chickpea puree

Seventeen Reactions ~ One Of The Members Walking In While They’re Having Sex

Request: Can you please do a seventeen reaction to one of the members walking in on them have really rough sex ,I’m sorry 😂.(ps. I love your blog, your amazing 😘)

A/N: I’m back from the dead, I feel dead wow… anyway like sorry this is late @ the requester anyway hope u enjoy


S.Coups:

“Why cant anyone in this place learn how to knock, aigoo” *Shoos Jisoo out by throwing something nearby in his direction”

Woozi:

“Could you please politely fuck off Mingyu, thanks.” *Glares at Mingyu until he’s running out, most likely telling the other members what he witnessed.*

DK:

“Oh shit, we’ve been discovered…” *Slowly hides you both under the blankets*

The8:

*Literally has nothing to say but the other member knows he’s suddenly irritated that they stepped in on very intimate moment*

Originally posted by wonnhao

Wonwoo:

“Run along and play with your toys, Chan.” *just continues whether poor mind corrupted Lee Chan is still standing at the door or not*

Originally posted by mc-gyu

Hoshi:

“It’s not what it looks like, I’m just teaching y/n how to body roll in bed… now gtfo so I can continue without distractions”

“then why are you both naked?”

“wHAT DID I JUST SAY”

Joshua:

“CaNT TWO PEOPLE GET INTIMATE AROUND HERE?”

Mingyu:

“Care to Join, Wonu?” *Resting bitch face* “No? Okay then get fuck out.”

Seungkwan:

“Oh my god~ Can you not see I am busy.”

Jeonghan:

“Kim Mingyu I’m giving you 5 seconds to stop staring at my girlfriend and get out of here before I beat your perverted ass.”

Vernon:

“Bitch what the fuck do you need from me…”

Jun:

“What the fuck, first you take my lines then you take away my sex life… smh” 

Dino:

THIS BABY CHICKPEA IS TOO PURE FOR THE SEX DONT EVEN TRY TO IMAGINE IT BC JISOO WILL HOSE U DOWN WITH HOLY WATER

~ Admin Kai

How to Cook for college students (and people who just live on their own and need some pointers):

Potatoes

Potatoes are extremely versatile. Yes, you’ve done the butter, salt, sour cream thing before I’m sure. That’s a good thing to do when you’re strapped for time. However, there’s a lot of cool things you can do. 

If you have a collection of spices and herbs, use those on your baked potatoes along with butter, cheese, or sour cream. 

Put a fried egg on a baked potato. Pop that bad boy over it and take in its yellow gooey goodness. It’s a great pop of protein too. 

Oatmeal and Grits: 

Oatmeal doesn’t have to be sweet. But if you want sweet oatmeal, substitute water with apple cider, put some cinnamon and nutmeg in it. Maybe throw some vanilla yogurt into it with some raisins. It tastes like apple pie. It’s AMAZING. When all my mom and I could afford were these things, she’d make this in the morning and it was extremely helpful. 

To make savory oatmeal or grits, cook your oatmeal in broth. Add salt, pepper, cheese, cream, green onions… you’re in business. Maybe even wilt some spinach into it. Put a fried egg on it…. oh my gosh. 

It’s so versatile. 

Peanut Butter: 

Good on everything. put it on everything. Ok… maybe not everything. It’s amazing for ramen especially. 

It’s an amazing thing for mornings. Dip a banana in it, it’s a quick run out the door breakfast. It’s filling and gives you energy for a short while. 

Eggs: 

Boil them. If you don’t know how, just put them in water with a tablespoon of baking soda, and bring to a boil for five to seven minutes before turning the stovetop off. Let them sit for a little bit. Drain the water. 

They are insanely versatile and can get you through tough times. 

Lentils and dried legumes: 

Very cheap. 

Soak them overnight and then the fun can start. 

Puree chickpeas with salt, tahini (optional), lemon juice, olive oil, and cumin. you’ve got hummus. 

Lentils make good soup. Will give you clean amazing energy. They will fill you up. Dip bread into it also. It’s amazing. Making soups takes very little prep time and often times you can chop up everything, throw it in a pot with broth and spices and leave it with occasional stirring. Got a long day of classes? Get a crock pot. Leave it on during the day, you’ll come home to amazing soup. 

Some amazing video resources for students and those living on their own (These are all Brothers Green Videos because they have reasonable and practical tips and their videos have given me some amazing advice):

Sauce Hacks: How to make simple sauces for everyday cooking

Cooking Cheat Codes: How to make anything taste good

10 creative recipes using just an egg

10 creative recipes using just potatoes: Part I and Part II 

Cup Noodle Hacks

Ramen Noodle Hacks

Get Creative with Pancake Batter

Here’s the beginning of an Amazing Series for Vegans: How to live like a Vegan King on $50 a Week

How to Eat incredibly Well on just $3 a Day: Part I, Part II, Part III 

How to cook for a Week on a Budget: Beginner’s Guide 

How to Shop at the Market: Pantry Essentials

How to Shop: Veggies and Herbs

How to Shop: Dairy and Meat

Learn the Basics of Cooking

You might be wondering: How can I trust this post is best? Well, I have been in school for 10 years. I’m 27, I do all the cooking at home. And if you need a testimonial: @laxchulax2ya “She goes hard in the kitchen, guys…I know from personal experience lol. Yaaaas!”

THAI SWEET POTATO BURGERS WITH A SPICY PEANUT SAUCE 
Yields 6 - 8 patties 

FOR THE BURGERS:

  • 1 large sweet potato
  • ½ cup cilantro, finely chopped
  • ¼ cup fresh basil leaves, finely chopped
  • 3 large garlic cloves, minced
  • 2 teaspoons finely grated ginger
  • ½ cup roasted and salted peanuts, finely chopped
  • ¾ cup gluten-free rolled oats, processed into a coarse flour
  • 1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  • 2 tablespoons ground flax + 3 tbsp water, mixed in bowl
  • ½ tablespoon sesame seed oil
  • 1 tablespoon low-sodium tamari (or coconut aminos for soy-free option)
  • 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
  • 1 teaspoon ground coriander
  • 1 teaspoon fine grain sea salt, or to taste
  • Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

FOR THE PEANUT SAUCE:

  • 1 garlic clove
  • 6 tablespoons smooth peanut butter (or almond or sunflower seed butter)
  • 2.5 tablespoons fresh lime juice
  • 2 tablespoons low-sodium tamari (or coconut aminos)
  • 1-2 tablespoons water, as needed
  • ½ tablespoon pure maple syrup (or other sweetener)
  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
  • 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F and line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
  2. Peel the sweet potato. Using a box grater with the regular-sized grate holes, grate 1.5 cups of sweet potato. Place in large bowl. I had about ½ of the sweet potato leftover, so I sliced it into 1-cm rounds and placed it on the baking sheet. Drizzle with oil and toss to coat.
  3. In a large bowl, stir together the grated sweet potato, cilantro, basil, garlic, ginger, and chopped peanuts.
  4. In a food processor, add the oats and process until finely chopped. You want the texture to be like a coarse flour. Stir the oat flour into the bowl with the vegetables.
  5. Now add the drained chickpeas into the processor and process until finely chopped. You want the mixture to be a cross between a coarse paste and finely chopped chickpeas, but don’t completely puree the chickpeas. Stir the processed chickpeas into the bowl with the vegetables and oat flour.
  6. In a mug, whisk together the ground flax and water. Let it sit for only 20 seconds or so, any longer and it will get too thick. Stir this flax egg into the vegetable chickpea mixture until fully combined.
  7. Stir in the sesame oil, tamari, lime juice, coriander, salt, and pepper all to taste.
  8. Shape the mixture into 6-8 patties, packing each patty tightly between your hands so it holds together well. Place each patty onto the prepared baking sheet along with the sweet potato rounds.
  9. Bake for 20 minutes, then gently flip the patties and potato rounds and bake for another 15-17 minutes until golden on both sides. You might have to remove the sweet potato a bit early - just keep an eye on them so they don’t burn.
  10. While the burgers are baking, prepare the peanut sauce. Add all sauce ingredients into a food processor and process until smooth. Adjust ingredients to taste if desired. The sauce will thicken up as it sits.
  11. After baking, place patties on a cooling rack for 10 minutes to cool slightly. Serve with toasted buns (or lettuce or whole grain wraps), tomato slices, roasted sweet potato, lettuce, and the peanut sauce.
  12. The peanut sauce will store in the fridge for at least a week. The burgers can be frozen (after baking and cooling) for a couple weeks.

Notes: 1) To make the burgers soy-free, use coconut aminos in place of the tamari or simply omit it all together. 2) To make this recipe nut-free, omit the peanuts in the burgers and use sunflower seeds instead. For the peanut sauce, you can probably use sunflower seed butter instead of the peanut butter, but you will likely have to adjust the other ingredients to taste since its more bitter than peanut butter.

 

(Relatively) Low-Spoon Falafel

So I love falafel, but all of the recipes out there seem to use a hundred ingredients and take a lot of prep. I modified an existing recipe to make it better for the days when I have minimal energy. Cool tip: it takes fewer spoons if you prepare the onion and parsley beforehand and freeze them in recipe-sized portions!

  • Cooking oil (about 1/3 cup)
  • Onion
  • ¼ cup  parsley
  • 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  • 1 egg
  • ¼ cup flour
  • pinch salt

Start by cutting the onions into quarters and putting them and the parsley in the food processor. After they’re chopped up fairly fine, put them in a saucepan with about a tablespoon of cooking oil. 

Next, use the food processor to puree the chickpeas until they create a smooth paste. Mix the chickpea paste, the onion mixture, flour, egg and salt. If it’s too wet, add a little more flour!

Put the rest of the cooking oil in the saucepan and form the mixture into little patties, approximately 1 cm thick. Drop the patties into the warm oil and fry for two minutes on each side, or until each side is golden brown. 

Eat plain, with tzatziki sauce or (my personal favourite) sour cream!

Hummus with a Dash of Peanut Butter

My own version of hummus! Thought I’d add some peanut butter to it!

INGREDIENTS:

1 can chickpeas

half a lemon

4 tbsp olive oil

4 cloves garlic - minced

salt and pepper

1 tbsp peanut butter

1 tsp parsley

DIRECTIONS:

1. Puree the chickpeas with 4 tbsp of the juice inside the can.

2. Blend in lemon juice, salt and pepper.

3. Add in peanut butter, garlic and blend.

4. Garnish with parsley and pine nuts.

Roasted chickpeas with carrot puree and parsnip fries

What a colorful and simple lunch this is.

Roasted chickpeas: 15-20 minutes in the oven with all the spices you like;
Parsnip fries: 20-25 minutes in the oven with olive oil, salt & pepper;
Carrot puree: blend cooked carrots with salt, pepper, ginger, juice of orange & a bit of rice cream.

Yum yum yum.

anonymous asked:

What are good after-workout snacks?

Protein Shake with Banana

“After a workout, you want ample protein combined with a carbohydrate,” says Reisinger. A protein shake made from whey protein, water, and half a banana is a great choice, since your body quickly turns it into energy.

Recommended Serving Size: 2 scoops of whey protein powder combined with water and ½ banana, 250 calories

Peanut Butter & Banana on Rice Cakes

If you’re craving something more substantial after a workout, a healthy peanut butter and banana sandwich will fit the bill. Instead of bread, smooth your peanut butter onto two brown rice cakes for extra fiber (without empty carbs). And while you may usually avoid bananas because they’re too full of sugar, eating one after a workout is just fine. “This is one of the only times I recommend a high-glycemic carbohydrate source such as banana, because the uptake will be rapid,” says Reisinger. Translation: It’ll replenish your energy quickly.

Recommended Serving Size: 1/2 banana, 1 tbsp. peanut butter, and 2 brown rice cakes, 215 calories

Hummus and Pita

Another great carb/protein combo: Hummus and whole wheat pita. Hummus, a dip made from pureed chickpeas, gives you both carbs and protein. Coupled with the slow-release energy from the whole wheat pita, it makes for a snack that’ll keep you fueled for hours.

Recommended Serving Size: 1/4 cup hummus with 1 whole wheat pita, 275 calories

Yogurt and Fresh Berries

Protein makes sense after a workout, since it contains amino acids that help build muscle. “Your muscles are depleted of amino acids after a workout, so you need an adequate supply of protein to help build them up,” says Reisinger. Low-fat yogurt can pack nearly 15 grams of protein; add some berries for carbohydrate-driven energy.

Recommended Serving Size: 1 8-ounce container of plain, low-fat yogurt with ½ cup berries, 180 calories

Tuna on Whole Wheat

What could be more filling after a workout than half a sandwich? And when you choose its filling wisely, you’ll be building muscle while you eat, too! “Research shows that carbs and protein together have a better response to post-workout recovery,” says Reisinger. Tuna drizzled with a little lemon juice and olive oil spread over a slice of whole wheat bread is an ideal protein/carb mini-meal.

Recommended Serving Size: 4 ounces water-packed tuna and 1 slice whole wheat bread, 220 calories

Turkey and Cheese with Apple Slices

If you’re not in the mood for a sandwich, skip the bread and eat the fillings on their own! Spread a soft-cheese wedge over two or three slices of lean deli turkey, then roll up for a quick, high-protein, eat-on-the-go snack. Add a sliced apple for some energy-boosting (and glycogen-replenishing) carbs.

Recommended Serving Size: 4 ounces deli turkey, 1 soft cheese wedge, and 1 apple, 240 calories 

Source: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/recipes/snacks/low-calorie/after-workout-snacks/

I have started to like hazy skies. Maybe this is a thing that happens when you’ve been in LA too long. I used to hate the haze, I used to pause on the days when the mountains were crystal clear and want to take a picture of them just to prove that it was possible, that they existed in the reality equivalent of high-definition, and now I look out at the sky on a hazy day and it makes me feel comfortable or taken care of. Today was hazy but it felt like a safe haze.

I went to a picnic in a park with my son and I was that person at the picnic with her son, which I am starting to get used to but still seems strange. There were people I hadn’t seen in a long time and people I talked to a little bit and wanted to talk to more. But, you know, Cooper really wanted to put the rocks in the pathway into his mouth/trachea, and he needed to eat his dinner, and he got peaches all over my friend’s blanket and wiped tomato-beef-chickpea puree on my new jeans, and he was generally actually pretty decent but also was a 10-month-old baby who needs constant supervision and doesn’t particularly enjoy being held or entertained by people he doesn’t know.

My husband was out with friends so when I came home I picked up all the toys all over the house and sang to Cooper while I did it and made him laugh and set up his bath and waited for him to finish pooping before I stripped him down and scrubbed off all of the day and read him I Am A Bunny for the 467th time and brushed his soft hair and pulled the curtains. I thought about how nice it would be to go to sleep every night and wake up with a clean slate, to have this period of your life that you were guaranteed to not remember. Then I thought about how probably this period of your life that you’re guaranteed to not remember is the BEST period of your life, the one where you have people holding you and singing to you and washing you with organic soap and making silly faces at you and keeping you safe, and how much I would really LIKE to be able to remember that sometimes.

I spent a lot of today apologizing for things I shouldn’t be apologizing for, and then apologizing for apologizing because I know that apologizing is a Thing We Shouldn’t Do, and then felt cliche for even being a woman that apologizes too much. I re-read a poem I’d written a few days ago and realized it still needed work. Of course it still needed work! I just wrote it! But, you know, there’s always that weird moment with writing where your initial pride over finishing a draft turns into a dread over how much work still has to be done, and then into a deflation of sorts. A reminder that you’re not some brilliant genius whose first drafts are some sort of pure, refined gift. I gave the poem to my husband and he confirmed that it still needed work and said he thought maybe there were too many ideas in it. This is a problem I’ve been having lately. I go for walks and I think of a lot of lines that I want to write down and I don’t actually think many of them BELONG together but I don’t have the patience to think up other lines that do belong with them, so I mush them all together and stare at them and fiddle with line breaks. I think I’m having the brain equivalent of that part of the road right after an accident where all the cars are so overjoyed at getting past the accident that they speed up really fast and seem to be streaming freely forward and forward, no matter where they ought to be ending up.

I’ve been thinking, too, about the culture of backlash we live in now, where any time something is heralded as Great or even just Good we have like 40 think pieces come out all at the same time claiming that thing is actually Problematic. We don’t know how to just like something any more. Everyone is terrified that if they come out and just say “I liked this thing” they’ll be made fun of or, worse, yelled at by those who are more “informed” about this object or area of concentration and have opinions about why we shouldn’t actually enjoy it. Sometimes I eat food at a restaurant and I say “I really like this!” and then my brain does a really fast scroll through all the food blogs that have probably made fun of that restaurant or have pointed out health violations or problems with how the restaurant sources its meat or stores its produce. Anyway, isn’t everything problematic, just by way of having been produced by human beings, who are inherently problematic? What are we supposed to do about how problematic everything is in our lives? How much can we cut out before it becomes ludicrous? I’m faced with these dilemmas and I end up eating Pop Tarts and watching reality TV because I’m overwhelmed with how many things I’m not supposed to be doing or enjoying in my life, and it backs me into a corner, it really does.

I even occasionally create a backlash in my head against my own son. I go from thinking he is this wonderful being who brings me joy to feeling like actually I wasn’t very smart to have a child at this point in my life, or maybe we should have been one of those couples who travels a lot and sleeps in every weekend and reads each other New Yorker stories while sipping whiskey at 3 pm in some weird, un-child-proofed cottage. Sometimes it’s really hard to just sit down and enjoy who he is in the moment. We’re all constantly trying so hard to look over our shoulders and jump into other people’s skins and second-guess our gut reactions to things. We all read the comments sometimes to see if our opinion of what we just read was “wrong.”

Perhaps I have started to like hazy skies because when you can’t see too far into the distance you sort of have to just stand where you are and be in that place. I’m trying very hard to do that. It’s June, and I’ve just told my dog I love him, and I’m about to go wash some bottles, and I’ve got pajama pants on, and later I’ll go look at that poem again and try to zero in on what it wants to say. Whatever it wants to say, I’ll try to listen to it on its own terms. It’s June and it’s dark and I’m problematic. It’s June and I’m constantly trying to talk myself into a place of peace.