chicken tacos

honest slogans for fast food chains
  • mcdonald's: just because you're the first doesn't automatically make you the best
  • burger king: we spend more time making stupid unfunny commercials than we do making decent food
  • wendy's: not the best but still pretty good
  • subway: jared? who's jared? there is no jared! jared is just a myth!
  • arby's: we know that you think we're objectively disgusting but come in and eat up anyways you toilet person
  • dunkin' donuts: we are the closest that some new englanders will ever have to a religion. just don't come at night, that's when weird shit happens
  • panda express: cantonese for "fuck it i'm at the airport it's 2 in the morning and nothing else is around"
  • kfc: we are not responsible for any health problems you may have when eating whatever accidentally fell in the fryer this morning
  • popeye's: all of our food tastes the same but you don't care, do you?
  • church's: the classier option for fast-food fried chicken (if you consider deep fried jalapeno cheese sticks classy)
  • chick fil-a: AND THE LORD SAID, "LET THERE BE FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES", AND MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, HE SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD! CAN I GET AN AMEN?
  • pizza hut: every now and then we have something really good but it's only for a limited time and then we just head straight back into mediocrity. also our commercials are really weird.
  • domino's: we hope you don't mind your fingers smelling like garlic for a week!
  • papa john's: we're better than the other two but not by that much
  • little caesars: BUT SHIT IT WAS 99 CENTS
  • taco bell: it's 3 am and you're drunk
  • jack in the box: it's 3 am and you're stoned
  • white castle: it's 3 am and you're stoned and you live in the midwest and have low standards
  • chipotle: hurry for the chance to play russian roulette with your colon.
  • long john silver's: at one point we sold a meal that was scientifically proven to be the single most unhealthy thing you could eat. that's not a joke that actually happened.
  • in-n-out: california state law requires that you must brag about us to at least three people from outside california once every two months. failure to comply will result in a $10,000 fine and your weed card getting revoked.
  • whataburger: texas state law requires that you must brag about us to at least three people from outside texas once every two months. failure to comply will result in a $10,000 fine and loss of rodeo privileges.
  • starbucks: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.