child-abuse

You should NEVER be afraid of your parents.
if you are something is wrong.

Coming from someone who needs to hear this a lot, if you are ever frightened of your parents and what reactions they may have there is a problem.

Even if you have done something “wrong”, you should not be scared of unjust repercussions.

Parents are supposed to be there to love and support you, even when you make mistakes and even when it may be difficult. This is their job as parents.

You are not a burden and you will always deserve better than people who force you to stay small and be silent in their presence.

Stay safe and remember that what you are going through is not ok and that you are not overreacting. Being hurt and neglected by those who are supposed to care for you is very painful. Remember that you are loved.

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Due to recurring Abuse at home, endangering minors physically and mentally- I want to remind you all that I have a donation button on my blog!

I am hoping to keep saving up to supply them with food, clothing, or anything else they may need so they dont rely on their abusers.

Anything is welcome, Im an unemployed Immigrant student with minimal income from freelancing/commissions so please, donate if you can!
(also if i get donations over 8- id be willing to draw you something like the solas below!)

(or commission me!)

If you cant do either, boosting would be wonderful!

Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”

For those living with abusers

I don’t know if this would work for everyone but here’s one thing I was able to do to stop a narcissistic/psychopathic father from attacking me verbally

It takes some nerve to do this and I wasn’t able to do it until I was holding him responsible for his shit and was very very pissed at him

I learned to shower him with attacks as soon as he would intrude into my space. Mindless attacks. Nothing real, if I had confronted him on something he had done he would start raging and gaslighting and insisting that I’m delusional and insane, but if I attacked something that’s really hard to be angry about it would work. If I criticized his shirt, his voice, his hair, his hearing, he would get very confused and completely diverted from his original intent to attack me. And the key is, don’t stop attacking them, no matter what, keep finding new things to throw mindless criticism on, until they feel confused and leave.

“What the fuck do you look like, what’s up with that shirt, whens the last time you brushed your hair, do you ever even hear what i’m saying? do you pay attention to my words, do you have hearing, it’s so frustrating to speak to you when you don’t even listen, how am i expected to deal with this bullshit, your shirt is annoying me, go fix it, don’t come at me looking like that” - this is not something an abusive parent would expect to hear from their kid, and it’s kinda hard to get enraged over someone criticizing your shirt, especially since they did it to you at least a thousand times. I think this wouldn’t work with the victim playing narcissist who would immediately start to cry “how could you say a mean thing to me” but it worked with a dictator-type psychopath narcissist who would never allow anything that affects him to show on his face.

Also this is not you stepping down on their level, you cannot abuse them, you’re literally just diverting their attention to themselves so they can’t focus on abusing you, it’s diversion tactics, they can’t feed on your fear and pain if they’re busy defending their lame ass shirt. They wont get hurt, remember they came in there to hurt you. 

Also one thing that helped me stop them intruding into my private life was to keep replying to them in this manner “I don’t feel obliged to answer that question.” and I kept repeating that no matter how much they would pressure me, so they don’t get information about my private life. And when they would start threatening to me I would say “Unless you’re going to threaten me with death or prison, get the fuck out of my room.” It’s a bit hard to give your child death threats and prison threats over them unwilling to do as you say or unwilling to give you information, so this would actually get them out of my room. I did get numerous death threats in other occasions but they were never classified as such so they didn’t register as doing something bad in abuser’s mind.

In order to be able to defend from constant abuse you have to not care what they think, feel, want or need, you can’t care about your abusers, you can’t value their input, you have to know they don’t get hurt from your attacks, and it doesn’t even matter because they’re here to hurt you, they’re the enemies, it’s okay to attack them and to use all you’ve got to stop them from hurting you, you’re not abuser if you refuse to give them information and if you refuse to give them an opening to attack you. Also I understand in some situations it would be incredibly dangerous to attack them in any way because they would take disproportionate revenge against you, so the point is to make them realize THEY’re the one doing something intrusive, inappropriate, annoying, unwelcome, they’re the one being a nuisance and they should start feeling ashamed of themselves. Of course they wont, but hey, one can hope. You keep putting the focus back on them no matter what they accuse you of, if they start attacking you and instead of defending you attack back, they’ll realize that particular attack has no effect on you and wont use it anymore, they’re literally learning how to attack you based on how you react, they’re not attacking you because you deserved it but because they’re enjoying your reactions, your distress and pain is like food to them, they’re consuming it like energy and enjoying it and will attack you more to get it. There’s nothing humane about this behaviour and it’s perfectly okay to attack them instead until they go away, you’re not feeding on their pain, you’re protecting yourself.

One thing that really gets me about today’s society is how emotional/psychological child abuse is normalized and even celebrated.

I’ve noticed a phenomenon of parents getting together and talking about how they’re such a Mean Mom or Mean Dad and how they’re raising their children to be respectful. They talk about destroying their children’s possessions, isolating them, humiliating them, and/or publicly shaming them.

And when these people hear about, say, a parent smashing a kid’s phone for not cleaning their room or burning their possessions or filming a punishment or embarrassing moment and putting it up on social media, they commend the parents for “teaching the kids a lesson”.

Why the fuck do we, as a society, think this is okay?

It doesn’t teach kids valuable life lessons, it teaches them to be scared of repercussions. It’s bullying and child abuse and for some reason, people think that’s commendable.

Whenever I hear people saying “haha I bet that 14 year old learned a lesson”, it instantly makes me suspicious of them. I will instantly think of you as either a potential child abuser or a child abuse enabler.

As a survivor of psychological abuse, people dismissing this behavior as “harmless life lessons” makes me wonder if it really was abuse. If I deserved it. If I really deserved to have my pet’s life threatened because I was a liar.

It’s not cute. It’s not “good parenting”. It’s intimidating, shaming, and traumatizing your child into compliance.

One of the most ludicrous things parents say is “Why aren’t you more grateful to us for feeding, clothing, and sheltering you?!”

It’s because you’re the parent. You have a duty to feed, clothe, and shelter your children. You’re not doing them a favor by making sure they don’t starve. You’re fulfilling one of the responsibilities of parenting. Your children don’t owe you for doing what you’re obligated to do.

{tw: child abuse} Please help save my baby cousin


Hey guys, so i normally don’t post things like this but my family is dealing with some serious problems right now.


my baby cousin Everett is fighting for his life in the ICU right now because of his horrible excuse for a mother 

he was barely 4 months old and had already received a broken arm, broken ribs, shaken baby syndrome, and then his mother raised him up above her head and slammed him into the wood floor causing a SEVERE brain injury. 
the doctors found new blood on top of old blood on his brain. god only knows what else this monster did to this child.


here is the police report article about the arrest of his mother HERE

There has been a facebook page set up for moral support and status updates about Everett’s condition HERE 

my family was originally just accepting money orders/checks and selling t shirts and wristbands to local friends and supporters but it isnt enough.

they finally put together a gofundme account for Everett and I am going to IMPLORE you all to PLEASE donate anything you can, if you can.
and if you can’t donate then at least signal boost this and share it with everyone you know <3  GOFUNDME CLICK HERE 

Everett was recently making a lot of progress, he was in rehab and speech therapy and was starting to be fed from a bottle again, but the other day things took a turn for the worse and he is in the ICU again with a swollen skull and more fluid on his brain




please please PLEASE boost this and keep my cousin in your thoughts <3

i seriously cannot thank you all enough in advanced for any shares or donations this may gain 

please help save this baby boy

If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.

I know there’s a lot of pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful or mean.

If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.

You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.

trauma processing information ahead: you doubt your feelings relating to a certain event because when it happened you don’t remember as if it hurt you, you remember it as it maybe it wasn’t that traumatic, maybe it didn’t affect you so much, you feel like you handled it just fine and you weren’t so scared or pained by it back then and you don’t feel you can call that traumatic but then in present you suddenly get overwhelmed with pain and fear and grief and even anger and you try to stuff it down because NO IT WASN’T THAT BAD and you keep convincing yourself you’re overreacting because you can remember that it was not that bad and you keep thinking it didn’t even matter

So now try to remember when it first happened, it could be that you were still really small, or you were directly faced with the abuser/danger, or you were in unsafe environment where you couldn’t freely express, but the thing is, it didn’t hurt so bad the first time because you were unable to both survive and feel that amount of pain. Children’s bodies are not capable of withstanding traumatic amount of pain and survive, that pain is repressed and dissociated for later when bodies are big and strong and able to survive it. You cannot allow yourself to experience pain and fear that would make you extremely vulnerable and thus less likely to survive in traumatic situation so in that case too, your body represses the emotions and settles on dissociation until you’re safe enough and strong enough for these to be properly processed. 

Only reason it “didn’t feel so bad” back then is because your body repressed the pain and fear to save you. But the amount of pain and terror and anger you’re feeling now is exactly how bad it was. You’re only now experiencing on your own skin how actually bad it was! That’s how badly you were hurt. You’re not overreacting or making a big deal out of it now, you were unable to feel how bad it was before. Your feelings are always there for a reason, they’re generated inside you by harm that was done to you and you can trust them. Your reactions are not wrong, your feelings are not wrong, it was exactly that bad.

I know this is going to be unpalatable to parents, but “abusive parents” aren’t scary anomalies that exist only on the news, broadcast solely to make you feel better about your own faults. There are abusive parents in your neighborhood. There are probably abusive parents in your workplace, friend circle, and even among your family. If you want to be a good parent, then it’s your duty to learn what behaviors are abusive, learn the warning signs of abuse, and do the work to help when you learn that a child in your social sphere is being abused.

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Police posted shocking photos of two adults — who police believe had overdosed on heroin — passed out in a car with a 4-year-old boy in the backseat, according to WJW. The city of East Liverpool, Ohio shared the photos on their Facebook page on Thursday after responding to a call of an incapacitated driver. Police said they hope the photos send a message to drug users to think twice before abusing drugs. The child is in the custody of Columbiana County Children’s Services. (Source)

VIDEO: Cop Pepper Sprays School Kids as they Express Outrage Over Officer Assaulting 8th-Grader

In a blatant abuse of authority, a Las Vegas cop was recently caught on cell phone video pepper-spraying a group of high school students. Instead of committing a crime or threatening the officer’s safety, the teens were simply asking why he was physically assaulting an 8th grader when he suddenly fired pepper spray into their eyes.

On Friday, a student recorded a cell phone video of a Las Vegas police officer slamming an eighth-grade student’s head against the hood of his patrol car while pulling the kid’s hair. The 8th grader had been taken into custody after he allegedly trespassed onto the campus of Eldorado High School and refused to leave. According to police, a crowd of students gathered around the officer when the boy’s sister asked the aggressive cop to leave her brother alone.
“What the f**k are you doing to him?” a girl asks the cop a moment before he shoots her and nearly half the students in their faces with pepper spray.

source

The way police treat kids is just amazing. An adult man surrounded by children beats a boy and then sprays the rest kids - is it a demonstration of power or what? Fuck that! Cops are not humans.

‘Epitome of evil stepmother’ in Queens gets 15 years in prison for beating, starving 12-year-old

Via the Daily News

A Queens woman who beat and starved her 12-year-old stepdaughter until she weighed just 58 pounds will spend 15 years in prison, officials said Friday.

Sheetal Ranot, 35, of Ozone Park, was sentenced to the long prison term for abusing the child over a horrifying two-year period starting in 2012.

Keep reading

I’m telling you

to not hit your kids

to not spank or slap or punch or lash them

because it fucking traumatizes them

if you can’t handle irritation

if you can’t handle hyperactivity and loudness and wildness of a new human in development who is figuring out how their body works and what they can do and what they want to do

then what the fuck did you expect a child is

did you have kids with expectations of “oh i’ll have a small human i’ll be able to control completely”

“oh i’ll be able to shape this small creature into whatever I want it to be”

“oh I’ll have someone to support me and to work for me and pay for itself”

“oh I’ll have someone to comfort me and to love me despite my manipulative and cruel nature because they depend on me”

“oh I’ll be able to live the life I couldn’t through this new human that I made for myself who should listen to me always”

then fucking change all of these expectations to “I have chosen to help a new human to grow into whatever they’re supposed to be and I WILL NOT MESS WITH THEIR DEVELOPMENT TO SATISFY MY PERSONAL NEEDS”

If you can’t just fucking cherish that you have someone’s complete trust and affection and that you can watch them grow and figure everything, that you can follow through their phases and support them and be damn proud of them when they become what they want to be

then you’re not a parent material

stop fucking up your kids lives to make yourself feel better

asshole.

Barring a small handful of common-sense exceptions, kids should be allowed to hang out in their room with the door shut, and as they get older, locked. People need to be alone sometimes. That’s just sort of a common experience. This may come as a surprise to some folks, but children & teenagers are people. Sometimes they’ll get sad and they’ll want to be alone. Sometimes they’ll get anxious and they’ll want to be alone. Sometimes they’ll want to be alone and not really have a reason for it; that’s okay, too.