down the lie that children who don’t grow up being hit, humiliated, and scared into obedience will grow up into spoiled, entitled, selfish monsters. there is zero truth to that. children grown in a healthy and nurturing environment will get a chance to grow up healthy. children who are raised by monsters who try to pretend that abuse is for the child’s sake and that the child would become a monster if not abused will be stripped of their health and will be denied an actual start in life and will be forced to fight for survival. I’ve had enough of abusers pretending they’re helping the child while they’re just taking and taking more and more away from them and leaving them permanently traumatized and emotionally injured. Don’t let them get away with it.