just because you're the first doesn't automatically make you the best
we spend more time making stupid unfunny commercials than we do making decent food
not the best but still pretty good
jared? who's jared? there is no jared! jared is just a myth!
we know that you think we're objectively disgusting but come in and eat up anyways you toilet person
we are the closest that some new englanders will ever have to a religion. just don't come at night, that's when weird shit happens
cantonese for "fuck it i'm at the airport it's 2 in the morning and nothing else is around"
we are not responsible for any health problems you may have when eating whatever accidentally fell in the fryer this morning
all of our food tastes the same but you don't care, do you?
the classier option for fast-food fried chicken (if you consider deep fried jalapeno cheese sticks classy)
AND THE LORD SAID, "LET THERE BE FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES", AND MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, HE SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD! CAN I GET AN AMEN?
every now and then we have something really good but it's only for a limited time and then we just head straight back into mediocrity. also our commercials are really weird.
we hope you don't mind your fingers smelling like garlic for a week!
we're better than the other two but not by that much
BUT SHIT IT WAS 99 CENTS
it's 3 am and you're drunk
jack in the box:
it's 3 am and you're stoned
it's 3 am and you're stoned and you live in the midwest and have low standards
hurry for the chance to play russian roulette with your colon.
long john silver's:
at one point we sold a meal that was scientifically proven to be the single most unhealthy thing you could eat. that's not a joke that actually happened.
california state law requires that you must brag about us to at least three people from outside california once every two months. failure to comply will result in a $10,000 fine and your weed card getting revoked.
texas state law requires that you must brag about us to at least three people from outside texas once every two months. failure to comply will result in a $10,000 fine and loss of rodeo privileges.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.