See this kawaii ass shit? I could say that I am honored to be her boyfriend, but honored would be an understatement. Though to try and sum it up: I am a very lucky man to have this cutie in my life. Though in other news, if you are interested in kawaii~ blogs, you should follow her: chiizumoo :D

Update: Long Time No See

“… a hyperactivation of the sympathetic nervous system (part of the autonomic nervous system that keeps the body in equilibrium) causing extreme vasoconstriction. In other words, the blood vessels of the hands or feet overreact to cold stimulus and momentarily collapse”

I can’t remember the last time I actually posted. But to those still out there, or anyone that cares at all to read, here’s an update for you. Starting my second year of college, I managed to finish my general ed and soon be going into the nursing program. At school i study at the library for about 3 extra hours and finish whatever has to be done. Oh, and I finally got a job and I’m starting to feel much more independent lately. My manager said I’m a quick learner and a lot of my coworkers have been saying a lot of great things about me. It’s been nice. I actually like working. And I’m not the sad little girl who was always confused anymore. I feel like ive been at the right pace. I have been doing what I love and have been learning everyday. Did you know ive also been studying Buddhism? I’ve been in such peace. I also learned how to ride a bike…man, I have just been so happy…

However, this year I was also diagnosed with raynaud’s disease. My small arteries thin out and my blood vessels shut down meaning I’m sensitive to the cold. My blood circulation cuts off and my feet and hands get numb, turning to a stark white color, to purple, and to a painful red throbbing. I have medication I take everyday, I’m sensitive to the sun, I can’t eat all kinds of food and I’m weak all the time. In 80 degree weather im wearing gloves out and a thick coat. Its kinda funny when people stare at me all funny.

It’s benign, but it’s mostly linked to an autoimmune disease which means my immune system will start attacking itself. Theres all kinds of autoimmune diseases, such as lupus. Only time will tell. Knowing that autoimmune diseases are on the top ten causes of deaths for women doesn’t help either. I haven’t been able to work because I recently got a fever. I feel so weak. One day my brain, or my skin, or my joints or my organs will be greatly be affected. And I think I might have restless leg syndrome too. It’s also a neurotic disorder. I can’t sleep. My legs hurt and I can’t stop wanting to toss my legs around. I’m kind of getting sad again.. Everything is so painful. I just wanted to write my thoughts or maybe I’m loosing my mind. Who knows if I’ll ever write again.

I’ve been in bed for the past few days. I can’t help but wonder..

But I promise I won’t let this stop me. I’m going to go as far as I can.