child of neglect

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

Physical abuse

  • parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
  • parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
  • parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
  • parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
  • parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
  • parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
  • parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
  • parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
  • parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
  • parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
  • parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
  • parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
  • parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat 
  • parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
  • parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
  • parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

  • parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
  • parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
  • parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
  • parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
  • parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
  • parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
  • parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
  • parent shamed me for my physical appearance
  • parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
  • parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
  • parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
  • parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
  • parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
  • parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
  • parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
  • parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
  • parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
  • parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
  • parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
  • parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
  • parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
  • parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
  • parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
  • parent assured me that nobody will ever want me 
  • parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
  • parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
  • parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
  • parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
  • parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
  • parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
  • parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
  • parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

  • parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
  • parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
  • parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
  • parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
  • parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
  • parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it 
  • parent threatened to leave me
  • parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
  • parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
  • parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
  • parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
  • parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
  • parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

  • parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
  • parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
  • parent didn’t notice I was injured
  • parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
  • parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma 
  • parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was depressed
  • parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
  • parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
  • parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
  • parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
  • parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
  • parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
  • parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
  • when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

  • parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
  • parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
  • parent only gave me minimal money to survive 
  • parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
  • parent took the money I earned from me
  • parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
  • parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
  • parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
  • parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
  • parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
  • parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
  • parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
  • parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!

John Winchester and Child Neglect:  A Comprehensive Study.

It’s been a somewhat divisive subject within the fandom as to what kind of a parent John Winchester was.  Frequently, I see posts pop up on my dash defending John, claiming that he loved his sons and did the best he could under the circumstances.  Others claim John was blatantly abusive.

Well, I think it’s pertinent to lay the matter to rest once and for all:  he undeniably was.

And we needn’t look to subtext for signs of physical abuse, either (though as many others have pointed out, there is plenty there): child neglect is the most common form of child abuse, and it is textually evident throughout the series.

The NSPCC defines the basic needs of children as follows, all of which John gratuitously neglected:

1.  Basic physical care.

The NSPCC maintains that children should be provided with “warmth, shelter, adequate food and rest, grooming (hygiene) and protection from danger.”

Whether or not the various motel rooms they frequented could be equated to proper shelter, John routinely left his sons without enough food to share between them:

Young Dean is shown giving his portion of cereal up for baby Sam, and is later shown to have been forced to resort to stealing in order to feed him.  

Even in his adulthood, when asked if he had ever been “really hungry.  Like, not eaten for days hungry,” Dean emphatically replies that he had. 

The signs of hygienic neglect are slightly more subtle, but also present: after spending the summer without Dean, for example, young Sam is shown in clothes that are obviously too big and unbuttoned at the sleeves.    

And as for “protection from danger?”  Well, unless you count giving your small children loaded firearms, sufficed to say it was nonexistent. 

2.  Affection:

As the NSPCC puts it, healthy affection “includes physical contact, holding, stroking, cuddling and kissing, comforting, admiration, delight, tenderness, patience, time, making allowances for annoying behaviour, and general companionship and approval.”

Obviously, there was a point at which John would have provided his sons with adequate physical affection, but after Mary’s death it appears to be basically nonexistent.  

He is shown to criticize Dean fairly consistently (”I wouldn’t have given you that car if I thought you were going to ruin it”), was unreasonably harsh in response to his childhood shortcomings (e.g. failing to protect Sam from a monster when he was ten), and “leaving him to rot” for the summer at a boy’s home for stealing food at the age of sixteen.

3.  Security:

According to the NSPCC, security constitutes as “continuity of care, the expectation of continuing in the stable family unit, a predictable environment, consistent patterns of care and daily routine, simple rules and consistent controls and a harmonious family group.”

John constantly moved his children from one motel to another for the duration of their childhood.  This prevented his children from formulating any lasting friendships with people their age, the effects of which are most evident in “After School Special:”  Sam is left feeling like “a freak” in comparison to his peers, whereas Dean has already carefully developed his hypermasculine public image.

Moreover, John is predominantly absent in their lives, routinely missing holidays and disappearing for days on end.  Hardly a stable parental figure for the boys to fall back on.   

4.  Stimulation and innate potential: 

The NSPCC defines this as “praise and encouragement; curiosity and exploratory behavior. By developing skills though responsiveness to questions and to play, by promoting educational opportunities.”

Even disregarding John’s blatant discouragement of Sam’s pursuit of higher education, this is most evident in the characteristics of the boys themselves:  

Sam is ambitious, motivated, self-disciplined, and academic.  He prides himself on his ability to succeed in scholastic environments and conduct research, which got him a free ride to an ivy league university at the start of the series.  

These are all characteristics typical of a firstborn child, whereas Dean’s laid-back persona is more typical of a second or third born.  

As others have pointed out, this is because Sam WAS a first born child…to Dean.  

The reason first-borns are typically such high achievers is because their parents treat each success as a momentous occasion, whereas their successors typically garner less attention.  Dean was never praised for his accomplishment by John, whereas Dean provides Sam with a surprising amount of support and encouragement. 

Even John’s journal takes note of this, stating that when Sam took his first steps, he immediately went to Dean.

5.  Guidance and control.  

“To teach adequate social behaviour which includes discipline within the child’s understanding and capacity and which requires patience and a model for the child to copy, for example in honesty and concern and kindness for others.”

John taught Dean how to perform various illegal activities, including credit card fraud and hustling pool. 

This makes it doubly ironic that he reacted so violently to Dean stealing food or getting drunk as a teenager, considering he didn’t exactly set the best standard for upstanding citizenship.  Maybe he was just upset he got caught?

6.  Responsibility. 

“For small things at first such as self-care, tidying playthings or taking dishes to the kitchen and gradually elaborating the decision making that the child has to learn in order to function adequately, gaining experience through his/her mistakes as well as his/her stresses and receiving praise and encouragement to strive to do better.”

This one is a little different, considering John arguably entrusted too much responsibility to children his sons’ age.  Nevertheless, the fact remains that he gave almost no encouragement to the boys for performing these tasks, leading Dean to realize John was possessed when he told him he was proud of him.   

And finally…

7.  Independence. 

“To make his/her own decisions first about small things but increasingly about the various aspects of his/her own life within the confines of the family and society’s codes. Parents use fine judgement in encouraging independence and in letting the child see and feel the outcome of his or her own capacity. Protection is needed, but over-protection is as bad as responsibility and independence too early.”

John militaristically handles his sons, expecting them to be basically subservient to him and to obey his orders at all costs.  He forcibly cut Sam out of his life when he chose to become independent in his adulthood, electing to attend college instead of continue hunting. 

Moreover, Sam is visibly surprised that John let Dean go hunting alone at the age of twenty-six.

In conclusion, the reason I find John Winchester defendists so irksome is not that they demonstrate any real ill will, but that they demonstrate society’s fundamental understanding of what abuse looks like and the forms that it can take.  

Moreover, they demonstrate the popular misconception that because someone is well-intentioned, likable, or even sympathetic under some circumstances, that they cannot be abusive.  

I’m not saying John wasn’t worthy of pity.  I’m not saying he wasn’t without redeeming qualities.  I’m not even saying he didn’t love his sons.

I’m saying that he was, by definition, canonically abusive.  And we, as a fandom, need to acknowledge this fact once and for all.    

2

Genie was born in 1957 in California. Her father determined that she was mentally disabled and therefore not worthy of his attention or care. He isolated her from everybody - locking her alone inside a room until she reached the age of 13. While inside this room, he kept her strapped to a toilet or enclosed in a crib. Due to her isolation, she was incapable of communicating or walking when she was finally rescued by Los Angeles child welfare authorities on 4 November, 1970.

Her father would beat her with a plank wood each time she attempted to communicate with her family and would bark and growl at her like a dog to intimidate her - this instilled a severe fear of dogs which continued after she was freed. He even grew his fingernails; the sole purpose being so he could scratch at Genie is she ever “misbehaved.” After she was freed, she was often used as a case study for psychologists, linguists, and scientists.

Genie was sent into care and while there seemed to be a series of breakthroughs in the beginning, there were also major setbacks - she was exploited and also abused by those who were supposed to be caring for her - she was sent to an extremely religious foster care home in which she retreated and in 1977, she managed to tell a children’s hospital that her foster parents had physically punished her when she had been sick. Following this, her speech never recovered and nobody knows for sure what became of her other than she was sent to an institute for the mentally undeveloped in Southern California in 2008.

anonymous asked:

Did that anon read the books? The whole point was Dumbledore leaving Harry with the Dursleys because of Lily's magic protection. Dumbledore knew the Dursleys were abusive, and instead of putting Harry's wellbeing first and implementing secondary protection (and that would have been easy enough with a secret keeper) he decided to "see what would happen" to his little hero. "For the greater good." Everyone has every reason to dislike Dumbledore for that reason.

I always say this, a child who’s been neglected and ostracized is easier to shape and manipulate. Dumbledore knew what he was doing. He decided that a child’s well being could be sacrificed “for the greater good”. There’s no excuse for that, whether you like Dumbledore or not you have to admit it’s irrefutably a terrible thing to do.

If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.

I know there’s a lot of pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful or mean.

If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.

You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.

The Shameful Death of Elisa Izquierdo - Elisa Izquierdo was born on 11 February, 1989, in Woodhull Hospital, Brooklyn, New York. Her father, Gustavo, was a Cuban immigrant while her mother, Awilda, was Puerto Rican raised in Brooklyn. Throughout the pregnancy, Awilda, a drug addict, continued to abuse drugs. As a result, Elisa was born addicted to crack cocaine. Awilda carried on this drug abuse following the birth and Gustavo, worried about the safety of their daughter, filed for full custody which was granted. Gustavo was a fantastic father that doted on his precious daughter - “She was his life. He would always say she was his princess,” a family friend went on to recall. As Elisa was in preschool, an affidavit was signed which stated that Awilda had overcome her addiction, had a permanent accommodation, and was now a married woman expecting another child. On paper, she seemed to have her life together. By 1991, Awilda was granted unsupervised visitation with her daughter, Elisa. Awilda’s two eldest children informed relatives that during these visits, Awilda would brutally beat Elisa. You would think that upon hearing this information these relatives would take that information straight to authorities. They did not. Gustavo and a number of Elia’s teachers noticed that Elisa often arrived back home from these visits bearing bruising. On one occasion, Elisa even had bruising around the genitalia. It was noticed by Gustavo that Elisa had began to wet the bed and would often be sick once returning home. Gustavo went straight to the authorities to report these findings, as did one teacher. Elisa herself even confessed to the abuse to a social worker. 

In 1992, Gustavo applied to have the visitation rights ceased; tragically, the courts denied this application and the visitations were allowed to continue. By 1993, Gustavo had purchased airplane tickets and had planned to move back to Cuba, taking Elisa with him. However, Gustavo and Elisa never made the flight - Gustavo was rushed to hospital with respiratory complications and died from lung cancer. The death of Gustavo was the nail in the coffin of Elisa escaping her abusive mother. Upon his death, Awilda filed for full custody of Elisa. She was initially granted temporary custody and upon hearing this terrifying news, Elsa Canizares, Gustavo’s cousin, also filed for custody. The head teacher of Elisa’s school and even Prince Michael of Greece, who had met Elisa in her school, wrote letters to the Judge, informing him of the torment Elisa had experienced at the hands of her own mother. Regardless of the mounting evidence as to why Awilda was not a suitable mother, in 1994, Awilda was granted full and permanent custody of Elisa: a decision that would prove to be fatal. Almost immediately, the abuse began. Elisa was taken out of her preschool and sent to a different one. Here she was reported as being withdrawn and uncommunicative. She was also reported to be riddled with bruises each week and appeared to have difficulty walking. Again, this clear evidence of abuse was reported but these reports were discarded due to apparently being “not reportable.” Enraged, Awilda withdrew Elisa from the school. Upon this withdrawal, Elisa was locked in her bedroom 24/7. She wasn’t even allowed out to use the bathroom. Neighbours often heard Elisa screaming and begging Awilda to stop. This was reported to the authorities but again, no action was taken. On 15 November, Awilda called her sister and told her that Elisa was “like retarded on the bed,” and that she had some sort of fluid leaking from her nose and mouth. The fluid was brain fluid. Elisa was left on the bed until the following day when Awilda invited a neighbour inside to view the body. The neighbour immediately called an ambulance but it was far too late - Elisa was dead. 

Awilda confessed that she had thrown Elisa head first into a concrete wall two days before the ambulance was called. She revealed that Elisa hadn’t spoken or moved since the incident. Medical examiners were horrified at the sight of little Elisa and couldn’t even begin to imagine the torture she had endured by somebody who was supposed to be her caregiver. She had numerous injuries which included broken fingers (one finger bone was even protruding through the skin), burns and cuts over her head, face, and body, and internal injuries. An autopsy also revealed that her genitalia and rectum bore signs of trauma which included tearing. It was later reported that Awilda had often sexually assaulted Elisa with a toothbrush and a hairbrush. Awilda’s husuband, Carlos Lopez, also partook. They even forced Elisa to eat her own faeces on a number of occasions. It was shown that all of the injuries had been sustained over a period of time; she had been tortured from the moment she entered the house. The abuse surrounding this case is extremely abhorrent but even more abhorrent is the fact that it was easily preventable had the authorities responded accordingly. Awilda was sentenced to 15 years to life imprisonment. Her next parole hearing is scheduled for July 2016,

That awkward moment when you realize as a result of being emotionally neglected and abused as a child you never learned how to vocalize “what’s wrong” because no one ever cared enough to ask…
Or when they did they didn’t take the time to understand, or used it against you to bully you, invalidating your experience and minimizing your feelings labeling you “too sensitive” so as an adult you keep everything inside to the detriment of your own mental health and relationships 🙃🙃🙃

Ed, Edd n Eddy are all victims of abuse

I didn’t notice it till now but when watching the show again, it’s kinda obvious. Let’s start with Ed.

Ed’s abuse seems to be more emotional abuse. His parents spoil his sister Sarah, while Ed lives in the basement. They also seem to take Sarah’s side more often. These can be signs of parental favoritism. I mean, look at Ed’s room.

now look at sarah’s:

Sarah’s room is much larger, cleaner and more comfortable than Ed’s. Sure, Ed’s a messy guy but you’d think a good parent would start showing SOME concern when their child’s room is as bad as Ed’s. 

Now to Double D. His abuse is more about neglect and lack of affection from his parents. Not only are his parents never home but they communicate through sticky notes they leave around the house. and what are on those notes?

Chores. Double D’s parents seem to treat him more like a maid that cleans the place while they’re away most of the time, instead of their son.

and finally, Eddy. His is the most obvious. 

While not a parent, Eddy has been shown to be physically and verbally abused by his older brother. This was revealed in the series finale. 

I can’t believe I actually missed this until now. 

This also shows another difference between them and the rest of the kids in the cul-de-sac.

Jimmy’s parent’s don’t seem to mind that their son has more feminine interests, buying him things like an easy bake oven and letting him have a feminine room and stuffed animals. Kevin’s dad constantly showers him in gifts. Nazz lives a carefree and happy life. Johnny’s parents seem to be tree-huggers(they have arbor day parties and bring nature inside as a christmas tradition) and don’t find it strange that their son talks to inanimate objects and Rolf has a close, very large and traditional family.

These are kids that most likely wouldn’t understand what the eds go through. That could be another reason why the eds are outcasts in the show. 

Mother Starves, Neglects Her Mentally Disabled Son For Money.

On March 20, 2013 hospital staff in Taylor, Pennsylvania were horrified when a woman and her two daughters brought in an emaciated, semi responsive man with Downs Syndrome. The mother told hospital staff that her son, Robert was suffering from a “slight cold” and requested that staff treat him for a mild case of scabies.

As soon as Susan Gensiak and her daughters left the room, ER staff called the police. Robert weighed just 69 pounds, and there were open sores all over his body that went down to the bone. His wrists and feet were swollen and his teeth were crumbling. A blood test revealed Robert was acutely dehydrated and suffering from sepsis of the skin. Hospital staff fought to save Robert from blood poisioning and starvation, but unfortunately he died a day after being admitted, without ever recovering consciousness. Police immediately dispatched a unit to the Gensiak home, where they discovered a horrible scene.

The room that Robert spent the last months of his life was squalid and stank of feces. Ropes on the bed indicated Susan Gensiak had kept her disabled son tied down, and the bed itself was covered in urine and feces. Susan admitted that she often forgot to feed Robert and complained about the cost of his medical care. She denied fatally neglecting him and asked the police if she would still recieve the $1050 monthly check for Robert’s care.

Susan Gensiak was charged with one count of grevious neglect and one count of fatal endangerment towards a child. Her two daughters recieved lesser charges of neglect. Robert’s body was cremated and his family denied access to his ashes.

It is often difficult to recognize the connection between early-life feelings of imprisonment, and our subsequent need for space and distance in our adult lives. This can be manifest in many different ways: non-committal relationships, career indecision, a perpetual need to live alone, social avoidance, perpetual mistrust of the world etc. For a time, these manifestations can actually serve a counter-balancing purpose, as our spirits breathe a healthy sigh of relief after years entrapped. If all you know is engulfment, it is essential that you have a taste of safety and spaciousness. But, taken too far, our escape hatches can actually become a prison of their own, one that deepens our isolation and prevents us from forming positive associations with the world. Any imbalanced reality has an imprisoning quality. Just because our early-life environment felt like a prison doesn’t mean that we can’t create a different reality-one that is rooted in healthy connectiveness.
—  Jeff Brown
2

In 2008, 11-year-old Hana Grace-Rose Williams, from Ethiopia, was adopted by Carri and Larry Williams, a couple from Sedro-Woolley, in Washington. The couple purchased a book called “To Train Up a Child” by Michael Pearl and Debi Pearl. This book literally encourages child abuse, telling parents to withhold food, to spank children with plastic tubes, to give children freezing cold baths, and to put them outside in bad weather as punishment, all of which Carri and Larry did to Hana before she sadly perished on 11 May, 2011.

Hana was discovered naked and face down in their garden. She was severely malnourished and had her head recently shaved. Her tiny body was riddled with contusions, bruises, and scars. The couple had another adoptive son from Ethiopia, Immanuel, who told authorities that the rest of the family, including the couple’s 7 other biological children, had watched and laughed as Hana had stumbled and fallen around the garden before falling over for one last time and not getting back up. She had been outside in the cold for at least 8 hours and at one point, Carri had sent two of her sons outside to whip her with a plastic tube.

Hana was pronounced dead at the hospital and the cause of death was hypothermia compounded by malnutrition and gastritis. An investigation uncovered that Hana had been abused from the day she was adopted. She was regularly beaten and locked inside a closet. She was also denied food, clothing, and was forced to sleep outside and shower with the garden hose. Carri, who was said to be the mastermind behind the abuse, was sentenced to 37 years while Larry was sentenced to 28. They were also found guilty of assaulting Immanuel, their other adoptive child.

Traits of Narcissistic Mothers: Deniability

Everything [the narcissistic mother] does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn’t live through her abuse would never believe the connection.

Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word.

She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or they way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her.

She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene
will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public.

She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ("I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)

A little head canon of mine for Saeran. Had this stuck in my mind, so I will do the rest of the asks later. ;u;

So, have you ever wondered why a cute little blob turned into this guy with an edgy look? I mean, he looked so cute and pure before, and now he wears all  red with black leather lol

Honestly, I wonder why Rika allowed him to dress like this. I mean, judging by the threads she was wearing in Secret 1, the uniform should be something like robes or whatnot, but here Saeran is, being all different.

So there are two reasons I thought up for him changing his attire so drastically:

1. So he wouldn’t be underestimated anymore.

Saeran is a precious smol child who grew up sickly, neglected and malnourished. With his “special treatment” and all by Rika, I’m sure there must’ve been some scuffles with the members of Mint Eye before.

So, Saeran changing his appearance is like making yourself look bigger when you’re facing against a mountain lion.

2. He’s chuunibyou (his dark past).

If you don’t know what chuunibyou is, look it up lol

I recall the part where Saeyoung reads Saeran a story, and it’s about a dark lord who gives up his magic to become human again to be with the girl he loves. But then Saeran says he’d rather be the dark lord with magic, able to do whatever he wanted.

I mean, his entire design just screams out chuunibyou to me lolololol

- White hair with pink highlights
- Colored contacts, but if he slips one of them off he’ll have dual colored eyes lolol
- He wears a mask that covers the bottom half of his face and changes his voice (how though?)
- He has a black leather choker
- He wears those leather bracelets with spikes (which I imagine would be very clunky and get in the way while hacking, so idk why he even has them lolololol)
- He slips off his coat halfway off his shoulder, JUST so people can see his cool tattoo
- His tattoo is highly stylized and looks like it could be some sort of magic seal like the ones we always see in anime lololol
- His lines are practically all delusional when he is the villain, and he believes he is working for something greater with a giant ambition etc etc etc

So my conclusion is that Mint Eye Saeran is a chuunibyo lololololol (I mean, even the age would fit, since Saeran was taken when he was around 15 and would be in middle school normally at that age)

Since he rarely changes throughout the game, he must’ve really liked those clothes lol I would’ve drawn fire around his hand or something but I can’t make it look good so I gave up lolol 

Ah, this is dragging on. I’ll stop it here.

More Snily Headcanons

Lily’s not shy about being affectionate with Sev—liberally, genuinely, and spontaneously—and she’s perhaps the one person who’s allowed to be.

Snape can hotwire a car.

A mouse once escaped Lily’s bag and ran into Petunia’s room—the screams could be heard all the way to Spinner’s.

Snape never told Lily how he was treated at home; it was bad enough she saw what happened at school.

Lily was so delighted when she first opened a chocolate frog, Sev couldn’t help watching her with a smile.

Snape taught Lily how to play Gobstones, and even gave her tips—such as how to get the least bit of goo after a loss.

In contrast, Lily taught Sev how to play most Muggle games, such as “Hide and Seek” (which for some reason frightened him almost humorously at first—seems he thought she was making it up to get away from him).

While Snape visited Lily quite frequently, he never let her come to his house—not once.

One of Lily’s favorite places was the Astronomy Tower, and she’d stargaze whenever possible; Sev was invited more than once.

Snape knew things most—Wizard or Muggle—did not at age 9: where to get bootleg booze and cigarettes, what places held underground cock fights, and how much Amaranth was necessary to distract angry fathers.

Lily knew how to bake cookies by 9 and would often invite Sev over to try some, or bring them to share.

15-year-old Snape once overheard Regulus Black voice his impressed opinion with his skills to one Barty Crouch Jr. Apparently, “He can do incredible things, and he’s only a half-blood!”

Lily’s backyard had a huge flower garden, where she and Sev would share Butterbeer, biscuits, and tales of Merlin (a Slytherin) on lazy afternoons.

Both have the same favorite color: green.

Shou Headcanons with a side of Angst

okokok, i wasnt going to do any angst hcs until i finished m series, but…… that anon brought it on. this is dedicated to u dear


  • His house is always very very messy
    • his stuff is laying all over the place; the kitchen counters are covered in half finshed drawings, there’s pencil crayons randomly in ever corner of every room, jackets socks and shirt are everywhere
      • its not because he cant be bothered to clean, he just hates it when its clean
      • the house doesnt looked ‘lived in’ when its tidy and it bothers him so much
  • his mother doesnt want anything to do with psychic powers and supernatural stuff, distancing herself from it
    • this unfortunately included distancing herself from Shou
      • she does call as often as she can, makes sure to always visit. but his powers are a part of Shou. He can’t just turn them off and forget about them like she wishes he could
  • once went on an exorcism trip with Reigen and Mob
    • mob wouldnt stop going on about how it was Reigen’s way of teaching him how to use/control his powers and Shou wanted to see if it was anything like how his dad made him train
      • shou would claim he was bored, but really he wanted to see if it was anything like how his father would make him train his powers
    • “so what else do you guys do? just exorcising ghosts? Why was it so quick? are we going to do more training after this, or no? I mean, shouldn’t training be a whole day kind of thing?…. we’re going for supper now? holy shit we get to eat?? Okay okay, but, what about punishment? What kind of stuff do you have to do if you take too long, Mob?”
  • one time, a bit after he started sneaking into the Office to sleep on Reigen’s couch, he accidentally called Reigen ‘dad’
    • as soon as he said it, he froze in place. Hiss face went white, eyes wide. He was shaking so bad, breathing heavy
    • he wouldn’t stop staring at the floor, was unresponsive for ten minutes at the least
      • when he came to, there was a blanket over his shoulders, a glass of chocolate milk (that Reigen had specially for mob) in his hands. Reigen was nowhere to be seen
    • after that he didnt sleep on reigen’s couch or show up at the office for about a week. it was never mentioned again afterwards
  • Shou’s parents split up when he was fairly young, but even before then his mother was very depressed
    • Shou thought that this was somehow his doing.
      • the divorce basically cemented that idea in his mind. He though that he was the reason his parents didn’t want to be together anymore
    • he somewhat grew out of this ideology, but still blames himself for how his mother views psychics
  • after his father gets locked away in jail, Shou instead is the one that avoids contact with his mother
    • he still thinks that he was the reason for her being depressed, so he limits how much he talks to her to avoid making her fearful/uncomfortable. Afterall, she was afraid of the supernatural, so of course she’d be afraid of Shou, right?