chick flick

Dude on Facebook: Electra and Catwomen say “whats up”

Me: Do they? Green Lantern, Fantastic Four (ALL OF THEM), Batman vs Superman, Suicide Squad, Ghost Rider, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Batman & Robin, Batman Forever, Daredevil, X-Men: Apocalypse, X-Men: The Last Stand, most of the various Spider-Man films, Superman 3, Superman 4, Captain America (1990), X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Wolverine, Jonah Hex, Hulk, The Green Hornet, GI Joe, GI Joe 2, GI Joe refuses to fucking go away, The Shadow, Blade Trinity, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Spawn, The Phantom, RIPD, Judge Dredd, every goddamn Transformers film light them on fire, Iron Man 3, The Spirit, fucking Watchmen I apologize for reminding people that pile of garbage exists, Man of Steel, and more that I’m probably forgetting completely drown them out in a symphony of shit.

Also, it’s Elektra.

Mediocrity is the true metric of equality.

Imagine watching a cheesy chick flick with your boyfriend, Tom. You’re over it right from the start, but when you get up to get more snacks, you notice Tom’s eyes are red and puffy - he’s trying not to cry. A tidal wave of guilt rushes over you; did you really HAVE to keep mentioning how lame the story is? You should be able to see past his tough exterior by now, but It’s easy to forget how sensitive he is behind all those tattoos and muscles.

8

This house has three bedrooms, what if there’s never anyone to sleep in them? And the kitchen, what if there’s never anyone to cook for? I do, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking, “You idiot! I mean, you’re the stupidest woman in the world, you bought a house for a life you don’t even have!”  Why did you do it then?