consider this. I don’t care that it’s actually more profitable to feed and house people, I think we should do it even if it was an expense on society because I’m not a fucking asshole. Most homeless people are women and children and some of yall out here like “well if child labor was legal maybe these kids could buy their own food, instead of taking handouts”
or “the government really needs to think about saving money not helping people” because we have soooo many cases of austerity measures working… lmao oh wait we fucking dont and it’s failed horribly to hoard money like literal dragons.
date a girl who bakes. date a girl with a sweet tooth. date a girl who will always bring you your favourite snacks. date a girl who loves to take long trips out into the countryside. date a girl whose hands can turn into claws when she’s angry. date a girl whose whole purpose in life is to keep kids on the goddamn train. date the trolley witch.
Ash Yams: “Ash yam is a tough tuberous root vegetable…”
These taste like sweet potatoes, although very grainy and with a tough outer skin that outlanders peel off before eating because it is both tough and bitter. A true Dunmer would never dream of peeling off this skin. They like it.
Very common food, very basic. Generally cooked in a wood-burning oven, the texture is baguette-like and extremely crusty. The flavor itself is bland but palatable. The amount of salt added to the dough depends on the region; water-rich areas tend to eat saltier bread.
Comberry: "The comberry is a bush that produces a bitter berry, best known as the basis of the native comberry brandy, a rough but potent alcoholic beverage of Morrowind…”
Similar in flavor to an unripe mulberry. Except incredibly bitter, like you-just-licked-the-spout-of-a-well-used-Keurig bitter. It sweetens during the fermentation process, however not by much.
Crab Meat: "The mudcrab native to Vvardenfell is prized for its sweet crab meat…”
Because mudcrabs are, at their smallest, the size of a large chihuahua, they usually produce enough meat to feed a modest family of three (elves don’t have many children). Though all mudcrap meat is tough and chewy, the younger the crab the more tender the meat.
Hackle-Lo Leaf: "Hackle-lo leaf is a tasty edible succulent leaf…”
One of the most common vegetables eaten on Vvardenfell. Though its shape and texture are similar to a fat kale leaf, its properties are more similar to a squash. When left uncooked, it has a crispness and flavor like a cucumber. Cooked, it tastes like sauteed zucchini. Its versatility with spice and other foods is why it is preferred over other vegetables.
Hound Meat: "Hound meat is the flesh of the nix-hound. The meat is sweet and tender…”
Most similar to beef. Nix-Hounds are much, MUCH leaner than cows, however, and so the meat they produce has a very low fat content. Maybe that’s why all the Dunmer are so thin? Or maybe they are constantly burning calories by scowling all the time? Nirn may never know.
Kwama Eggs: "Kwama eggs are a rich, nutritious foodstuff…”
Large kwama eggs are the size of ostrich eggs, and small kwama eggs are the size of bigger-than-average-jumbo chicken eggs. Whatever the case they’re bigger than a chicken egg, and if you wanted to scramble them for breakfast you’d just have to crack one open for a heaping plate. The taste is yolky, but the yolk-to-albumen ratio is pretty even. A waxier texture, it squeaks on your teeth when eaten.
Marshmerrow: "The sweet pulp of marshmerrow reeds is a delectable foodstuff…”
Fruity and sweet, it is served both raw and cooked. The taste is honestly kinda like a marshmallow (believe it or not), but with an almost peachy undertone. The raw, watery pulp is eaten with a spoon, but when cooked, it’s eaten with a fork. To use the wrong utensil is a grave social mistake, as is every other action done by outlanders. Like existing.
Rat Meat: "Rat meat is tough and greasy, with an unpleasant odor and taste. Nonetheless, it is cheap, abundant, and nutritious, and palatable when cooked in a stew and masked by strong strong spices.”
Texture is most like pork. Eating rat meat in a stew is like eating the little meatballs in Spaghetti-O’s; you can eat it just fine when you don’t think about it. It has high tryptophan content, so it makes you sleepy, just like eating turkey does.
Saltrice: “Saltrice is another of the tasty and nutritious foodstuffs…”
Though fibrous, it becomes easier to chew the longer you cook it, often by boiling (Dunmer need their colons cleansed, too). Similar in flavor to cabbage, it is eaten both raw and cooked, usually as an additive to stews.
Scrib Jelly: “…Crushed scribs produce a nutritious but sour-tasting gelatin… that the natives eat with gusto.”
This is nothing like sweet pectin fruit jellies. It’s like pork-bone-yellow-nasty-meat-gelatin. But the coagulative properties come from the chitin (pronounced KITE-in) shell of scribs. They don’t have bones. It’s definitely an acquired taste, and it does grow on you with each successive mouthful. The texture is like that of thick refried beans, and the flavor is that of mild buttermilk.
Scrib Jerky: “Scribs cut into strips and dried in the sun are called scrib jerky… tastes scarcely worse when spoiled than when fresh, and are a practical foodstuff for the hardy native traveler.”
Very chewy, very dry. But all around not bad. One of the most versatile foods in terms of flavors, it ranges from sweet to savory. Scrib jerky produced in traditional dry-rub methods is incredibly salty and rather spicy, and is eaten regularly among the ashlanders. In modern cities, the meat is marinated first in a usually sweet sauce, and it produces a more tender jerky, but it doesn’t last as long.
Scuttle: “Scuttle is Vvardenfell’s favorite local dish. This cheese-like, greasy substance made from the flesh of local beetles is remarkably tasty…”
Eaten with a knife and fork, it is generally reserved for those in the upper class, though all but the poorest Dunmer will find a way to eat it at least twice a year on special occasions. A robust dish, it is comparable in texture to paneer. The flavor is spicy, and it tastes like a Masala dish.
Trama Root: "A calming tea with modest magical properties is brewed from the thick, bitter-tasting root of the trama shrub…”
Most similar in taste to Oolong tea. Almost a smokey flavor, but definitely a woody undertone. Perhaps more like an overtone. No one eats the trama root itself, except for confused and inferior outlanders. But the tea is good and is drank throughout the day, especially in the evening.
See, this is the kind of Republican/Conservative bullshit that pisses me off! First, they think it’s impossible to care about more than one thing at a time. Like no one could possibly care about Americans AND refugees. But, the deeper issue – the issue they’re trying like hell to cover up – is that they don’t give a flying frak about our homeless children either! If they did, they wouldn’t be cutting welfare, food stamps, unemployment, and disability! They wouldn’t be fighting so hard against raising the minimum wage! They wouldn’t be cutting education spending – from pre-school to college! They wouldn’t be cutting money for housing! They wouldn’t be killing the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare)! They wouldn’t be cutting funding for Planned Parenthood! They wouldn’t be cutting funding for veterans! They wouldn’t continually blame the poor for being poor! They wouldn’t be spending 8-14 BILLION dollars on a wall the majority of Americans don’t want, and most experts say won’t work, instead of helping either Americans or refugees! These hypocritical chuckleheads cry “America First,” but their actions have made it all too clear they don’t care about Americans either! Well, unless those Americans have the word “millionaire” after their name.
•Yelling at your child for no real reason or something very small aka over reacting.
•Dismissing your child’s own thoughts, opinions, beliefs and interest as ‘crazy’, ‘irrelevant’ etc, when they don’t align with yours
•Basically never allowing your child to become their own person independent of you
•Blocking your child’s access to the outside world and getting angry or jealous over relationships you feel take precedent over yours
•Teasing/insulting your own child, calling them names like 'useless’ an 'idiot’ etc
•Never apologising when you’ve yelled at your child for no reason or when your in the wrong. Instead switch to being overtly nice and issuing loving epithets and displaying overly loving gestures
•Getting mad when your child gets mad at you or disagrees
•Uses the idea that you have gave your child life and food as emotional blackmail often to prevent them taking a life choice that wasn’t in your designated plan for them
•Never apologising when you’ve hurt your child’s feelings even after they tell you specifically that you hurt their feelings.
If you do any of these chances are you are an emotionally abusive parent so congrats! I will now be taking care of your children to spare them repercussions your actions will cause them in adulthood.
Just like with your pets, having a fat kid is a reflection on you as a person. Don’t feed your kid junk. No kid deserves to have their childhood stolen by obesity. Believe me. And no amount of cutesy, dumb sounding shit about tummies and how you need to be obese for your belly to accomodate your organs and delusional crap like that will make this better.
I still pay the price of being overfed like a trash can 20 years later.
Almost everyone that knows Niklaus wonder how a vengeful monster like him can deeply love and care for another, like you. In these 1000+ years of living, he’s never met someone like you. Aside from Rebekah and Elijah, you were the only person who can look past his flaws and accept him for who he is. Because of you, he feels that his existence now has a purpose. He is now dedicated only to you and his child.
Klaus was elsewhere taking care of ‘business’ while you stayed at the Mikaelson compound and watched TV in the bedroom that you and Klaus share, laying on the comfy California king bed.
Of course, Klaus always felt the need to have some sort of bodyguard with you at all times, so Elijah offered to stay and keep watch. Whenever you got hungry, you didn’t mind making yourself food, but you know how the Mikaelson brothers are with you, they treat you as if you’re a delicate little flower carrying Klaus’ child. So, Elijah had food delivered to the compound.
You were enjoying your food in bed until your phone rang, it was your boyfriend, Klaus.
“Hello sweetheart.” Klaus greeted through the phone.
“Hi. Checking up on me again?” You said to Klaus. Although you appreciate his concern, he literally has been calling every 30 minutes since he left.
“Of course, love. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t?”
“I know I know. But Elijah’s here.” Elijah, sitting on the bed next to you, looked at you after hearing his name, then you looked at him and smiled. ”I’m perfectly safe and so is our baby.” Now being 4 months pregnant, you looked down at your small belly, rubbing it. Your cheeks blushed red at the thought of how utterly happy you are carrying the hybrid’s baby.
“Perfect. I’ll see you soon, love.” Klaus hangs up the phone with a smile on his face. Oh, how he cannot wait to come home to you.