chicken is the bomb

imagine southern John Laurens

• instead of yo yo yo he says y'all y'all y'all
• “my dharlin’ Alexander”
• “sweetheart, you need to get come rest”
• he owns a horse and it’s name is Minnie
• Alexander refuses to ride Minnie
• John when Alexander roasts Tjeffs: “oh bless your heart”
• John using a lot of southern slang and confusing the hell out of Alexander
• John hating his accent
• Alexander loving his accent
• John and Alexander getting into little arguments about John’s accent
• John’s southern accent getting stronger as they argue
• And Alex is just grinning the whole time
• John trying to wake Alex up in the morning, and Alex is just grumpy and John teases him by saying “My, Alexander, aren’t you just peachy this morning?”
• Deadass this man makes some absolutely bomb dot com fried chicken
• He loves peaches
• And iced tea
• Alex heard John mutter “fucking yankees” one day and he has no idea what the hell that means
• “dharlin”
• please imagine southern John Laurens
• p l e a s e
• s o u t h e r n b e l l e j o h n l a u r e n s

wanted to use all my canned veggies that have been sitting around for a while so i threw them all into chicken broth with rice and it’s the bomb actually

ARMY TAG

i was tagged by @hobikookie, thanks sweetie xx 

1. Who was your bias when you first started stanning BTS?

jungkook 

2. Who is your current bias?

still jungkook :’) 

3. What is your favorite bangtan bomb?

hmmm this is hard… i really love the eat jin bombs with kookie (the fruit chicken and the one where namjoon hears jin screaming lmao) the ‘bba sae’ bomb from chicago, jin bothering sleepy kookie feat. bloated taehyung, and the very first one because it’s so special now :’) 

4. What is your favorite BTS song?

lmaoo this question will never be answered by me, so just keep asking

5. Which member is your bias wrecker?

i don’t think of the other members as bias wreckers, because my bias has always been and will always be jungkook. i love all the members equally after him 

6. Which member appears in your dreams the most?

i dream about yoonkook alot…

7. What is your favorite BTS MV?

run korean version (also love save me)

8. What is your favorite BTS choreography? 

fire, boy in love, war of hormone, i need you

9. Which BTS choreography do you dance to most often? 

definetly fire 

10. How long have you been an ARMY?

i’ve known bts since danger era

11. Which album track list is your favorite?

dark & wild

12. Which album art is your favorite?

hyyh part 2 and young forever (day version)

13. Which member would you choose to be your husband?

honestly, jin is husband material af. he cooks, he tells jokes, he’s manly and caring at the same time 

I tag: @ot7-enthusiast @ynoogis @jinsasleep @miniminduoz @certifiedtaehyung @yoonelle @taetaetown @agustphd @jimintensify @pjkook @jungkxook @deviltae 

6

1. Steak and mashed cauliflower with a chicken stock gravy

2. Fried cod fish with a second attempt at turnip fries. They weren’t so bad once you drown them in vinegar haha.

3. Dinner out with friends - ordered a full rack of honey-chipotle ribs with a side of broccoli, side salad not shown. 

4. PIZZA NIGHT - Phil was craving pizza so I decided to make one. Thankfully my friends had tried, reviewed, and posted this recipe earlier in the week so I had something to work with. Turned out pretty well! This particular pizza had sausage, pepperoni, and jalapenos.

5: WING NIGHT with butter buffalo sauce (not pictured was Phil’s amazing sweet chili sauced wings I’ll be having next week :D)

6. Dungeons and Dragons and Dinner - fried chicken and a side salad topped with cheese, bacon and ranch.

NOT SHOWN: Bomb as fuck rosemary roasted cauliflower I made this week, oh man, SO GOOD! Tasted more like potatoes than the turnips did haha

Eorzea Cafe menu translations

Marinated Ultros ~Genovese Style~

Ultros, lover of many. Regretfully defeated and then marinated. However, even after being cooked, his mind still continues to be filled with thoughts of his “bro”…

Cured Ham Platter of Eorzea Monsters

Meats one might imagine include that of the Dodo, Coeurl, Aldgoat, Antelope, and etc… We have attempted to arrange a wide variety of meats on a platter. Adventurers such as yourselves ought to have no trouble figuring out which monsters they belong to?!

Mandragora Bagel Sandwich

A Mandragora recreated with a bagel. Please enjoy this dish with some black tea.

Malboro Green Salad ~Bad Breath Sauce~

If you eat this with the purple bad breath sauce, then perhaps your breath will become as smelly as that of Toxic Tamlyn, the giant morbol you encountered on that Guildhest…?

Deep Fried Chicken

A deep fried plump Dodo. Add lemon for zest.

Bomb Croquette

A recreation of a flaming Bomb. Inside is an ultra spicy piece of camembert cheese!!

Demon Wall’s Honey Toast

THAT Demon Wall in honey toast form!? Be wary of knockbacks and area attacks and defeat (consume) this Demon Wall before you run out of ground!

Colibri’s Round Cake

A cake made in the pretty pink of the much adored Colibri. Its large, beady eye is made of heavenly, super sweet chocolate. Please enjoy it with this tropical mango gelato.

War God Odin

A drink created in the image of the Black Shoud’s wandering ancient primal, “Odin”. A potent alcoholic drink complete with Zantetsuken.

[Blavod Vodka + Grape Syrup + Tonic]

Flame God Ifrit

A drink portraying the scorching flames emanated by Ifrit. The added raspberry sauce depicts the flickering of the flames.

[Raspberry Sauce + Lychee Liqueur + Blood Orange Juice]

Ice God Shiva

A drink resembling the freezing cold ice primal. The stirrers are topped off with Shiva’s tears…

[Passion Fruit Collagen + Chardonnay Concentrate + Water + Blue Curacao (float)]

Thunder God Ramuh

Collect the lightning balls inside the drink and brace for Shock Strike!

[Lejay Cassis + Grapefruit Juice + Ginger Ale]

Good King Moggle Mog XII’s Tropical Pineapple Battle

A drink created in the image of King Moggle Mog XII featuring a whole pineapple! Perhaps his vassals are lurking within!?

[Pineapple + Colorful Tapioca + Fruit Cocktail + Mango Juice + Guava Juice]

Dragon God Bahamut

A representation of the ability “Akh Morn”, meaning “Circle of Death” in the language of dragons. Possibly traumatic for tanks and healers!?

[Lemon Syrup + Black Pineapple Liqueur + Soda]

Water God Leviathan

A carbonated drink with Water God “Leviathan” in mind! The edge of the glass is made to look like a Tidal Wave.

[Blue Raspberry Syrup + Soda + Grapefruit Juice + Lychee Syrup]

Storm God Garuda

A Japanese-style cocktail for Storm God “Garuda” called forth by the Ixali. Mixing the drink with a stir stick conjures up a storm in your glass!

[Yoshinogawa Sake + Umeshu + Lemon Concentrate + Gomme Syrup + Tonic + Shiso Leaf]

ASMR (½)

Description: Dan is searching through Youtube for a way to sleep when he comes across an ASMR video by a youtuber called AmazingPhil.

Tags: Masturbation; Hipster!Phil; Youtuber!Phil; NonYoutuber!Dan

A/N: Wow Drew actually wrote something for the first time in a month and it wasnt finishing a prompt he fucking needs to finish. Hoary. Part 2 coming out tomorrow. hope u are having a good day/night. 

I - II


All the breath left my lungs and I stared at him with a dumbfounded expression.

Normally people never look like their voice but Phil matched his voice is sexiness and laid back demeanor.

In short he is perfect wank material.

And who am I to let an opportunity like that go to waste?


Keep reading

wow so , most intense training shift ever, but that’s good, I now know I can take a cops badge number and (unrelated ) also know that I can be authoritative to a person taller than me and can in whatever capacity de escalate a situation as long as I know I have backup and also (related and unrelated ) I know that I love my LGBT family and also I love all social workers

best part of the shift: resident got home at 12 am with literally ten boxes of gourmet meals that were discards from his delivery job for Maple, this kid my age comes in with literally a whole food not bombs payload of like chicken salad and kale slaw for his peers just because he wants to feed them n didn’t wanna waste the food and like, direct action , we ppl can love each other in such material ways

anyways tofu is my new fave food for the following reasons:

  • super healthy
  • cheap af!! (like $2 for 4-5 servings)
  • plain but holds flavor really well for any sauce/seasoning so you can do a lot with it
  • high protein and low carb
  • easy to make
  • doesn’t taste bad like everyone says it does (if u cook it right and use enough sauce)
  • vegetarian
  • can replace meat in literally any dish
Daddy's Help Derek Luh Imagine (request)

Can I have a Derek imagine where he has a daughter and she gets her period? You can chose the rest. Thanks


“Dude where’s y/n I want some of her famous chicken salad, that shit is the bomb”

“Swazz she’s at work she insisted that she had to go to work today but honestly I thin-” I was caught off by the 13 year old daughter calling me

“Dad….” I heard Kendall say but she sounded like she was crying a little

“Yes baby?” I yelled back waiting for her response but it never came

I furrowed my eyebrows confused a little , “Okay guys I’ll be right back”

Once I reached the stairs I went into Kendall’s room but she wasn’t in there but I saw here bathroom light on

I walked over to the door and slightly knocked, “Kendall baby are you okay?” But no answer all I heard was Kendall crying

“Come on Kendall open up the door and tell daddy what’s wrong” I twisted the door knob but it was locked, then I heard my angels voice.

“Dad it happened”

I didn’t know if I heard her right “What baby?”

The door knob twisted, and the door opened. Kendall peaked her head out and once she saw I was the only one in here she opened the door all the way.

My eyes widened blood all over her toilet seat, some on her rug then I saw her pants with blood all over them.

“Dad it happened” she said tears coming out of her eyes.

Talking about ‘it happened’ means she started her period. Her mother talked to her about this that it’s going to happen soon so we had to be prepared. Y/n and I talked about saying what I had to do if it happens when she was not here but I already kinda knew what to do. When y/n and I were together before marriage y/n had her period and I took care of her so that’s what I’m gonna do with my angel.

I got on my knees grabbing out for her hands which she accepted to do, “Kendall its alright okay, remember the talk you had with mom?” She nodded “Well she had the talk with me so I know what to do.

I got up from my knees, “Okay first your gonna pick out new clothes while I’ll go tell the guys to leave okay” Kendall slowly let go of my hands going to her dresser, and I went downstairs

“Okay guys you have to leave”

“But we just -” Sam was saying but I just cut him off

“LEAVE now” all the guys quickly got up and left

Once I got back upstairs Kendall was done getting her clothes but she was still crying

“No baby don’t cry your going to fine”

I grabbed her hand taking her to y/n and I bathroom. I went to the shower and turned it on “Okay you gonna take a warm shower rinse off your body, then when you get dressed,” I went under the sink and grabbed a pad “So you remember what mom said to do with this” Kendall nodded “Put your underwear on first before anything else okay” she nodded again. I reached up to wipe away her tears “Your fine don’t cry your to pretty to cry, now after you take a shower we are gonna watch some of our favorite movies and eat ice cream” I grabbed a hold of her cheek pinching it like I did when she was a baby

Kendall swatted my hand away, then smiling at me. As I left the bathroom Kendall said something

“Thank you daddy” she tucked a pice of hair behind her ear

“Your welcome baby” I smiled at her

Macro Hacks for Low Carb

so today i had 20g of carbs…. BUT it wasn’t awful!! here’s a few things that i ate- reminder, when carbs are low, fats are high

Veggies-

Zucchini- 100g has 3.1 carbs

Spinach/Lettuce- Great Volume, about 3 carbs/85g

Green Peppers- 32g has 2 carbs 

Asparagus- smells like pee but tastes better lol

Proteins-

BACON!- no carbs, tastes fucking delicious 

Eggs/egg whites- great volume food, mix with bacon and spinach for a post lift omelet

Chicken- Universal staple for prep

Salmon- Good to mix in every once in a while to substitute for chicken

Turkey Burgers- 17g protein and 6g fat- add cheese for a bomb meal

Fats- 

Cheese?- I got pepper jack cheese, no carbs, melts great. I also have babybell and laughing cow for mini snacks 

Coconut oil- This is straight fat so you can melt it onto anything- I put it over salads with chicken

Bacon- another fat source as well as protein

Egg yolks- I literally cook them almost all the way through but not all the way and put the entire thing in my mouth… 

Condemns-

Reduced Sugar Ketchup- 1g carb, makes the eggs taste better 

Relish- seems sketch but adds flavor 

SALT- YOU NEED SODIUM!!! if you’re drinking 1+ gallons of water you need sodium to balance your electrolytes, I use pink sea salt 

Pickles- Literally one of my favorite foods ever 

I’m literally sitting here thinking about the bomb ass chicken I cooked for lunch and I literally can not wait to have it again tomorrow for lunch 😬💪🏼

anonymous asked:

No, no, no-- how are YOU doin' this fine day/evening/night??? Tell us all about it, highs and lows.

well friend it’s been a long day, dealt with a lot of shit™, but as the french say, que sera sera. i ate a bomb ass chicken feta wrap tho, highlight of my afternoon. then I dodged calls from my kinda boyfriend, & talked to one of my two friends. ya know, the usual.