-giant kid with a bunch of tiny kids
-shizuo isn’t allowed to smoke around them so good 4 his health too
-shizuo trying to explain to these little 7 year olds what taxes are and how to do them only to end up with a screaming/crying child and its him
-shizuo with tiny bows in his hair
-shizuo having lipstick hearts and too much eye shadow on his face bc the kids wanted to do his make up
-shizuo making the children healthy but yummy snacks
-shizuo pretending he adopted one of them and he is just babysitting their classmates to scare the shit out of Izaya
-shizuo laughing and explaining its a side job
-shizuo referring to these kids as his tiny army
-shizuo setting his tiny army’s wrath upon a sleeping izaya
-izaya having bows and make up like shizuo when he wakes up
-all of these tiny children calling him their big brother
-shizuo having glitter in his hair and clothes from doing arts and crafts
-just babysitter Shizuo
because can you imagine shizuo as a single father. premise is that the mother passed away or left them and this is au because canon shizuo would never trust izaya with his kid
shizuo’s running late one day and it’s been almost two hours since he was supposed to pick up his kid. so he sprints to the daycare center, is totally freaked out because what if his kid is sad and thinks his papa abandoned him or if someone else kidnapped him? but he gets there and sees someone sitting by him and keeping him happy, even having draped his fur trim coat around him. “jesus–thanks for looking after him.” “ahh, that’s no problem. many single parents are juggling too many things,” the stranger says and gives a coy smirk. “my name is orihara izaya. ”…heiwajima shizuo. nice to meet you.“
shizuo continuing to run into izaya, especially at the daycare. he soon realizes it’s because izaya works nearby and his kid keeps hugging his leg because he’s so attached and izaya spends some of his free time keeping his company because shizuo’s kid is so shy that he has a hard time making friends and spends most recesses alone
izaya basically living with shizuo and his kid to help them out. because shizuo works a minimum wage job and can’t be late because he could so easily be fired and izaya has a comfortable salary job, is at no risk of losing it. and also because izaya can cook better than shizuo can
izaya not liking kids but shizuo’s kid is this brilliant ray of sunshine and even izaya likes him
shizuo coming home occasionally and seeing izaya napping on the couch, his kid curled up against him and blanket draped over them both
shizuo falling in love with izaya slowly but resisting it because he doesn’t feel like he has time for a relationship. and he tells izaya this when izaya mentions the idea of a relationship and izaya’s very good at brushing it off like it doesn’t hurt
izaya staying away because shizuo isn’t as good as keeping the hurt from his expression and shizuo’s kid looking sad and asking where izaya-san is and that they never finished reading a book together
the kid one day getting so sad and not liking his new babysitter so he runs away and somehow finds his way to izaya’s apartment and izaya is so surprised to see him but he can’t turn him away so invites him in and tells his clients that the meeting is pushed back
"but orihara-san–” “these are not matters to be discussed in front of a child.”
izaya texting shizuo to tell him that his kid is safe and shizuo is so alarmed that the babysitter lost his child that he fires them and goes over to izaya’s
izaya seeing, once again, that shizuo’s kid is his priority and the most important person in his life the way he hugs him and looks so immensely relieved that he’s okay
izaya tugging on shizuo’s shirt before he leaves and kisses him very quickly and very briefly and murmurs ‘you’re a good father, shizu-chan’ before letting him leave
shizuo trusting celty to look after his kid a few days later and he shows up at izaya’s with a planner and he’s blushing and he shoves it in izaya’s face
“write down when you’re free and then i’m going to see if that overlaps with when i’m free and when celty can watch [kid’s name] and then we’re going to go on fucking dates”
“Stop your whining, Shizu-chan. It’s something we can do together.” Izaya grinned holding up his knife.
The two of them were sitting outside Izaya’s apartment cross legged surrounded by pumpkins. Some small some large but still pumpkins.
Izaya was happily arranging them in a line in front of him looking like a child. A psycho child ready to kill cats and give more tricks than treats- still a child.
Shizuo wasn’t so happy. Right now he could be curled up on his sofa with a pudding cup and a copy of Kasuka’s latest movie. If the flea would behave perhaps he would have invited him. Instead he was sitting freezing cold in the chilly night. Small stones dig into his butt and the only light to guide them was the spot light over the lobby entrance.
To make things worse he had never carved a pumpkin. Never eaten one or touched one. It was going to be yet another thing Izaya could do to show him up.
Shizuo sighed holding up the small knife he had been given. “Cut off the top, Shizu-chan.” Izaya grinned holding up one he had already done.
“Yeah yeah.” Holding the pumpkin in his lap Shizuo cut into the top the knife sliding through with ease. Concentration marred his face slowly cutting away. His hand slipped. What had started as a circle was an uneven triangle shape.
“That will do. Grab the top and pull it out.” Izaya grinned. There was now three finished pumpkins and he was still struggling with his first.
What he hadn’t expected was the mess that was inside. Strange orange and white bits fell from the lid he had made. It was only by luck that the mess escaped his uniform.
“Wasn’t too hard, was it?” Izaya smirked waving the knife.
“Hollow?” Izaya grinned holding out a spoon. “Great.” He wished he had stayed at home.
Even so Shizuo held back his strength taking his time to gouge out the insides. The outer would cave in the moment he tensed.
The pair of them worked in silence. Shizuo scooped the last part out proud of what he had accomplished. A smile on his lips he looked up seeing Izaya sitting still holding candles giving him a small warm smile.
“Now you have to cut the eyes and the mouth. You might want to draw the design first.” Izaya teased throwing him the pen. “Ne, Shizu-chan. Pass me your lighter.”
“Why? I already agreed not to smoke whilst we were doing this.”
“To light the candles, protozoan.”
“Oh. Right. Okay.” Shizuo fumbled in his pocket holding out the lighter. Izaya reached for it their fingers touching. “Shit. The design.” Shizuo flushed looked down at his pumpkin.
Taking the cap off the pen Shizuo drew two circles for eyes and a oblong for a mouth. Tossing the pen down he picked up the knife stabbing it through. “No!” Izaya cried at his side. “Gently.”
Izaya’s hand was on his wrist slowly guiding him into cutting the eye out. Shizuo swallowed at their closeness. So much for hated enemies. The activity for their so called date wasn’t that bad.
“There. Easy see.” Izaya grinned risking a kiss on his cheek. Shizuo held up his pumpkin. “Not bad for a first attempt. Now we put the candle in.”
Shizuo did as instructed watching Izaya light his with a speed only shown in their chases. The lighter was in his hand within moments. Carefully he lit the candle inside watching his pumpkin come to life with a bright glow.
“We can leave them out here.” Izaya grinned carrying his one by one to line them up outside the building.
“I was thinking of taking it to show Kasuka.” Shizuo grumbled quietly. “Won’t they be eat-”
Shizuo’s chocolate eyes widened like saucers staring at Izaya’s line of pumpkins. His on off boyfriend hadn’t carved a face like his. Instead their was a word on each one. Marry me Shizu-chan?
“Flea? What the hell?” The blonde asked in shock. Izaya grinned holding up two more lit pumpkins. Yes. No.
Closing his eyes didn’t calm the wave of turbulent emotions in his heart. Slowly opening his eyes he looked at Izaya’s expectant face. This time the raven wasn’t full of confidence looking sheepish eyes full of hope.
Leaning over Shizuo blew out the candle turning to walk away. “Later flea, I’m going to show this to Celty.” His strides quickened wanting to put space between them as much as he could. Risking a glance back he could see a glowing yes in Izaya’s hands.
Hey there, do you have any Shizaya headcanons in relation to children? (Their own children, their friend's children, how they treat children while they're around each other as opposed to when they're not?) And you know I love your prompts, but I just want to say again: You're doing God's work!
Hey!! Actually this was perfect timing, because I was totally writing a Shizaya as Parents AU thing. Sorry for the delayed response!! Anyway, I wrote a whole bunch of different things down, so it’s really obnoxiously long and maybe all over the place, but hopefully it’s what you wanted!
I had a lot of fun writing this, so thank you so much for messaging me!! And I never thought about the whole friend’s children thing, so that was a lot of fun to think about.
(And also, just as a note because I got super confused at times while writing this, I used “they” in reference to the child, just because it didn’t really matter to me what sex/gender. Or sometimes I just used “____” for their name. I started using “it” at first because that seemed right to use for a baby, but then it started sounding demeaning or something, hahaaha. And I also just assumed adoption, but surrogate or anything else is totally fine!)
Oh, and there are maybe a few NSFW things in here for anyone reading it. But nothing major.