If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to
feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.
I know there’s a lot of
pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful
If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.
You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.