child birth

anonymous asked:

Hi, I know little about being a military man so I was wondering if it's possible for a father to stay and raise his children at home but still be considered a soldier (as in can still be called for duty) or does he have to resign if he's going to stay at home?

Hi!

The rules concerning fathers are pretty much the same as mothers, aside from the initial period after the child’s birth. If an active duty soldier is a parent, they’re still expected to attend morning PT and have a normal work day, meaning their work day will probably last around twelve hours. They’re also still expected to be deployable and participate in field exercises that last days or weeks. They’d have to employ babysitters and/or nannies, or rely on a family member to watch the child. The army does offer some childcare services on post. 

If this is unacceptable, then the soldier can attempt to be moved to either the Army Reserves or the National Guard, but it wouldn’t be easy. You’d have to have completed your contract/obligatory service, and you’d have to be in an MOS that has demand in those components. I’m not sure how difficult it is to go from active duty to another component tbh. I’m inclined to think it’s rather difficult because I’ve never actually heard of anyone doing it. 

The army does not allow single parents to join unless they relinquish child custody, but if the soldier recently became a single parent, they can try to apply for a hardship discharge or something like that. However, “resigning” from the army is not that easy. By serving, whether commissioned or enlisted, you’ve signed a contract with the federal government, and they’re loath to break that contract, at least not without penalty. Especially if the soldier has a spouse, the army sees no reason you can’t fulfill a normal workday. It would probably be a lot easier to just have the soldier serve out the rest of their contract, least of all because the army will be giving free healthcare to a very expensive time in the child’s life, especially if there’s only two or three years left on the soldier’s contract. 

Worst case scenario, the soldier can purposely fail weight or PT and then be chaptered for these things. It should result in an honorable discharge, and as long as you’ve served I think…24 months…? you still have access to the VA and your GI Bill. Although if the character is “purposely” failing their PT test, they better at least pretend to be trying really hard, because that’s the sort of thing that’ll really piss someone off.

-Kingsley

Things nobody tells you about going into labour

•you’ll spend the whole of the last 8 weeks of pregnancy googling what labour feels like/how to tell if your in labour

•you’ll start to get excited every time you get Braxton hicks that ‘it’ is finally starting

•you’ll look for every sign of labour constantly: diarrhoea? might be labour soon. braxton hicks? might go into labour soon. feeling sick? maybe you’ll go into labour soon. feeling tired? it must be labour soon

•you will be SO pleased to see your mucous plug, you might even want to show it off (it’s really exciting ok?!)

•it won’t be like the movies, it’s really quite messy and long

•you might think when your waters did go that you just peed yourself (again)

•at the start of labour (finally) you will feel super confident, it’s not that painful, you got this girl!

•then you’ll have an 'oh shit’ moment of realisation that actually this is really painful and holy shit you are never ever going to do this again

•you might make sex noises whilst contracting

•you won’t find it remotely funny when your partner points that out (& then later tells his mum about it)

•you’ll throw up that sandwich that you happily ate (when you were going through your “I got this” stage)

•you’ll be convinced that you must be at least 9cm dilated when in fact you are only just 3cm dilated

•the best made plans for your labour will go out of the window. no pain relief? pass me the gas & air, pethadine and epidural - NOW

•you won’t use half of all of the stuff you meticulously packed in your hospital bag

•you’ll still panic throughout labour wondering what your vagina is going to look like afterwards

•you will not give one tiny crap who sees your vagina

•you will want to send a thank you card to the person who invented the epidural

•you might hallucinate/see three kittens running around the delivery suite

•you will look forward to getting through labour so you can soon, finally, lay on your front again to sleep

•you will be absolutely knackered

•you’re going to be absolutely knackered for the next 18 years

•labour might not end in a straight forward vaginal birth - you might have to be assisted or have a Caesarian - remember that this is OK - you have done so well, be proud of yourself and don’t beat yourself up in any way

•remember the placenta needs to exit your body too

•remember to pack and wear very BIG knickers that you can throw away (you will bleed afterwards. a lot.)

•clots. They are normal, but if you are worried, ask for advice.

•you will feel like you have been hit by a truck for a while. You just pushed a half stone baby out your vagina - some may say it would be preferable to be hit by a truck

But oh my gosh, when that baby is placed on to your chest, you hear his or her little scream and marvel at the beautiful life you have created, every single thing, every hardship you faced is utterly forgotten and completely worth it.

Heqet Aesthetic

To the Egyptians, the frog was a symbol of life and fertility, since millions of them were born after the annual inundation of the Nile, which brought fertility to the otherwise barren lands. Consequently, in Egyptian mythology, there began to be a frog-goddess, who represented fertility, referred to by Egyptologists as Heqet. She was often referred to as the wife of Khnum. As a fertility goddess, associated explicitly with the last stages of the flooding of the Nile, and so with the germination of corn, she was associated with the final stages of childbirth. This association, which appears to have arisen during the Middle Kingdom, gained her the title ‘She who hastens the birth’. Some say that—even though no ancient Egyptian term for “midwife” is known for certain—midwives often called themselves the Servants of Heqet, and that her priestesses were trained in midwifery. Women often wore amulets of her during childbirth, which depicted Heqet as a frog, sitting in a lotus.

A miscarriage is a natural and common event.  All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven’t.  Most don’t mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn’t happened, so people imagine that a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. 

But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now?  And she’ll know.

—  Barbara Kingsolver
2

“You know, you don’t get to decide what I am.”

Sarah // my favourite new character from Season 2 of The Man in the High Castle (I love her and am always here for more badass resistance ladies! \o/)

Don’t ever bash a girl for getting pregnant as a teen. No one plans to get pregnant. While it may not be an ideal lifestyle, it’s not your life. So don’t you ever treat them like shit because they are probably already a better human being than you will ever be. I speak from experience.

So I work for my local Child Protective Services...

And everyone’s response is the same when they hear this: sympathy, they could never do my job, ouch, etc. Very appropriate responses, but all of these are typically in regards to the families I work with.

I will be honest: many of the parents I encounter should never have been parents. Ever. Many should not even be trusted with a cactus, nonetheless another living being. However, most of my families AREN’T like this, and the ones which are like this I tend to give some slack, even as I’m working like hell to keep their kids safe. Many of them have severe mental health issues, and many have been told, despite not having a parenting bone in their body, that they SHOULD be parents and they needed to grow up and BE parents, without ever acknowledging that parenting is completely beyond their abilities.

Which brings me to the frustrating portion of the job: people who SHOULD know better and yet don’t. 

These are the supposedly mentally healthy, educated, intelligent beings who return to the children to the parents against all evidence pointing out how terribly this will end. These are the people who struggle to provide evidence against the parents in court because they want to be liked and they don’t want to bad talk the parents. These are the people who close their eyes against warning sign after warning sign because despite multiple HORRIFIC failures, they want to give these parents a chance, because they’re sure that these parents love their children and want the best for them…deep down. Really deep down.

There is a view on what parenting is supposed to be and what the relationship between parents and their children are supposed to be and don’t get me started on the myths regarding maternal instincts. It’s easy to get wrapped up in ideals and ignore the blatant evidence right in front of them, and the result is too many children being endangered…and in some cases, depending on the children, people AROUND the children being endangered.

I had one adoptive parent, who was related to the father, be so upset because the father couldn’t “man up” and take responsibility because he was signing away his rights to the child. I had to convince her that he WAS fulfilling his responsibility: by recognizing that he could not possibly parent the child and was allowing the child to grow up in a good home.

I’m childfree, and I’ve heard multiple times that I should have kids and I would be such a good mother and blahblahblah. Being childfree has given me a perspective a lot of people around me don’t have. These people believe that everyone should have children and everyone has the instinct to love, protect, and nurture those children. This can lead to actively dangerous situations for the children, and even when the parent states that they can’t do it, that they hate the child, that they want someone else to have the child, I still hear judges and counselors and service providers insisting that if the parent just had a LITTLE MORE HELP…

So, no. It’s typically not the parents which make my job so hard. It’s the people who should know better and get confused when everything goes to hell.

Story Shard 642

Before you were born, a super villain accidentally on purpose saved your mother and since then has been keeping an eye on her and you once you were born. As you’ve grown up, the villain has constantly claimed you as their child–ignoring the fact that you really aren’t– and never saying the same answer twice when asked why they rescued your mother.

I’ve been playing Kingdom Hearts 2.8 this week and I’ve missed Ven so much. 

I love all the characters in this game but Ven is my favorite.

Watch on ice-cream-beat.tumblr.com

me every five seconds in BBS tbh