Back when Yoruichi was still in Soul Society, and Byakuya and Soi Fon were both teenagers, Yoruichi sure liked to tease them. Here, at last (?), is a collection of her favorite ways to tease them both!
1. Stealing Byakuya’s hair tie.
Always a classic.
Byakuya: I have coated this hair tie with grease. The demon cat will be unable to steal it.
Yoruichi: Two questions, Byakuya-boy! Why does your hair smell like meat, and do you want this hair tie back?
2. Stealing Soi Fon’s clothes.
Soi Fon really needs to hide her clothes when she takes a bath. Because otherwise…
Soi Fon: YORUICHI-SAMA
Soi Fon: YORUICHI-SAMA PLEASE
Soi Fon: PLEASE GIVE ME MY CLOTHES BACK
3. Suggesting date plans for Soi Fon and Urahara
Because watching Soi Fon twitch is hilarious.
Yoruichi: Soi Fon! Look at this article about how to make your own romantic picnic basket!
Yoruichi: I think Kisuke would really go for that!
Soi Fon: I-I don’t have a crush on him, Yoruichi-sama!
4. Suggesting date plans for Byakuya and herself.
Because watching Byakuya fume is hilarious.
Yoruichi: Byakuya-boy! Look at this article about how to make your own romantic picnic basket!
Yoruichi: Although if it were for me, I’d want tuna rather than grapes!
Byakuya: Why do I care what you like, demon-cat?
Yoruichi: That’s no way to woo someone, Byakuya-boy!
Byakuya: I AM NOT TRYING TO WOO YOU
5. Challenging Byakuya to play “tag.”
And then beating him. And laughing.
Byakuya: You laugh now, demon cat. But I am young. And already, I am almost faster than you.
Byakuya: Your defeat is inevitable.
Yoruichi: You know I’ve been running at half speed, right?
6. Challenging Soi Fon to a “chicken dance” contest
Yoruichi mainly thinks Soi Fon should loosen up. But also the chicken dance is funny.
Soi Fon: But will this really make me a better ninja?
Yoruichi: Would I lie to you, Soi Fon?
7. Teasing Soi Fon about being a “little bee”
Soi Fon kind of likes the nickname…most of the time.
Yoruichi: What’s that ‘buzz-buzz’ I hear?
Yoruichi: Just my little bee!
Soi Fon: Y-Yoruichi-sama! Not in front of the other ninjas!!
8. Teasing Byakuya about being a “boy.”
Which, to be fair, she still does.
Byakuya: I am not a 'boy,’ demon-cat. I am 16.
Yoruichi: You are adorable.
9. Assigning Soi Fon to silly tasks.
To lighten her up and also for reasons of funny.
Soi Fon: Explain to me again why it is important to test all of these fake mustaches?
Yoruichi: Ninja disguises, Soi Fon. Ninja disguises.
10. Assigning Byakuya to silly tasks.
This one was just for reasons of funny.
Yoruichi: Byakuya-boy! Hold still! I need to practice braiding hair!
Byakuya: Y-you can’t actually give me orders, demon-cat!