child mummy

Things nobody tells you about raising a toddler

- you desperately try to keep them safe whilst they are on a one person mission to cause themselves injury as frequently as possible

- their first words will inevitably end up being “no” “shit” or “oh god” which is not exactly what you expected to write in the baby book

- changing nappies becomes VERY VERY difficult. They do not want you to change their diaper. They don’t want their diaper on. They also don’t want it off. They do want to put their hands in poop and smear it on the wall/your face/the cat

- they will say “no” ALL THE TIME

- toddlers suddenly obsess over certain toys or books. If their obsession is the latter, you will read the same book OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will want to burn said book; but can’t as toddler would be distraught. 

- they will fall over. A lot.

- they will bang into things. A lot. 

-they will be frequently bruised, scratched or marked. You will feel guilty about it. blame Daddy.

-sleeping times and schedules are so much harder - now they can stand up, move around, try to climb out of the crib, shout into the baby monitor, remove their bedding and throw it out of the cot, etc, etc

-things start to become very dramatic. Simple tasks, like putting the toddler in a car seat are MELTDOWN worthy, they will arch their backs, contorting in a way you didn’t think possible, scream (so loudly that the neighbours peer out of their windows wondering who is being murdered), cry and make things basically as difficult as possible

-your toddler will embarrass you often. Whether it is shouting, throwing food (bonus points for toddler if it hits the elderly lady on the next table), screaming (in places like the Doctor’s Surgery or Library) or throwing themselves on the floor because you won’t let them play with scissors. Try to remember that most people have been in this position before; if they look judgy its probably because they’ve tried to block out the toddler period from their memory and can’t remember the trauma, don’t worry Momma, you’re doing great. 

-everything takes a very long time. Nappy changing, dressing (a fun game is when Mummy puts a sock on and toddler takes the sock back off - repeat until mummy cries in the corner), shoes on, coat on, coat off, coat on, changing bag packed (toddler will kindly unpack things she or he doesn’t think you need; and will obviously be a disaster when you realise you don’t have nappies/wipes/bottles with you). 

-Walking. Toddler now does not want to be in a pushchair. The pushchair is the root of all evil and according to toddler should be treated as such (kicking, screaming, crying, body flailing are all vital in avoiding the pushchair). They have discovered that their little feet will take them where they want to go. Unfortunately - where they want to go; and you need to go are very different places. Important destinations for toddler result in picking up tiny stones, leaves, cigarette butts and putting them in their mouth. Other important places to explore are the busy road, shop doors and in particular the opposite direction to you. 

-Toddlers though suddenly have this incredible and overwhelming love for you. Their beautiful faces light up as they see you, their chubby arms reaching to cuddle into you. They cry when you leave the room. The love you receive from your toddler is unlike anything else and is such an exciting (and exhausting) time in their life. Enjoy the ride.

The tag seems to be an overwhelming spiel of negativity, so…

1. I love Nick Morton and I can’t wait to see where they take his character

2. Sofia Boutella was an absolutely fantastic villain and I am so freaking glad they cast her in the part

3. Russell Crowe’s Dr. Jekyll (and Mr. Hyde) are terrifying and kind of awesome and we didn’t get enough

4. I need all the moral conflict and the debate about what makes a monster and what makes a man!

Please, if you loved this movie too, come talk to me. 

nature.com
Mummy DNA unravels ancient Egyptians’ ancestry
Genetic analysis reveals a close relationship with Middle Easterners, not central Africans.

“The tombs of ancient Egypt have yielded golden collars and ivory bracelets, but another treasure — human DNA — has proved elusive. Now, scientists have captured sweeping genomic information from Egyptian mummies. It reveals that mummies were closely related to ancient Middle Easterners, hinting that northern Africans might have different genetic roots from people south of the Sahara desert.

The study, published on 30 May in Nature Communications1, includes data from 90 mummies buried between 1380 bc, during Egypt’s New Kingdom, and ad 425, in the Roman era. The findings show that the mummies’ closest kin were ancient farmers from a region that includes present-day Israel and Jordan. Modern Egyptians, by contrast, have inherited more of their DNA from central Africans.

Archaeological discoveries and historical documents suggest close ties between Egypt and the Middle East, but “it is very nice that this study has now provided empirical evidence for this at the genetic level”, says evolutionary anthropologist Omer Gokcumen of the State University of New York at Buffalo.

The scientists obtained information about variations in mitochondrial DNA, which is passed from mother to child, from 90 mummies. Because of contamination, the team was able to acquire detailed nuclear DNA, which is inherited from both parents, from only three mummies.

Both types of genomic material showed that ancient Egyptians shared little DNA with modern sub-Saharan Africans. Instead, their closest relatives were people living during the Neolithic and Bronze ages in an area known as the Levant. Strikingly, the mummies were more closely related to ancient Europeans and Anatolians than to modern Egyptians.


Well this is fascinating

7

Warning: this is an incredibly dark but biologically and historically accurate theory on Chara.

Chara’s ghostly visage is what their mummified body looks like. We don’t know the exact amount of time between their death and when Toriel left with their body, but it was likely between a week to a year based on the gestation period of flower seeds in moist soil. Perhaps Asgore did not water the garden while depressed and the seed did not germinate for a year.

Due to the catacomb storage area and bandages the method of mummification was likely desiccation or some sort of embalming. Usually Ancient Egyptians would remove most internal organs, except the heart as it was believed to be the center of being and intelligence and free will. To make up for the pale discolored skin, embalmers will usually use red pigments and other cosmetics on the cheeks to make them looks blushed and alive again, but due to the change of the skin color over time, the fake pink cheeks become apparent after a few hours after they were originally applied. Given how Toriel calls the ruins “the catacombs” in her first dialogue, the monsters know about mummification and usage of dry sealed underground stone catacombs.

When humans are mummified via desiccation or embalming there are certain processes that happen. The eyes dehydrate quickly if not sealed closed, they actually sink in as the eyeball shrivels up or liquifies and drains into the skull through the hole the optic nerve goes through. Eyes are sometimes replaced with obsidian or other stone fake eyeballs. When the head is moved, the putrefied fluids from the decayed brain and eyes leak out of the eye sockets and mouth, a black/brown liquid.

The second thing that happens is the skin dries around the mouth, and the gums recede, and the jaw muscles lose elasticity and the tongue swells, resulting in many dead having their mouths open wide days after death,with a toothy “laugh of death” stuck on their face. The gas escaping from the mouth and the rupturing of internal organ membranes could result in sounds and the mouth appearing to move and shudder from the sudden pressure released ,which made many believe that they were laughing and not truly dead. This phenomenon is a source for many monster myths.

Toriel removed Chara’s body from the stone coffin/sarcophagus and unwrapped the bandages, we know this, and we also know that Chara in some way experienced being inside that coffin with their body, judging by their comment “it’s about as comfortable as it looks”.

My theory is that when Toriel unwrapped and took out Chara’s body, the release of binding pressure on the abdomen, opening of the airway, and gravity affecting the fluids as the head was tilted upwards, resulted in the horrible vision we see.

Toriel removed the linen from her sweet misguided child, and saw Chara with unnatural pink cheeks and pale skin, with giant sunken gaping empty rotting eye sockets, their mouth open in a horrible grin, and with a blast of putrid breath, “laughed” at her, the deteriorated jaw muscles allowing the mouth to open wider, the dark brown foul “tears” flowing from their eye sockets and mouth as the brain case and sinuses finally emptied.

Mummies quickly deteriorate in moisture, rotting much faster, often falling apart. Toriel carried the body throughout all of the underworld, through the heat of Hotland, through the rain and fungi of Waterfall, through the freezing cold of Snowdin, back to the ruins, back to where Chara first fell down. Toriel shut the ruins off, buried Chara in the spot they fell down on, and planted a golden flower bed with the seeds that had been stuck to their body when they were laid down on the flower bed in their home village. We find the dry seeds in the drawer in old home in the ruins. This is the flowers Frisk lands on and the same flowers Toriel and Asriel tend to.

No doubt this ordeal gave Toriel nightmares. Chara is mentioned as making a “scary face” by Asriel in a old VHS tape. Sans, Flowey and Monster Kid all mention Frisk making a scary face when Chara is in control.
Ironically even in death Chara made that scary face,and they continue to make that scary face when controlling Frisk, and eventually, if you don’t do as Chara tells you to, you get to see their greatest scary face, the laugh of the dead, the rancid, rotten, putrid, horrifying, gut-wrenching decayed visage of a body as corrupted by death as their soul was corrupted by hatred. The face Toriel sees at night. The face she never wants to see on another dead child. The face she recognizes on this new child as they watch her die from their single malice filled slash.

That is the true face of Chara.

Masterlist

 5SOS MASTERLIST

SERIES: 

- Wedding Series

- Pregnancy Series

- Chance Meetings

- Heart Strings

Requests: 

I’ll Always Save You (Harry Styles/Vampire Diaries crossover

You’re a Ghost Hunter (Harry)

PREFERENCES:

#1 How You Meet

#2 He Hears You Singing One of His Songs

#3 You Cheat with Him 

#4 He Finds Out a Secret from Your Past

#5 He’s Sick 

#6 The Other Boys Don’t Like You 

#7 You Pass Out

#8 He Finds Out You Have OCD

#9 He Tweets You A Photo

#10 You Have Anxiety / Panic Attack

#11 Another Boy Tweets A Photo Of You

#12 You’re Younger Than Him

#13 Big & Little Spoon

#14 Something Of His That You Always Steal

#15 You’re His Celebrity Crush

#16 He Gets Jealous

#17 Baby Falls Asleep On Him

#18 His Child Calls You Mummy

#19 Pet You Get Together

#20 Another Boy Tweets A Photo Of Your Child

#21 You Dated Another Member Before Him

#22 Love Bites

#23 Past Abuse

#24 Daddy Son Moment 

#25 He Falls Asleep On You

#26 He Forgets Your Anniversary

#27 You Cheat On Him With Another Member

#28 You Fight And Break Up

#29 Daddy Daughter Moment

#30 You Get Hurt

#31 You Get Hate

#32 You See Him Cry for the First Time

#33 He Comforts You After a Loss

10 things your Mummy never told you ...

1. You made her cry… a lot. She cried when she found out she was pregnant. She cried as she gave birth to you. She cried when she first held you. She cried with happiness. She cried with fear. She cried with worry. She cried because she feels so deeply for you. She felt your pain and your happiness and she shared it with you, whether you realized it or not.

2. She wanted that last piece of pie. But when she saw you look at it with those big eyes and lick your mouth with that tiny tongue, she couldn’t eat it. She knew it would make her much happier to see your little tummy be filled than hers.

3. It hurt. When you pulled her hair, it hurt; when you grabbed her with those sharp fingernails that were impossible to cut, it hurt; when you bit her while drinking milk, that hurt, too. You bruised her ribs when you kicked her from her belly; you stretched her stomach out for nine months; you made her body contract in agonizing pain as you entered this world.

4. She was always afraid. From the moment you were conceived, she did all in her power to protect you. She became your mama bear. She was that lady who wanted to say no when the little girl next door asked to hold you, and who cringed when she did, because in her mind no one could keep you as safe as she herself could. Her heart skipped two beats with your first steps. She stayed up late to make sure you got home safe, and woke up early to see you off to school. With every stubbed toe and little stumble, she was close by; she was ready to snatch you up with every bad dream or late night fever. She was there to make sure you were OK.

5. She knows she’s not perfect. She is her own worst critic. She knows all her flaws and sometimes hates herself for them. She is hardest on herself when it comes to you, though. She wanted to be the perfect mom, to do nothing wrong – but because she is human, she made mistakes. She is probably still trying to forgive herself for them. She wishes with her whole heart that she could go back in time and do things differently, but she can’t, so be kind to her, and know she did the best she knew how to do.

6. She watched you as you slept. There were nights when she was up ‘til 3:00 a.m. praying that you would finally fall asleep. She could hardly keep her eyes open as she sang to you, and she would beg you to “please, please fall asleep.” Then, when you finally fell asleep, she would lay you down and all her tiredness would disappear for a short second as she sat by your bedside looking down at your perfect cherub face, experiencing more love than she knew was possible, despite her worn-out arms and aching eyes.

7. She carried you a lot longer than nine months. You needed her to. So she did. She would learn to hold you while she cleaned; she would learn to hold you while she ate; she would even hold you while she slept, because it was the only way she could sometimes. Her arms would get tired, her back would hurt, but she held you still because you wanted to be close to her. She snuggled you, loved you, kissed you and played with you. You felt safe in her arms; you were happy in her arms; you knew you were loved in her arms, so she held you, as often and as long as you needed.

8. It broke her heart every time you cried. There was no sound as sad as your cries, or sight as horrible as the tears streaming down your perfect face. She did all in her power to stop you from crying, and when she couldn’t stop your tears, her heart would shatter into a million little pieces.

9. She put you first. She went without food, without showers and without sleep. She always put your needs before her own. She would spend all day meeting your needs, and by the end of the day, she would have no energy left for herself. But the next day, she would wake up and do it all over again, because you meant that much to her.

10. She would do it all again. Being a mum is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and it will take you to your very limits sometimes. You cry, you hurt, you try, you fail, you work and you learn. But, you also experience more joy that you thought was possible and feel more love than your heart can contain. Despite all the pain, grief, late nights and early mornings you put your mum through, she would do it all again for you because you are worth it to her. So, next time you see her, tell your mum thank you; let her know that you love her. She can never hear it too many times.

{Reaction} EXO's child walking in on them talking about sex

(Reaction) EXO is babysitting their kids and they over hear their dad talking about sex with their mom (reader) to the fellow members {pretty please.}

Note: Ahh this was very fun! I hope you enjoy~ Fighting! Admin Mami x

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/ images used.

Main Masterlist - EXO Masterlist

Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by sehunniez

Chanyeol spoke proudly to Kyungsoo in the kitchen about your previous night. His eyes glinted with mischief as he lead against the counter while Kyungsoo moved around the kitchen, cooking up some dinner for Chanyeol,  your daughter and himself. But what the pair weren’t aware of, was the small girl stood in the doorway, listening to the tail end of the conversation.

Chanyeol: “Hopefully she’ll be pregnant again, I’ve wanted another one since {child’s name} was born-”

{Child}: “So that’s what you were giggling about this morning! Mummy is going to have another baby? Isn’t that when you share a toothbrush and then a baby goes in your tummy? I’m never sharing mine, ever!”

Chanyeol: “Uh yeah… That’s how it works, sweetheart.” *nervously fidgeting as Kyungsoo smirks to his expense, Chanyeol heard Kyungsoo mutter a small “karma” as the noodles began to boil.*


Do Kyungsoo/ D.O.

Originally posted by jonginssoo

Kyungsoo usually doesn’t talk about this kind of thing with his friends, but on the rare occasion that the topic was brought up, he decided to talk through it with one of his trusty friends, Kai. The two of them talked of their own experiences, until they heard a voice coming in the room.

Kai: “Sounds like you had fun last night”

{Child}: “Yes they did, they were bouncing on the bed or something. I could hear it from my bedroom.”

Kyungsoo: *Scarred for life and will probably never talk about sex again unless he knows no children are around to hear about it.*


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by yixingofficial

Like Chanyeol, his night had been one that he was hoping for another child. He talked about it proudly with Minseok as the child stepped inside, he started to blush as his child started to question him on the topic.

{Child}: “So you were making a baby? How do you make a baby?”

Baekhyun: “Well… you need some… ingredients.”

{Child}: “Ingredients? Like vitamin D?”

Baekhyun: “Yeah, pretty much.”


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by damnitsehun

Sehun grinned as he talked to his band members about yours and his previous night, he grinned accentuating how amazing it was when he saw his child walk inside and stopped immediately, but apparently he hadn’t been quick enough to shut up, because the child sat down and looked at him with those innocent, wondering eyes.

Sehun: “It was just so good.”

{Child}: “Daddy what’s good?”

Your child would be the biggest meme, just like their father oml


Zhang Yixing/ Lay

Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Yixing explained to Baekhyun about your night alone. Your child had been staying with Baekhyun for the night as this had been planned since you were both hoping for another child. But Yixing obviously hadn’t been as quiet as he thought he had been, though it was a good thing the child had an imaginative mind.

{Child}: “Daddy I can’t believe you wrestled Mummy! I hope you have her a plaster if you hurt her.”


Kim Jongdae/ Chen

Originally posted by jikain

Jongdae cringed as he heard his daughter enter the room as he slipped that you may or may not be having a baby to one of his friends and that he’d really made sure he gave you his all. Literally.

Jongdae: “It’s not something you have to worry about baby-”

“But how does the baby get in there? I thought they were brought by Leprechauns.”


Kim Minseok/ Xiumin

Originally posted by secrethideoutme

Yours and Minseok’s child is a little older, and is old enough to realise that your significant other is talking about his sex life with his friends when they enter the room, looking appalled.

“Dad! I can’t believe you - you’re so old! I- My friends better not hear about this! I never want to hear about this again!”


Huang Zitao/ Tao

Originally posted by zitao-vevo

Tao doesn’t have much awareness, so when he starts talking to Kris about your sex life, he doesn’t even consider that your young child might come into the room at any given moment. But of course, karma isn’t far behind, and it strikes in one of the worst possible times.

{Child}: “Daddy what’s a dildo?”

Tao: “How about I let Uncle Kris explain that to you while I go and get some tea.” *Dashes out the room.”

Kris: “Oi!”


Kim Junmyeon/ Suho

Originally posted by oh-prankster

Junmyeon stopped talking as your child came and sat in the room with her notepad and pens. She was drawing something, and Junmyeon exchanged relieved glances with Yixing as he thought you may have overheard what you were saying. The child looked up, they may not have heard the conversation, but they did hear something the night before.

{Child}: “Daddy, why does Mummy call you Daddy too?”

Suho: “I-… Well-… oh honey that’s a lovely picture, what is it?” *Nervous as Yixing is giggling in the background*


Lu Han

Originally posted by harlysquad

Luhan chuckled, explaining that he and you may have been a little too loud a couple of nights ago while getting frisky in the bedroom to Sehun. He thought he had got away with it, your child hadn’t mentioned anything about it. But of course, that silence was never going to last.

{Child}: “I know why Mummy and Daddy were making strange noises, it’s because they were sad because it’s Friday the thirteenth and that’s unlucky”

Luhan: “There’s nothing unlucky about Friday the thirteenth,baby, it’s just a silly superstition”

{Child}: “Really? Because I heard Mummy being sick in the toilet this morning, isn’t that unlucky?”

Luhan: *Makes a mental note to buy a pregnancy test*


Kim Jongin/ Kai

Originally posted by kaibility

Jongin talked with Chanyeol about the night you had spent together loudly in the living room, his eyes glinting as he mentioned that you may finally be pregnant again. But as Chanyeol was in the middle of congratulating him, a small voice entered the room, making Kai’s cheeks flush with embarrassment.

{Child}: “Why are there things that women can do that men can’t? Like, Mummy is probably going to have a baby since I just heard you talking, but why can’t men have babies?”

Kai: “Well…. I- uh”

{Child}: “Because I’d rather be able to grow a mustache or a beard than have a baby. Besides, you can remove a mustache, you can’t remove a baby”

Kai: “Trust me honey, it’s tempting.”


Wu Yifan/ Kris

Originally posted by holymotherlandkorea

Yifan had to explain to his child that you and him were “playing games” in the bed last night, like twister and bouncy castles, just so they didn’t know the truth behind those bed squeaking noises and the sounds of both of you in unimaginable pleasure. He fiddles with his hands, hoping his child believed his story.

{Child}: “So that’s what you were doing last night. I knew you were doing something in bed. But why wasn’t I invited? I like playing games too.”

Kris: “It’s a special game honey… I also need to make a mental note to sound proof these rooms.”